sireel
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Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 551 | |
| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/7/2008 8:59:34 PM | Absolutely yes.
Furthermore, I think we should decriminalize fatherhood and give them equal rights over their children both before birth and after.
Also, the modern marriage contract should be revamped to require some form of commitment on the part of women too. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:38:38 PM |
no no no...that's not true....all mothers of boys think the sun shines outta their asses. :~)
 for sure! There isnt a boy in this world who is better than mine :)
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:03:12 PM | Well, sireel is nice and bitter.
Any of you sweet ladies want to step up for a piece of that "intimate encounter" action? | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:58:31 PM | | As a single mother raising a boy (alone, no "father" involved), I'd like to hear from some men who have been raised by their mothers. What are your opinions? Do you regret that your mom was alone? Did you have a "father" figure to look up to? What about a step father or an uncle? Are there any males out there that were raised in a primarily female household? | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 6/11/2008 1:46:38 PM |
Are there any males out there that were raised in a primarily female household?
Yep, and it sucked, I went from wanting a father, no scratch that, I had a father, what I wanted was a Dad as a young boy, to I needed a father, to kick my ass straight and teach me what being a man really meant as a teen.
While I turned out alright eventually (so I think at least) I spent alot of years as a young boy/young teen, being angry & resentful that I didn't have what most of my friends had, that I had missed out on something that left a void that has never been filled, and of course never will.
Boys need Dad's ........ | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/3/2009 11:06:22 PM | no i wouldnt like to be a dad to someonelse child which isnt my child biological the single mums are doing fine what they are achiveing with there lifes and they should be proud of them selves for what they do they dont need a daddy for there children its the  :modhammer: thye are fine what they do and spend with there kids ive tried that one before they are possiseve jelouse and never look upon them ever again they make you pay end meats and asking $ and some thing lieing about child support and the guy knows hes not the real father and hit them up for someelses child supportwhich dosent belong to him | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/4/2009 3:36:32 PM | | I agree that children need both parents when both parents are willing and able to develop healthy (non-abusive) relationships with the children. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/4/2009 9:11:35 PM | | it would be nice to have my 7 year old son to have a father in his life but he is learning from me i do what amom and a dad does he doesnt need a man even though he yearns for one a daddy he asks me all the time why he doesnt have one its not fair to him but he knows i love him as much as 2 parents can love him being a single mom i take him to monster truck rallys and nascar races i teach him the guy stuff like sports and stuff and i teach him to be polite and considerate in my opinion he will grow up to be a gentelman and be a good dad because he knows he never had one and he will be a better father then the dead beat jerk that was once his daddy when he was one years old. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/4/2009 9:16:35 PM | | i understand a boy needs a daddy and i feel really bad that my son doesnt have a dad he hates it he always wonders why he doesnt have one and his cousins do its not fair to him today is his 7th bday and said all he wants for his bday is a 4 wheeler and a daddy i cry so much i dont want to just pic a guy out of nowhere to be his dad men have been nothing but disapointments in his and my life his whole life i dont want to do that to him again bring a man around have him get attatched and just leave us its not fair to him i think single moms can teach boys the man and woman part to my son i am his mom and his dad im sad for him but i am hoping hell stop wanting a dad but i dont think that will ever happened but until i can find a dependable long as a live guy for us hell have to just have me im sad for him i really am. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/5/2009 9:13:20 AM | | It gets better pink. My son cried and cried over his dad for years. used to say I hope my dad is home when I get there. Then one day he was. And it was disappointment after disappointment for a year thereafter. Finally my son decided he wanted nothing to do with him. Now he asks me for a step dad. I asked him why and he says as a matter of factly "My dad isn't here and doenst' want to be, and I don't really want him here, but I want a daddy" He is 9. Sad yes, but was the way it played out better in the long run? Probably. Just don't speak ill of the guy to your little one and just love him. He will be ok. **huggs** | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/5/2009 3:09:17 PM | | Kids have role models besides their parents. U have to be living under a rock to think parents are the only one that influence kids. I am a single mom, and my little guy opens doors, and is very chivalrous. Where he got it i dont know. He like boy stuff. He a boy and likes hanging with the guys, but i have a good circle of people and the kid is not exposed to crap. Seriously, a child raised in couple with a dysfunctional relationship vs. child in a happy single parent home. This is just stereotypes. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/5/2009 4:39:15 PM |
andtell him it is ok if he doesn't have a Daddy who is around all the time
That is something I personally would never have said to my son. It is NOT ok that his father chose not to be a part of his life. I just don't comment on it. He is older now and I can assure you that he has his own feelings about growing up with a father. It is NOT ok in his books either. He is in a better position to be a Father now when he becomes a Father....he won't think it is ok to abandon his child.
Yes, other male role models can provide role models for male children and a child raised in a single family home by a Mom can actually grow up and be a well-adjusted young man. I agree wholeheartedly...
However, there is NO substitute for a good father or a good mother. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/5/2009 8:09:56 PM | I agree with itsall...
