| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 4:53:16 PM | I see your date had other plans for the day,60 miles is not unreasonable distance to travel for some coffee. But as you state if he offered lunch it would be fine.....nuff said. "Then you say 15 min. isn't enough time to get to know someone." Of course it is, and if you have a nice conversation you both can plan the next date.But I guess you'll never know how this turns out since you consider him not worthy of your presence because he didn't offer you lunch to begin with and asked you to drive 15 extra minutes,what a pig!
Then in your profile you say:"I enjoy traveling to different places and having good experiences and memories to remember being together!"
Maybe you should add: AS LONG AS IT PLEASES ME! 
To prettykylady
Why couldn't he agree to meet you halfway?
I was under the impression she was driving halfway as she says:
I still would have to drive for about an hour to get there which I figured was halfway. Then he says....well can you drive another 15 more miles to get to the next town. I asked him why and he said ...well that would make halfway more equal !!!! | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:02:56 PM |
we can't pick and choose our 'equal rights'
We can't, newlifeat49? The OP seems to think so.
I asked him why and he said ...well that would make halfway more equal !!!!
GASP!!! Two people driving "equal" distance to meet... as "equals"!!! Say it isn't so! How dare he even suggest it!!! | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 103 | |
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:04:32 PM | OKAY help me out here...........Absoluuuutely NONE of my business but I got to know.............
Singleagain0222...............I coudln't see what you're picture was as it's kinda blurry on here and so I looked in your profile to make sure I was seeing what I was seeing and your VERY FIRST LINE states you are looking for someone serious........................SERIOUSLY???? with your tongue out in that photo??? Now I"m sure you are a beautiful woman..............BUT were you joking about finding a "serious" type guy?? I'm a little slow some days so help me out!!
OP............Follow your gut.......you have to do what works for you.........of course you will never match up with the men on here who think you are being ridiculous....WHO CARES...........no harm done................BUT you will match up with someone who views relationships and what is expected in the beginning stages the SAME AS YOU!!! ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT......be very clear and keep fishing........it's not too much when it's what you want.........there is a man out there who WANTS TO DRIVE TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH FOR YOU actually several!! Best wishes.
Why are some of you so pissy about her choice.........she didn't ask YOU to make the drive!
Diva
Oh and for those who think she might be thinking TOO HIGHLY OF HERSELF......wow..........is that REALLY a problem??? When did thinking HIGHLY OF ONES SELF become a problem??? The only problem I see.......is when you start to think LESS OF OTHERS...........
I think A GREAT DEAL OF MYSELF.............but then.......I think a great deal of others too! | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:15:02 PM | | Everyone here is talking about what is fair - and about equal rights blah blah blah - FIRST I am NOT a man hater, and I am just going to point out some facts. Women on average, get paid 2/3 of what men get paid for doing the same job, and put up with an inordinate amount of cack and harrassment, and don't get taken seriously. Mostly women dominated professions have the least pay yet the most fudiciary responsibility - (nurses and teachers) because the patriarchal dominated society sees to it, that the real power we have is as quashed as humanly possible. AND, there are 1000 x more serial rapists, pedophiles, and sexual assaults perpetrated by men than women. i am NOT saying that we can't be B---tches - many of us can - BUT no matter how tough we are, how much cack we've been through, if a man wants to hurt us on territory we are not comfortable with, and he is determined - there's not a whole heck of a lot a woman can do - especially our teensy lady up there. Maybe the guy IS shy, maybe he did have lunch planned in the best case scenario, and maybe JUST maybe, Miss OP's way of questioning her own decisions, and asking for input was all taken the wrong way here. I understand that gentleman's infuriation, (who won't date women from a town that begins with "B") because in the past generation many women have gone overboard to make up for TEN THOUSAND YEARS OF MALE DOMINATION excuse us, for being assertive and then being unsure of our decisions. You kind of guys think we're all whimisical trivial wishy washy babies when we DON't pick up for ourselves, and then call us stone cold B__tches on the rag when we do.........BTW Anyone not willing to meet me face on to insult me is a coward. I personally have no problem looking any one of you in the eye and saying the same thing.... | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:16:21 PM | I would have no problem driving over an hour to meet someone for coffee. Especially if it was half-way for the both of us. I do understand the point that at least having breakfast or lunch. If you are interested in the fella, invite HIM. Offer to pick up the tab or go Dutch Treat.
