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| Re: Can Two People Really Meet and Begin a Relationship in a Forum?
Posted: 7/21/2008 8:19:39 AM | My sister, living in New York state, met her now-husband, living in Alaska, while online in a chatroom. They're still going strong 8 years later! Have a friend in Canada, who met a man in a chatroom from North Carolina, they're happily married now for a few years. Another one in Canada deliberately chatted with people very far away, in order to NOT get attached, and ended up marrying someone from Hawaii she met online!
Just sayin', it sure is possible, happens all the time. That's why I'm here, too! Love talking to people, have little chance to meet new people here in my hometown, so the forums, chatrooms, personal ads are all good. Hopefully my Mr. Right is living nearby, but if not, I'm sure we'll work it out.
Debbie
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| Re: Can Two People Really Meet and Begin a Relationship in a Forum?
Posted: 7/21/2008 8:23:20 AM | Well, there is a HUGE difference between "someone misrepresenting themselves" and just not "having chemistry" in person.
Surely, after 4 years of being online, you have learned how to read some red flags of misrepresentation?
I am mixed on the whole distance aspect of things...I would never consider someone in another country! However, I am more open to the idea of someone within a couple hundred miles! LOL I do not expect to find someone in my freaking backyard! | |
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| Re: Can Two People Really Meet and Begin a Relationship in a Forum?
Posted: 7/21/2008 8:29:36 AM | 4 years its a long time. Yeah usually if you find someone is in the middle of "Siberia". Right?
In N. America since colonial times there were more man. Why? Well immigration and man did the work and more single man travelled and faced life, women were looking for the man who was the provider. The western movies illustrates very well that stuff.
Also the Fred Astaire musicals illustrates the other thing...that the "old" but wealthy man had more opportunities compared to the young and cute but poor guy, the young guy was kissed on the cheeks in those movies. Right? I was watching the movies and I was very sad actually....unable to understand why is that when I was a kid. Even now guys in Holywood do get younger ladies when it doesn't work anymore.
Well I learned it later. Directly in my face....sorry my teeth. Now things changed but women still didn't change too much of what they want...no matter how much money they make they still need a guy who makes ...ussually more. Again I am talking about N. America.
If I go home....in 4 years I would've had at least 10 relationships if I wanted...but at least one and good. I am happy I experienced in life different things and I had a normal life as well. Here its impossible, but its OK if that what it is I cannot change it...but at least I do have the perspective of going back. And I know what to do, because there I am in my own "teritorial waters" as a fish...I have the local knowledge, I speak the languages and I know how to proceed according to the local culture. And back home is still the thing that...She will be with you if she likes you, you don't need to be a "rocket-scientist" or Manager of who knows what. I don't know what you guys can do....here...
I didn't know its like this until I first put my foot in N. America...before whoever told me this stuff I could not believe it. Even know I am telling these stories back home and they laughing on me....the communication is axed by the facts which are beyond those people understanding......"it just cannot be that commercial"..that's what I am told over and over again.
What seems to be here is that you need to be in high-school (maybe University..but that could be a bit late) and grow up with the girls and make your connections then.....because if you wait for later then its harder and harder. Why? Well because if a girl does not know you from the young ages then later she develops the "money gathering" thing based on her look, demand, dreams,..etc. Even if you have a connection...you guys experienced the pressure of a marriage at the highest levels in the world. Sure everywhere is some sort of pressure in the marriages but not like here. Here is gigantical.
I am not claiming I know everything ...but what I said its close..more or less with a little bit of errors...little ones. | |
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| Can Two People Really Meet and Begin a Relationship in a Forum?
Posted: 7/21/2008 12:53:33 PM |
Lightly-Lightly,
You have a pretty accurate picture of our sad state of affairs. Sounds like I might want to visit your country...which is it?
I can't say what country. But I will say Eastern Europe.
Poland, Czeh Republic, Slovakia, Hungary, Romania, the former Yugo countries, The Baltic Countries, Bulgaria, Russia. (here are TONS ).
I am reluctant saying where I am from, hope you understand. It could be many women here trying to stab me in the back...no kidding and I don't want to somehow hurt the image of a specific place for other guys.....Hope its fair. We guys have to keep our own code of respect against each other. | |
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| Can Two People Really Meet and Begin a Relationship in a Forum?
Posted: 7/21/2008 1:55:10 PM | Let's see. At one forum I've been frequenting for about five years, there's been (counts) something like ten couples form. About half broke up but that seems to be at about the same rate as the rest of the world.
The couples that are still together are among the happiest people I know. | |
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| Can Two People Really Meet and Begin a Relationship in a Forum?
Posted: 7/21/2008 3:57:59 PM | The only two people I've met on this site since joining a year ago and began a romantic relationship with both originated here in the forums.
There are several relationships I've formed here, though, whether we ever meet in person, or not, that feel like true friendship.....all found in the forums.....
