| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 4/20/2008 8:05:19 PM | | Yee-haw... he lives in the area. Wouldn't HE be a funny one to just run into on the street? How does your WIFE feel about your extra-curricular activities, turtle? | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 4/20/2008 8:29:02 PM | | I sure wish my dad had been around during my active dating years... you know... the kind of dad that shakes your date's hand and tells you to have a good time, don't be out too late and not to worry too much cause he'll probably see us when we get home cause he'll probably still be cleanin' his gun... | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 4/20/2008 8:40:05 PM |
alittledarling1: I sure wish my dad had been around during my active dating years... you know... the kind of dad that shakes your date's hand and tells you to have a good time, don't be out too late and not to worry too much cause he'll probably see us when we get home cause he'll probably still be cleanin' his gun...
I'm sure my daughter will eventually come to appreciate that kind of dad... but I hope I have a few years before I have to be that dad. :) | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 4/20/2008 8:49:56 PM | | O.k. I am going to throw in my two cents on this one. My parents had a very turbulante relationship though they were married because of how my father had to work I didn't get to spend much time with him. Then when things finally mellowed out 4 weeks before my 15th birthday my father was killed. My sister who is older then me and myself grew up fine for the most part, but there was one thing lacking and it wasn't a father but a positive male roll model. I can say from experience from so of the people that my mother saw that not just a male. A positive male roll model is important to every childs development. It doesn't matter if it is your friend, their grandpa or uncle. A child just needs a positive male roll model or on the flip side for single fathers such as myself they need a positive female roll model. For fellow guys out there a positive female roll model for our kids is not the hot drunk blonde you braught home from the bar. A child needs postive roll models from both male and female parents aren't always roll model citizens and some parents will never be a bump in the road on the way to being a roll model, but still every child needs a positive roll model on each side of the track to say. | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:13:54 AM | | Just because biology says that youre a mother or father, thats means nothing. A parent is the one who raises the child, is there when the child falls down and cries. A child only needs one good parent. It is up to that parent to complete the child with the best advice and hope maybe they'll listen to some of it. | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/18/2008 10:49:11 AM | i completely agree and moreso depending on the individual personality of the child. My son ADORES, ADMIRES AND IDOLIZES his dad...mind you his dad is not the FATHER OF THE YEAR, he is a good soul and loves his son.
I believe that it is absolutely essential for a boy to have a strong and positive male role model...unfortunately the differences in the teachings of the different sexes do vary. | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:06:29 PM | | Yes boy need their fathers however you cannot force a man to be a father. He has to want to. Some men were just not cut out for fatherhood as some women weren't. What's your solution to that? Should the single women run out & find any man off the street to be the father figure? No. So what's your answer? | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/18/2008 4:19:17 PM | This is a myth. KIDS don't need a father. Hell, they don't even need a Mother. But what they do need is at least ONE healthy parent.
We were 8 growing up (4boys/4girls) without a drunken father in the picture. No one went to jail (ok.. I spent a night in the drunk tank when I was 17), and no one turned into deranged people. Everyone got an education, everyone works, we have two full family get togethers every summer at someone's cottage (50+ adults and kids) plus xmas (we get a hall), weddings, blah blah blah.
Trust me on this, I didn't have an adult male role model, yet I still learnt to open doors for women, lift something heavy for them, not hit them (even if hit), and my sisters learnt how to shop 
All kidding aside, if one parent is healthy (mentally and to a lesser extent physically), one parent is plenty. BUT if the other parent IS healthy (kids know if they are) and you try do alienate the kids, come hell or high water, they'll resent YOU (apart from fvcking them up royaly). This much is guaranteed.
As for my experience, it not unique. | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/22/2008 10:42:30 PM | Yes boy and girls need a father or a good positive male role model in their lives
I have parents that stayed together for the sake of the children.
I grew up with to unhappy parents living like roommates.
It was not a good example of a loving marriage
I have a older brother adopted. My mother did not think she could have chidren.
When my brother was 4 I was born. When I turned 2 my mother had twins.
My older brother did not have it easy,knowing he was only adopted one.
He did finally find his birth mother.. Not sure he will ever wish to locate his biological father.
I myself if could not have my own children ,I would have adopted.
My own marriage was wrecked due to husband that loved alcohol more than me.
Instead of staying in loveless marriage as my parents had. I choose to divorce.
I would have stayed and divorced after the boys were raised but not under the circumstances we lived under.
