| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 12/5/2008 6:59:06 PM | Been there rather recently - the first time should have been the last time, but my feelings overruled my head and boy am I paying the price - just like the first time. It had been many, many years and he had changed in some ways, but the other ways he changed were that he became a far worse creature than even I would have imagined. Unfortunately, I did not learn the facts until I was already drawn back into the web...stupid, stupid stupid! If you feel you were at fault, you need to look at the things you could not tolerate and ask if you can tolerate them now, because people change in small ways, but they stay the same in most ways because their character and personality are developed early in life. My advice, don't try it! | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:29:40 PM | I think everyone has at one time or another taken an EX back. Most of the other posters have expressed the inevitable outcome of this senerio.......But hell, we are all into banging our head against a wall at some point in our lives..... | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 3/16/2009 7:06:16 PM | Yes...
I got back with my Ex...
Several of the things that had caused us to split were no longer an issue...
We had a lot of rough patches, particularly over what transpired during our split...
But we decided to put a lot of effort into getting it right, and took it slowly and gently...
We also agreed that we wouldn't sweep the past under the rug, but deal with it sensibly and communicate with each other... and to make sure we were communicating and understanding... both listening and speaking...
Things are still going well, and we're closer than ever.... | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 3/16/2009 7:35:30 PM | m church,
Good for you. I think you hit the nail on the head with your post of how it is possible. The keys, you communicate about what went wrong, and took it slowly and gently. I think it varies depending on the circumstances of the breakup. In most situations, I would say no, but in some it is possible, just depending on the individuals, the situation, etc.
Would I do it? Probably not. I guess if the situation were to arise, I'd be willing to be friends, and if something happened down the line, or feelings resurfaced, than yes, it would be possible. However, it'd be very important to discuss why it happened, communicate with each other, make changes, work together, and develop the relationship. However, this can be said for any relationship. I think the key would be "starting over". Date slowly, get to know one another again, and develop your relationship. We only live once, I guess, and if both parties are willing to forgive, accept wrongs, and are willing to work on things, than it is doable.
Jeremy | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 3/16/2009 7:40:17 PM | Guess most of us do it...we remember the good times and thnk we can get them back........
I took my ex back, we'd only been split for a few days and he got on the phone crying ...he missed me....missed my smile, my laugh...everything.... so I took him back.....but he went back within 3 weeks to being the selfish arrogant ....k he was and started silly games so I finished it and left it behind me were it should have stayed the first time..........! | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 3/16/2009 9:32:42 PM | My thoughts exactly.
I did, and it wasn't worth it. The break up was worse the second time around. You're eventually reminded of why you broke up in the first place. Then, you resent the person because you think of the time you wasted when you could have been with someone who could've made you happy. | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 3/17/2009 9:29:27 PM | | "Getting back together after a breakup is like holding a yard sale and buying all of your old sh!t back! "-Laura Kightlinger. Enough said. Don't walk, RUN away!!! You can't buy back time, ever! | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 3/18/2009 9:04:01 AM | Common sense would dictate that going back is not a good plan. Less than 10% of broken relationships restart and even then the chances of success second time around are pretty dire.
BUT I now believe in miracles and if your true unconditional love is strong enough then yes a broken relationship could be mended. I realise that I could be in a minority of one here on this website but if my ex came through my door tomorrow I would throw my arms around her and take each day at a time, such is my undying love for her. | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 3/18/2009 12:43:42 PM | I tried getting back with an ex before, people are called ex's, for a reason, it didn't work.. We were too imcompatible; one of his habits was driving too fast, dangerously for the city streets, he should have his license taken from him by the police but hasn't so far; I don't know why, somebody out there could get hurt because of this man, I am frightened for other people out there, because of this man's driving, and people who drive like this man does, not really caring about anyone else accept themselves; it is pretty sad!
We also had a difference of opnion about things in life, so it didn't work.
I'd rather be alone, then be unhappy with the wrong person. | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 3/18/2009 12:56:34 PM | | My marriage had it's ups and downs just like any other, but the way it ended, the circumstances under which my x-wife's decisions were made at the end with her adultry/new relationship makes me wonder at times what I would do if she wished to give us another chance. One part of me looks at the commitment of marriage and family as something to fight for and keep at all costs, but I can not lie that another part of me would most likely never forgive the betrayal. It is a very hard thing to live with and still have to have contact with her due to the children, I wish things would have gone differently, but with knowing it would be hard for me to completely forget I would almost say I would not take her back, but if it is a possibility in the near future I may have an internal struggle to deal with. | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 3/18/2009 1:13:56 PM | | Well seeing how you spent over 7 years with this woman and week later she was already banging some other guy should tell you all you need to know. | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 3/18/2009 2:25:41 PM | My favorite is when my friends say that if I talk to so and so, they will kick my ass, or they will confront or kick her ass! Everybody needs friends like that. Especially in situations such as this.
You are just incapable of thinking straight, you need to have somebody to watch your back.
"Are you really thinking of getting back with her? Well she did cheat on me, and belittle me and made last year totally awful but it does take a special kind of person to make you feel that miserable..." (film: "How to lose your lover")
If you can in any way relate to this statement... Run like HELL!!! And don't look back! | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 3/19/2009 2:06:18 PM | I called to get back with an EX ( only relationship since my husband died, up until now) because I couldn't get closure. Even though I didn't trust him AT ALL...I still had the continuing thought that I had just not been ready to date when I met him.
The second time I went in with my eyes open......although hopeful....still fully expecting what would happen. I did my " homework" this time.......It did happen...........but this time I KNEW I had nothing to do with it..... I tried with everything in me.....it was all him!!.......controller....., and even though it still hurt some..........I had a feeling if I had not went back.....I would have always wondered. Now I am free of those feelings.
I have several friends that are ex's but it took a long time in between to let the magic feelings die.
On the other hand, my oldest brother and his wife divorced when their oldest son was 1 year old. They re-married a year later and have now been together 39 years. It can work..but usually the exception to the rule. | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 3/19/2009 3:03:41 PM | Well I have to say I'm personaly a little disheartend by what I see here.
I am currently in a mending process, and hoping to reconcile with my ex. What is truly important is to be honest with oneself and ensure you want to do this for the right reasons. Lonliness and desperation are not the right reasons. I have been apart from my ex for over 2 years now, and have grown quite a bit, as has she. There are still some things I need to address which will be of great benifit to me.
So I am curious though, of all of the people who say don't do it, do you feel that it is because of a lack of growth on yours, or your ex-partners part? Would you be a little less reluctant if there was more time, and you could see an actual improvement in the persons character? | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 3/19/2009 3:12:30 PM | The Other Shoe,
If it makes you feel better, I got back together with one Ex... and the 2nd round was better than the first round.
In grade 10 I dated a girl for 2 months and it was an okay monogamous relationship.
Then she called me out of the blue 2 years later and we both hit off better than we did originally.
The 2nd round lasted for 8 months... I was the "Other Guy"... and it was especially memorable because we didn't actually break up... we just decided mutually that the intimate side ran its course and we decided to be friends.
We still keep in touch. | |
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| Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 3/19/2009 3:52:01 PM | Nope. I never look back, always look forward. They were an ex for a reason and most of the time, that reason would still there.
Besides I count it as a learning experience and move on. I am not trying to generalize; just answering the question personally. | |
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