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| Paying for dinner date with 2 for 1 coupon. Will she be impressed?
Posted: 5/8/2007 3:44:09 AM | Let us do some economic analysis to the case. The guy was able to pay for his food with the said coupon (2 for 1) only because the woman paid her part in cash. If the woman had been alone, the coupon would not be valid would it? Or he could pay with it 50% of his own meal?
What is the value of the coupon? Anything between zero and half the total price of the meal for 2. The Dutch thing would have been to use the coupon and then split the rest. The Prince thing would have been to pay for his own part and use the coupon to pay for the woman's. The gentleman's to pay for all dinner and NOT use the coupon.
Who chose the type of restaurant anyway? If he has budget problems, he should have chosen a cheap but quaint one. Maybe he used the coupon because he did not like his date and wished not to burden his pocket. What a #^^#&@# in any case!!! | |
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| Paying for dinner date with 2 for 1 coupon. Will she be impressed?
Posted: 5/8/2007 9:07:31 AM | Tell her to NEVER go out with him again. If she wants to give a complimentary reason...then quick and to the point "I'm sorry but no thanks after that swift dinner move the other night. To me that's as cheap as you can possibly be. Gag me." text message should do.
Impressed? No... simple as that. | |
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Algy
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 230 | |
| Paying for dinner date with 2 for 1 coupon. Will she be impressed?
Posted: 5/8/2007 11:37:08 AM | That’s one way to see what kind of character your date has!
If, after an otherwise pleasant evening, she makes a big deal out of something so insignificant, perhaps the relationship was doomed to start with.
Re: the economic analysis between the two of them - if that’s what matters here - it’s hard to say without knowing more. I’d have to have ask who paid for transportation, parking, valet, drinks and flowers before making an economic parity judgment. | |
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| Paying for dinner date with 2 for 1 coupon. Will she be impressed?
Posted: 5/8/2007 1:13:01 PM | I'm a little late to this party, just stumbling upon this gem of a thread today. I can't see how this guy thinks he did something right. My first instinct reading Msg1 was "TDH you sunuvabitch, very creative dating joke thread".
I have a hard time believing anybody could rationalize this behavior. First if he had this coupon, I'm assuming he suggested the venue. Agreeing to go dutch is fine, but it seems since he suggested the venue, he should take the onus of paying the pill since he is the inviter (general etiquette).
Ok now let's still assume they decide to go dutch. He couldn't have used the damn coupon by himself; therefore it's incorrect for him to assume that possession of the coupon represents his half of the bill. Seems like if he really wanted to invoke that coupon, and he really wanted to go dutch, this should have been discussed before the bill arrived. Instead he underhandedly forked over the coupon after she paid her dutch share.
Normally I don't carry coupons so I'm not worrying about this crap on my dates. If it's my offer, I pay the bill. If I were invited, I'd offer to pay my half but I wouldn't fight against my date's insistance on picking my half up. There simply is NO WAY IN HELL for this guy to rationalize his coupon behavior as "proper". NO WAY WHATSOEVER.
An unrelated question I suppose is the use of coupons on first dates. I typically don't have restaurant coupons in my possession, so this never really comes up for me. Why is it improper, crass, tacky, what have you? I'd think it was thrifty, and if I weren't paying the bill (which is the typical scenario for many ladies on first dates), why should I care how my date is remunerating the restaurant for my meal? These Entertainment coupon books are quite prevalent in the United States. I'm curious to hear why you would be non-plussed if your date used a coupon on the first date and you didn't have to pay one red cent for your meal? Please don't say "just because" or "it just is". Explain your reasoning. It's assumed that your date left the proper tip amount (say 20% on the total before coupon discount). | |
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| I used a 2 for 1 coupon on a 1st meeting
Posted: 5/8/2007 11:43:58 PM | My opinion.... coupons are great! The way the date handled the coupon was not.
I recently agreed to a 1st meet with a man and I ended up using a coupon but the circumstances were different.
