ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 26 | |
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 9:12:47 PM | What about meeting half way? I am not familiar with the area up there, but surely there's some sort of cafe or coffee shop in-between. I know I'd suggest half way.
Several years ago, I remember when I drove 2.5 hours to meet a fella in East Texas. Trust me, on this meeting, I wished it'd only been coffee. I had packed a picnic lunch. What got my goat, it wasn't the drive, but the guy was a total slob. We'd just finished the chicken and potato salad, he's burping away. Way too much for my taste. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 9:14:02 PM | ibechuck..
Guess Im wondering why the *Coffee date* couldntve turned INTO a Lunch/Dinner or whatever date... Or was that already established by the *ground rules*.
I was wondering the same thing, maybe he thought a coffee sounded better first meeting if you two didn't connect, if you did he had planned on a dinner or lunch, maybe an afternoon of it. if not I would have waited until I met him , and if you liked him suggest a lunch, even if you were buying.To me it's not a big thing if you were interested in meeting him. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 9:25:37 PM | I am not sure why lots of ppl criticized the purpose of OP when she was hesitating about meeting this guy...She gotta drive 60 miles in her day off and all she will get is some lousy coffee date ..it's just not fair!!! Gas is increasing and not to mention her effort to drive there (unless she loves to drive and mentioned it in her profile that she would drive anywhere anytime)
Sorry if I am wrong, but I am all about fairness, and if you cant think of better things to do with a woman who is willing to drive one hour and 15 mins on your first meeting (which, who knows, might turn out to be not satisfying) I think you are asking too much ....  | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 9:28:13 PM | O.K. lets see here - Your 49 years old and single. I classify you as a mature adult.
I believe there are two points you are making in your statement as an adult:
1st
To elaborate.....
This was to be a first meeting and if I am going to monopolize my Saturday with meeting someone
So you must be a very busy women on Saturdays and have no time for anyone else.
2nd
and drive over an hour I would think a dinner or lunch would be more worth my time and energy.
So like you think this guy owes you something for your driving time?
Do you think your statement about your feelings will attact more men to you?
When I wanted to meet someone special I have taken the time to drive 180 miles, each way on a Saturday, to see someone I wanted to know better. When we went out to dance we split the cost for drinks, because that was the way she wanted it. She was insistant and I respected her feelings on the matter, even though I told her I wanted to pick up the drinks. I believe she respected the fact that I had taken the time and gas expence to drive the distance to meet her. She wanted to be fair with me and I have a great respect for her stance.
Do you want a life partner or not?
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 11:59:00 PM |
To elaborate.....
This was to be a first meeting and if I am going to monopolize my Saturday with meeting someone and drive over an hour I would think a dinner or lunch would be more worth my time and energy.
exactly i feel the same... sweet N Louisiana ( thats what i would expect too) | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 4:33:23 AM | Mr. Creative,
As you can see...eating is NOT a priority of mine.
I am sure he would have expected ME to pay , (which I would never !!!)....because he also asked me if I had a house and was looking for a roommate as he was selling his house and since he was in some type of blue collar union was looking to move anywhere !!
As you can see there were alot of other reasons why the request was totally out of line...
Shall we say CHEAPSKATE..boys and girls ???
Don't know about other women but I hate a cheap guy !
Also...I am single right now because I have found noone that I CHOOSE to be with and I can definately take care of myself and my family.....
I applaud the guys and women who have agreed with me.... | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:44:28 AM |
It would not be WHERE you go but WHO you are with !!!!
Hey Astreaa , I hope you recognise that quote.. it's from your profile in the "First Date" section... a little more idealistic than realistic perhaps ? 
I applaud the guys and women who have agreed with me...
Ahh! So the reason for posting here is not to interact with others and get various points of view and see whether your own viewpoint may be a little myopic or lop-sided, but rather the purpose is to accumulate as many people as possible who agree with you ? Well then honestly hun you didn't need to post at all, did you ? 
Have a great Saturday in 2 days time ! LOL
Wazza.  | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 34 | |
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:55:06 AM | Peacefulwlife message 25: I agree with her.
I'd RATHER drive to meet for coffee. Sure...ok...lunch would be ok too. But coffee would be jsut finnnnnnnnne. To me the SHORTER the obligation to stick around this unknown person is the better for me. As the minutes and hours tick on and on...if we enjoy the company we just extend it to a full day together. If we don't enjoy it.....then END it.
To me a dinner (and some lunches) that drag on would be a monopolization and waste of my time and weekend.
A short meeting on a saturday MORNING is PERFECT for me.....if it ends quickly then I still have a whole weekend to enjoy on my own. If he's super-cool then we have an entire day to hang out together.
Guess we're all different, eh?
What a pond. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:18:31 AM | I think he should be thanking you for not becoming a part of his life.
Your reaction to the suggestion says more about you than his suggestion does about him. It's one thing to think something is unfair. It's another to actually become offended to the point you feel you need to gather support to ridicule his suggestion publicly.
If someone's actions or behaviour hit a nerve in you this badly, perhaps you should be less judgemental and critical of them, and have a better look at yourself. The real problem is often a lot closer to home. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:27:29 AM | I would have driven an hour for coffee...if I really liked the guy.
and then I would hope my dazzling smile and spontaneous personality would
have made him want to extend it to lunch...then maybe an afternoon doing
something we both liked...then maybe dinner.
at the very least I would consider it a roadtrip.
