| | pregnant and drinkingPage 5 of 10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) | Yay another Fetal Alcohol baby for socitey to raise when it gets taken away from the mom.
Now that's a parent. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/27/2007 9:43:25 AM | | why not give up alcohol for 9 months.,....come on...we are all adults and know right from wrong....do u not care about your child enough to give up alcohol for 9 months...its not like u are giving up water....food...something u need on a daily basis...if u do need alcohol on a daily basis to function properly-then maybe u shouldnt be becoming a mom...SMH...it amazes me how many selfish people are out there. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/27/2007 10:39:16 AM | | maybe she was just fat. if it's not against the law and she wants to get drunk while having a bun in the oven and end up with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome...hey it's her life. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/27/2007 11:11:33 AM | The waitress may have been wrong by imposing her morals on this pregnant but the waitress was only doing what she felt was right.. Right? Wrong? We could debate this for pages and pages.. The waitress probably should of served her or discuss it with whom ever was in charge of her shift. Unfortunally there is no right answer to this situation because it is an personal choice. It's not illegal, morally wrong? Its debatable.
Some doctors will say it is ok to have a drink or 2 and even 3 throughout a pregnancy and another doctor with the same amount of education and number years of been a doctor will say its NOT ok.. It's not clear cut. The effects of 1 or 3 drinks can be debatable.. A child who was born who had a mom who had 3 drinks, as the child grows and develops, the child is developmentally delayed in someway, has behavioural problems, etc and etc.. Is it link to those drinks? It does happen, I am a very active in the disability centres where I live.... I have met these children..
I am not taking sides on this but for myself I wouldn't drink ... But I strongly believe that as long as a pregnant woman is getting proper doctor care and discussing with her doctor what she is putting in her body and taking her advice and educated herself before having that drink or 3 than its her choice.. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/27/2007 11:54:59 AM | "if its not against the law and she wants to get drunk while having a bun in the oven and end up with fetal alcohole syndrome...hey its her life"
ummmm, no not really.. its the life of the child
sure she has every right to drink, as it stands today, but its not just "her" life
if a woman was caught putting alcohol in her baby's bottle, she would very likely have that child taken away. I know this isn't exactly the same, but how is it much different?
the baby consumes what the pregnant mommy consumes. in smaller doses, but nevertheless... if, say, the woman had a few drinks, just imagine how much that baby has had to drink. the baby could be shi*faced. how can that be good for development?
we can all agree that what goes in mommy, goes in baby. True for food, drink, nicotine, vitamins. etc.. so if you just have one beer, although everything is somewhat processed on the journey down to baby, who's to say that what the baby gets isn't enough to get the baby drunk? Alcohol doesn't just skip the baby. there isn't a seperate "compartment" like we all say we have for dessert.. :) | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/27/2007 12:13:38 PM | | I agree hak531, I think the waitress did the right thing... But morally and legally what the waitress did was wrong, sad but true! I personally believe no amount of alcohol is safe but some will say different. We can debate this to no end but there is no 1 answer! It's the pregant womans body and her choice, not that I agree. As I said before it could effect the babies development then again, it might not. 1 or 3 drinks could affect a baby later in life with delayment in speech, congitive, or behavioural.. But its hard to link to having 1 or 3 drinks.. Thats why alcohol should be advioded or at least educate yourself before having that drink.. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/27/2007 12:14:05 PM | What a lot of people are not understanding is that sometime's it is the dr's that will tell you to have a drink once in a while, I mean was she ordering something srtong (say a shot or something like rum and coke) or was she ordering a beer or wine???/
There are people out there that HAVE to have a drink of beer or wine for their pregnancy no matter how much you want to believe it or not. You dont know if her dr told her to have a drink for something to do with the baby.
When I was pregnant like I said my daughter has slow blood flow from the plasenta to her, my dr told me to have a glass of wine at least once a week to improve this. Does that make me a bad mother, I think not, does that make me an alkie? I think not, did I drink exceivley, I think not. Did I drink rum and coke no I had a half a glass of wine from 10 weeks on because my dr told me to. Would my daughter have been born if I didnt? Who know's as a child can only go for so long without having blood flow to it's body. Yes drinking can cause FSD but sometimes not having a drink can cause to not have a child.
