| |
| |
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 6/18/2008 3:23:35 PM | Yup, 21 pages, over a year old, are a lot to read. But, I think the same problems still exist today. I posted on Msg. 480, almost one year ago....After re-reading it, my thoughts have not changed.
Perhaps some of you may wish to go back to the page where Msg. 480 is and see what I had to say at that time. (If I can find the page, I will post it here.
Knittin Kitten
And, by the way, I traveled at least that amount of mileage, to spend a day with someone whom I had already met (I believe here on POF) and, ended up getting in the car and returning home, within less than an hour....why? because, even though it had been agreed upon prior to my taking the drive, I refused to get in bed with him.....
Ironically, he messaged me the other day, asking how I was....my reply to him was polite, but it was clear that I was doing fine without him.
Sincerely,
Knittin kitten | |
|
| |
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 6/18/2008 4:50:44 PM | Oh I met a guy like that on here... he was wanting me to drive 80 miles for a date and not even ask to meet half-way! Then he complained saying ... yes bet you got all kinds of
excuses you lazy ass as to why you dont want to drive up to see me .. and named all the excuses HE'S gotten from women who dont want to drive...
YES the man has a car and he has money --- so its not like he's broke or in the hospital
or whatever... now THAT is cheapskate city-- I tell you-- I really know how
to pick em'! | |
|
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 6/18/2008 4:51:10 PM | Actualized: I of course meant "eloquent" and yes, we all make typos.
"throw the money around and women shall follow. MONEY&SEX are inseparable because people keep forcing a connection between the two."
So, what exactly is your problem here?
Koko-roo is a fast food chain. And I'm paying for myself, a whole $10.00 for a whole meal. So, do you think I was impressed by that? Are you serious? He was kidding too. What a $50.00 offer is going to make me salivate? Do you think I'am on food stamps?
I think momark is funny and yes, very ELOQUENT.
Oh, I see, nobody here thinks you are. Is that it? So, not so actualized after all, ah?
 | |
|
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 6/18/2008 6:41:18 PM |
throw the money around and women shall follow. MONEY&SEX are inseparable because people keep forcing a connection between the two.
brother, man, you ain't helping. Don't go all nutbar on us here like a few of the earlier people.. from a year ago who argued in the opposing direction.
money for most people is but a means. there are some people who do consider it an end. But not all.
It's a "means"- I will be enjoying myself too- good food ( although fast food esque- the place i mentioned wasn't bad and would suffice for a first meet. I picked it because I went there when I wanted some good carbs and protein. YOu can pick and choose your carbs/ protein separately the last time I was there.
WE probably would have gone there after a day at the beach swimming, running, biking, rollerblading or doing something fun like that. Maybe taken a class of some activity. yoga would have been nice or something along those lines. Maybe hit the weights before. Who knows.
Good food, good company, good conversation, good entertainment, a night on the town, dancing and enjoying oneself , shared with another person.
I am not tossing money around. It is meant to be used and not hoarded.
When it is my CHOICE and the OPTION is there, I will spend my money.
When it appears that it is EXPECTED of me with no consideration of my personal choice in the matter- that is when I cringe.
No man wants to be played for a fool. That's the catch-
I don't want hyenas or vultures to be on my tab.
There is another place that took over where Schatzi's on main used to be.. I think. anyway, there was good breakfast place near or around the health food store on the corner.
Correcting people's spelling errors is just crass and boorish. only social misfits do that. or people who lack common sense. shit happnes on an internet board and sometimes mistakes are made. Most people just let them go. For a number of reasons- none of which I am going to divulge to you.
now the thing for you to do is to accuse me of sucking up to the ladies.. trying to make myself look good for the women. you really should do that as this is what is to be expected.
You are a hostile guy brother... it' ain't latent. I can understand that. so in a way, your honesty is refreshing. inappropriate but at least you're not lying about who you are. as always, good luck with that.
Lalatina- if ever I am inSanta MOnica, I will give you shout. yes, I know, the odds of me being there anytime soon is between slim and none but I can still dream.
You can show me around the town- walking. not driving...lol.. Tell me,, what other restaurants are there that would be the next step above Ko Ko Roos. Dinner for two with a drink each for about 50 bucks? how about a good salsa club- where the regulars/locals go- not the tourists.. send me an email plz.... | |
|
| |
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:09:30 PM | agree /\ /\ /\ with .marc . Having someone TELL me what I HAVE to do with MY money in order to have the dubious pleasure of THEIR company just rubs many -some - people the wrong way.
the woman who described herself as someone who related money spent to chances of having sex with her couldn't possibly have thought that comment out before making it. She is one step away from what she was accused of being as she still retains the option of NOT having sex with the person. However, I don't believe that she came up with that. That thought never occurred to her. Yet if it did, then she would have to go down the road of NOT HAVING YOUR OPTIONS REMOVED and then HAVING YOUR CHOICE MADE FOR YOU.
