| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:49:42 PM | | She really dumped him over that? Wow. That's crazy. If that was a criteria for her having a relationship then she should have made sure he knew from the beggining so he could walk. If someone I was interested told me I couldn't look at porn that's be the last thing they said to me. Next! I don't even watch it that much (I do enjoy it on occasion). But I'll be damned if someone is going to tell me what I can or cannot do - especially something as personal as that. | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:55:48 PM | well if its an addiction (like he is spending more time with porn than her and YES it can happen), if he never initiates but always looks at porn, or if he takes his porn to the next level and is looking to meet up with escorts... all those reasons are reasons to be mad...
but porn is GREAT... and plus, i would rather my man bust a nutt by himself and the internet (or what ever) than go find some one outside to do it for him when im not home... | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:10:45 PM | Quite honestly, I was with someone who had a problem with it. It destroyed more than one computer.
Also, I would catch him "at it" occasionally and it was all very surreptitious. I have little interest in pornography. I'm more the type to want to have the sex than just watch other people have it. Men seem to develop an addiction to it and I believe many of them become isolated and alienated from women because of some of the content. There's quite a lot of porn out there that really isn't about sex. Rather, it's about domination and humilation. Finally, the men in porn (with the exception of gay porn, usually) all look like shit and who wants to look at that? Gross. 'Course, I guess it makes most of the "average" body type (we all know what that means, don't we goils) guys out there feel better that the guys look even worse than they do. LOL!
Seriously, though. There's nothing wrong with visual stimulation, but like everything: in moderation and openly. Don't hide it under the floorboards, boys. That's just dumb. | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:11:50 PM | I watch it. I've watched it while being in a relationship. I shared time while watching it. What I became upset about was the fact that the man I was married to would gasp and try and hide the fact that he was watching it whenever I would come into the room. *duh*
He also said he never had fantasies, and didn't masturbate much. LMAO riiiiight.  | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:34:44 PM | | I never cared about my ex looking at prom, ,Then he became addicted to it. Internet prom became his mistress, and no real woman was able to compete with the fantasy. | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:41:59 PM | lonestardaddy says:
Trust me, it's sometimes scintillating to watch, but not for long. Much prefer the real thing...and w/a woman who does not disagree that it can sometimes add some 'necessary spice to our recipe'.
Funny you say that, the moment I became single and started to go out and date, well porn didn't appeal to me anymore. | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:47:59 PM | | I actually got in a huge fight with one of my coworkers over this a couple of months ago, although that also included going to strip clubs. She said that she didn't trust her boyfriend to be thinking only of her during sex because of it, and it meant he wanted to be with other women... god, she was irritating. I told her that she was getting it all wrong, looking is not the same thing as touching, to which she responded "But you're not in a relationship, you couldn't possibly understand what this is like." Gah. Anyways, I think that's stupid - sexuality is a natural part of being human, and porn doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with her or she isn't good enough - it just means he's human and he's horny. Yeesh. | |
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jg65
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Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 58 | |
| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:58:29 PM | Seems like she did him a favor
nothing wrong with a flick every now and then
and if people get addicted to it, well, i guess it'd be better than being addicted to religion or heroin... | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/28/2007 7:17:49 PM | | Here is something I have always wondered about porn. If you work in the porn industry and you are at work and your boss comes by your desk, do you have to hide the porn you were looking at on your computer? | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/28/2007 7:20:59 PM | | I think some girls care because they lack sexual maturity. As an example ... I was married, and with child, at the age of 17. (To tell you how smart I was, I didn't use ANY birth control because my mother believed that if she put me on birth control that she was giving me permission to have sex. So I guess I believed then if I wasn't on birth control I wouldn't get CAUGHT having sex?? Yep, I was dumb!) But, anyway, my now-ex-husband and I were in Las Vegas, on the main strip. Men were just piling his arms full of all kinds of pornography! And I remember snatching them out of his hands, walking the quarter block back to this unsuspecting gentleman, looked him square in the eye, and told him with no uncertainty "What are you thinking?! That man is married!!" and shoved the porn back in his face!! My husband died laughing! But here I am at 35, and I picture that same scene goin on and I imagine I would be walking the quarter block back to the unsuspecting gentleman, look him square in the eye, and say to him with no uncertainty "What are you thinking?! I want my own porn!!" | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/28/2007 7:31:46 PM | It can also give an uncreative guy some interesting new ideas.
