eman07
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 226 | |
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/26/2007 11:50:12 AM |
How about this one....met a guy on here..and he truely expected me to drive 150 miles which would have been half way for both of us, caused he wanted......
not that uncommon.....how long were you talking to him?.....did you not know he lived 300 miles away from you?.....so some driving was gonna be involved at some point?...whether it be now....or later?......you act like you talked to him for 5 minutes and all of a sudden he was like...hey...drive here....lets meet up ...150 miles between us.....your leaving details out of the story....
Now it is one thing to say you are looking for a intimate encounter and message someone with the same interest, but his profile says "long term"....yeah right!
so...if he would have drove 300miles to meet you, all of a sudden he isnt looking for a piece of ass?......just because he asks you to meet him half way doesnt all of a sudden mean he isnt looking for long term.....
look, I will drive 1-2 hours to meet someone if i feel some sort of connection, but hell, if im not sure, asking them to meet half way isnt really that much to ask. It doesnt make me "cheap"....it doesnt make less of a man, it just makes me cautious thats all......
the point is, the op knew she was talking to someone who was far away, so if distance was an issue, then why did she even start the conversation if it was gonna be a problem later?.......then she turns around and said the distance along with just an offer of "coffee" was the issue....which means as long as he is paying for a dinner or lunch then distance isnt an issue....... | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/26/2007 3:53:41 PM |
Msg 228: How about this one....met a guy on here..and he truely expected me to drive 150 miles which would have been half way for both of us, caused he wanted...... [TO PEEL HIS BANANA] So are we to assume this is an even more attractive offer than driving X miles for coffee? Will you have that with or without cream? | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/26/2007 4:05:15 PM | I've been reading this thread from the beginning (yes its been a quiet day here for me. LOL) and i have to say, this is better than like day time television..with a twist of Springer tossed in, i'm just waiting for the cat fights to start!! good grief.
Well, with the cost of gas these days..I would be offering to meet someone half way if the connection was felt, i'd feel guilty as heck if I didn't offer! Coffee can be a great starter too, and with the wonderful weather lately it could have turned into a coffee to go, nice long walk, great conversation, empty cups mean empty hands and possibly a little hand holding along the way..omg i am dirty minded i know!!
the point i'm trying to make is this...simple beginnings can evolve into fantastic endings..try to have fun and keep things light, its when people get too serious and dig in thier heels that others start to run. Hey...we're single for a reason right. haha. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/26/2007 5:07:14 PM | | i think this is ridiculous. I'm not high standard, I'm not expecting people to do anything for me as some people have stated to the Op. This is just not common. Not common at all. Who does that??? Come on we are worthy of a little more then that. I already know I don't want to date a guy who thinks I should do all for him and he does little for me. And on a first date. I have drove 12 hours to see someone for 3 but that was love not crazy ultimatums. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:49:54 PM | Oh maverick mechanic.....
Are you mad at me for something?
I noticed in your profile that you said..." I JUST WANT SOMEONE WHO ISN'T AFRAID TO SPEAK HER MIND AND BE HERSELF"
Now all of a sudden you have changed your mind and feel you have to insult someone who speaks her mind???
I guess you are one of those coffee cads !
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/26/2007 8:00:36 PM | Coffee cad ?
In other words if a person wants the first meet to be over coffee then they are a cad?
In other words you are one of those so-called ladies that a coffee meet isn't good enough for?
So if someone wants to meet you then they had better make the FIRST meet a dinner date?
So tell me something what are you going to do when the first meet at a dinner date isn't going the way YOU think it should? Pull a dine-n-dash like some school girl?
If it isn't going well for you then it is likely not going well for the other person either. Although by some of your threads a person gets the distinct impression that you don't care how the meet is going for the other person. For you it is all about ME ME ME.
Well welcome to cads r us! | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/26/2007 8:20:42 PM | I totally agree with you Astreaa, and your decision was a wise one. A one way wanting to meet usually would not end up very well. i.e. He wanted to meet you and you did not really want to meet him. Also, a meeting from a distance like that should be a flexible one, you wanted lunch, why was that an issue for him? The guy must have had issues, or was very poor, or was already in a relationship and didn’t want anyone seeing him having lunch with another woman. All in all I think that you covered your a$$ well, good job.
On the flip side, I would have agreed with others here if it had been a local contact, or he had met you in your town. I personally do not think that a meal is a good first contact. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/26/2007 8:30:13 PM | To the OP
If driving that far "Just for a cup of coffee" is too far, then maybe you should state on your POF that distance is a major issue..
Just a though... But I can understand where spending $20.00 for gas does not equal the $5.00 cup of java !! Well unless you've been talking for a little while and know that you're interested..
Ems.. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/26/2007 8:32:44 PM | I've driven a couple of hours each way for afirst time meetings and didn't mind doing it at all. We met half way between us and had lunch. If he had suggested meeting for coffee, I would have thought it an odd request, but made sure that where we met served food so that I could have lunch myself, even if he didn't.
There was once that turned own such an arrangement becuase I just didn't feel like doing it, but that was not the norm. It had been a very tiring couple of weeks of travel for family functions and all I wanted was to stay home.
I see it as an adventure, and that's from someone who hates driving.
Rae | |
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ddream
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Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 237 | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/26/2007 9:59:01 PM | "Maybe he's too scared to go eat with you after your last thread"
Maybe he was just a selfish jerk.
