| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/29/2007 7:58:02 PM | I drove an hour and a half to meet a guy. He and I had been talking on the phone for almost two weeks after some great emails. He had also seen at least 10-15 pictures of me. When I met him, he told me he'd be right back. (we met on a city corner, in front of a coffee shop and a bank). I thought maybe he had to feed the meter or check his car. I stood there for 5 min. before I realized he wasn't returning. I called his cell phone and he hung up on me. So I called quite a few more times and he finally answered. Said I didn't look like my pictures. What a creep!  Unbelievable! Then to top it off, he phoned me a few weeks later, asking me who I was. ( my number was still in his phone). I told him I was the girl who didn't look like her pictures. He did not laugh. I did!
I didn't think it was unreasonable to drive that far because I was really digging this guy. Would I do it again? It depends. I think perhaps the OP wasn't feeling it with this guy. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/29/2007 8:54:41 PM | Well, as for driveling...I have always done all of it. but in my defense its really nice to get out on my motorcycle and head out to new towns...though anything over 4hr or 300km is not really worth it for just coffee as your butt's about numb...you have to have a bagel with cream cheese too :P he he
and yes i have driven up to 400+km's to meet for coffee, but in my defense the nearest town was over 200km away. before i moved out to the island....now i'm just new to the pond here.
Though it would be nice for girls to make an effort to meet guys now and then. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/30/2007 8:18:13 AM | " where did that come from???? A cup of coffee lasts about fifteen minutes max, or was he thinking that there is an endless supply of coffee somewhere that the cup keeps refilling if you fancy someone but just empties if there is no spark."
I wrote that Loz.
What I am saying is that if you connect with someone, the date doesn't necessarily end at the coffee shop. I have been on dates for dinner, that ended up at a lounge, then a walk on the boardwalk.
If I drank that much coffee (enough for the whole day), you would have to call an ambulance (or get my jittery butt into a straight jacket). | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/30/2007 8:35:28 AM | | Idont mind driving to meet someone and i dont mind paying for my meal but 60 miles is a bit of a long way just for a coffee i agree with you as you were driving that far at least you would want to have dinner together or like you say lunch And any way if you do it once hed expect you to do the driving all the time carol | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/30/2007 9:25:52 AM | JMO JMO JMO
There is no reason to expect anymore than maybe coffee and if you hit it off maybe lunch or dinner. I do not think he has any reason to apologise to the OP
and........ I would guess he found the OP a bit selfish and self centered. This probably confirmed it. I also thin posting a thread on it is very rude and attention seeking.If you knew how you felt about it , move on and look for someone closer.
Where I come from we drive an hour without blinking , we drive this far to shop and often to meet or take kids to friends ..etc... | |
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eman07
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 357 | |
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/30/2007 10:02:04 AM |
Idont mind driving to meet someone and i dont mind paying for my meal but 60 miles is a bit of a long way just for a coffee i agree with you as you were driving that far at least you would want to have dinner together or like you say lunch And any way if you do it once hed expect you to do the driving all the time carol
Did you read the whole post?.......I find it funny that some people find it ok to drive 60 miles for dinner, but as soon as the word "coffee" comes up...all of a sudden he is a selfish self centered **stard that has no regard for any women's wishes or desires.
so if i have this correct, if HE would have driven to HER 120 miles for coffee, then that is ok....but as soon as princess has to get in her car and meet HALFWAY...all of a sudden he is wrong?
If the op wants to be treated like a princess, and is high maintence, that is her, and i am not hating her for it......but my only question is when she started talking to the guy, she knew he was 120 miles away, so if distance was an issue, then dont even talk to him....personally i dont think the op really even liked the guy, then as soon as he did something "wrong" she jumped on it and made him look bad....personally there is only one person that looks bad.....but hey...you deciede.......lol | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/30/2007 4:13:41 PM | Translation:
As the writer of "clear gender divide"- let me explain what that means to me- I don't want men who act like little boys
and hide behind women, more emotionally than any other way. I am a woman, not their mother. It's a clearly different
relationship. Too many mothers indulge the sons so that we must adhere to their needs- I do not feel this way. Other
mothers haven't treated their sons this way- I prefer mothers that were able to let go more.
that's all- | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/30/2007 7:50:03 PM | OIC. Thank you blanche dubois. I have seen that in men. Maybe fear of the world gets to them and mom is the only sure safe place to go? Just a guess though.