Maybe he only does brunch and afternoon tea. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:16:48 PM | Did someone say ends of the earth or was it edge of the city (=acropolis)?
Of course we can seek who we think we deserve and when two people think they really deserve each other ... ain't no mountain high enough ....... lol
Coffee anyone!!!  How many kms?
Champagne? How many kms?
Date(r)-Value/per kilometer = dateability index/rating! | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:34:12 PM |
I am sorry but after the conversation with him I really can not treat him like the KING he thinks he is and try to get to know another his way! Also sorry for those of you who feel his behavior is warranted as I think much more highly of myself than maybe you would think of yourself.
Ugh. My girl, you are depressing me. Who knows what's warranted and what's not when it comes to HIM, but your presentation of this WHOLE thing has been tacky tacky tacky, from your first post.
1. Why would you feel the need to publicly ridicule someone who really did nothing worse than ask you to meet him? If you don't like the terms, fine. But does that mean he deserves this bashing?
2. What's with the snide references to him being "blue collar." If you feel that kind of snobbery, why were you talking to him in the first place?
3. Why are you so promiscuous in your use of inflammatory language? YOU might think it unreasonable to ask you to drive 60 miles on a Saturday morning for a cup of coffee, but it's hardly an act of AUDACITY for him to have proposed it. Now, if he had asked you to drive 60 miles to give him a blow job or something, THAT would be AUDACIOUS. (At least on the FIRST date--ha ha)
4. Since when does a cup of coffee and conversation take just 15 minutes? Did he insist upon it being a "quickie"? Can you not imagine yourself engaging in enough interesting conversation to make a cup of coffee last...hmmmm.....a couple of hours?
5. Don't you GET that first-meeting cups of coffee are commonly used TESTING grounds--will we enjoy each other in person or not? Will they resemble their profiles or not? Trust me honey, had you gotten there, gotten along with each other, finished your coffee with grace and a nice attitude....he would have asked you to lunch.
6. Being all high and mighty and wonderfully sophisticated with your etiquettes and glamorousnesses, don't you know that "going for coffee" is the vogue?
7. If you didn't go because he's "blue collar" and the other stuff you brought up in subsequent posts, what's you point? Methinks that YOU have moved from bashing him for his idea of Saturday coffee, to suggesting that his REAL audacity lies in DARING to think YOU might want to meet poor lowly HIM at all! Are you really saying that if you were really interested in meeting someone you wouldn't drive for an hour to meet him, if he were willing to do the same, even it's just to do that--just meet?
8. If the reason you didn't go for this coffee is the reason you have stated, you are a silly girl.
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:45:47 PM | thank you nomadic for saving me a three day suspension on the blue collar remark...totally classless
OP:my guess is, he figues the op is very much in real life like the hoity toity princess she thinks she is, or at least comes across as, in here; and although some of us men can be quite stupid or gullible, some of us have a way of getting rid of a moron with a moronic suggstion or two...i'm betting he's laffing his head off reading this thread
ps. illaffed so hard it hurt on the thurasday nite sitcom thingy way back with the guy driving his convertible
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:53:46 PM |
I still would have to drive for about an hour to get there which I figured was halfway. Then he says....well can you drive another 15 more miles to get to the next town. I asked him why and he said ...well that would make halfway more equal !!!!
I value my Saturdays and the audacity to invite me to drive so far away to meet him was totally out of line.
What is with you guys anymore, you think everything should be handed to you on a silver platter without any effort at all ???
