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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 4/30/2007 8:28:12 PM | | A sweet fishy...now for the ex's side the story...sounds like your definitely still have alot of anger toward him. I am not too much for bashing on the threads because that person could just be hurt by the other leaving them,cheating on them etc. I hope this is the case since it would be much less of a bad thing than being hit or raped. My ex gave me 4 stitches once,broke my finger while I was driving,etc. but I am not going to go on about it in the threads unless she is here. I just don't think it is fair for the other party not to be able to defend themselves on a thread. My prayers are with you, a sweet fishy...to get the healing and comfort you really need. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 4/30/2007 9:06:17 PM | Of course I still feel anger. Absolute blood chilling fear....even now, hate for all the pain he caused. No one has the right to ever brutally torture another person. Honestly, I don't care if he can defend himself or not. How could it possibly matter if he was hurt by my leaving after what I went through? If I had ever cheated he WOULD have killed me! If anyone he knows read any of this they would know it was truth anyway. If any woman who was a potential future date of his ever read this I would hope it could save her some pain by making her think before getting involved. Every woman he has ever dated (I am the only one he married) has told the same stories of abuse. I was on a thread discussing why some parents should not be allowed in their child's life even if they have never directly harmed the child. In this case, I know I am doing what is best for my son.
As far as healing goes, I have healed to the point I can happily raise my children, go on with life, have supportive friends and family around me, but I will NEVER fully heal. He was the last episode in a long history of abuse in my life that I finally was able to end. I honestly thought I had stopped fearing him until last summer. I had to go to court for a traffic accident I was involved in. He was in the court room (I was not there when he went before the judge but was told by a friend he went to prison again). By the time I was standing in front of the judge I was shaking so hard I couldn't hardly speak. I was finally able to leave and broke down because even in a crowded courtroom I was terrified of him. There are some things no amount of counseling can heal. No amount of time can heal. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 4/30/2007 10:17:00 PM | | If the father is some abusive ****ing loser junkie who would only do harm to him... Then I dont' mind playing mommy and daddy! | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/1/2007 10:45:57 AM | | I totally agree that a child would be better off with 2 parents. However, and this is a big however...children can turn out just as well coming from a single parent household. I am raising a son by myself, and I'm doing my best to teach him what he needs to know to become a good, honest man. Sure, there are things that I can't teach him...like how to pee standing up...but as far as morals and values go...I am perfectly capable of teaching him. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/1/2007 12:04:01 PM |
I totally agree that a child would be better off with 2 parents. However, and this is a big however...children can turn out just as well coming from a single parent household. I am raising a son by myself, and I'm doing my best to teach him what he needs to know to become a good, honest man. Sure, there are things that I can't teach him...like how to pee standing up...but as far as morals and values go...I am perfectly capable of teaching him.
Though I agree with you that it is possible that a child can turn out just as well without a father in their life, statistically it is not the case:
http://www.stolenchildren.net/evidence/Fatherless.html
You'll note that the supporting comments and statistics throughout this informative website are from a variety of different sources...from private think tanks, fatherhood initiative groups, the Department of Justice, the FBI, the National Center for Health Statistics, and even Al Gore himself.
I would challenge any woman here who seriously believes that a father is unnecessary in raising a child to provide similar statistics and comments from reputable sources that say that children who grow up without a father are LESS likely to experience serious problems. Heck, I'll even take EQUALLY likely to experience serious problems for that matter.
So kudos to you if you can truly pull it off, but the odds are stacked against you. Should we really be taking these risks with our most precious treasures...our children???
I will agree that many times the reason a father is absent from a child's life is by their own choice. To that I say, shame on them! More power to you single mothers who are doing the best that you can raising your child alone by no fault of your own.
However, for those mother's who arbitrarily push their children's fathers out of their life with no credible reason (and not supported by factual law). Shame on you!
And yes, I do believe that children are more likely to experience serious problems without a mother in their lives. That's why I did not push my ex out of her daughter's life when I had every opportunity to do so. I simply did not have that right. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/1/2007 4:33:17 PM | Too bad there is not a website showing statistics on children who are raised by single fathers with no involvement from the mother. And it's also too bad there is not a website dedicated to the statistics of children who do come from single parent households and do just fine. Two very good examples that I know of:
Abraham Lincoln
William Jefferson Clinton | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/1/2007 8:25:56 PM |
Too bad there is not a website showing statistics on children who are raised by single fathers with no involvement from the mother. And it's also too bad there is not a website dedicated to the statistics of children who do come from single parent households and do just fine. Two very good examples that I know of:
Abraham Lincoln
William Jefferson Clinton
There are in fact websites that show statistics on children who are raised by single fathers with no involvement from the mother. I completely agree from what I saw it was not a good thing either.
