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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 12:43:39 PM | Geee OP so it didn't matter what type of lunch it was as long as it wasn't just coffee?
Frankly, I think your "date" dodged a bullet there.
When I actually used to date I was flattered and very much appreciated a first date making an effort to meet me such as driving to meet for a drink. It meant something and was not forgotten. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 12:49:12 PM | well...as to the comment when it comes to dating and old fashioned women and men:
whats not worth coming for - is not worth getting
my guess is most of the people here are here because the old fashioned way of dating
isn't working quite as well as we had hoped...its hard to meet people out there.
the internet is a whole new way of dating and it opens up a whole new bunch or opportunties... in my opinion...its time to change some of the rules.
Im not saying we should forget our manners or our social skills...but when our dates are coming from a couple of hours away...I don't personally have a problem driving.
and if someone is flying...I think it depends on who is best able to travel or perhaps the destination.
but again thats just me | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 1:21:28 PM | Wow, great thread, very real, especially posts 23 and 24.
Plus It got me thinking if inviting an American or Canadian women to fly thousands of miles for a week (or two) near the Acropolis is more or less "too much" compared to the 60 miles driving for a coffee "cost"/"benefit" analysis! Both are "traveling date problems" indeed (see the famous "traveling salesman problem") lol   | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 2:32:07 PM | Its me....highjacking my thread again....as I did not know it was against the law... Mr. Bike Man.
My comment in my profile "its not where you are , its who you are with"....I would like to explain myself for you people who do not GET IT !
I don't care where I am .....as long as the person I am with has the decency to treat me with respect and want to show me a nice time and give both of us ample time to get to know the person for who they are and that really can't be done over a cup of coffee for 15 minutes after a long long drive......I felt insulted as my circle of friends would never treat each other so "matter of fact" and shabby.
I am sorry but after the conversation with him I really can not treat him like the KING he thinks he is and try to get to know another his way! Also sorry for those of you who feel his behavior is warranted as I think much more highly of myself than maybe you would think of yourself.
Ta Da !! | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 2:41:28 PM | actually I think very highly of myself.
I guess Im just willing to compromise.
But thats just me.
Whatever works for you
and of course its all opinion...there are eleventy seven thousand people out there...
surely you didn't expect everyone to agree with you.
happy fishing!
boo | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 2:50:44 PM | The first "date" isn't for coffee.... the first MEETING is... and I don't see anything wrong with his request. You are both travelling the same distance. If I were him I'd have said goodbye at your first hesitation to do this because if THIS is hard on you?? how would you EVER sustain a relationship????
(your emphasis on lunch/dinner makes you look like the man is secondary in your decision making process....) | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 2:56:48 PM |
!!!)....because he also asked me if I had a house and was looking for a roommate as he was selling his house and since he was in some type of blue collar union was looking to move anywhere !!
As you can see there were alot of other reasons why the request was totally out of line
OK these factors you did not include in your initial post.
So you pegged the guy as a cheapass loser looking for a woman to move in with and live on HER dime mostly....why didn't you SAY these other issues instead of focusing on the distance driven/reward received equation? Or just not even bother to post? Sweetie, just about any woman who indicates that she can and does support herself is gonna get some contact from the " just lookin' for a home" guys.
In this case you were probably right to pass up this (dubious) opportunity but it was the OTHER circumstances that we'd have understood more easily than just a 60 mile drive.
As food for thought, I've combined first meeting long drives with other errands or business matters, visiting other friends along the route, checking out some interesting sights, to increase the number of birds killed with one tank of gas...er, stone. Sometimes online dating requires on to think outside the box a little bit, no?
Cindy O | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 2:59:44 PM | | Astreaa....If you were to agree to dinner, you would not have to drive anywhere but to a restaurant of your choice. I live approximately 45 miles East of Harrisburg, and would gladly do the 45 miles. I have already driven to Pittsburgh which is over 200 miles. Was stood up. And never did meet the woman. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 3:08:42 PM | Also sorry for those of you who feel his behavior is warranted as I think much more highly of myself than maybe you would think of yourself.