If she argued that position- that she should still have the choice of who she had sex with, no matter how much they spent on her, then she would have to give credence to the men who said that THEY should still have the choice of who receives the benefit of their money-spending habits.
The way she described her tactics and thinking behind them - sounded more like a paid escort. She kept the option of not having sex with the person on the list from which to choose. So ,, it was all good in her mind.
i do believe that her strategy is a good one though- for her . It increases her enjoyment of life, given what she currently believes and how she currently thinks. I and many other people don't believe this and don't think the way she does so have to come up with a different strategy or code of conduct.
She seems perfectly happy with what is happening in her life. So it all works out.
I just thought it was kind of sad way of looking at things but different people's experiences lead them to make different choices.
and yes, oliver,, you can have more. "give this young chap more porridge... put more water in cauldron !"
Oh I met a guy like that on here... he was wanting me to drive 80 miles for a date and not even ask to meet half-way! Then he complained saying ... yes bet you got all kinds of excuses you lazy ass as to why you dont want to drive up to see me .. and named all the excuses HE'S gotten from women who dont want to drive...
YES the man has a car and he has money --- so its not like he's broke or in the hospital
or whatever... now THAT is cheapskate city-- I tell you-- I really know how
to pick em'!
this siht never happens in NB. The cities are an hour or two away but many people can simply meet up with whoever at the local coffee shop or diner, have a quick snack, talk to each other over coffee and cruise on off home afterwards.
or, if going to another city- you can meet anyone within 1.5 hours drive. I don't do the commute thing but if some people do, it's really no problem. GAs up here is 1.35 per litre so about 5.13/us gal. so it may be an issue for some people. It does mean for some people, the 20- 40 bucks for the return trip may be cost prohibitive. I bring up the gas issue because of the thread that is going on about it now.
well PB, if this is the type of person you keep running into ,, then.. well.. yes,,, it could be you. Aim a little higher. Look at yourself and why and how you are making your choices. You have said on these threads that you are shy and are going to spend your time 'getting to know men via email and chats " before you ever meet them.
at the time, I said that that method was a recipe for disaster. And it is. You will attract that certain type of guy who believes that you are desperate.
and these people surely have read your other threads /posts.
Just be careful as you come across as being somewhat innocent. I mean that in all sincerity. Being innocent or not having experienced much may be a good thing but it could be,,, could be leading you to disaster here. Just be careful..
So in this case PB, you are the common denominator. You may wish be more careful in your screening process. I do appreciate that your life situation is such that this is what you have come up with as being the best choice from the options that seemed to be available. This is your choice. I wish you luck but if you find yourself constantly complaining about it then you may want to rethink your decision. I say " constantly complaining based upon a number of things but the most obvious is y our comment of " i really know how to pick em".
So it may not have been the first as who complains about finding one nutbar? They are out there- many people have met at least one. Most people deal with it and move on unless it is a life changing event. | |
|
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:37:00 PM | Hahha, this post is hilarious.
Yeah ... I will be driving 60 miles to meet a man for a coffee, at 7:00AM?? ... THEN I drive another 15 miles because 'that would make halfway more equal'.
Wow, run like hell ... this guy doesn't have an ounce of chivalry in his blood.  | |
|
| |
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:33:02 PM | Interesting, looks like this thread has been going strong for over a year.
Here is my take: Here are two people who were totally lukewarm about each other.
Him: I'll invite her over, have a quick coffee, see what she is like in person. If I like her maybe I'll suggest she stay for lunch, we'll take it from there. If not, well, only a couple of hours wasted.
Her: My Saturday is more valuable than this guy. I want to sleep in. Hey, if I'm getting up early and driving an hour I should at least have lunch there because I know meeting this guy does not by itself justify this trip.
He should have offered meeting more or less halfway.
She should have insisted meeting other than Saturday morning.
He isn't into her, she prefers to complain in a public forum instead of just moving on with her life. Not the nicest people on PoF.
One thing in his defense, I know that there are many people who would think nothing of driving a couple of hours just to check out a new store or whatever. Maybe he made that assumption about her. Though I think the best explanation is the "not into her that much" theory. Why get bitter, just move on. | |
|
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:57:58 PM | Ok - let me see. Gas is $4.00 per gallon, my car gets 30 mpgs, so that's $8 to get to the destination. Does Starbucks sell $8 coffee? Damn, it'd better be Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee for me to drive 60 miles just for a cup of coffee.  What in the hell ever happened to "meet you half way". | |
|
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 6/20/2008 11:50:29 PM |
Gas is $4.00 per gallon
Not to nit-pick but at the time this thread started gas was about $2.70/gal.
And you are not driving for the coffee but to meet a potential mate.
Isn't a great guy or gal worth a few bucks and a few hours to anyone on PoF? | |
|
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:05:56 AM |
I am the star of my reality show
And I am Napoleon!
At least your message is consistent with your profile, I'll give you that.
their wives are their queens
But the more relevant question is, are these guys kings or are they serfs?