As for the two examples of children who come from single parent households who did just fine? Huh??? Abraham Lincoln wasn't raised in a single parent household. His mother died of "milk sickness" in 1818 (when he was 9 yrs. old) and soon after his father remarried (to Sarah Bush Johnston). He was then raised by his biological father and step mother, the latter of which he was particularly close to.
Bill Clinton spent the first 4 yrs of his life without a second parent (after the death of his biological father in an auto accident), but his mother remarried (to Roger Clinton) in 1950.
Besides, even though each clearly achieved great and amazing things, they also had their significant demons to wrestle. Abraham Lincoln is reported to have suffered from severe depression. Bill Clinton had/has serious fidelity issues.
Even if one concedes that having a step parent instead of both biological parents is the equivalent to being raised in a single parent household (something I don't personally agree with) and that these two individuals should indeed be considered as "just fine," one has to admit they are by far the exceptions, rather than the rule. Is it possible to be raised in a single parent household and turn out just fine? Certainly. Is it likely? Doubtful at best, given the growing mountain of evidence to the contrary. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 1:51:38 AM | A very interesting but painful thread.
I've just ended three years of litigation to seek equal share parenting of my son which cost me my home, and set me back perhaps 15 years. Miraculously however, my son's mother decided just weeks before our custody hearing that we could equally share his care starting immediately, and it seems that the reason for her change of heart is that she just can't handle our son.
She telphones me in tears, and the little boy that she describes is nothing like the little boy whom I love and cherish, and who is gentle and well mannered while in my care.
She has finally come to the realisation that our little boy needs and craves me, and this has a lot to with his behaviour which used to start from the moment he saw his mum. I was the first to hold him when he was born, the first to dress and bottle fed him, bathed him every day, chose and laundered his clothes each day, and was with him 24/7, while his mother worked part time. Her suddenly leaving me for another man and taking our son must have been a huge shock for him...it certainly hurt me very deeply.
For three years I tried to get the courts, lawyers and psychologists to expalin to his mother that her strict control of his relationship with me and poor attitude at access changeover was effecting our son's oppinion of her.
After 3 years, she has virtually thrown in the towel, and has even said she thinks our little boy hates her. I am now in the position where I have to forget what I have lost, and concentrate on our son's future, and that means listening to and counselling my X partner, helping her to develop parenting and relationship skills, while not letting her male relationships or lavish lifestyle effect me.
Yes....my son definately needs his daddy. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 5:43:08 AM | In your case thornz, i say let the beech drown in her own world if shiiit! My ex too is digging her own grave with my son. Soon and very soon she will lose him. Just to the simple fact that by controlling him in such ways he has come to hate her.
A child no matter what make, boy or gurl, absolutely needs a POSITIVE male influence. Whether i is a father or whatever. They need a positive male influence. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 5:57:45 AM | ThorNZ: I sympathize with you completely on the time and effort you have expended simply to do the right thing by your child. Your situation sounds similar to mine, but I was fortunate enough not to have lost three years with my child (only after great emotional and financial expenditure, of course). I know we're supposed to be just gruff, unfeeling guys who should be punching eachother's shoulders rather than getting mushy with eachother, but my heart truly goes out to you!
I have been accused during this thread of merely "throwing out the cash to get what I wanted" when it came to securing my child's right to know her father while growing up. I imagine you can attest that it really isn't about the money, its about doing what's right for your child. When I walked in to my attorney that first day of my divorce process I gave her three priorities 1) secure my relationship with my child, 2) get this over with as soon as possible, 3) keep me from getting screwed. I then told her that ONLY the last two were negotiable and could be readily sacrificed for the 1st.
You are an even better person for your willingness to help and counsel your ex to have a better relationship with her son. Again, I imagine that you realize that its in his best interest to have a healthy, positive relationship with both his parents. I could probably learn a thing or two from you. Kudos to you!