One of my closest friends used to love it when his girl caught him watching porn. She'd get jealous... go figure... and then set out to prove that she was all he needed... LOL | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/28/2007 7:44:18 PM | | Great comments in this thread. I agree, too, it's mostly insecurity and/or a control issue. It often originates in women who cling to outdated thinking along the lines of "why would he buy the cow when he can get the milk for free". They think they need to keep a tight noose around the man's sexuality because it is their only way to keep him under control and in the relationship at all. | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/28/2007 8:05:56 PM | My mom and I were just talking about this today, she's 62, and she doesn't understand why women are bothered by it, she said she use to watch it with my dad, back in the day when it wasn't near so graphic.
Men are visual, and I think variety plays a big part, even if most won't admit it.
I think the only time when a woman should be conserned is if the consistant content is not at all healthy or even close to normal and if it becomes an obsession or a real money problem.
Women should take the opportunity to us it as a way to point out things they would like and don't like. | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/28/2007 9:25:09 PM | Whoa, now this topic knocked me off my feet. I remember giving my ex trouble cause he wasnt comfortable watching it around me (some guys are just weird). I have no problem with a guy that watches porn, who gives a damn. He's never gonna meet her let alone have sex with her/him (whichever  ) .
The one thing I would have a problem with though would be if he was constantly watching porn and never paying attention to me, then thats not right and then, yes the relationship should end. | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/28/2007 11:07:14 PM | Watching porn is not a problem to me unless a) he lies about it, and/or b) it's all that's on his computer (addiction to it) ~ lol. I dated a guy once who had quite the porn collection but swore up and down he never looked at it (said it was 'from the past'), yet the porn tapes were always in the vcr, and anytime I tried to type in an address on the pc, 50 porn sites popped up, and the history for the day was nothing but porn sites!
Purrsonally, I see nothing wrong with porn on ocassion. As it's been stated, I'd rather he do that than go out and find it somewhere else for real! It's not like that magazine, or that video is a threat to me.
>>^..^<<
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/29/2007 7:15:58 AM |
Here is something I have always wondered about porn. If you work in the porn industry and you are at work and your boss comes by your desk, do you have to hide the porn you were looking at on your computer?
HAHA!!! No, 3rd....I believe that would fall under the "Research" and "utilizing resources"...they'd probably get a raise for being so dedicated....HAHA!!! RAISE!!!! I slay me! | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/29/2007 7:29:22 AM | im going to guess that their not happy and confident in themselves to allow him to watch what they long to be like (low self esteem). could be wrong im not like that so just assuming.
my partner has his net site he visits watching cams and i have mine to go to. i also subscribe to playboy and oh the collection but really i read more than him. im not afraid for him to see thinner/beautiful people because im a treasured goddess lol and im not worried about him moving on if he found some cutie for if he is happy so be it shoot i know where to start healing at lol.
hubby is guessing jealousy/control is a big part as well. | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/29/2007 7:35:10 AM | well here is my probem with it....
1. porn now is not the same porn as before when it was people just having sex....now i find it a lot more disturbing and humiliating as there is violence against women...gang rape porn , kiddie porn etc etc. i find to be extremely disturbing.
2. next i find it shows perfect women with perfect bodies and fake body parts all over the place...it is a little disturbing to me when i am standing there thinking i am pretty and then you see these girls in porn and you know you can never look that good or measure up physically...kind of makes you wonder bout yourself.
3. then there is the whole idea of your bf needing to look at other women to satisfy himself...this goes back to the whole what is the matter with me thought, and how come i am not enough.
4. next you can be thinking...o.k so he looks at other naked women...how long is it going to be before videos and pictures are no longer enough and he needs to go out and actually screw someone else to get the same effect.
5. some people used the whole comparing it to sex toys women use...you can't compare an inanimate object to an actual human being...it's apples and oranges people.
6. looking at a person that walks by you on the street that actually has clothes on because you think they are attractive is completely different than ACTIVELY seeking out a naked person that is having sex...once again apples and oranges
7. if your partner doesnt turn you on all on their own i think you need to address that issue yourselves because it wont go away by placing a band aid over the issue by watching porn. to me it just says something is wrong and needs to be looked at if my partner doesnt turn me on.
i just don't understand...HELP ME PEOPLE!!!
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/29/2007 7:50:08 AM | As far as I'm concerned, if I have someone I am really attracted to, there's no need for porn.
We'll manage perfectly fine on our own, thank you very much.
Plus I agree with the poster who said before that the vast majority of porn is more disgusting rather than a turn-on, things get pretty, umh, weird when you go anywhere past Playboy, especially if this is European or Asian porn.
A lot of that stuff is just plain gross and nothing else. | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/29/2007 7:58:19 AM | Wow...Waidh, you really don't understand...and it's nothing we can help you understand...it's something you have to step outside of your box to see....
1. No one was talking about the obscure fetish porn here...discussion was in regards to relatively average porn. People who get off on the violence/raping/pedophilia have completely different bags of issues. AVERAGE porn is still people turning each other on and having sex...in all the various positions and arrangements possible.
