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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/22/2007 8:52:12 PM | | I don't care for ONS. It’s okay, but it’s not my first choice. If I'm going to have sex with a woman once, I'm going to do again. I'm currently having sex with three different women that I see about once a week each. One I met here and the others I met in nightclubs. They are all lovely, intelligent and have their lives together. All of them know I see other women and they likely see other men. I don't know for sure, because I don't ask. | |
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| Casual Sex, or was it a One Nite Stand....
Posted: 4/22/2007 9:10:10 PM | One night stand, casual sex...bumpin' uglies...all these expressions mean the same to me...they mean...."sex with someone you aren't in love with", am I right?
I have certainly fallen for "lightning fast chemistry" when you just can't keep your hands off of him, his smile tells you he's intrigued as well, his touch electrifies you, and you could call it sexual magic....but most of the times it's really just the six shots of tequila.
So....I swore off inebriated sex....not that it's not goooooooood, but sober encounters are truly the best and most likely won't cause a big case of hangover and guilt the next day.
Cowboy, I applaud your sentiments, but don't ya think you're puttin' too much pressure on yourself? I could do the same, but don't want failure to keep my promise to myself, always hangin' over me.....just being aware of the fact, you want sex to mean something to eachof you, is a good start. I wish you luck. | |
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| Casual Sex, or was it a One Nite Stand....
Posted: 4/22/2007 11:00:16 PM | Sunny,
I am always putting to much pressure on me... especially where the ladies are concerned. You know, "Be my Brother's Keeper" and all that jazz. And sometimes women leave themselves open to a man because they are hurt, lonely, belligerent, etc. And so I feel obligated cause I have two girls, not to take advantage. KARMA and all that jazz.
My mom says that the reason I was blessed with two girls was that GOD wanted to show me the error of my ways. OF course this is also the same woman that said she thought I should be a gigolo when I was in my late teens / early tweenties. A profession I would gladly take up if I could find the right MAN - WHORE Pimp! You up for it SUNNY? It has a few great fringe benefits I am told... like the money and etc. | |
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| Casual Sex, or was it a One Nite Stand....
Posted: 4/22/2007 11:05:07 PM | LoneStar,
I applaud you dude. I miss those days of YORE! There has not been many a nite that I state... "OK! ENUFF IS ENUFF!" "I AM GONNA DO THAT AGAIN!" and then I walk out the door and the New me takes over and leads me home safe and sound .... by myself once again.
Add to that, I am noticing a trend with some of the females I have met. And that is that there seems to be this rush to get into a relationship... ESPECIALLY after professing that they do not want one, or are not looking for one right away. SO I get all confused and back up... go home... and enjoy my COLD SHOWERs. 
Keep up the good works for those of us that are not living on the Lighted Path.
-CowboyEnuff- | |
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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/23/2007 12:31:44 AM | Some try to make it out to be a one night stand, if a person has casual sex, some i have known for a few day's, and it just happenes, it is between two adults, both of us know what we'er doing, and it's not a forced issue, it is a fun issue, it releaves some tention, we become closer, and it's fun, i have ladies i've been friends with for years, and i see them,we may or may not have sex, if we do, it alway's end with a kiss, and i'll see you later, the thing is, we'er both adults, and who's business is it anyway... | |
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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:18:49 AM | Okay, you did it cowboy....I never post on anything but the party forums, but here is my one exception. And you may be sorry you invited me to express my opinion. LOL Some people have made the comment about honesty/communication....HOW VERY TRUE!!!!
Here is my two cents:
If you are an adult and you find enjoyment with another adult, why deny yourself the opportunity to have a sexually fulfilling relationship(or whatever kind of relationship you BOTH agree on). YES....WHAT SOME OF YOU ARE REFERRING TO AS CASUAL SEX CAN BE A FULFILLING RELATIONSHIP.
I dont think that casual sex has to = a one night stand. It might, but doesn't have to...
I believe cowboy was refering to fwb as the topic (kinda) so if not...please excuse my post completely. Disclaimer: FWB is different than a F***buddy (of which I still will not pass judgement).
Friends with benefits implies a FRIENDSHIP has developed. This is not a one night stand. You can be there for your friend to help them through troubled times, cry on each others shoulders, get/give advice or opinions, go out together, stay in together just to talk or watch a movie...things FRIENDS do....not all friends have sex...but I don't think it is wrong IF there is honest open communication about it from the very beginning, and sometimes clarification to make sure you both CONTINUE to be on the same page...Here in lies the problem....sometimes one person may develop more feelings than the other...resulting in hurt feelings and damaged friendship....so yes...this is a very slippery slope....BE CAREFUL. I am not advocating fwb...just acknowledging that it is possible to have that type of friendship.