I like your motorcycle in your profile pic, btw...I'm looking for something similar myself. Sell me yours? | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 6:22:05 AM |
I read all the posts and everyone says the same thing,boys don't need the Father,just a good male influence...Well,let me throw a wrench in this theory...Step-fathers...hmmmmm...I grew up with one my whole life,so coming from experience he wasn't the same. He cared for my physical needs as a child,but the physical needs is only a small portion of the total child..and a small one at that. Now also...most sexual abuse,don't have the % available this instant,but did learn about it while in school is from step-fathers,not real fathers. The fact is,yes,step-fathers are better than nothing...but the real biological ( and non-alcoholic,non-drug user) fathers is absolutely the best possible thing in a child's life. I know that there are hypothetical situations to deviate from this and some beyond our control like absenteeism and death. Divorce sucks...let's face it,most of it is for selfish reasons and if you just stayed for the kids,well...sacrifice is hard sometimes,but well worth it.
Well in my case I grew up with my stepfather and it is was not the same as with your own father, but my father had the choice to stay part of our lives and chose not too. So I guess real biogical fathers wasn't any better than my stpefather. I believe it is ideal for kids to have both parents in their lives even if they are not together, but some parents don't relate or communicate with kids so where is this so much better? It is not only boys that need their fathers either, it is just as impt to girls. Too bad some parents lack in their roles.
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 12:43:59 PM | "onlychild" you confuse me .. you and your sister? AM i the only one not understanding that ..haha
But I completely agree, a child needs positive role models (Male & Female) i dont believe it has to be a mother / father. The key is positive role model. Yes you learn your morals values and even habits from your "parents" but most of our "children today" look OUTSIDE the family circle for a role model.. Sports Coach, Teacher, Chruch Pastor, ect...
its not WHO , but HOW you raise a child  | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 2:25:33 PM | [When I walked in to my attorney that first day of my divorce process I gave her three priorities 1) secure my relationship with my child, 2) get this over with as soon as possible, 3) keep me from getting screwed. I then told her that ONLY the last two were negotiable and could be readily sacrificed for the 1st]
I have done the same thing myself and I continue to work on #1 .
I like to hear that others feel as strongly and will speek out ,we havent in the past and have paid dearly for it . | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 2:39:54 PM | | I am a new mom to a 6 month old boy and I see both point of views seriously. I have a bad situation where I am in and I did not know my sons dad was married, had 3 kids and was 42 when I was with him. I know know and am forever greatfull for him because of my son. I am at same time in now way shape or form, want him being a role model for my son. I think and know that children do not need both parents. I grew up not knowing my dad and I am a healthy 25 year old lady that is happy with life. I also am raising my son on my own and my son is happy as can be. He is healthy and a happy boy. He gets all what he needs and extra. I do think though that children need a good male or femaile role model... So if you r a single mom, give your children good male role model... And for the single dads, give your children good female role models. That way they see the world from both sides... Not just the one sex... I also want to praise ALL the single parents out there that take care of there children on a daily basis. WE HAVE THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD.....NEVER TAKE IT FOR GRANTED..... | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 2:52:44 PM | I haven't read the other opinions yet, but I'm going to dive in and give mine anyway! I think when discussing this topic, you go in order of what's "Ideal". I think ideally a child would have a mom and a dad who are both really great parents. However, that's a perfect situation. After that you have lots of scenarios. I've met people whose parents were married for 30 years and they had a miserable childhood. Just because their mom and dad were both there did not ensure a great upbringing. Maybe mom/dad has issues etc. Sometimes it's almost better if a parent is out of the picture altogether IF they are completely unable to parent in any healthy form (That's extreme of course). I've seen people who were raised by single parents and felt they missed out on a lot. I've had friends raised by single parents who quite honestly had a better relationship with their parent than those raised by both. It all boils down to what the relationship is between the child and the parents. A lot of times you have a mom or dad who lives in the house but is not really "there" for the child. In that case, other adults who are parental figures would be beneficial.
As a single mom, I have made a point to keep my kid's dad involved as much as possible because I do believe it's best so long as there is no reason to prove he's detrimental to the kids. When I was a child, my dad wanted the divorce and my mom was so angry that she really pushed him out of our lives altogether. My husband also made the choice to divorce me, but I decided from the start that his decision to divorce me did not have to effect him being a dad to the kids. Until I see some evidence that he is dangerous or bad for the children, I think he should be as involved as possible, because as you say, it is best for kids to have both IF possible. Now if Dad was not good for the kids, I'd completely go the opposite direction, because no influence is better than a bad one. However, my ex husband has actually been a BETTER father after the divorce, than he was before. Truthfully, he has to make plans now ahead of time to see the kids so they actually get more quality time than they did before. My children really see more of their dad now than before, and I think he appreciates the time spent with them now. They do however , have other adults in their lives who are parental figures. I think that is really great for children. I believe the more love they have, the better!
