| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 10:56:02 AM | Messages 4,9 and 24 are such SOUND advice.
With the passing of time comes healing from the pain.
I feel that one can not look ahead entirely if they keep looking back.
I like the idea to digitally replace with a celeb over their photo on this , that could be amusing. Something one could reflect as a trip to disney world if they wanted to as well. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 11:00:08 AM | | I have a memory box under my bed with a pic of my ex boyfriend in,plus the little poems he wrote and all the train tickets from when i would go and visit him.Our relationship was special enough for me to keep and treasure all the memories. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 11:08:44 AM | | I have an over 20 yr marriage worth of pictures. What is worse is I was usually the cameraperson. If I threw out everything He was in I'd have no memories left, not to mention I have children and grandchildren to preserve the past for so I just keep them put away. As time goes on they become less painful and less personal. I do have one family picture up on the wall with him in it in the family room. I just avoid looking at it, lol. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 11:20:21 AM | Put them in a box and stick them under the bed. You'll know what to do with them later, trust me. They're reminders of all sorts of emotions and memories. Not all memories are bad. You'll want to keep the ones that you like.
Did you ask her if she wanted any of the photos ? I have been known to block out parts of any picture I don't like...why throw out the baby with the bathwater?
Things will sort out and remember what I always say - that sun's surely going to shine tomorrow.
mariaChristina
p.s. ever given thought to dart-board covers? (KIDDING!!!) | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 11:23:19 AM | Ex's pics are part of our past and the roads we have traveled,whether rocky or smooth. Like it or not? all of past relationships help mould our character and create inner strenght. Apppreciate that you had someone to share 1000's of pics with. Some people travel this world very alone. (sad really) You sound a little bitter at the moment, YOU WILL , learn acceptence, and one day cherish old memories,
P.S not at all a dumb post!! | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 11:25:41 AM | | I had one picture of me and my ex when we were in Ibiza but I cut off one half of the photo with her on it and kept the other half and used it as one of my photos on my profile on this site. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 2:41:34 PM | I don't have any pictures of any of my ex's... Not that I through them out or anything, just for some reason - never really took pictures.
Though I know one of my ex's still has a picture of me - Asked 'em why he wouldn't throw it out... " It's because of the car I was standing beside... "
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 2:44:06 PM | | Pictures are great for bonfires:) | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 9:39:53 PM | Not sure if I have any pictures of my Ex or not. I know I had some nude pictures. When I found them I considered 3 options.
1. Sell them to Playboy, but most likely they'd pay me to take them back.
2. Mail them to her new husband.
3. Tear them up..
I choose 3, figured there would be less chance for her to take me to court over them. LOL | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 9:48:54 PM | I have all my pics from my marriage for my kids sake. They love sitting and going through them and it is the history of their parents. I don't look at them myself.
As far as ex boyfriends. I dated a guy for two years. Went to my friend's house, drank wine and we made a fire and burnt them. I have never regretted it.
If the pics are of special places, then do like scrap booking.. you can cut out certain shapes, alter the size etc. to keep what you want in the photo. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 9:54:38 PM | Just find a new girlfriend that looks like her. Problem solved.
I have a lot of pics of my ex but I will save them to give to my kids. I have no use for them personally, except when I need a refill for my dartboard. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 10:06:01 PM | You keep the pictures of course because after all they were
wonderful memories at one time , right?
I had saved every thing that my old boyfiend and i did the
whole time we were together. And i mean every ticket stub to the
Omaha play house, the movies, rose peddles, and yes even a sexy santa
suit,lol In the end i did something very foolish because i was so upset.
I boxed every thing up in a huge box,lol and sent it to him.
Which im sure went right in the trash,lol or maybe his new girlfriend
got my new santa suit, dam it !!!! lol
Now i look back and thought how stupid i was and wish i still
had every thing we did because at the time they were very wonderful times.
And now im greatful i had them. Besides the Santa suit was brand new,
Gezzzzzzzz could have used it , hehe So, good luck and maybe think
about it for a while. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 10:32:10 PM | Put them in a box, tape it shut and put it in storage.
You don't need to see them now and you may want to save them or eventually destroy them.
Either way, out of site - out of mind. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/19/2007 3:36:20 AM | Awwww that's not a dumb post you poor thing!
Well, I had quite a long relationship which recently ended and I have just kept all the photos. Maybe that's because deep down I do still love the ex. But also because like you say in your post-they are YOUR memories too, your life experiences. A break up is NOT easy to deal with atall, but (and I never thought I'd say this) it is true that it gets easier with time. Consider why you can't stand to see her in the photos? Was she unfaithful and it all ended badly? Or is it more like in my case, it seems unbearable to really part with these memories because you still love her deep down? Because I think what you should do will depend on that....
If you have a lot of animosity toward this girl for any reason, the bottom line may be just to be rid of them- or perhaps, give them to someone else (a close friend or so) to keep in their loft temporarily or something. Temporarily so that you can change your mind later if you need to.