Sometimes in our lives, we are not ready for a serious/committed/exclusive relationship. Does that mean we will never want that? NO, not necessarily. But I don't see the point in dening your sexual feelings...self-control...yes, you don't have to jump into bed w/anyone or everyone, but even if you do, that is not anyone else's business except the person you are jumping with...again...communication!!! Please be responsible in all ways...physically and with their emotions.
Lonestar..I applaude you for being honest...and for the next part of your statement "I don't know for sure, because I don't ask". My theory is: Don't ask a question you don't want to know the answer to. I have one friend (not on this site), that asks. Guess what....I tell him the truth. Why he thinks he should ask when he already knows we are not exclusive (anymore), I don't know!!! But he does ask, so I do answer... HONESTLY!!! We continue to be friends first and foremost. We talk on the phone, we discuss kid problems, work problems, everything friends talk about and do, and sometimes we have sex... Is it wrong? Some people say yes. Me, I say as long as we are being honest, no. I don't play games. I don't let someone believe that they are my one and only and lifelong partner. I'm not looking for that right now, b/c I'm still learning a lot of things about ME. I have been a single mom for way too long, and I have never really been single w/o kids, since I married very young. I don't know for sure if many of the things I have enjoyed/liked over the years are b/c I wanted to or b/c I was obligated to. I want to be sure that I know myself well enough b4 I encourage someone else to join me in my crazy mixed up life (yes, most of us have those in one way or another). I'm sorry I wrote a book for someone who doesn't post on this type of forum, but this subject has come up a number of times for me over the past few days, so I guess I just had to let it all out....Thanks for letting me post my opinion. Remember, this type of relationship is not right for everyone, but it can work. Like every other type of relationship (friends/lovers/spouse/family) it takes work to make sure the relationship stays strong.. We all have choice, free will, and rights in this world. I have the right to feel the way I do, You have the right to feel the way you do, and if we disagree, well we might have to agree to disagree... | |
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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:44:02 AM | This is an interesting topic with definate generational difference popping up. A lot of us, me included, forget that even honest people hurt other people. When sex comes into the picture, a level of intimacy is obtained that had not occured prior to the incident. When you have passion, you also have vunerability (or at least it happens for me) and then someone might get hurt. I have had several relationships where the lady decided it was time for a deeper relationship, but I had not come to that same conclusion. That was when the pain began. At that moment in time, irregardless of my honesty, she got hurt.
Casual sex just makes it easier for that moment in time to occur. | |
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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/23/2007 6:39:02 AM | | Great topic, because i hate dressing up for sex, and this means there are others that feel the same , casual clothes it is......By the way im just razzing yall, I would coment but every one would think i was a lil on the wild side,,, lol ,,,, all i can say is with the right person , with the moon at the right angle , with the planets lined up , the air with a lil breeze in it , and if ya hold ya tounge just right ,, casual sex it ok! | |
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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/23/2007 9:05:15 AM | Corisicanagirl... "WOW!"
Did I say... "WOW!" I just want to make sure that I said... "WOW!" Cause that was really a "WOWWIE!" Thanks. You summed up in less than one book (actually) the sum of my entire dating history.
And then TXRed came along and hit it out the park. Cause it often occurs even with "OPEN and HONEST" communication, people want what they want. Expect what they expect. And almost always desire what they feel that they can not have.
Finally, Txskeeter... the levity was definitely appreciated, cause if we can not laugh during or after a serious conversation or thought... then what are we doing on this site.
TO ALL... MY HATs ARE OFF!
CowboyEnuff | |
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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/23/2007 12:51:26 PM | I have gotten to the point to where I would rather masturbate and just not have sex at all. Not being ready for a relationship is fine but not ready for a relationship just because you only want pleasure and you couldn't give a crap about the other person's feelings is not. The latter is what I usually find. When women go from being beautiful and sexy to the fat b*tch that they are astonished to turn them down something is wrong there.
I am not saying that I am waiting for marriage to have sex again but I do know that I want a relationship and I want a man to be with me for me and not for what I can do for them/to them. When having sex goes from feeling great after to leaving you feeling like you made a horrible mistake and feeling like crap there should be a time to re-evaluate some things. | |
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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/23/2007 2:10:40 PM | I've had those very sentiments expressed on my profile since I joined, yet I still see so many women who place sexual restrictions on the nature of any relationship they may have, before it even starts. "Must not have messaged others looking for some tail", etc.