1. I didn't realize it was supposed to be a "date" since he said that he wanted to get together to talk more about a charity I work for (silly me!)
2. He clearly stated (several times) he wanted to pay for dinner at the low cost chain restaurant he selected. (perhaps this should have told me it was a "date")
3. He was a totally different person in person ... even said "you didn't expect me to act the same in person as I do on-line did you?" This was after he had tried to invite himself home with me that very evening.
I was sure I did not want him for a friend or a volunteer with my organization anything else within 15 minutes of meeting (the point he tried inviting himself to my apartment). I did stay for almost an hour because, well honestly.... I was fascinated (like a NASCAR pile-up) by how big a hole the guy was digging for himself and I was trying to think of a way to recommend the proper counseling I think he needs without matching his rudeness.
When the waitress returned I offered him a 2 for 1 coupon since he had somehow forgotten that prior to meeting he had insisted that he was a gentleman (probably a red flag for me in the future when a guy tells me that he thinks himself a gentleman rather than letting me discover this to be true) and would be paying for both meals. I also offered to pay the tip to the waitress since I made the assumption he would probably also "forget" that doing so is expected in the USA.
At this point... he read the coupon then said "so this pays for my dinner?" (Uh!, No!)
If the evening had gone well and he had not "forgotten" that he had insisted on paying I would have let him know that I had a coupon & given him the choice of using it.
When I go out with friends of either gender we often use coupons.... we believing in "never paying retail" and live within our means. We do, as suggested by others in the forum, split the cost of the meals minus the coupon. By doing so, we get to spend time together out twice as often.
- Call me thrifty | |
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Algy
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 237 | |
| Paying for dinner date with 2 for 1 coupon. Will she be impressed?
Posted: 5/9/2007 7:40:20 AM |
I'm curious to hear why you would be non-plussed if your date used a coupon on the first date and you didn't have to pay one red cent for your meal?
Good question Bike.
Yannow, I'm not saying it's in good taste (pun not intended) - and I'd never have the chutzpah to do it, but I can see where a guy who was tired of the game, weary of the excess, and disappointed by the expectations imposed by traditional and gender roles, might make a statement by paying with a coupon. He sounds like a nice guy otherwise. He didn't hurt anyone. He just acted a little eccentrically - and I'm kind of partial to eccentrics. | |
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Nen
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Joined: 3/29/2007
Msg: 238 | |
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| Paying for dinner date with 2 for 1 coupon. Will she be impressed?
Posted: 5/9/2007 7:56:22 AM | | I'd say it's OK to use a coupon when you've been out with a girl a few times, I don't on a first date. But then I prefer to pay. If he had thrown in the coupon and then split the bill OK .But for him to use a coupon as his half is cheap, low class and unfair. A major red flag. | |
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| Paying for dinner date with 2 for 1 coupon. Will she be impressed?
Posted: 5/9/2007 8:17:09 AM | I see a lot wrong with being a "cheap skate" IF you have money. To me, coupons do not mean cheap. Coupons are the same as money. A company chooses to use them for marketing reasons. The company then has the ability to have your patronage (maybe you'll buy items/food/beverages that are not included on the coupon. At least you will have the experience of the restaurant - a winner for all involved).
I don't see anything wrong with using coupons.
I have never been on a date where I paid (regardless to cost). Now days, some tell me that this is discussed before hand. I date older guys so the subject never comes up. I would have had a problem paying half then learning that half was all that was owed:-). I would not have seen him again because of his deception (for whatever reason).
I would, definitely, be impressed if we were eating at the restaurant of our choice while saving money- even if the money was his. Why not? It might not mean that the man is cheap. It might suggest that he "stretches" his dollars (which I think is a good value especially if I was to end up with him). A lot can be said about "watching your money". It means you probably have less credit card debt; more savings or investments; an ability to take choice vacations; etc. | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 241 | |
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| Paying for dinner date with 2 for 1 coupon. Will she be impressed?
