| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/10/2008 5:12:05 AM | Oh, boy. Romantic gestures are important at EVERY stage of a relationship- probably more important the LONGER it lasts, as it will remind the recipient that they are still adored, cared for, and the object of affection. But the key word is "gesture"-not cliched gifts. The most romantic gifts are those that cost no money, such as, helping me into my coat, holding the door open for me, making me breakfast, surprising me with a token gift just "because"-and it can be made, not bought, in fact, THAT is much more romantic.
Spending time together is important, and it is appreciated when someone rearranges their busy schedule to fit you into it. But THAT is not romance. That is practicality. And one thing that can be said of romance- it is anything but practical. In fact, nothing with kill romance quicker than PRACTICALITY. | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/10/2008 6:06:54 AM | | It seems to me that if you take the romantic gestures out of a relationship, you are left as friends. Being friends is important, but I want to be treated a little differently than he treats his drinking buddies or the guys at work. | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/10/2008 8:39:21 AM | I think you have a great deal of common sense is what I think! Sure, flowers such are nice, but if there's nothing heartfelt behind them...they are just things. I guess I'm just odd that way, but if a guy does do something nice for me, I'd RATHER it be genuine and unexpected. I love the rare surprise (since most I've known don't do such things anyway) but I'd much rather he'd take time from all his "stuff" and make time with me one of his priorities (something else that rarely happened in the past, if at all). That means so much more to me than trinkets and such...although, in the right circumstances, those are wonderful too. | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/10/2008 8:44:32 AM | This is where the Men Are From Mars Factor comes in. Men know what they think is romantic and if you don't ask your s/o about her thoughts on it you will never know. If she needs a flower or card or even a note hidden in her pocket, it only cost ya 5 seconds out of your day to make her smile. | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/10/2008 9:45:51 AM | if there is a question of your love or your caring ways, you better take a good look at why you are with this woman . Sounds like she is looking to make you into someone you are not.
sounds like you have to work much to hard at showing you care what does she do for you that is Romantic and makes you feel special. I t is a 100% giving on both sides not 50/50 that means only giving half of your self to the relationship!! I have learned though the years that men really want what we want they are just require to look at a way we have to figure out, Big boy don't cry or show their true feeling or they are a wuss, at least that is what was told to my brothers growing up! There I have said it!! I am older and wiser as a women who now finally after 50 some years gets men for the most part untill they woo me then stand me up!! Sh*t happens move on. Good luck to all you Mne in your Romantic venture with wife girlfriends and just female friends!  
Love and be Loved!
EVE | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/10/2008 11:18:44 AM | walking in memphis~
the little things? the romatic gestures? well, to a woman, most that i know of anyway, these things mean ALOT. of course the meaning is ambiguos, but they have significance when they come from someone you love, who loves you (hopefully), and whom you know well...etc. these are important!
look, it is really great that you go to so much trouble to spend time with someone, but so what? men do that just to get laid, so that doesn't exactly mean "love" either. if you dn't want to spend the time "wooing" someone, well, then i'd say that you are taking an awful lot for granted. romance to a woman is what sex is to a man... you like it when your g/f gives you a great bj? well, then you can certainly buy her some flowers, write her a little note and put it on her mirror that says "you are beautiful," etc. do something ANYTHING that tells her that she is THE ONE.
i am serious... it is about meeting the other person's needs. if this is somthing that she wants and needs, why the resistence to giving that to her? just because it seems dumb to you, doesn't make it dumb. i mean, we women often think its dumb that you wnat to try to have sex in positions that could only be achieved by a contorsionist ( sometimes it's just not all that comfortable), but hey... if the man we loves wants to have sex while doing some sort of strange balancing act...well, fine... we're up for it... i mean, we'll at least try... for the man we love? you f**** bet we will..
but what about you? do you think you are so wonderful that you this woman should be lucky to be with you? that your mere prescence is enough and that she should be ever so grateful?
i think you should re-think that. if she is the ONE then treat her that way. if you don't, some other man will and you will lose her.
lar | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/10/2008 12:11:04 PM | ugh i could care less about flowers LOL, actually they depress me - seeing them all sparkly and happy and then DEAD because they were chopped down for me makes me sad ..........now....a boy calling me when he's out with his friends .....MELT.....a boy taking my car to get the oil changed....again....MELT..... or if I'm going to be out late at night alone, he gives me the lecture on where to park near a light, call him if I'm nervous, ugh adorable!
Anything sweet that makes me think it's the first time he's done it for someone is absolutely adorable! when they do slick practiced things, it turns me right off - like i'm #45 getting this 'special' treatment...no thanks! | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/10/2008 12:37:24 PM |
As long as the woman feels like the most special thing he's got going in his life, and feels that he appreciates her for it, then that is romance.
 Bingo!.......that's how I view romance.....let her know each day how lucky you are and how wonderful you feel that you are together. | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/10/2008 2:59:56 PM | Just my two cents...the trick is to find someone WHO doesn't think that romantic gestures are a chore....rather something they like to do because they know the other person will feel special
For example I can throw in a frozen lasagne, or I can lovingly bake one from scratch knowing that my SO will enjoy this a thousand times more despite the time and extra effort it took. He can return the treat by taking me out to my special restaurant next time around.
While I can understand over commercialization which is completely annoying, playing on the guilt factor... not ever wanting to put yourself out or going the extra mile, to me is cold and unromantic. Certainly not my type! IMHO | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/10/2008 3:08:37 PM | Well, put yourself in her shoes.
How would you like it if your GF didn't do her hair, make up, and shower even before she comes to see you? What if she stopped putting forth effort.