It is very possible to have a friendly sexual relationship, without being in love, or feeling mlike someone is "yours". Maybe you're just saying "no" now, pretending to be born-again virgins, only to say "yes!" later, if the chemistry (also variously known as "nesting instinct, financial stability, sense of humor, a cool car/bike, or good hair) is just right. Nothing wrong with that, we all want to meet the most attractive people, in all ways, that we can, but just be honest in your profile. Unless you're celibate, knock off the pretensions of innocence, OK?
Since I don't visit this site often, if you have any kind of response, contact me through my profile, and yes, I'm still single, am now rebuilding the old Sportster, (up in May or June), and will answer any letter with respect, even if it's silly. | |
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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:02:45 PM |
we all want to meet the most attractive people, in all ways, that we can, but just be honest in your profile. Unless you're celibate, knock off the pretensions of innocence, OK?
You admit a fib in your profile, like you can't fix the age error...hmmmm...why don't ya just do that? | |
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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/23/2007 3:11:18 PM | | For some reason i am scared of casual sex ive never been the type who just sleeps around most of the men i have had casual sex with i have had more then one night with them ...so ya i guess it could mean more if it gets to the point where u start to develope feelings but i also think that casual sex with different people is some peoples way of covering up something or running or just like to add notches to thier belts... | |
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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:32:02 AM | TxSkeeter - in response to your hat query... I have always practiced that if it is a baseball cap turn it around. Unless for some strange reason your lover is behind you and you happen to be a guy. Then USE your own discretions where that one is concerned.
IF it is a Cowboy Hat and you are engaging in Casual Sex (see, still on topic) then chances are the woman has it on and it is up to her to decide where on the bedpost to hang it. Cause she took it off your head, she is now responsible for it.
That is just how I handle it.... 'tis all
Casey - TO ALL the women reading this I must apologize for what you are about to read. GUYS, I hope you understand me breaking the Guy Handbook rules listed on page 113. But they gotta know this stuff  
Casey and Z28 - It is not always a guys choice to engage in Sex, or even Casual sex. It is both parties that decide. The woman may agree or cave in or allow it, but the guy definitely can not "Legitimately" unless given the opportunity to. Having said that, I now break the Big Guy Handbook rule on page 113.
We the "Decent" guys assume that when we meet you - the "Decent" women, that you are possibly a woman we want to know better. We have spoken to you and attempted to date you and even on occasion wooed you because of those very reasons.
Granted there are times when something you say or do may change how we perceive you as a person, and thus we go forward thinking maybe this is not what we thought it would be. What it has become. AND in those situations, according to the handbook, we play dumb!
Now I am sure this is what many of the ladies would love to be the truth. But it is not for all of us. There is no book! And although what I typed does have merit, it does not explain it for all guys.
I was speaking with someone that had an interesting perspective on her life. She mentions that"she is the only person who can make herself happy!" "The only person who can make herself sad!" And there was a few more really great things that she says...
But the point is, Casual Sex right. There is no wrong or write between two consenting adults. I have been denying myself opportunities to meet women for fear that any Casual sex encounter would lead to what you Z28 and Casey have both just said. Making me miserable.
BUT...if a woman walked in the door right now and stated "I want to get to know you better" I would not have a clue how to go by doing that. I am so out of practice with dating. Casual sex to me, at times, seems like the PERFECT answer cause then I can engage in a moment of blissful interaction with a lovely woman. And not feel all the pressure of trying to be something to her that I may never be capable of doing outside the bedroom. And just maybe that is why so many men are comfortable with sex, than with relationships. Cause many times women have unrealistic expectations...
And I am not saying that we men do not as well.
Just a thought and my take on it.
-CowboyEnuff-
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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/24/2007 1:35:13 AM | TxSkeeter - in response to your hat query... I have always practiced that if it is a baseball cap turn it around. Unless for some strange reason your lover is behind you and you happen to be a guy. Then USE your own discretions where that one is concerned.
IF it is a Cowboy Hat and you are engaging in Casual Sex (see, still on topic) then chances are the woman has it on and it is up to her to decide where on the bedpost to hang it. Cause she took it off your head, she is now responsible for it.
That is just how I handle it.... 'tis all
Casey - TO ALL the women reading this I must apologize for what you are about to read. GUYS, I hope you understand me breaking the Guy Handbook rules listed on page 113. But they gotta know this stuff
Casey and Z28 - It is not always a guys choice to engage in Sex, or even Casual sex. It is both parties that decide. The woman may agree or cave in or allow it, but the guy definitely can not "Legitimately" unless given the opportunity to. Having said that, I now break the Big Guy Handbook rule on page 113.