If you still love the girl then I don't think you should get rid of them. You shouldn't sit there and pine for her, looking at them day after day, but just put them in a private place and in time when those feelings fade away, at least you will still have good reminders of your memories, which I'm sure your future children may sometime like to see! The reason I reckon keeping them out of the way but not necessarily being rid of them altogether is a better option is because, when you've been in a relationship with a person for all that time, they become part of you and still leave their mark behind as part of your personality. So, even though it may be hard to cope with it NOW, later, having her in the photos may not even bother you. It'd be a shame to make rash, emotionally charged decisions at this stage. At the end of the day, these experiences were an era of your life as much as they were yours. Kepp them, and I wish you luck in finding someone new and worthwhile!! x x x  | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/20/2007 6:31:01 AM | | Hanging onto things of the past is only hurting yourself. IF You feel that the photos mean nothing later on to look at then the time you spent with that person was nothing but a waste of effort and time in your life. I feel those that say such are fooling themselves. I had a few photos of an ex but gave them to my daughter to put in her photo album since they were of her dad. Why keep them around for yourself when it is part of a healthy healing process to get rid of in some way to let go symbollically then? I also feel that cutting the person out of a nice trip photo may be a good alternate idea instead of acting like that trip never happened to discard it. My mom has a bad habit of instantly taking a photo of someone I am with when she just meets them. Then later on giving me the pics if we have broken up, I tell her to just get rid of those. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/20/2007 7:01:02 AM | | My sister and I came to an easy solution. I have and hold onto all the pictures of her ex. The divorce was very bitter to the point he slashed her tires, drained the oil out of her car anything and everything to 'get even' for her leaving him. We know some day her kids are going to ask questions and want answers about their marriage. Until then I have it all. OP you might want to ask a family member to hold on to them until the day you can look at them without all the hurt. Believe it or not that day will come. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/20/2007 7:13:06 AM | If you EVER loved your ex you should keep the photo's.
Why would you want to dispose of a freeze frame of a moment in time
when that person meant something good to you? If there are painful pics put them in an envelope and seal them away so you won't look. Time marches on and at somepoint
you may feel very differently about the experience and what it means as a chapter in the book of your life. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/20/2007 7:39:46 AM | Photos are the history. You can't change your history just by throwing the pics.
When time will pass -- it won't be so hurtful, and eventually you will look at them as memories. I love memories so I never throw mine | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/20/2007 8:08:20 AM | I agree with couldusecompany;
I've packed up everything and put it away in a sealed box. Eventually i'll find it again several years down the road when it doesn't hurt so much and by then i'll be able to appreciate the memories, whereas right now it is too soon and still stings.
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/20/2007 8:42:01 AM | | Stop looking at them, put them all in a box or container of some kind and put them in a hard to reach spot where it wont be easy to get to them, and keep them there for a while...then when u are ready to look at them again, could be a couple years u will be abe to..i wouldnt trash them, take it from someone who regrets an action like that. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/20/2007 10:05:05 AM | Thanks so much everyone for all your compasionate replies and all the advice. To me its more of the other memories. I mean for the past years she is beside me in many of the pictures which include my sisters wedding, my brothers wedding, trips and so on so its not so much the memory of her but the memories of all the other things that are important to me. I think the best thing I can do like many have suggested is just put them away somewhere and forget about them for a few years and if my next girlfriend ever sees them then I will have to explain to her but she should understand that this is my history which also involved my family, friends and special moments and not because of the ex.
I will put them on good CD so that they last and forget about them or like some have mentioned give them to someone else to keep for some time!
Thank you kindly to all who replied! | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/20/2007 10:28:47 AM | I still have all the pictures from when i was with my ex. There stored away deep down in the caves of my computer where i do not look at them. And as for any other picture that i may have, i have them along with everything else in the "Memories Box" that she gave me and tucked away in my closet.
My ex and i had some very good times together and they are an important part of my past, and i feel if i throw them out then im just throwing out all the good times that i had with her and all the amazing memories we share. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/20/2007 12:33:48 PM | | I was married for 20 years and all my pictures, vacation and family have my x in them. The reason for our breakup was and indiscretion on his part. Here is the thing if you see these pictures and are angry you havent healed your heart or your mind. Eventually you will see the pictures and remember the time how much fun you had and it wont matter that she's in them. I have family picture on the walls and in binders for my daughter and I remember the times fondly with out anger or sadness cause I have emotionaly moved on from my X. Give it time. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/21/2007 6:24:14 AM | | I'm with putting them away. Maybe in a shoe box) high in the closet :). A year is a short time when we lose one that matters so much to us, and that we shared so many great times with. But later on you will be able to look without the hurt and they will hold such wonderful fond memories. As far as another (female) (male) not understanding ??? That is a part of ones life, and I don't feel we should have to do away with it. Only if it be ones choosing, not anothers. I feel that is their insecurity....not yours :) But there is always room for flexibilty :) And you may find later, that you like it yourself better to hold the memories in your heart. And poof...box be gone. :) | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/21/2007 7:47:08 AM | Naw not a dumb post,
Here's what I did...put those pics in a box and don't look at them for now. Life will change and you will meet someone new and fantastic. Then when you look at the pictures it won't be so painful. Might take a few years, but it will happen. Good luck! | |
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