And herein lies the problem princess. There is little doubt now that you think much more highly of yourself than anyone else. You have made that abundantly clear to all who take the time to read your words. But lets examine it further nonetheless:
as long as the person I am with has the decency to treat me with respect and want to show me a nice time
Show you a nice time? I am sorry but what part of the word "couple", "date" or "pair" were you unable to comprehend in whatever archaic dictionary you have on the nightstand? See toots, this whole dating thing, it's supposed to be a mutually enjoyable experience, with the intent being mutually desireable results. If all you are looking for is for someone pleasant to show you a nice time, perhaps instead of wasting your time and the time of others on a site like this, you should just let your fingers do the walking and find a suitably legitimate escort service. This way you needn't travel at a time inconvient for you, you are assured the nice time you feel you so self-righteously deserve, and you get to foot the bill for it too.
Having self respect and self confidence are wonderful traits commonly admired by most people. Expecting that the Men of this world were placed here to specifically serve your particular brand of crazy is something all together different, and obviously the reason for both your frustration with men, and your singleness.
I sincerly would like to help you find that fellow you are looking for (if nothing more so we need not be bothered by more ridiculous threads like this), so with that in mind I leave you with this question. Have you ever considered looking at dating sites from Eastern Europe? It is my understanding many men desperate to leave that region, and who are in the market for a green card might contemplate giving your methods a whirl. Good luck!
Have fun ;)! | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 3:11:31 PM | | hey, at least he invited you!!!, and that is a biggy right there.There are potential daters that live right next to you, or co-workers that you see everyday- and guess what- unless your willing to go out on a lark- they are too wrapped up in their own stuff, to even suggest a get together. Take a chance, go pass go, and advance to , maybe your next great love!!! Bi g deal on the 60 miles for a coffee( your drive)!!, maybe next time would of been for a lobster dinner, and dance????? your loss.............!!! | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 3:30:13 PM | When 2 hours of driving, $15 in gas and a $2 coffee is an unacceptable risk to take to find Love, one has to really wonder how much you really want it, and who exactly is "cheap" in this case.
Heck, at xmas I spent $500 flying out to OR to visit my family, and as a side trip rented a car out there (almost $400 for a week) to drive 4 hours north, and rented a hotel room for 4 nights (another $400) to meet a woman I'd been chatting with on POF for a couple months. I figured at the least (from chatting) we'd have a good time, get to meet, and see where it went from there, 'friends' or more. Whats wrong with taking a risk? Heck, *love* is a risk! | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 3:37:56 PM | as long as the person I am with has the decency to treat *me* with respect and want to show *me* a nice time
Yup, ibechuck.... *me*, *me*, *me*... gee, I thought a first meet/date was for *us* (we) to hopefully have a "nice time".. *together*. A relationship is supposed to be about "us" and "we", not "I" and "me. Oh yeah, and this word called "compromise", that I'm wondering if she knows the meaning of. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 4:14:54 PM | | Why couldn't he agree to meet you halfway? Why did it have to be you doing all the driving to his town? I wouldn't drive the whole sixty miles myself just to meet for a cup of coffee (I'd make alternate plans to either see the sights or shops in the other area if the meeting didn't work out), but if he'd agree to meet midway so there isn't so much driving on one person's part, I would consider doing that. This isn't about meeting just for a cup of coffee, it's about the fact that he doesn't seem to want to meet halfway for a meeting. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 4:34:36 PM |
Why couldn't he agree to meet you halfway? Why did it have to be you doing all the driving to his town?
Then he says....well can you drive another 15 more miles to get to the next town. I asked him why and he said ...well that would make halfway more equal !!!!
What part of that makes it sound like she's driving "to his town"? | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 4:39:09 PM | I met a man an hour from my house for coffee one Saturday am. I figured if the date didn't work out there was a mall close by that I hadn't been to in a while so no big deal. Our date lasted 10 hours. He bought me dinner, we went for a walk in the park. Talked for hours...
He invited himself to my house the next day for dinner and we had a terrific time....Great meal....Before he left he said I'll call you next week.....
I never heard from this man again....I was really hurt. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 4:52:10 PM | I am with Browneyes I would drive as far as I need to meet a person that I liked just to see if there was something. I am always up for new states and places. If it dont work out then I can say I have been there and do somethign else while I am there. As for buying lunch. Theres only been one woman that had bought me lunch supper or anything and that was my mom.  | |
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