We the "Decent" guys assume that when we meet you - the "Decent" women, that you are possibly a woman we want to know better. We have spoken to you and attempted to date you and even on occasion wooed you because of those very reasons.
Granted there are times when something you say or do may change how we perceive you as a person, and thus we go forward thinking maybe this is not what we thought it would be. What it has become. AND in those situations, according to the handbook, we play dumb!
Now I am sure this is what many of the ladies would love to be the truth. But it is not for all of us. There is no book! And although what I typed does have merit, it does not explain it for all guys.
I was speaking with someone that had an interesting perspective on her life. She mentions that"she is the only person who can make herself happy!" "The only person who can make herself sad!" And there was a few more really great things that she says...
But the point is, Casual Sex right. There is no wrong or "write" between two consenting adults. I have been denying myself opportunities to meet women for fear that any Casual sex encounter would lead to what you Z28 and Casey have both just said. Making me miserable.
BUT...if a woman walked in the door right now and stated "I want to get to know you better" I would not have a clue how to go by doing that. I am so out of practice with dating. Casual sex to me, at times, seems like the PERFECT answer cause then I can engage in a moment of blissful interaction with a lovely woman. And not feel all the pressure of trying to be something to her that I may never be capable of doing outside the bedroom. And just maybe that is why so many men are comfortable with sex, than with relationships. Cause many times women have unrealistic expectations...
And I am not saying that we men do not as well.
Just a thought and my take on it.
-CowboyEnuff-
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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/24/2007 12:07:41 PM | Something I found on the WEB in regards to Casual Sex or FWB relations. Thought it was Hilarious since it was something someone sent to me. Enjoy!
"Friends with Benefits"
Body: Statistically speaking, unless you are a total hermit, social retard, or ugly as a bag of spoiled ass... There's at least 1 person on your **POF Favs list** that wants to date you or sleep with you. So..... lets play "friends w/ benefits"
The rules are simple... if you want to date the person who posted this, send them a message to their inbox saying "Im yours".
If you just want to sleep with them and stay friends, send them a message that says "I'd hit it".
SCARED? LOL
THE TWIST IS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER THIS, EVEN IF YOU'RE TAKEN
& see who replies. There is at least 1 person on your **POF Favs list** that wants to date you, and maybe more that want to sleep with you.
Go on do it Unless You Are To Scared !!!!!!!!! | |
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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/24/2007 9:27:50 PM | | i am honestly not interested in casual sex.. i think it defeats the purpose of making love.. i would rather wait an make love to someone i want to be with an explorer then just f*** in my opinion.. love sex but it can lead to a path you dont want to be in... but we are all adults an can decide for ourselves.. i just choose not to my body is my sanctuary an only the ones that are worthy will get to see | |
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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/25/2007 7:09:34 AM | Z28, there are all sorts of levels of Love, Love Making, and intimacy.
It has been my pleasure to say that I have "F'd" with women I was in LOVE with and "Made Luv" to women I was just a "F" to them.
I do understand the need to feel more than a passing interest in the person you are with. TRUST ME I DO! I often experience that when the offer for a Casual encounter is placed in front of me, and I have to decide to take the "GREEN" or "BLUE" pill. lol
My Point! Is that you can experience some of the same, if not as deeply moving, sensations and feelings with some Lovers... no matter the type or definition of the relationship that you are having with them at that time.
I think I lost site of that up until recently.
-CowboyEnuff- | |
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| Casual Sex Can mean more than just a One Nite Stand...
Posted: 4/25/2007 8:24:39 AM | | guess what they say is true ... you live an learn an as time goes by an we grow older we find out what we really want in life... if people want to have casual sex hey more power to them if thats there thing its all good... i think i wanted that when i was younger but now i want different things out of life an that is just not the most important thing anymore to me...maybe its just a phase | |
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| Casual Sex Can You tell by the first kiss how he/she will be
Posted: 4/25/2007 9:52:46 AM | | in my opinion no.. i dont think so .. for the simple fact some men are sloppy kissers but are not sloppy lovers... but some men can have all the focus on kissing an not on the love making so no i dont think so from personal expierence .. but one heck of a good kiss will get ya going tho!!! | |
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| Casual Sex Can You tell by the first kiss how he/she will be
Posted: 4/25/2007 8:57:40 PM | | With out addressing the “sloppy” notion, I feel that you can tell a few things about a woman by the way she kisses. For example, a woman that kisses me first is going to be more willing to initiate sex than a woman that kisses in a shy way. At least in the beginning. Shy women want (need?) to be lead. | |
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