My own children did not need another bad example of what our marriage was.
Children need parents that are good expamples ,wether biological or not.
Children learn how to treat other people especially the oppositite sex thru their mother and father. I believe best for children to have biological mother and father in a loving marriage. Unfortuneatly not all children have this.
My children do however grandparents that do live in a happy marriage as an example and they love to go visit them . I dont blame them at all. | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/23/2008 7:33:58 AM | Sad that we look to the previous generation to set an example of what it takes to have a successful setting.
So many posts in here keep mentioning drugs, alchohol and abuse as the reasons for not staying in a relationship. Most of those same posts state that "I" will be more careful in my next relationship. Sad, so very sad.
If only we could have been that careful the first time. ( sarcasm )
This may sound off but had I known that I would be in the current situation I am in. I wish she could have been more careful in ours and realized that " we " weren't as committed to each other as she was to having a child.
She could still be seeking the " right guy" and I wouldn't be a weekly cash bonus for her to pay off the mortgage on " her " house.
That I imagine comes off like I wish my son wasn't born at all but I can only influence his life from the outside. I do not get to live with him nor he with me and because of that I worry that he may become one of those "statistics".
Is that fair to him? I think not. | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:29:24 AM | I agree that children need fathers if that person is around for them, but if not then they certainly need good male role models. My ex has chosen not to be in the kids lives, he has only seen them a handful of times in the last 7.5 years, the most recent time was 2 years ago. Obviously he is not there for them. On the other hand they see poppa, and their 2 uncle all the time. My brother became the beaver leader of the troop my oldest kids were in, takes them camping and fishing. Poppa takes them to work on cars, home maintenance, in the shop etc, the other uncle is the video gamer, pal to them. They do not have their father in the picture, but they do not lack males in their lives. No they don't see them every day, but at 3 times a week they are with one of these family members having a good time.
So sure kids need fathers, that doesn't mean I am going to run out and shack up with the first guy that comes along to give them that. Instead I will continue to make sure they are with good male role models as often as possible until I find the right man for me. | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/24/2008 6:45:46 AM | Boys need a male role model.... not necessarily their own father!
My son could sure use some guidance from a man, since he doesn't get any from his father (he rarely sees him). I'm not so sure if I made a BIG mistake by staying single for so long. I didn't want anyone in my life until I was ready for a relationship. Now, I'm starting to feel like I took away an important relationship from my son, by being selfish (thinking of what was best for me).
My married friends (males) enjoy my son's company since he has a very funny sense of humor. I know that my son (14) has reached the age of maturity where he is bound to have questions that he won't want to ask me about. I've bought some books & I know he's read them. But, even though a book can tell you some things, a lot of other things would be learned by watching how men treat a woman!
I was thinking of adopting a fully grown, possitive male role model for my son at one point...haha | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/28/2008 8:29:53 PM | CHILDREN... Boys or girls don't NEED a mother or a father per say! They need great people in their life who care deeply about them and love them with all their heart!
I guess it is all in the way you look at it!
Personally ONE great parent can raise a great child. That person could do a hell of a lot better job then some "couple's". | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/28/2008 9:20:18 PM | They may not NEED them, but I would argue that so far jacksongguitar has hit closest to the mark. In that children with both a positive male and a positive female involved parental figure(especially in the most formative years)v are more likely to be better off than a child with just a single supermom or superdad.
EDIT: Funny how my spell-checker passed "supermom" but threw a fit over "superdad" as a possible correct word. Says something about our society doesn't it? | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/4/2008 8:50:30 PM | This is a myth. KIDS don't need a father. Hell, they don't even need a Mother. But what they do need is at least ONE healthy parent
==================================
One LOVING parent Sam!
And a manhater is not a loving parent. A manhater abuses her sons till they flee to the streeets and get in with the wrong crowd, the crime, and the drugs. And, when the police and social workers haul the son back home and demand that the mother explain herself, she plays the blame game and blames the lack of positive role models.
It's the presence of NEGATIVE female role models, and not the absence of positivle male role models that causes most of the problems. | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/4/2008 9:34:12 PM | Oh boy... welcome to the troll-fest, crayonzz.
52 year old male, no kids, doesn't want kids, dozens of posts today, including a whole series in the single parents forum, most are, SHOCKINGLY, inflammatory.
I'd ask if you don't have anything better to do, but the question answers itself. | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:16:16 AM | Inflamatory?