Is my daughter sick right now from me having a drink of wine once in a while? Nope, Is my daughter slow in anyway shape or forum, nope she is advaced for her age already. Would I change it if I could go back and not drink at all well I was pregnant still knowing what the problems were, nope wouldnt change anything. And again that doesnt make me a bad mother. So before doing this shit about "if you drink when you are pregnant you dont care about your child" Think about what the woman who is pregnant is going through. I mean if she has talked to her dr and he said to do it or not then that is her choice but if it was a choice of having a drink and giving birth to my chid or not having a drink and not giving birth to my child I am sorry but I am going to have that drink once in a while if my dr tells me to.
I am not condoning drinking well pregnant dont get me wrong but what you have to understand is that some dr's will advise you to have a drink or wine or beer once in a while. and I am sorry but until you can give me an ammount of "how much you can drink before FSD happens" then there is nothing wrong with having a glass of wine once in a while.
Before I found out I was pregnant and I was almost 12 weeks along I drank like a fish (because I never knew I was pregnant) did it do anything to my baby? nope. It is not like you know your pregnant before taking a test really right??? so what are you supose to do NEVER drink because you may be pregnant and not know yet??? | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/27/2007 12:23:29 PM | Nevaehs mom. Your point will just be skipped over. I mentioned the very same thing a few pages back. My sister was ordered to have limited dark beer or port throughout her pregnancy as well, and my nephew is well advanced physically and cognitively.
How many people did not know they were pregnant for the first few months, and ended up just living life like they normally would (drinking and such)? No person here is condoning getting smashed while pregnant. But there sure are a lot of people bashing the few that have the limited one drink or so.
Amazing that we are not all born with FASD, except for those few of us who were actually planned (whether within a marriage or not) | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/27/2007 12:46:25 PM | ^^^^^ I agree
The problem is that people only see one thing and that is the FASD and dont get me wrong I know it is something hard, but because the INTERNET say's that blah blah blah doesnt make it right. And Not all dr's are right when they tell you something either. If they were always right I never would have had my daughter. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/27/2007 1:34:47 PM | ^^^^^^^^I agree too
I did say as long as the pregnant woman is well informed and is discussing with her doctor what is ok and whats not and is well aware of risks and has the proper doctor care. Not all doctors have the same opinons weither its about FASD or a heart attack... Just like us we all have different opinons.
It's all about monitoration and proper doctor care and talking to your doctor about what is safe and what is not.. Having a few drinks under doctors advice is different than assuming yourself it is ok. I think thats where the line gets fuzzy.. Just because it was ok for Jane, it doesn't mean its ok for Jill.. Due to health reasons or pregnacy related reasons.. I am not saying that having 3 drinks during a pregnacy is all together wrong.. I am just saying it's best to not drink but if your doctor is advising you to do so, I would assume that that it would be discussed and monitored. What ever is best for that pregnacy.. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/27/2007 2:12:14 PM | I am absolutley appalled at some of the responses on here!! As a mother, it is my responsibility to ensure that the life of my unborn child is protected at all times. If that means giving up alcohol because there is a possibility, regardless of how remote it may be, of my child being developmentally/physically impaired, then so be it. If it means giving up fatty food, so be it. If it means doing whatever else I need to do to ensure the best start for the life growing inside me, I am going to do it. We are NOT talking about the woman's body. We are talking about a child, growing inside of her. When you become pregnant, you have a responsibility to that unborn life. Using that as an excuse to allow behaviour that may be potentially harmful is a societal copout.
I would definelty support the waitress in her moral decision. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/27/2007 3:08:20 PM | | Let's just be fair. Can we just ban alcohol for everyone since it's harmful. No alcohol for minors and pregnant women, and everyone else. Hell! Bring back the Prohibition. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/28/2007 7:31:13 AM | "With 3 kids pretty close together, I would have to ask why you did NOT breastfeed? Was it because you were drinking?"