It sounds like you could be the sort of person (I apologize if you are not, but appearances would be ...) that doesn't appreciate the little things us women do to woo YOU guys ...
but simply put yourself in her shoes and you'll have your answer. | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/10/2008 3:33:40 PM | Perhaps if this were phrased another way? How about gestures of love? Sound better? And I think it gets at the gist of the question. How well would any man, child, woman do without them?
Chocolates? I think one of the reasons they *can* work is that women, on the whole, deny that to themselves. Being given the gift, also means being given "permission" to consume, lol! I was well over 50 before I ever bought chocolates for *me* ~~
As for women making gestures of love. . . . Does she remember to cook things you said you liked? Does she buy shirts in colors you like? Not use perfume you don't like? Meet you at the door, kiss you goodbye when you're leaving? Let you alone or join you on Superbowl Day? Remember the name of your first grade teacher? Does she buy you ties you actually have fun wearing? Replace books you've lost? &c &c &c?
Gestures I've especially loved in the past: getting a call from Whole Foods asking if there's anything I need; a cup of hot tea when I'm feeling punk; being wakened to say goodbye; being wakened to say I'm home. When I'd misplaced a hat he'd given me: "But I *loved* you in that hat!" Checking to make sure I had toll booth $ before a trip. Buying two packs when I'd only asked for one (he didn't smoke). The fact that his face lit up when I entered a room. And the fact that the absolute ONLY time I ever in my whole life asked: Does this dress make me look fat? He responded without missing a beat: You look W O N D E R F U L!!! (Changed the dress anyway, lol!) And yes, all these and more happened *after* my 65th birthday, so fellas: NO, we don't ever get over the need. . . .
Happy Valentine's all. . . .
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/10/2008 3:42:46 PM | | Why needed? Because "love" is a verb, not just an abstract noun...it's something you DO and demonstrate. If you're spending time at her house and she has stocked your favorite beer in her fridge...it's not an accident, she's making a romantic gesture. If she rents those ghastly Vin Diesel movies cause she knows you like action films...or massages your shoulders while you're snuggled up against her...or buys you cds or books, has your favorite takeout meal in a picnic hamper when she picks you up from work...or bakes snacks or prepares a nice dinner for you...whispers how hot you look in those jeans or that shirt...or does your laundry, offers to drive, reaches over and unzips you and (insert suggestive idea here) while you're driving...surprises you with concert or sports tickets or answers the door wearing nothing but a smile and a thong....those are romantic gestures, with you in mind. Is a little reciprocation too much to hope for? | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/11/2008 11:10:27 AM | My ideas of romantic gestures - you are walking along and he picks a flower or a little bouquet of them and gives them to you. You are sick and he comes over to help take care of you, wash your dishes, throw a load of laundry in. Little things that are thoughtful and unexpected - those are the most romantic gestures of all.
Everyone wants to feel loved in the relationship and it's those little things that make all the difference in the world. | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/11/2008 11:24:10 AM | well OP sounds like you and your lady are on different levels of wants and needs...its not a big thing unless one of ya really needs a surtan thing for a relationship to work...me personally i don't bother with romantic gestures cause i don't see the need for them...its based of how much you respect and care for each other really...also i'm not a romantic person either... | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/11/2008 11:24:41 AM | romance ... the things you do to spice up the relationship. if all we did on a day in and day out basis was the routine, spending our time doing the must do's, how would we flame the fire of our desire? it doesn't require tons of money, it's not something you are required to do. it's about thoughtfulness, something you do because you think it will a) please your partner b) gives you pleasure to please your partner.
leave a note in their pocket telling them you cant wait to see him/her again
running the bath (bubbles optional) when you know they've had a rough day
going for a walk together on a nice afternoon and stopping for an ice cream
it's setting an atmosphere to transform the every day into something a little special, candles ($1 each or less), some music, some wine, and YOU. that is basic romance and it' doesn't have to be grand, it has to be heartfelt.
why are they needed? because you want your sig other to feel cherished and loved on an ongoing basis, not that you courted em, caught em, and now you don't need to do anything to keep em. if you woo em and then figure that's all you have to do, did you really mean the things you did to woo them in the first place? | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/14/2008 1:02:17 PM | different people receive and express love in different way - for some, giving and receiving gifts/notes/cards is an important part of love.. for others, having their dishes done/grass cut/oil changed, expresses love in a way that is very meaningful to them...etc...
but if we love someone, then it's up to us to find out and express love in a way that makes the other person feel loved, no matter what we think of it...imo | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/15/2008 9:39:44 PM | | The little romantic gestures add up.....Some of us do still hold doors open...hold hands.....whisper in ears nice things......andmake an extra special effort to woo the one we are with. Even if she doesnt appreciate it.....I still do these things for me.....Embedded in my moral fabric I guess.... | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/15/2008 10:02:30 PM | Those little romantic gestures do add up and should never go unnoticed or taken for granted! It is those small things that let you know the other person cares about you, not to mention the spark they add to the burning flames of passion!!
I am a very much a romantic person. I'm always sending little love notes or steamy messages, especially when i know he is having a rough day...hopefully, it gives him a little something to smile about...that makes it all worthwhile to me! | |
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| Romantic gestures .... Why are they needed ??
Posted: 2/16/2008 2:02:18 AM | | What about those people who are shoppaholics have gifties for everything you can think of this makes them happy giving to them is better than recieving but does it mean as much to you as the person who on rare occasion gets something even it its a choclate bar is it any more loving. If you know youre in love and feeling neglected Im sure communication is best. If you really have to have something tell him give you some money and go shopping. As I said Romantic Gestures to me can be a smile a joke a wink watching TV Together A movie, when shes had a hectic day srubing out a burnt pan ot pot who knows. Just with some gesture knowing if your partner is upset or feeling excited about something goes along way. VISA VERsA | |
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