Sorry that was so long..... | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 3:10:54 PM | Desperodo: Thank you. Not unlike the women's rights movement, the father's rights movement may have its challenges, but we will eventually be heard.
suzukigirl/mary_noah1: While I don't disagree with what you are saying conceptually, again I have to say that if you do not have both biological parents involved in the child's life the odds are the child is going to have serious issues. I add to my earlier posting with statistical evidence of problems with fatherless children the following:
"After aging out of foster care, 27% of males and 10% of females were incarcerated within 12 to 18 months. 50% were unemployed, 37% had not finished high school, 33% received public assistance, and 19% of females had given birth to children. Before leaving care, 47 percent were receiving some kind of counseling or medication for mental health problems; that number dropped to 21% after leaving care." (Courtney and Piliavin, 1998)
The National Adoption Center found that 52% of adoptable children (meaning those children in U.S. foster care freed for adoption) had symptoms of attachment disorder.
Again, these are just two additions to what I posted earlier. I think its great if everything is going well in someone's single parent household, foster household, adoptive parent household, step parent household, etc., but that is the exception and certainly not the rule.
So yes, by all means if the courts decide that it is in the best interest of the child that the parental rights of the father (or mother for that matter) should be restricted/vacated, then one had to do what they can to raise their children, with or without a balancing influence. More power and my best wishes to you.
However, if neither parent has done anything wrong (as determined by the courts) it is in the child's best interest, nay it is their RIGHT to have BOTH parents actively and positively involved in their lives. Differences in opinions on how to parent notwithstanding. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 3:52:09 PM | "After aging out of foster care, 27% of males and 10% of females were incarcerated within 12 to 18 months. 50% were unemployed, 37% had not finished high school, 33% received public assistance, and 19% of females had given birth to children. Before leaving care, 47 percent were receiving some kind of counseling or medication for mental health problems; that number dropped to 21% after leaving care." (Courtney and Piliavin, 1998)
The National Adoption Center found that 52% of adoptable children (meaning those children in U.S. foster care freed for adoption) had symptoms of attachment disorder.
Alright, maelstrom, your ignorant drivel is getting very nauseating. You are now citing statistics on FOSTER CARE. That is a far cry from a single parent household. Also, you have made your point about the fact that my rape and abuse at the hands of my husband meant nothing because it was not court documented (and let's not forget the fact that it was my husband made it better in your eyes, too). You do not have to continue repeating your stupid "court ordered" shit. Everyone gets your point.
I made damn sure my son had a positive male influence, not the man who could rape and impregnate me......YES, his fatherhood was dependent on his ability to ejaculate, as I said earlier. Unfortunately, my husband will not teach my son to beat his wife, rape her, control her, and abuse her daily, he will also miss out on the ever important lessons on how to grow your pot to the best quality AND where it won't be found by the cops flying over and how to make meth in your kitchen. I suppose I have cheated him out of these very important lessons in life. However, I will take my chances with the dad he has. He is not his foster dad, he is not even his step dad. He is his DAD. Legally, on his birth certificate (thankfully that gets changed after the adoption), and in his heart. My husband did not have to hold me down and force himself on me to become a father and I am thankful my son does not have THAT kind of father in his life. I realize that if you had your way every abusive man would have full access to the children they produced with the women they abused, but thankfully my story ended much happier.
If you are so incredibly stupid you think all women who are abused are able or brave enough to report the abuse then you need to do some more reading and find out the truth. Just because there was not court documentation does not mean it did not happen. As I stated earlier, every woman he has been with has been abused and his own mother and sister are now admitting he is abusive, and apologized to me for ignoring it while we were married. He was given full visitation because I did not have the courage to stand in court and fight it........I was then and still am to this day far too afraid of him.
