| | Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?Page 3 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | Well, " I love you" can mean many things.
For example, I love my cat, I love my home, I love my family. Heck, I even love my beer. 
However, I'm NOT "in love" with them.
I think one has to be "in love" to really mean the "I love you's".
My 2 cents,
Streph | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 4/26/2007 4:02:34 PM | Oh My Gosh! I have!
About 6 or 7 years ago I was dating a man for about 3 months and he was great, the relationship was great and then he said those exact three words, "I Love You". I was off in a wirlwind! I went home, stewed about it and then drove down to his apartment, left the car running, ran in, broke it off and then headed home. At the time I was not looking for anything long term. I didn't want anyone to love me in THAT way... and I ran.
I believe now that how I broke it off was wrong. I would hope that I would do it differently if it were to happen again. As it is, I am not looking for long term AGAIN .. lol ... and I make it very known AND I keep myself at a distance to a certain degree. I don't want to shut out the man altogether because he may be Mr.Right for all I know.... for all I know the guy I dumped years ago was my Mr.Right ... oh the choices me make eh! | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 4/26/2007 4:36:05 PM | I heard these words just recently
" will you marry me, and before you run away think about it cos i mean it"
sad thing is....it was the day after our first meeting
What happened to the I love you before you ask me to marry you.......lol
So what did i do
yep i ran....well actually i broke the world record for the 1500 meter sprint......lol | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 4/26/2007 5:00:46 PM | | they sometimes say it for feeling to know where they stand to see if they should allow themselfs to fall for u or to test the air.............. " i love u " to see if u are serious in the friendship and want to pursue it further or to see if u run " omg she said she loves me this is way to serious to fast i'm having fun right now and enjoying life i'm not gonna talk to her again cus she is falling for me " .........this sends them running | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 4/26/2007 5:49:22 PM |
Robfish (msg 16) - distract them with a kiss!
Thanks for the advice cosmo, I have been doing that in the past and it seems to work well if we cuddle afterwards but that leads me to my next problem......she said "i love you" after a few weeks, I responded with the kisses and cuddles and everything seemed fine. About a month later she proposes to me.....giving her a kiss and a cuddle and telling her she was sweet didn't work lol ....now what?? I know it seems that I am making light of this but its happened to me twice in the past (proposals) and both times caught me completely off guard because it was within a short period of time (a few months). I always assumed that in most cases it was the guy who pops the question.
In both cases I responded with "you're really sweet and we have a good time together but I am not ready for marriage" ........and THEN I proceeded to run for the hills!  just kidding. So how do you say no without offending or hurting someone you care about? | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 4/26/2007 6:06:11 PM | so how do you say no without offending or hurting someone you care about?
well those two were just fluks...anyone asking for your hand in marriage after a month is crazy
ok My answer to your question....by letting it be known in your actions and words... from the beginning, mixed messages in the beginning lead to hurt feelings in the end. you care about her than show her by not using her then disposing of her at a whim. no human with pure intentions devotes months or years
to a relationship without the expectation of long term. be upfront that you want a buddy you can boink occasionally and that she is not wife material for you...painful but upfront.
but that is what you are expecting? a boink buddy
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:45:12 PM | | I've had strangers, co-workers, men, and friends all say it to me and mean it. But the important part was that they weren't trying to get anything from me. They said it for themselves and that is why I believe it was true. In a romantic relationship where egos are involved it could be manipulative and therefore not trustworthy. | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 4/26/2007 8:00:20 PM | I LLLLL, ILLLLOO, I LLLLLLOOOUUUUVVV, LLLUUVE, see I still cant say it!
I can still say, You Bi*ch! and Well if you wasn't such a Sl*t, And I'm sleeping on the couch! And this one, I'm withholding SEX...HA! how do you like that Bi*ch...(JK)
Uhhhh PS: I'm just a BOINKER...Really I am! I'm working on being a shallow Boinker too | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 4/26/2007 10:26:46 PM | kindacute,
I don't want a buddy that I can just boink, I was in a relationship with the girls I mentioned and cared for them deeply. The thought of loving someone within a month or two is not that unreasonable to me, I don't put time limits on anything and hearing the 3 words does not scare me in any way. The proposals came as a surprise to me and I didn't know how to respond on both occasions which is probably why I am single right now, I did not dispose of either of them at a whim like you seem to think and I never once sent them mixed signals. These experiences I speak of happened years ago, and back then I was not ready for marriage even though I was in love with one of the girls that proposed. Does wanting to be sure and ready before taking the next step make me a person who wants a boink buddy?  | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 4/26/2007 10:28:56 PM | Those three little words have been the demise of more than one nice situation in my past. Boy, when they are said too soon ~ I have the ability to turn invisible. Today, that is no longer an issue, thankfully. But I sooooo remember that horrific feeling of: "OMFG ~ I have got to vacate this vacinity immediately." Ewwww. Not good.  | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 4/27/2007 2:49:57 AM | | I had this from a guy I met online and had only been talking to for two weeks. He then got upset when I didnt say it back to him. Subsequently we didnt get past the third date as he decided he was a commitment phobic. I think he just wanted to hear someone say something nice back to him as no one had ever told him they loved him, it wasnt actually anything to do with how he felt for me. | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 4/27/2007 4:51:55 AM | you heard the words i love you and i would like a real commitment and then you ran for the hills.
cause that s what marriage supposedly is, a legally binding commitment. you didn't want anything binding your verbal commitment to her?did you tell her, "I love you but i am not in love with you, that is why i can not marry you?...oh no you didn't...you just said your cute.