2. Most of the stars DON'T have perfect bodies - most have cheap implants that ripple when they lay on their backs, or stretched out steak-ums (floppy lips for those unaware of that terminology - which is arguably hereditary and not due to over-use)...there's plenty of porn stars who aren't completely thin either...shoot, many even are very vocal about how much surgery they've had and what work it's taken to get to the look they have - Asia Carrera...awesome chica...she's even a member of Mensa. Hell, there's hardly a normal movie star in Hollywood who hasn't had *something* done to keep their perfect youthful appearance....do you boycott normal movies because they're portraying a fake external appearance to sell to young women?
3 & 4. This is where you don't quite get it....he's not looking at porn because you don't turn him on....no human being is going to be instantly converted to only looking at one person for the rest of their lives...it's impossible...we're not wired that way....It's natural to look - it's a COMPLETELY different ballgame to act on those attractions. Aside from that, some people (many, actually) get aroused by seeing others having sex...it's called voyeurism. If your man got a little excited seeing animals have sex, would you be afraid he was going to run out and start molesting collies? No, that's a huge jump. Same thing. Apples and apples....just different trees.
5 & 6. Again, apples and apples - different trees. The men see porn as an inanimate and unattainable thing....they aren't secretly desiring to be with those people on the screen - it's the act that gets people going (men or women)....just as the woman and her toy aren't going to go off and start a relationship without the guy....it's an inanimate unattainable thing. I think - if I weren't confident in my own relationship with the guy - that I'd be more threatened by him checking out random chick on the street clothed than by watching anonymous star on screen that he has no chance of getting with....but that whole scenario is a deeper issue with the self-confidence and trust issues within the relationship and not so much with the topic of porn, now isn't it?
7. This goes back to 3&4 - voyeurism...it's a common thing. Many people get turned on by watching others having sex, and it enhances - not replaces - the desires for each other....others also get off on exhibitionism....the chance that someone will see them having sex...these are all relatively normal fetishes and behaviors that most of society will try to hide or deny....it's not healthy to deny things like this - it leads to resentment and other issues....finding a proper way to include these desires (because you would want to help please your partner, right?) in legal ways - not bringing in the topic of random exposure here - is the most healthy way to approach the topic. People in this country are too prude...talk about your desires and needs...it should be a combined effort to try and make sure each other is pleased....if he likes porn and it gets him off, offer to watch with him...maybe he'll be even more turned on by that...if he says "no honey, wait til it's over"...then that's a porn-addiction and a different subject entirely. | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/29/2007 8:27:46 AM | i have tried to understand ...omg have i tried.
i just cant...i tried to watch a porn once and i actually started crying...it upset me (i'm not sure why...still trying to figure it out)
i don't get offended at all when a guy i am with looks as a pretty girl walks by...that has never bothered me...it does bug me when he looks at naked girls.
watching a real movie and watching porn is not comparable...apples and oranges...and who said anything about boycotting...let's not exagerate.
if someone got turned on by animals having sex that is pretty ****ed up and yes i would worry...there is also porn of people having sex with animals...or in your extensive porn watching career have you not come across this? how surprising.
i don't know what else to say....
now i'm even more confused about this porn fascination than before i posted
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/29/2007 8:46:39 AM | It sounds more like you're just not of the same mind...find someone who shares your views on the whole porn issue or he's just going to hide it and still have those desires...it's not a switch you can turn off...
Real movie stars do just as much to damage the image of how a woman *should* look as porn stars....just because they have clothes on most of the time doesn't make it any different. I, personally, think the porn stars look less realistic than some of the movie stars who are going for the anorexic look lately and trying to pass it off as fashionable....then there's also the whole editing process where they get rid of any blemishes or things the marketing people won't deem as attractive....ever seen the Dove commercial? Quite interesting, really: http://youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U
Obviously, in my "extensive" knowledge, I've heard of the bestiality porn - it's not a normal thing...wasn't trying to say it was...was using it as an example of how absurd of a leap it is to think that watching unattainable people having sex on a screen is the next step to running out and cheating on a person. Talk about apples and oranges.
If it doesn't suit you, find someone with like morals and ideals...don't try to force someone to live to your standards, though....it doesn't work. | |
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| Why do girls really care about this?
Posted: 8/29/2007 9:02:00 AM | | upon reading more let me state really good old fashion porn is good and actually we just watch live cams or basic porn on the pc. i would have to put my foot down if it was amoung kids/sick/disturbing porn. i must have been away from the videos for awhile and it changed lol. i do see some wierd stuff on cams but i can click them away and to be honest since internet not sat and watched porn in years. keep it clean and limited and its good for the relationship. | |
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