You have no desire to see any point but your own because you are an angry and bitter man. If you are so terribly concerned about the welfare of your child then get your ass back to her mother. Surely you, with all your briliant statistics, know you have damned your daughter to a less than perfect life by allowing your marriage to fall apart. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 6:06:59 PM | | They do. Having both parents gives the kid the best chance to succeed. ya know? They could get by without there father but thats all they will do, get by. ya know? They'll also likely become one of those nice boring guys that nobody likes. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 6:11:41 PM | Maelstrom....I can't quite figure out why you're pretty much in the same boat as women raising boys without fathers....and yet you are wanting to tell us how bad we'll screw our sons up. Live your life and do the best job you can, and most kids will be just fine. I don't give a crap about statistics. My sons are not statistics, they are my sons. And they are boys who have a great relationship with their mother, their grandparents, their friends. It takes a village, not just two people. I'm sure we could find statistics showing any kind of slant you wished for, whether it be the percentage of boys who end up in prison because their father was a crossdresser, or the percentage of boys who become CEO's of major corporations and were raised by single parents.
I wish you and your daughter the best of luck. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 8:55:31 PM |
Maelstrom....I can't quite figure out why you're pretty much in the same boat as women raising boys without fathers....and yet you are wanting to tell us how bad we'll screw our sons up. Live your life and do the best job you can, and most kids will be just fine. I don't give a crap about statistics. My sons are not statistics, they are my sons. And they are boys who have a great relationship with their mother, their grandparents, their friends. It takes a village, not just two people. I'm sure we could find statistics showing any kind of slant you wished for, whether it be the percentage of boys who end up in prison because their father was a crossdresser, or the percentage of boys who become CEO's of major corporations and were raised by single parents.
I wish you and your daughter the best of luck.
Slant that I wished for??? I'm just trying to provide factual knowledge here. I keep reading and reading and reading women here justifying THEIR decision to arbitrarily push the fathers out of their children's lives, with no credible reason other than THEY decided it was the right thing to do, no courts involved, no objectivity, just because they can.
Again, I welcome you to provide me with similar evidence that what I have said is NOT true. Not anectdotal evidence, not testamonial evidence (for I can provide an equal number of testamonials to refute any number that you provide), but hard, concrete, FACTUAL evidence that what I believe is not true.
Here's what I wish for: both the father and the mother agree that they love their child. That they have their child's best interest and ONLY their child's best interest as their number ONE priority. That even though they've been hurt by the other parent, can't stand the other parent, disagree with the other parent, would love to kill, punish, cause unimaginable pain upon the other parent....that they will forego all temptation to push the other parent out of their child's life....because it is the right thing to do...for their child's sake if nothing else.
If you "don't give a crap about statistics"....good luck with that. Tell you what, I'll provide you with a nice big pile of sand to stick your head in and in return I'll drink from whatever Koolaide you want me to and shut my brain off entirely. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 8:58:21 PM |
I wish you and your daughter the best of luck.
Thank you for the well wishing between me and my daughter...it truly is most appreciated. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 9:05:41 PM | | Well, I could go by statistics as well, just not official. Out fo the people I know growing up, the ones that ended up on the wrong side were the ones from living with both parents. I'm not saying that the kids from single parent homes didn't go the wrong way, but by numbers, far more trouble with both parents homes. So you could quote stats from 2002 and everything, I believe it all comes down to the home and how the family is run. If there's love and understanding and just being there for the kids, no matter if it's one or both parents, the children should be ok. It is interesting to read and learn other people's experience. I just wish there were more fathers out there like Maelstrom and the few others that spoken up in here. That's what the kids could use as well. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 9:35:09 PM |
Slant that I wished for??? I'm just trying to provide factual knowledge here. I keep reading and reading and reading women here justifying THEIR decision to arbitrarily push the fathers out of their children's lives, with no credible reason other than THEY decided it was the right thing to do, no courts involved, no objectivity, just because they can.
If you are so interested in factual knoweledge why did you ignore my valid question? YOU have a child growing up one of the statistics. Your child is at risk because you chose to end a marriage to the mother. Yet you condemn everyone else. That seems incredibly hypocritical, now doesn't it.
Where are the statistics showing that a child is BETTER being raised by a violent, abusive, drug dealing conviced felon as opposed to a loving, kind, hard working, decent man. You have shown that the only thing you see as important is one lousy sperm cell. | |
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| Boys need fathers...Period
Posted: 5/2/2007 9:37:12 PM | [post] Alright, maelstrom, your ignorant drivel is getting very nauseating. You are now citing statistics on FOSTER CARE. That is a far cry from a single parent household. Also, you have made your point about the fact that my rape and abuse at the hands of my husband meant nothing because it was not court documented (and let's not forget the fact that it was my husband made it better in your eyes, too). You do not have to continue repeating your stupid "court ordered" shit. Everyone gets your point.