I had to reply to this. This was a pretty cruel statement. Did you know, there is actually a 1% of all women who simply do not make breastmilk? I'm not speaking for this lady, but I am speaking as a part of that 1%. I do not make breastmilk, so I didn't breastfeed. For you to sit there and assume that she didn't nurse because she was drinking is pretty low. Assume - Making an Ass of U and Me. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/28/2007 12:40:52 PM |
why not give up alcohol for 9 months.,....come on...we are all adults and know right from wrong....do u not care about your child enough to give up alcohol for 9 months...its not like u are giving up water....food...something u need on a daily basis...if u do need alcohol on a daily basis to function properly-then maybe u shouldnt be becoming a mom...SMH...it amazes me how many selfish people are out there.
Exactly. Why would one even want to drink when pregnant. Having recently been pregnant and going to a clinic that deals only with pregnancy I posed this question to the 6 physicians employed there. Not one physician recommended drinking when pregnant. They recommend that alcohol be removed from the diet along with many other unsafe foods and medicines. I just don't see why anyone would risk it, knowing the risks, no matter how rare. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/28/2007 5:00:55 PM | I d support the waitress also...
I don't care how many people say"my doc said 1 glass of red wine....or a couple of beers.." thats crap! You probably also say that you were told"not to quit smoking also because the baby could go through withdrawls" I ve heard this one alot too.Total bullshit..
No amount is ever safe...so if you would like to of have a child with FAE/FAS have that 1 drink!! (everyone who has an outta the norm pregnancy and were told to drink skip by this, no offense to yous) | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/29/2007 4:49:55 AM |
No amount is ever safe...so if you would like to of have a child with FAE/FAS have that 1 drink!! (everyone who has an outta the norm pregnancy and were told to drink skip by this, no offense to yous)
And can you prove other wise???? Can you prove that any ammount is not safe? can you prove the ammount it takes before something happenes? Are you a dr to sit there and say that you shouldnt have anything to drink at all? I am sorry but I am going to listen to a real dr befor listening to people on here who cant even prove the ammount or how many children actureally do get FAS. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/29/2007 5:11:35 AM | | can u not hold off for 9 months....is your child not worth it....no i cant prove how much it will take to effect a child.....and either can u...so why would u do it???Do u need a drink that badly?Sure maybe one or 2 drinks wont harm the child....but what if its the 3rd and 4th that will.....why would u purposly do something that u know could harm your unborn child???Thats selfish..if women cannot go 9 months without a drop of alcohol for the well being of the child they are carrying.....then they need help!And have no business carrying a child. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/29/2007 5:30:36 AM | Sweet yes I could go for 9 month without drinking if I wanted to, I went for much longer without even being pregnant withought drinking thank you. But I had no choice weather to have a drink or not because I w0uld have lost my daughter other wise. Please dont get me wrong I am not saying that it is ok to drink when pregnant but if you are being looked after well from the dr and your dr tells you to have at least a glass of wine because it will improve he blood flow then I am sorry but yes I would do it if it was a choice of having my daughter here or not.
Thats selfish..if women cannot go 9 months without a drop of alcohol for the well being of the child they are carrying.....then they need help!And have no business carrying a child.
Dont get me wrong I know you are intitled to your own opionion but that was rather rude, I did have a few glasses of wine when I was pregnant and I am sorr but I had EVERY right to carry a child as I did what was best for my child so this comment only applies to people who were alckie's well pregnant. Are you all telling me that you all never did anything at all during your pregnancy???????????????????????????????????????? BS is all I have to say. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/29/2007 5:52:52 AM | | nope...never had a drink the whole time i was pregnant....didnt want one...or need one....i understand your situation...but i highly doubt the women going into the bar to order a drink was going through the same experience....and that is the type of women i am commenting on. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/29/2007 6:05:15 AM | While I agree that when a woman is pregnant she should take care of her body all that much more, I don't see anything wrong with having the occasional drink.
The key word is moderation.
However if this woman was a heavy drinker prior to pregnancy, her body is used to the alcohol and a few drinks wouldn't affect the baby at all.
In controversy, if this woman suffers from withdrawal, this could actually harm the baby.
Same goes for smoking.