Take a look at half the posts on the board and see whats really inflamatory. | |
|
~Kyn~
|
Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 543 | |
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:19:39 AM | Just thought Id throw this in there.
Most man-hating mothers Ive seen...usually think the sun shines outta their son's asses.
JMHO | |
|
Durken
|
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 544 | |
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:32:39 AM | Yes, children need a good mom and dad together! Just having a male or female family member as that 'takeover' role model doesn't get it because nobody else will have that "unconditional love" which a child needs to understand for their own good marriage and prosperous children in life. Yes, I realize there are those who say they turned out just fine from that but do you really want that same life for your kids too? They're the ones who generally either end up just living together having babies, gets a lousy marriage, or stays a single parent forever and you wonder how many benefits they've had.
A good family concentrates 100% of their time on just themselves so when a single person asks for help....you're taking away from their family time and while most don't have a problem with helping a little. After a while, in the back of their head, they're asking themselves...."geeeez, when are you gonna get off your ass and find someone good to marry just like I am!!! | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/5/2008 8:10:57 AM | I agree with 540 and 543. Take any gang shooting coverage when a young man is killed and they interview the mother (usually single), "oh why did kill my precious, he was an angel"
Not that you shouldn't think that your child is special but a bad kid is a bad kid. | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:32:20 AM |
Most man-hating mothers Ive seen...usually think the sun shines outta their son's asses.
no no no...that's not true....all mothers of boys think the sun shines outta their asses. :~) | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:38:38 AM | Not if they're abusers like my soon to be ex-husband... I really think he would kill a baby if he got ahold of one :(
Better to have no dad than one who will beat the kid up. | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/6/2008 11:32:59 PM | flip the coin
there are single men raising children and doing and excellent job
there are single mothers that do an equally excellent job
there are parents the simply should not be parents.. we are not talking gender here
I see a lot of angry posts about step parents . I cannot believe all step parents are evil.
The State ,the village should be parents support it should not take the place of the parents. The village may help care for the child and educate them but it is up to the parents to raise their children.
Dont get me wrong there are women just as horrible as men are. I can only write from my own expierence.
Do you think foster children come from a marraige between a loving man and woman committed to each other in love?
I still think it is best children to have a mother and a father ,even better if they are married. Deep down inside I don't know many girls that do not want a father and many boys that do not want a mother.
the basic marriage of one man and one woman leave the mother and father and become one flesh in marriage, the woman body belongs to the man and the man's body belong solely to the wife , they should not have sex outside the marriage and should be willing to commit themsleves to each other for life
Then God encourages them to procreate and fill the planet with life.
but that is not what is happening today, I know a girl by age 18 had 3 children. I know another women 3 children 3 differnt fathers.
a former basketball star , he has 10 children but eight differnt mothers and is not married to a single one.
People die ,people get divorced .. but in the above neither of those things happen
And who ends up paying to help raise these children?
I think it is hard to be a good parent or spouse with so many temptations , that many of them more soically acceptable and accessible than before. I don't think I have to spell out the list of 10 deadliest sins.
Boys need their father,more importantly children need good parents
I have learned you can be a product of your environment or a person of your choosing
| |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:24:16 AM | No child male or female needs a man to play daddy or a woman to play mommy. A woman can raise a perfectly healthy well adjusted boy just fine on her own. Sure she might have to use outside help like coaches, sports lessons, etc. But if she's willing to participate in her child's life, and willing to learn some things she didn't know about before, she'll do just fine. I raised two daughters with no female assistance, and they are as well rounded as any child can be. Did I have to attend cheer leading clinics, learn about beauty pageants, learn to enjoy shopping and which shoes were cutest out of the 100 pairs they tried on? Yes I sure did, and if I didn't know the answer I found someone that did, whether it was the family doctor, school nurse, counselor, coach....
It's all about participating in your kids lives. I know too that some parents male and female alike are denied rights even though they are great parents. Here in the states sadly family court is simply a cash cow and honesty, decency, and fairness are rarely to be found there. I think our system should be completely scrapped and family court judges should be restricted to no more than 5 years in a lifetime. I also think all court hearings should have a 5- 10 member panel of people that can stop a judge dead in his or her tracks when legality and fairness are being misplaced by well paid lawyers and country club pals. | |
|
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/7/2008 4:05:31 PM | ok so what do u want a single parent to do if the other parent doesnt want any part of the parenting game???? Im a mom/dad to my child and guess what its working!!!! and my child will tell u the same!!!!  | |
|
Home
login 