This "sense of entitlement" you display with no reticence whatsoever is in my opinion why 50% of marriages end up in divorce. And it is a shame that California divorce laws encourage this immoral "a few months cohabitation in exchange for half his stuff" mentality.
I am just thankful I have never been involved with anyone of this black widow genre. Caveat Emptor! | |
|
| |
| Astreaa - you're right !
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:32:19 AM | A woman of your type should be compensated. Why meet halfway in order to interact with a man whom wants to meet you ? Keep selling that stuff, girl ! You so special !  | |
|
shimbo
|
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 518 | |
| |
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 6/21/2008 12:50:28 AM | Sounds like one of those men who have lots of women on the go, he is so good all the women he needs spin to his tune.
If a man wont meet me half way on the first meet, it says to me very clearly that the man is saying:- 'Listen lady if you with me you do all the giving I do all the taking'.
And I say no thank you and politely block the bugger
_____________________________________________________________
Msg: 504 hunni not allowed to open new posts with the same question, that is why these threads open up again. | |
|
| |
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:03:06 AM | msg 512
Interesting, looks like this thread has been going strong for over a year.
Here is my take: Here are two people who were totally lukewarm about each other.
Him: I'll invite her over, have a quick coffee, see what she is like in person. If I like her maybe I'll suggest she stay for lunch, we'll take it from there. If not, well, only a couple of hours wasted.
Her: My Saturday is more valuable than this guy. I want to sleep in. Hey, if I'm getting up early and driving an hour I should at least have lunch there because I know meeting this guy does not by itself justify this trip.
He should have offered meeting more or less halfway.
She should have insisted meeting other than Saturday morning.
He isn't into her, she prefers to complain in a public forum instead of just moving on with her life. Not the nicest people on PoF.
One thing in his defense, I know that there are many people who would think nothing of driving a couple of hours just to check out a new store or whatever. Maybe he made that assumption about her. Though I think the best explanation is the "not into her that much" theory. Why get bitter, just move on.
the topic seems timeless and continues to generate interest. the thread died last almost a year ago.
About each driving part way:
We are left to figure that out ourselves. It seems that both were driving part of the distance. HOwever, that information was not clearly provided until much later in the thread.
Initially, It did seem to me that she was the only one driving and so I thought that he was expecting a bit much. But she later posted that the guy had said to her that she should drive an extra 15 miles on her part so to even things out a bit out .
Some people did the math and figured that he was driving 90 and she was only driving 60. Who knows as nothing was ever clear about this thread. who was driving where to do what with whom? coffee or a date? lunch and dinner then dancing or just coffee??
Does " coffee" always mean " just coffee".?
then people from other parts of the world didn't understand how one cup of coffee could last more than 15 minutes let alone an entire day.
msg 516
This sense of entitlement you display with no reticence whatsoever is in my opinion why 50% of marriages end up in divorce. And it is a shame that California divorce laws encourage this immoral "a few months cohabitation in exchange for half his stuff" mentality.
There's been plenty of studies that show just how such predatory thinking, lack of guilt and sense of entitlement allow people do get away with murder.. often literally. IN relationships the effect is simply devastating.
A recent study actually spoke to how these traits in one of the potential partners often lead to unhealthy relationships. Perhaps not so oddly, these people with these traits do not pick out similarly minded people who possess the same exact traits. The people without these traits seem to actuallyCHOOSE people WITH them.
That is not the topic of the thread- at least not originally but it certainly has morphed into that. THis along with how some women simply few dating as a financial transaction . There are plenty of men who think the same thing so hopefully these two sort meet and destroy each other.
msg 520
Sounds like one of those men who have lots of women on the go, he is so good all the women he needs spin to his tune.
If a man wont meet me half way on the first meet, it says to me very clearly that the man is saying:- 'Listen lady if you with me you do all the giving I do all the taking'.
And I say no thank you and politely block the bugger
hard to figure out where that came from unless it is from your personal experience.
This is how WE ALL view these things- from our perspective using our experience as a template.
It is hard to believe that a person could come up with that conclusion based upon eventhe first opening post let alone all the subsequent posts. oh well.
It appears that some men have treated this person badly or this "meet half way " is a requirement of hers. And this makes more sense to me. This post tell me that this woman is looking for an equal investment. That she will meet the guy halfway. Sounds fair.
Several men on here have posted that they have done more, in some cases uch more.
as always, these threads are fun and hilarious yet not always for the most obvious reasons. | |
|
shimbo
|
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 522 | |
| |
| |
| |
shimbo
|
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 525 | |
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 6/21/2008 11:07:11 AM |
. From the luxury of your denial to post a photo, keeping on wondering if a woman would drive an hour to see you over coffee
I don't drink coffee. 
A woman once flew 1000 miles to see me but that was seventeen years ago and I was very naive then. I don't need a photo, I'm just killing time here, avoiding work for a couple of weeks, maybe more. | |
|
Home
login 