"i just want short term slightly physical relationships"-thats a good way of making it clear .
excuses like i was to young and i was not ready, is a farse. those women i am sure made it clear they wanted a commitment long term commitment. you wanted a girlfriend? yep a girl who is a steady "friend" .
boink buddy i suppose is a bit vulgar so lets just use the term -girlfriend .
so lets just say, I want a girlfriend not a wife....yeh that'll make it clear.
you asked how do you tell someone no without offending....i still say be upfront and real from the beginnning do not give mixed messages and if you really care, don't encourage a relationship minded woman when all you want is short term.
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 4/27/2007 5:24:39 AM | Since when does LTR have to mean marriage? That's moving at the speed of light after only a few months, for me. You can love someone, be committed to them, and be on the level all without the "I do." God knows that it takes an hour or less to say "I do..." and a lifetime to say "I was wrong." You can say "I love you" and mean it, but before any thoughts about a binding contract I'd be adding the words "now, prove it." A few months doesn't mean much. That doesn't make them a "boink buddy." It just means that people change (or life changes them) and I want some history before that next step. Show your committment without the paper.
Can't blame Robfish for that one...I'd have been YIKES! to a proposal like that, too. | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 4/27/2007 5:25:41 PM | | Well thanks for all the advice and 2-cents everyone.... Glad to know I'm not the only one....PS. Not commitment phobic...just not sure how to let a guy down gently without hurting his feelings....everytime a guy has said it to me it was shortly therafter that he proposed....Just wondered about everyone else's thoughts...thanks...:) | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 4/27/2007 6:37:01 PM | kindacute,
Now you are just making assumptions and jumping to your own conclusions without knowing all the facts. Yes, I did tell her that I loved her and I genuinely meant that, it was never an "i love you, but i'm not in love with you" thing because that statement itself is very pathetic! The proposal caught me off guard and I wasn't sure how to respond, I gave her a kiss and a cuddle and told her that I couldn't. I wasn't ready to make such a huge committment so soon into a relationship (under 2 months), so now according to you that makes me a bad person for encouraging a relationship-minded woman? I can still be committed in a relationship and I have been, never cheated on anyone in my entire life, the only thing I wasn't ready to commit to YET was a lifetime relationship also known as marriage.......I need more than a few months to sense if a girl is "the one". Anyway after that night things were never the same, slowly faded away because she was embarassed.......so if u want to get techincal she was the one who ran for the hills, not me . Thanks for the advice though. | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 1/6/2008 4:53:23 PM | | what in the world does ( I LOVE YOU MEAN ) does anyone ever really mean it when they say the words ( i love you? ) Shoot me and my husband said that for ten years i think the first two yeas we mean't it after that it just became a every day chore and thats what tore us a part after 10 years of marriage i wouldn't know what to do if someone said that to me i would more then likley run as fast as i could and never look back i do not and will not ever trust anyone to say thoses words to me again other then my family the ( HELL WITH MEN ) for right now i do not trust anyone to say thoses words to me sounds like a bunch of BS to me | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 1/6/2008 8:19:51 PM | | I've had a guy say that to me way too early (3rd date I think it was) and was pretty much wanting to get engaged, if I had been on the same page. I didn't get out immediately, but probably should have. That kind of clingy, needy reaction to meeting someone you like is just a sign of worse things to come. I don't though have a problem with a guy falling in love before I do....as long as it's on a more reasonable timeline where I'm not feeling pressured to feel the same immediately. | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:50:46 PM | | This reminds me of the time my ex-boyfriend said "I love you" to me. We were in bed at the time and when he said it, I pretended to be asleep. I was still pretending to be asleep when he said it a second time. And he never said it ever again, thank God... If I said the same thing back to him, it would've been a lie. | |
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| Ever hear the words I love you and ran for the hills?
Posted: 1/7/2008 1:29:27 AM | They're just words. True love is expressed over many months or years. Love is expressed through genuine actions--not through some silver-tongued manipulator looking for an angle. A person saying "I love you" after a just a short time together either has an ulterior motive or just likes to hear themselves say it. 
But no, I don't go running for the hills. I'll give the girl opportunities to show that love through genuine actions. | |
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