One of my sayings has been 'friendships can last a lifetime while romantic relationships rarely do'... :(
Well, maybe I'll get to prove myself wrong....especially if the romantic relationship is based on true friendship.... :) | |
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| Can Two People Really Meet and Begin a Relationship in a Forum?
Posted: 7/22/2008 4:39:32 AM | {two , huh?...huhhm }
O, it is very possible....as a matter of fact, due to the ability to talk and listen to someone's view's on different things, makes looking at a regular dating site, sans forums...seem kindof like throwing a dart at a dartboard....
you meet someone in person, you talk and get their vibe, their input, right? not really that different here, except we are global....which is very cool, I mean, there's only so much to say to my neighbor talking over the fence.
Kimbo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |
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| Re: Can Two People Really Meet and Begin a Relationship in a Forum?
Posted: 7/22/2008 6:27:24 AM | mess 78 - Please tell me how your answer has anything at all to do with the topic of this thread? Also, I respectfully suggest, if you are measuring all Americans by what you read here on these forums, please know this is not a truly accurate view to measure all.....just as I would be foolish to believe you represent the feelings and beliefs of everybody in your country.
And I certainly would not view all people to be what you see in the old Hollywood "Entertainment" musical industry. Everyone knows Hollywood exists because of its ability to take people out of reality, quite often....it really rarely shows reality without some superficial "Hollywoodishness" added. :)
I say this, in defense, for I know I am not materially minded like the view you illustrate and laugh at with your friends back home.... and neither are my friends, both here and off the site...speaking of both female and male friends. It seems to me, there are so many out of 'virtuality', or off the site who's views are not expressed here because, in many ways, logically in my mind, it is those less materially minded people who would not be on a site like this, or forums like this....usually.
Why? Because dating sites in general without forums usually are all about getting impressions on a superficial level- it is this extreme limitation of them that means those who are not superficial to some degree do not set foot here.....they prefer to not even consider meeting another here who is more spiritually and less materially minded and hearted.
And yet, I have found many here who are not of the category you describe.
I think part of the real value of the forums is it is what provides those who are looking or interested in seeing a deeper aspect of the people here - to show who we are on a deeper level than just what the profiles seem able to convey alone. | |
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| Can Two People Really Meet and Begin a Relationship in a Forum?
Posted: 7/22/2008 7:07:03 AM | OP, it depends on what you view as a "successful relationship", but I have met, and had relationships from online. I've also met some women with whom a "relationship" didn't ensue, but I still viewed the opportunity to spend some time with as a positive experience.
Geography can be an "issue", but I have had a couple of LDR that lasted for quite awhile, and another that resulted in a "live with" for a time.
Over the 8 years, since my divorce, I have met some women in real life too. When I've been focused on "dating" to "date" and sort of in a hurry, I've met women in grocery stores and gas stations. All things considered, there is a greater likelihood of compatibility and some ongoing connection from online, although the reasons are very different.
Online, I can know quite a bit about the mind, attitudes, and goals of someone, prior to meeting, but have no way to predict physical/sexual attraction. Real life meeting, at least we know that there's some baseline physical attraction, but I have only a 2 minute conversation to go on, before we "meet after work for a drink", so we may well have absolutely no common ground.
It's that quest for the desirable, and compatible, "other" that makes the quest intriguing, interesting, and often fun.  | |
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| Can Two People Really Meet and Begin a Relationship in a Forum?
Posted: 7/22/2008 8:35:18 AM | To message 87:
If you cannot find in 4 years someone...you need to know lots of backgroud to understand why. Also hints for solution potentialy. Its almost always the case you need to cover more then the topic may or may not be touching. Its enough if a bit its to the point, that will highlight other angles of the stuff. | |
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| Can Two People Really Meet and Begin a Relationship in a Forum?
Posted: 7/22/2008 8:41:53 AM | I think we can find our match or our mate. The key is stop trying to find perfect. Perfect is so not out there. Find your best. List your deal breakers and what is really okay and not harmful. Live and let live and you might learn something. Embrase the differences instead of fighting them. It is all about compromise, learning and growing.
Distance works for some and not others. I have a friend that went to another country for a medial convention, met a woman, went back twice, brought her here and they now have about 5 yrs and 2 kids. They even have language as an obstacile. Worked it out. | |
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| Can Two People Really Meet and Begin a Relationship in a Forum?
Posted: 7/22/2008 11:32:44 AM | | I think people can meet ANYWHERE. Distance did not work for me, but I am not totally against it again. However, I will never relocate again for someone. I think my case was sad and extreme, but he is the one who lives with himself after doing what he did to me, not me. It is hard to try and get to know anyone over the net. Just because I am the same way in person and know who I am does not mean everyone else is, and that was my first mistake. Although mine involved enless phone calls and a couple visits, still to have hooked up with a Narcissist liar. (who is still on here claiming to be something he is not.) All I can say is go with your heart people, I know I do. I have had some rough learning lessons along the way about trust and letting my guard down, but I am fine now. Not everyone is a jerk. Just do what you ened to in order to make it work. We only live once. | |
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