Posted: 5/9/2007 12:07:03 PM | Please explain how taking advantage of a coupon is being "cheap". This is what I don't understand. I can pose the question the other way:
"I think there are better ways to make a first impression than throwing away money unnecessarily." | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 243 | |
| Paying for dinner date with 2 for 1 coupon. Will she be impressed?
Posted: 5/9/2007 12:14:07 PM | | Using a coupon when you have been seeing someone for awhile is a great idea, using a coupon to pay for your half of going dutch says something about you that's not very flattering. Personally i would never have those kind of problems because i would never take a woman on a first date to a restaurant that took coupons. | |
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Algy
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 244 | |
| Paying for dinner date with 2 for 1 coupon. Will she be impressed?
Posted: 5/9/2007 12:53:15 PM |
...using a coupon to pay for your half of going dutch says something about you that's not very flattering.
I won't defend the use of the coupon under the circumstances. We know too little to go there. But like Bike said, present circumstances aside, what is it about the use of a coupon that isn't flattering? | |
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| Paying for dinner date with 2 for 1 coupon. Will she be impressed?
Posted: 5/9/2007 1:22:23 PM | using a coupon to pay for your half of going dutch says something about you that's not very flattering. That's a given for why I explained in Msg 232; you couldn't have used the coupon by yourself, it's only applicable when 2 meals are purchased, unless you are a glutton you wouldn't go out by yourself to a restaurant and purchase two meals for yourself.
Personally i would never have those kind of problems because i would never take a woman on a first date to a restaurant that took coupons. In my area, the Entertainment coupon books advertise very fine restaurants along with the Burger Kings and Wendys. Fine authentic Italian restaurants in a very ethnic Italian area of town. Please explain why if you are treating someone to a meal, the presentation of a coupon would be non-plussing to the person being treated. I don't understand why someone who isn't coughing up a cent would have a conniption about this. | |
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| Paying for dinner date with 2 for 1 coupon. Will she be impressed?
Posted: 5/9/2007 1:42:45 PM | I would never do that on a dinner date. That was just plain tacky on the guy's behalf. Obviously he had no inclination to try and give the girl a nice first impression. He's a cheapo tightwad.
It's okay to be thrifty (I'll offer to go to dinner with my friends and say "lookee what I got, a coupon, we can share it! ") - but on a first date, I repeat: plain tacky. | |
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| Paying for dinner date with 2 for 1 coupon. Will she be impressed?
Posted: 5/9/2007 1:45:11 PM | I think this is TACKY...at least on a first date. I have no problem with using coupons and being thrifty when possible, but I would not recommend this on a first date. Maybe not even for the first few dates. For me, this would be a turn off. I think it makes a women feel cheap, whether this is intentional or not....IMHOP | |
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Algy
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 248 | |
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| Paying for dinner date with 2 for 1 coupon. Will she be impressed?
Posted: 5/9/2007 2:53:47 PM | First, there are more creative ways to be cheap without looking cheap....it should not be obvious to your date.
I think women view how a man spends (or fails to spend) his money as a direct reflection of how generous and giving he is as a person in all aspects of his life. A man who uses coupons is could be seen as a tightwad who puts his own bottom line above all else. This is not to say that women equate love with money; but that they will be more drawn to a man who is generous both in finances (when possible) and love.
No, this would not affect my sense of self worth, but it MAY alter my perception of this person....just my opinion:) | |
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Algy
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 250 | |
| Paying for dinner date with 2 for 1 coupon. Will she be impressed?
Posted: 5/9/2007 3:11:26 PM | | Maybe it’s a question of values. (Pun almost intended.) I think it’s funny that a woman would prefer a relationship with a spendthrift over someone who is budget conscious. I would think it would be the other way around. Particularly on a first date. I mean, what does it say for a guy to spend big jing on a woman he hardly knows and may never see again? Seems foolish to my frugal German sensibilities. What kind of husband will he make if he tosses his (and maybe your) earnings around like monopoly money? | |
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