I figure everyone is worth a chance...and what the heck...I have plenty of time to be on here I guess...whats one Saturday morning?
but thats just my opinion.
(I hope I don't sound desperate)
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:41:45 AM | 2 hrs out of your whole life,thats all I have to say...
I think you should write that in your profile,that your saturdays are precious to you and you will not waste your time on meeting anyone more than 30 min away,especially if it is just for a coffee.
Maybe he thought his saturdays were more precious than yours.
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 39 | |
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:48:13 AM | I think the guy should have put a little more thought into the meeting OP , The distance that you're traveling should also be factored in. I think if he had suggested brunch and if you guys hit it off maybe spend the rest of the afternoon together before you drive back home.....Two and a half hours in a car on your day off is abit much just to go meet someone for a coffee.
The whole idea is really to meet the guy and make a possible connection but i still think he might have went along with your suggestion that you do something else besides coffee. I think that shows that he is not willing to comprimise and that tells something about him. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:58:54 AM | I just love the forums. Seems some people just are here to entertain us with things I can't believe they really want to discuss on here. Why do so many seek validation for their thinking and choices?
I have driven over an hour to meet someone in their territory. I have done it more than a few times. One time I was stood up. I had one man come to me and it was a 3 hour drive! He paid for the whole date too! I offered to meet halfway, he said no. He said it was the man's duty to do so. Who really cares though what I think or have experienced as far as another deciding what to do???
It's all about BOTH of you and EACH of yours preferences. Like what is offered? Fine. Don't? Then fine also. Does this need to be asked on here? Does it really make ANY difference what is said? Some people are so darn nit-picky it is a wonder they will ever get a date, let alone handle a long term relationship with all their demands and fussiness!
Now for me, I learned long distance relationships aren't a good thing most the time, and it would take a lot for me to accept one again. But then, dating is also a learning process. I wouldn't come on here though and ask others what they thought about long distance relationships. What is good or bad for one person, isn't the same for others. We are all different. So, in the end, it is what is right for ME that is important. No amount of comments on here can change that. I need to know ME in order to know those things, not others opinions and comments on such to make the correct decision for ME.
As usual, with this and a ton of other things, discussed on here, use common sense, and follow your instincts and do what you will. But, remember, for every action, there is a reaction. For every action there are consequences. If you rope and tie all possibilities with endless restrictions, you aren't likely to get many results! Figure out what is REALLY important and go from there. Critical thinking is paramount!
Happy fishing everyone!
Linda | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 7:03:55 AM | hmmmm.......let me see.....
I flew twelve hundred miles to meet somebody for dinner.........just for dinner....nothing else...
It turned into a six year relationship.........
The sum of effort put in plus distance turned out to be greater than had I not invested the time and effort........And even if the relationship didn't work out for 'life'....it was still better than not doing it at all........Some of the greatest accomplishments of my life came as a result of an impulse to meet somebody for dinner.........
Maybe one day, one of those smart, successful, 'independent' women sorts will consider men to be worthy of such risks, instead of living by their 'double standards' that favor only them when they go from 'old fashioned' to 'independent biatch' in two point two seconds.......... sitting in their small town USA's reading Cosmo, watching Oprah, complaining about men in forums, always choosing the wrong ones, and expecting everything to just fall out of the sky....... | |
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BayOne
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Joined: 2/15/2007
Msg: 43 | |
| I would ride a riding lawnmower however many miles if I liked a women. (in the rain and snow )...
Posted: 4/19/2007 7:17:09 AM | | I'm actually going to have to say that I agree with him...and an hour is NOT a long time IF you really like someone...otherwise what's the point. In the San Franisco Bay Area, it takes everyone an hour to get practically anywhere....If I were dating and a man was not willing to drive an hour to meet me on his day off, I would think that, for one, he is kind of lazy and, two, why would I want to be with somene who "already" can't be bothered to treat me like I'm special.... | |
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BayOne
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Joined: 2/15/2007
Msg: 44 | |
| As you can see there were alot of other reasons why the request was totally out of line...
Posted: 4/19/2007 7:23:05 AM | But you didn't list these "other" reasons when you originally posted.....Had you , then perhaps, lots of responses, inlcuding mine, would have been different. BTW- If this guy has so many issues why has the online relationship gotten as far as meeting? Also, why would you applaud only people who agree with you? Wouldn't the entire point be to get varying opionions?
Bay | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 8:45:22 AM | Steelcowboy, "what kind of coffee?) If it was one of those Starbucks frapachino things,with the whip cream, and the caramell drizelled over the top,and the,,,,sorry think I need to go to the kitchen freezer now. ", you are talking fact now.
I do not live near a Starbucks, but some of thier coffee's-oh yes -or Nordstrom's at Shortpump mall in Richmond has this great lil coffee shop attached.
Now, I am gazing at my plain ground bean coffee..............life could be better hahaha. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 9:08:24 AM | | Wow, 60 miles just for coffee??? LOL he may as well as said drive a 1000 miles!!! If I am going to make a woman drive that far I would at least have her spend a whole day with me and have a date to remember and I would also pay for her gas too! | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 9:21:29 AM | | Good for you Smiley, chivalry is not dead. As for that coffee, for a sixty mile drive it better be Starbucks white chocholate mocha, light whip, and as many cups as I can get drink without getting completely wired so I'm not bouncing off the walls. | |
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