That would be MY guess ;)
"This was to be a first meeting and if I am going to monopolize my Saturday with meeting someone and drive over an hour I would think a dinner or lunch would be more worth my time and energy"
That's reasonable. A first meeting is a 'meet and greet' ... he could at LEAST come half way, or let you come in for lunch or dinner. I still think he's a selish jerk.
 ... next!! :) | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/26/2007 11:28:23 PM | Well, I don't see 60 miles being a big deal, even for coffee. But I don't see why it couldn't have been more than a coffee meet...like lunch or something. And why it HAD to be early on a Saturday morning. Doesn't he have any other free time? Especially for someone he might be interested in dating? Personally, if it were me, I'd offer to drive the 150 miles myself to where YOU live and spend more time than a coffee break with you. At a more reasonable hour of the day, even.  | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/26/2007 11:31:54 PM | Well, I don't see 60 miles being a big deal, even for coffee. But I don't see why it couldn't have been more than a coffee meet...like lunch or something. And why it HAD to be early on a Saturday morning. Doesn't he have any other free time? Especially for someone he might be interested in dating? Personally, if it were me, I'd offer to drive the 150 miles myself to where YOU live and spend more time than a coffee break with you. At a more reasonable hour of the day, even.
As it is, I travelled 9 hours (over 600 miles) to meet a girl for the first time. She drove about 6. Then when I drove to visit her in her hometown it was a 12 hour drive. As far as I'm concerned it was totally worth it. I'd do the 12 hour drive again even if i was just for a long weekend.  (Oh, and she's going to be making the 12 hour trip to visit me in a couple months.) | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/26/2007 11:45:29 PM | Hey Ho - with you on this one.
It is not realistic to drive for hours, get stuck in traffic, for this cup of coffee, in a crowded cafe, which lasts what 15 mins at most.
WHAT IS THIS 'CUP OF COFFEE MEET' was it mentioned on TV or something.
How can you possibly form an opinion or even truely meet someone if you dont get the time to take your coat off, or am I being stupid here.
I am no oil painting, just an honest woman here looking for friends hoping for THAT CERTAIN PERSON, but I am sure 100% that I am not going to meet someone and fall for them in 15 mins.
The funniest offer of a meeting place I was offered, by way of it not going to happen:- was a railway station in Birmingham (about five hours from where I live) and Taunton railway station car park, (an hour and a half from where I live), needless to say didnt go to either and told them why too.
SECURITY AND SAFETY AT ALL TIMES FOR MEN AND WOMEN. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/27/2007 5:12:07 AM |
hmmmm.. I've driven over 100 miles to meet someone.. So doesn't sound to strange to me, however it is weird that he asks you to do the driving... LOL
No he just wanted her to meet him half way.
Now as far as why just coffee as some of you have asked? The purpose is to meet the other person, it isn't about what you are going to be doing. The reason most want a quick meeting such as over coffee is so that if either party feels incompatible a person dosen't have to try to get through a longer period of time with someone that they just flat don't care fpr. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/27/2007 6:06:30 AM | wow 10 pages.... I only read the first 5 but what struck me is the use of the words "cheapskate" and "show me a nice time". The first time you meet someone is NOT a date. Its a "meet and greet"...to see if they really do look like their pic and are who they say they are. There should be no obligation to show anyone a good time etc ...
If you don't want to be doing any driving then don't talk to someone who lives further than 25 miles from you. Some people drive an hour to work every day so driving that distance for coffee is not a big issue. It amazes me in this day and age that women still think men are obligated to "show them a nice time" when they haven't even met before. If and when he is your boyfriend then maybe he will FEEL like showing you a nice time but right now he has no feelings one way or the other. It has nothing to do with him being a cheapskate. He owes you nothing except his time. He is driving halfway so why not you too?
I remember one guy telling me he drove 2 hours to meet a woman in her hometown....she took one look at him and said "oh no, this isn't going to work" and turned around and left and he had to drive 2 hours again home feeling like a total loser. 4 hours for her just to reject him. Sheesh. The least people can do is meet halfway and have a coffee. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/27/2007 7:12:45 AM | STILL WANT TO KNOW WHAT CAN YOU FIND OUT ABOUT A PERSON IN FIFTEEN MINUTES OVER A CUP OF COFFEE
HAS ANYONE DONE IT AND FOUND LOVE  OR WAS IT A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME. 
And this seems to be an international thread, where people do live five hours apart, sorry to all of you, I am from england, where it takes five hours to travel one end of the island to the other.  | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/27/2007 7:21:51 AM | ^^^ who says its 15 minutes? Most "meet & greets" I have been on were at least an hour if not two. Its not a waste of time to see if you feel some kind of spark of attraction and then make a decision to take it to a different level with an evening date or a day out together. A couple of coffee dates actually turned into a day long because we decided we wanted to spend more time together.
On the other hand, you can meet someone and realise there really is no spark. It's funny but no one is ever exactly how you imagined they would be from a pic. When you see someone up close and personal, its always a little different. | |
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| Coffee locations
Posted: 4/27/2007 7:33:31 AM | Is a cup of coffee facing
a) the Athens Parthenon or the Roman Colloseum or the Paris Eiffel Tower
b) just another crowd of ppl in Smallquare Middleville
of the same travel value? | |
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| Coffee locations
Posted: 4/27/2007 7:48:55 AM | | So...the poor guy was supposed to drive three hours one way only to have (and you KNOW the OP would have done this IMO) her reject him for being "blue collar", a "cheapskate" and not "showing her a good time". Hmmm...for a first meeting that seems a bit unfair. And while were at it I think meeting for coffee could certainly have turned into lunch and more time together had the OP not deemed fairness a "ridiculous request". | |
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