Wait, so he wanted it to be more equal... so presumably that meant they were *both* going to drive 1-1/4 hours to meet for coffee (and maybe more). Oh, apparently that him not making "any effort at all"? Him driving 1-1/4 hours is "no effort at all", her driving the same is way too much effort? Obviously him taking a few hours off from *his* saturday apparently isn't as "valuable" as a few hours from *her* saturday is?
I do understand the point that at least having breakfast or lunch. If you are interested in the fella, invite HIM. Offer to pick up the tab or go Dutch Treat.
Um, but lil_miss_missy, she flat out said...
I am sure he would have expected ME to pay , (which I would never !!!)
In other words, she wants him to drive more of the distance, *and* pay for everything. For a first meet (taking the "risk" of meeting, in the hopes it might 'click'), where they may very well not like each other and never see each other again.
I am sorry but after the conversation with him I really can not treat him like the KING he thinks he is and try to get to know another his way! Also sorry for those of you who feel his behavior is warranted as I think much more highly of myself than maybe you would think of yourself.
So, he's expected to drive more of the way, and expected to pay for everything, and when he suggests they make the driving "more equal", he's asking to be treated "like the KING he thinks he is"?? Methinks that the true "KING" would be saying "no, you come drive 2-1/2 hours to where I am". Oh, wait, thats what the "princess" seems to want.
Who made her the "prize" to be won? Obviously in her own mind (and words) "I think much more highly of myself than maybe you would think of yourself". Ego, not a very attractive quality in my book. He wanted to meet "equally 1/2 way", that was apparently unacceptable for her, she's starting out asking for things to not be "equal" with a guy she hasn't even met in person yet? What exactly does that say for the future? She mentions that he's "blue collar"... does that somehow make him "less than" her? | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:10:28 PM | OK... the logical question is .." IF YOU MEET AND LIKE EACH OTHER.. WOULD A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WORK?"
Because for meeting the first time.. and your not that excited.. why would you want to travel that way all the time to get to know him... date after date.....DUH!!!!
EVERYONE said the rest ... but I would suggest you ACTUALLY try dating closer to home.. like your own private butler.... since you want to be waited on hand and foot.... | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:16:25 PM | Why are some of you so pissy about her choice.........she didn't ask YOU to make the drive!
She's not making the drive either.
That's what's so nice about the forums,we can all agree to disagree. It's called an OPINION.
TEN THOUSAND YEARS OF MALE DOMINATION
You posted all that over 20 or 30 bucks,your kidding me right?
BTW Anyone not willing to meet me face on to insult me is a coward. I personally have no problem looking any one of you in the eye and saying the same thing....
All I can say is " For the thousands in attendance... and the millions watching around the world... ladies and gentlemen... (dramatic pause) LLLLLET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:51:11 PM | Oh sheesh....
60 miles is nothing!!!!
People here have travelled THOUSANDS of miles to meet...
I'm not normally a "basher", but this lady needs to get over herself.
The guy agreed to meet halfway, for Gawds sake!!! What else do you need?
OP spells "princess" to me.....
Streph
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Tramp
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Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 115 | |
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 7:45:09 PM | How about giving the lady a break.
She has table manners, would like to be treated like a princess,.... roses, she would gladly get and smell, she knows what she wants... the coffee is not what she is looking for.
Astreaa, next time make sure you get to know the person you talk with, and a cup of coffee is just one way to do it. This faceless screen is just an illusion, | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 8:20:32 PM | "It would not be WHERE you go but WHO you are with !!!!"
You did say this in your First Date section?. Did you not?. Maybe he is the kind of guy that would take back an item to the dollar store. Who knows?. I would think most coffee houses would have sandwiches and stuff. Myself...I dont think I would get up that early on a saturday especially if it was my day off to meet someone. He would have to wait till noonish to see any signs of me. I would do it though, just not so early in the am. If you both drove an extra 7 1/2 minutes that would be better. sheesh. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 8:26:27 PM | Tramb,
Mate you summed it up in 50 words or less.
We all have expectations and we all want to find what we are looking for but we all need to compromise to find what we are looking for too.