I made damn sure my son had a positive male influence, not the man who could rape and impregnate me......YES, his fatherhood was dependent on his ability to ejaculate, as I said earlier. Unfortunately, my husband will not teach my son to beat his wife, rape her, control her, and abuse her daily, he will also miss out on the ever important lessons on how to grow your pot to the best quality AND where it won't be found by the cops flying over and how to make meth in your kitchen. I suppose I have cheated him out of these very important lessons in life. However, I will take my chances with the dad he has. He is not his foster dad, he is not even his step dad. He is his DAD. Legally, on his birth certificate (thankfully that gets changed after the adoption), and in his heart. My husband did not have to hold me down and force himself on me to become a father and I am thankful my son does not have THAT kind of father in his life. I realize that if you had your way every abusive man would have full access to the children they produced with the women they abused, but thankfully my story ended much happier.
If you are so incredibly stupid you think all women who are abused are able or brave enough to report the abuse then you need to do some more reading and find out the truth. Just because there was not court documentation does not mean it did not happen. As I stated earlier, every woman he has been with has been abused and his own mother and sister are now admitting he is abusive, and apologized to me for ignoring it while we were married. He was given full visitation because I did not have the courage to stand in court and fight it........I was then and still am to this day far too afraid of him.
You have no desire to see any point but your own because you are an angry and bitter man. If you are so terribly concerned about the welfare of your child then get your ass back to her mother. Surely you, with all your briliant statistics, know you have damned your daughter to a less than perfect life by allowing your marriage to fall apart. [/post]
Good lord, sweet...are you still here? Sheesh. Here's very briefly some thought on what you said. I have neither the time nor the patience to really deal with your diatribes:
1) My posting on foster care was "IN ADDITION" to my earlier posting on the results of fatherless households (specified that TWICE in my last posting). I also included adoption as well. Congratulations to you if you married someone who is an awesome "other father" to your child. I think that is quite noble of you. It doesn't erase the fact that you arbitrarily decided to push your son's real, biological father out of his life with no objectivity involved whatsoever. You may hate the courts, but they are there for a purpose, to protect the rights of eveyone, in particular your child. Instead, YOU went for what YOU wanted and you got what YOU wanted.
2) Whatever happened to personal responsibility? I thought that women wanted to be treated as equals to men.? You still have not adequately explained why the FIRST time your ex husband raised a hand to you (assuming he ever did) that you didn't call the police and/or walked out on him. I would have if someone did that to me. I thought we were equals here? If you want me to treat you as my equal, you should probably act as my equal, don't you think?
3) You seem to present a considerable amount of anectdotal and emotional evidence to support your state of affairs. I for one would like to actually hear some credible, factual evidence. Call me crazy, but that's actually how I like to deal with things in the real world... factually, honestly, credibly, that sort of thing.
4) Has anyone other than me clicked on your name in this train and found that you posted another string about your own father's personal interaction with your son. In that string you describe how you still have a relationship with your father, who you also describe as a child molester, and you allow your son interaction with him (albeit as you say always supervised). So let me get this straight, you decided of your own volition, with no credible evidence, to deny your son's father any relationship with his child (supervised or not), yet your own father (your child's grandfather) who is of your own accord a child molester, is allowed access to your child??? Huh???? Yes, I have heard what you have said about how you would never allow your father to be alone with his grandson, but are you honestly saying that a child molester having access to your son on any level is more acceptable than your son's own father, who was never been convicted of any crime against children (actually, he wasn't even convicted of a crime against you either) gets no relationship with his son whatsoever....simply because YOU decided it would be so?
I'm not going to even address the personal attacks against me ("bitter," "incredibly stupid," etc.) I will continue to speak my mind in a public forum and if you really wish to shut me down, you got to do better than that. Convince me that you are right is a very effective option.
Finally, surprise surprise...it was my ex who absolutely refused to continue marriage counseling and hired an attorney first to divorce me. What a shocker...she's also the one who attacked my relationship with my daughter first! So your attempted insult at allowing my marriage to fall apart falls as empty as the rest of what you say. | |
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