P.S. I am on my 5th pregnancy and no, I don't drink or smoke, but I certainly understand the people who refuse to quit just because they are with child. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/29/2007 6:20:17 AM | Well I have to agree with you then sweet, that if you are going to to a bar to order a drink for just to have a drink all the time well pregnant then yes that is wrong.
I mean there is nothing wrong with going to a bar well pregnant but why not go and have a virgin drink then, that is what I did. I still went out to the bar every weekend (well it was more for kareoke) but I never drank, I would have my half a glass of wine (that started when I was 18 weeks along after going into pre-term labour and my dr telling me to) but right from the time I found out I was pregnant I still went to the bar but didnt drink. Just because you are pregnant doesnt mean that your life has to stop it just means you have to be more responsable.
There were about 6 of us there that were all pregnant but we just drank virgin drinks (our own little baby club) but there was one girl that use to drink every day and that I thought was wrong but it wasnt my place to say anything to her (even though I wanted to) she was lucky to have a healthy baby but who knows what the next few years may hold for her. That I agree is wrong! | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/29/2007 6:34:14 AM | JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE WITH CHILD?????????????
Seriously , you can't have that little disregard for a childs life. Whether there is a 100% chance or 0.1% chance of something happening to your child, why would you risk that?
As the sister of a woman who has FAS , I have seen the effects of it first hand. While you may think it is no big deal, this condition has perpetuated many others. She is incapable of making logical and rational decisions. She is grown and had a child of her own but also incapable of mothering him. Not being facetious here, but I challenge those of you who think its no big deal to drink while pregnant to spend some time with someone who is FAS and then tell me that to possibly give THAT kind of future to your child is fine.....
We as society have such a sense of entiltlement that we put ourselves above all others...having a child is such a precious gift. Even if there is a remote possibilty that alcohol will harm the fetus, there is still a chance.
As an added note, many GP's (Family doctors) who condone drinking when pregnant are not versed on its effects. It is very old school thinking. Its all about education. Educate yourself on FAS before you decide to play Russian roulette with a childs life. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/29/2007 7:19:19 AM |
We as society have such a sense of entiltlement that we put ourselves above all others...
That is a very astute statement. It applies both to the mother and the bartender.
I think its well established what we all feel about drinking while pregnant.
The key is the OP thought the bartender was well within her right to not serve the pregnant woman. The bartender chose to make a decision based on her moral ground. Thats fine, in this country you are afforded that right. What people don't seem to realize there is risk to such courses of action.
We somehow feel in this society that we should be able to do whatever we please and there be no reprisal or reprecussion for it. Thats not what "freedom" is. There is a price/risk to freely expressing yourself; in her case she got fired. If she was happy with that risk than I say bravo to her. If she felt or the OP felt it was unjust that she was fired.........thats proof of the above quote. | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/29/2007 7:24:42 AM | | I say rite on to not serving the pregnant woman...too many people in this world don't stand up for things that are important, and just sit back and conform or act like a freakin robot....and why the hell would any person want to start off a new life by feeding it alcohol anyway....these babies deserve the best start in life....if this woman ever bragged about the good care she'd be giving the baby, she'd already be contradicting herself by feeding it alcohol....and btw, the medical industry has made no conclusion YET to how much alcohol is harmful to a baby...they just guess at it...studies are actually NOT conclusive...so why would anyone take any chance at all in harming a child before its even born...they'll be enuff they'll have to protect it from once its in the outside world! | |
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| pregnant and drinking
Posted: 4/29/2007 7:26:18 AM |
As an added note, many GP's (Family doctors) who condone drinking when pregnant are not versed on its effects. It is very old school thinking. Its all about education. Educate yourself on FAS before you decide to play Russian roulette with a childs life.
I agree, I ve been on FAS/FAE task forces, focused on it in school, etc.. I am not a doctor, but have alot of knowledge and personal experience with fae/fas.
That drinking is completely frowned upon, yes 1 drink could affect your child, you may not know it till later on in their life though. We can't do the proper studies because their are so many factors. Smoking, drugs, it's all the same. If ingested it has the potential to harm your child..
So why do it?? Why then be irresponsible and promote it, or defend it? This is just irresponsible.. | |
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