It is NOT ok for his daddy to not be in his life. It is just his choice. I used to tell my son that I didn't know where his dad was or why he didn't call. Because it was the truth! I never said that is was ok for his dad to do this. I did tell him that people make choices. Sometimes they are good choices and sometimes they aren't. I never told him which type of choice his father made. I would tell him I didn't know why his dad made the choices he did. And then I reassured him that I would never leave him and I will always be here for him. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/5/2009 8:34:18 PM | | I definately think boys need male role models to give them the nod of approval and encouragement only a man to a man can give. I am a single parent (4 Kids) 2 boys 2 girls. My boys have a dad who has put little or no effort into his boys and i see them now teens crave male approval and attention and they look for the respect and bonding they should be getting from their dad, going to the gym with mom just isnt the same. There are just certain testosterone moments only 2 male family memebers can share and appreciate and moms will never quite get. Some boys may relate well to thier mothers but i think most guys share a different relationship with their fathers and if they dont get what they need will look outside the family unit and that can be dangerous. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/5/2009 8:52:35 PM | To all the single moms out there i must say i thought the same way as you and had and have a great relationship with my son but it is much easier when they are young to compensate for no dad.The real stuff happens as teens and depending on the temprement of the child but most need that father figure . A male role model is not the same as a dad unless he assumes that position and is good at it and has gained the respect of the child at an early age. Believe me i speak from experience, i have 2 boys and 2 girls and its a completely different need for the boys.
A note to got 2 be me
I agree, i have a son in the same boat, too bad as his dad only lives 3 mins away which i think is worse than if he were out of the picture entirely. Problem i have is noone gets it but me and its hard to watch him go through it but hes a good kid at heart. Nice to hear you came out the other end in good shape, thats encouraging. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/6/2009 12:41:41 PM |
A note to got 2 be me
I agree, I have a son in the same boat, too bad as his dad only lives 3 mins away which I think is worse than if he were out of the picture entirely.
I assume you meant me ..
I feel for your boys, and all children growing up without a dad.
And your right they will seek out male approval where they can find it, and that won’t always be in good places either. Trust me I know.
From 15 to 19 I probably put my poor mother through some of the hardest years of her life, only to be followed by my younger sisters also seeking male approval in all the wrong places, all due to a father that didn’t know what it meant to be a dad, nor was he interested in trying to be one.
We all came out alright, it wasn’t easy but we made it, like your boy, we were good kids at heart but we were missing something, and so we went looking for it in not always the right places.
Good luck to you and your boys, some days will be harder than others, but with a lot of love, patience & understanding ya’ll should be able to get through those tough times.
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/6/2009 5:31:19 PM | Agreed, definitely.
that's why I don't plan on having any unplanned children. =) | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/6/2009 6:59:16 PM | YES, boys need fathers. I discovered that when my 2 year old at the time asked me to show him how to pee standing up.
Single parents male or female...wear many hats. I will never pee like a man, but I can hold my own in a wrestling match, and my nickname around the house is "mom the builder". But yes OP you are right, a man can bring something to a boys life that I never can.
Sucks to be single! | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/7/2009 11:05:27 AM | As a single mom who's been raising 6 children alone for the last 8 yrs., I agree, positive male role models are needed and can help young boys growing up. In my case, my boys want nothing to do with their father due to the physical and psychological abuses he put them and me through, but they hardly fault me for not having an active male role model around. They know and have assured me that they would rather stay be with me then with him and his new wife (who I might add is #3 in the line-up). I've had my brothers close by who help with most problems and who step in and tell these boys how they should and shouldn't treat me or any other woman in their lives, including their only sister. They've turned out ok so far. None of these kids have had gang, behavior or other police problems following them. I'd say, that's a good mark for me. They also know they might be the problem with me actively dating... hard to feel comfortable around a woman who has 3 sons over 18 that put him through the "what are your intentions" exam... *lol*  | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/9/2009 10:53:22 PM | | My baby was planned, the break up with big one was unplanned. this is life, divorace is 50 percent. so least i didnt have to get divorce, which to me is worse. Anyways i was raise by a single father of four kids cuz my mother died of an allergice reation, so if he can do it and we all turned out fine, I am confident I can handle my one. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/10/2009 7:48:10 PM | My boy has a father...who has never seen him...boys don't need fathers, boys need a male role model whether it be a dad, uncle, close friend. They need someone who will be by there side in life to do the 'boy' things with....and I now know that does NOT have to be a father.
Just my 2 cents ;) | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 2/10/2009 9:11:30 PM | Everyone, whether a female or male needs their mother and father. (except an abusive parent). Besides learning how each sex fits into this world, they get something from the male that they will not get from the female. They get different view points of the world as females have different ideas than males and visa versa.
When a natural parent is not available, then a positive, trusted sensible man or woman will be sufficient in the place of the missing parent.
Its been shown in many studies that girls that grow up without a father have a higher rate of early pregnancy and troubles with guys. Those girls that had a good healthy relationship with their father do not seek male comfort from other males. They do not crave a males attention because they get it from their father. Those girls without a father in their life tend to seek guys for affection and cravings that they do not understand and then end up pregnant. When all they really need/want is a father or father figure that they can cuddle with, hug, talk to and seek comfort from.
Boys need the male point of view because thats what they understand better because they are a man also. They feel connected with a male figure and feel more comfortable in discussing matters that they would not dream of or feel comfortable discussing with a female or mum. Yet they also need the affection of their mother, and the compassion and comfort that their mother can provide them.
My father died when I was 5 and yes mum remarried some years later to a wonderful man but, I still craved my father and still do to this day. There were plenty of things over the years as a young fella that I went to my step father to talk about or I went to my best mates dad who treated me like his son.
Just as a female might not understand why her son needs a mans input in his life, so do fathers not fully understand why a girl needs a womans input. It does not matter how good a parent you are. You can never make up for the input of the opposite sex.
Mums are mums and dads are dads.. Thats all there is to it.
Single mums can not be a father as well as a mother to their children, they can only be MUM and its a mistake to try and compensate by being dad for the missing father.
Single dads can not be mum to their children, they can only be dad. | |
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