If that bloke had not wanted to meet OP for lunch - it sounds like he either (a) has other plans on (b) could be in a relationship (c) may have to go back to prison (d) all of the above or was wanting to meet without notice.
Did anyone ask to see if the poor bugger worked on the day or come off from nightshift or was a long haul traveller ?
Any mention of a car or transport problems for the bloke ?
It goes both ways - I have travelled hours to meet some nice women (so I thought) to be told ........... well I am really looking for someone who lives in the rich snobby area so I can save on rent.
OP if you wish to risk it - and see a bloke for a coffee - then go for it - if not - well you never never know if you never never go. Other ladies - well just understand that it goes both ways - some politeness and such should go a long way.
I rest my case, your honour - without all the facts we are all making judgements on both sides.
Hoo Roo, from Downunder :) | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 8:31:48 PM | Hi
First of all I cannot believe this thread went on for 5 pages.
The solution my dear is simple. If you do not like commuting even for a coffee, stick with meeting men in your area. Pretty simple to me.
I for one enjoy taking drives and if someone took the time to get to know me at all in chat first asking me to join them at 7 am would be a no go simpply due to time of day. There was no need for anyone to get uppity here over the suggestion just decline it for whatever your reasons are that simple. Much ado over nothing! | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 119 | |
| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 8:40:14 PM |
She's not making the drive either.
That's what's so nice about the forums,we can all agree to disagree. It's called an OPINION. SHUT UP?? say it ain't so!
Again....................I'll ask it..............WHY SOOOOOOOOOO PISSY........it isn't YOOOOOOOOOOOOU she is asking to drive........
I think I was asking a question on why all the anger towards this lady? it's worth looking into.......especially when people are so put out by this and it did not even happen to/with them.............what does that mean........it's a legitament question Jeremy so give me your opinion. WHY does it bother you so?
is it this?
how dare her think more highly of herself than shes SHOULD (and I am the judge of just how much she should ask for) and how dare her NOT have the same requests and desires for a first date as ME and how dare her think she is a princess (because anyone who wants what they want is obviously royalty and how dare she not ACCEPT the same thing I would accept.........damn her for wanting more than she deserves (and I KNOWwhat she deserves). Stay in your place little lady and don't you dare want to much, if you don't do it like me then YOU are a silly little idiot..........................How dare you ask for more OLIVER(only some of you will get that one)
paahhleeeeeeeeze.... have your opinion..........
that's mine! | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 8:43:16 PM | I have a friend who traveled 4 hours to meet someone for coffee. He wound up staying with her for 4yrs.
If the jerk wasn't willing to come to meet you, then he needs to sit and think about what he is missing. YOU. You are worth it, and don't forget that.
I think guys today are so used to getting everything handed to them on a platter, that they dont even realize they have to give a little to get a LOT. | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 123 | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 8:51:38 PM |
^^^ Doesn't that go both ways?
It ABSOLUTELY does!!! 
Some have missed the post about him MEETING her half way.... THAT was his suggestion. This... after chatting and getting along for a week. NOT unreasonable. NOT so horrible as to warrant such a temper tantrum response by OP. She's portraying him as this unreasonable a$$hole... and meanwhile... all he was doing was asking her to MEET him halfway.
OP: You might want to do some soul searching to figure out exactly what it is you want... cause what it LOOKS like you want... isn't very flattering.... | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/19/2007 9:37:45 PM | you see luv its like this men are not men anymore neither are women for that fact the roles have changed so much that i don't think anyone knows what's the proper thing to do me not comapre would have gladly drove an extra few miles taken a couple extra minutes to meet someone i was interested in i just think that's the manly thing to do cus its men who supposed to do these kinds of things not to say it aint nice when a women does those things makes life rather simpler an simplicity can be a good thing but yea he's either too dumb or too cheap and dosen't value you as much to go out of his way on prime time saturday if he was about what he was talkin about then he would of made the effort believe that  | |
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