Story time again:
My first memories were of being a hip baby, all day long everyday I was on mom’s hip. But then I also remember when my mom pushed me away ‘emotionally’. I was sitting in my highchair while my mom was feeding be breakfast, it was some nasty hot cereal with dry lumps in it. I looked at my mom and said ‘I don’t like that’, it was a little slurry being my first words and all, and it was one of those moments where time froze. My mom just sat there for a few seconds staring at the spoon, then put the spoon into the bowl, stood up and walked away. lol I was sitting there thinking to myself ‘Oh great, what the he11 do I do now’, well, not in those words, but that was my thought. She came back after a few minutes and cleared the bowl and let me down, but from that point on she was super distant. I was no longer a hip baby and my mom turned her attention to soap operas and daydreams. I think that is why I try to keep my mouth shut most of the time, and I still can’t stand hot cereal. lol Who knew? | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/30/2007 9:18:40 PM |
if you know of any 'safe places' in life- please advise..
I wouldn’t know what to do for them. They are looking for safe harbor, a little TLC. But from what I understand, is that when they get it, they are up and off again. How do you give advice on that one? Let them figure it out on their own I guess. I have no clue. My sister has two little boys and they do the exact same thing, they get scared or hurt, run to mom, instantly feel better, and then run off to play like it had never happened. There are a lot of people out there that feel overpowered by the world, always wondering what to do, and no one has answers for them. It is a problem in our society, and I am working on it, but I don’t have any answers yet.
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 5/1/2007 5:24:52 PM | I'm not speaking for everyone ...but for me ...i would drive ...fly...bus...hitch hike...take the train....fly to the moon ...hot air balloon...WHATEVER.....if i am truly interested in this person and we're meeting for the first time...WHATVER IT TAKES BABY.......coffee..cream ...sugar...donuts...lunch ...dinner.....just give me the time and place...and i would probably show up on time... | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 5/1/2007 9:31:14 PM | So wait...driving the 60 miles...would that be to the halfway point or would you be driving to go see him? If it was the halfway point, then think about the effort that he is also putting in. By the sounds of things, that extra 15 miles makes it even for both of you, and 60 miles would mean that he was driving farther than you. (This is only if I read your posts correctly.)
If you're driving most of the way then that's just ridiculous. Personally I would like to see a guy at LEAST meet me halfway, and it would be NICE if he was chivalrous and made a little extra effort for me. Not that I'm expecting it, but it would certainly be a nice surprise.
I personally don't think that I would travel more than an hour to see someone, just because even if we were to get involved long distance relationships are REALLY tough.
As far as the "coffee" issue goes...if you go out for coffee and realise that the guy/ girl is a TOTAL weirdo, you can thank them for the time and be well on your way...but "coffee" can turn into "hey, let's go grab a bite to eat" or, "why don't we get our coffees to go and have a nice leisurely lunch". Coffee is open ended, whereas a meal with a personal in whom you have absolutely NO interest can be PAINFUL.
I think you need to consider things from his perspective...however if he truly is asking you to go out of your way for him in an unrealistic manner, find yourself a new guy. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 5/1/2007 9:41:32 PM | My experience was almost as bad....but, he wasn't wanting to drive at all.
After speaking on the telephone five (5) times, it was the first meeting and he wanted me to drive over 60 miles on a Saturday, stay over Saturday and Sunday night and drive back on a Monday! He was an airline pilot and he would have to start getting ready for his next duty schedule that Monday..blah blah... I would have a hotel bill (as I couldn't even fathom that he intended that I stay with him at his place) the gas expenses and all the commute time...but I was offered dining and being shown around. I couldn't believe this man's expectations. There must be something wrong with me, as I felt it was first, totally inappropriate and lastly insanely dangerous!!! | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 5/1/2007 11:48:05 PM | Sounds like she wanted more than just coffee. He should have asked her to meet at the Marriot, then they could get breakfest in bed along with the coffee :)
You should be able to get a good idea of who you are meeting through this site so that you can bear with them for, at least, a couple hours in person. If the person completely lied about themselves, then you can always just take off.
I remember one on here I wanted to meet halfway and it seemed ok.
Then she got sick all of a sudden, prob the same reasoning going on.
Perhaps, guys should always offer to meet in the woman's town, then there is
no issue.
I think a good woman is harder to come by than a good man so its
prob worthwhile for the guy to put forth more effort.
-RF | |
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