| | ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...Page 2 of 23 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23) | A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments
Um...How do I get one of those???? | |
|
| |
| |
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 1:06:08 PM | I can see it happening once, maybe twice, tops. Beyond that, I don't know how you could separate "wow, I just love it when you do suchandsuch", (because it's a feeling) from wanting that feeling to occur again and again. Before long, wanting one thing (that feeling to occur again) grows into wanting more and more and then before you know it, you're growing used to that person and wanting to be with them more. It's such an intimate act that doesn't happen in a vacuum.
A certain connect has to exist, else you wouldn't keep coming back, and connections tend to deepen.
How many of us have sex without communicating? | |
|
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 1:14:06 PM |
I can see it happening once, maybe twice, tops. Beyond that, I don't know how you could separate "wow, I just love it when you do suchandsuch", (because it's a feeling) from wanting that feeling to occur again and again. Before long, wanting one thing (that feeling to occur again) grows into wanting more and more and then before you know it, you're growing used to that person and wanting to be with them more. It's such an intimate act that doesn't happen in a vacuum.
A certain connect has to exist, else you wouldn't keep coming back, and connections tend to deepen.
I've said it before,and,I'll say it again...
You're one smart cookie,FG!
Well written! | |
|
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 1:21:01 PM | I'd make sure as I do that she understands she is just a fwb and not my gf.
I'll bet the women are lining up at your door for such an unpassable opportunity, Moony.
Funny Girl, I can relate to your post. If something is pleasurable for two people, I don't understand why they would not want to repeat the experience. In repeating the experience, over and over, there is always the potential (and likelihood) of an emotional connection developing----on the part of at least one of the parties involved.
There are people who are, for various reasons, unwilling/incapable of developing emotional attachments, at that point in their lives. Unfortunately, if someone becomes attached to such a person, then heartbreak is on the way.
I know for certain that I could not have a sexual relationship with someone with whom I did not have an emotional connection. Hence, I would not be a successful candidate for a FWB arrangement. | |
|
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 1:44:20 PM | I don't believe it can happen. Sure there are one night stands but to have an on going sexual relationship there has to be an emotional bonding. Some friends can accomplish that, but still there is a degree of caring involved.
Now someone who is very self controlled, narcissistic or a sociopath might not ever show the caring emotions, but then they will keep you distant in all areas to keep it under control.
I had a relationship like that, with a man who had been in counter intelligence in the military for 20 plus years..(I fell head over heals and the passion was unbelievable)....And he also was very narcissistic by nature. He would never have admitted to me or himself he had feelings....nor would he allow them to show. It was me who was deeply in love. He knew this and also knew that was the "hook" he had in me. It was a long distance relationship and lasted for over 2 years. Not ever having been with someone like this before...it took some time to sort it all out and he eventually killed the desire to ever be with him again, in me. Do I still have feelings for him....yes....but would never allow myself to go back in that relationship again or anything that even resembled this. It was very emotionally damaging and hurtful to me.
I do believe some men are capable of this. Many years ago I worked with two married men who traveled and played around all the time. I asked one how he could refrain from emotional attachment and his reply was. "When I first sense the women are getting emotionally involved with me....I end the relationship"
I feel only those men who are very narcissistic or are sociopaths can maintain this type of life style. | |
|
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 2:00:28 PM | I think it can happen.....it has for me. Sex can be "just sex - just physical pleasure" and nothing more. For me anyhow. On a scale of 1 - 10 with ten being the highest rating I rate this a 6 or 7. The physical pleasure is great but after you feel sort of empty - not used but wishing for a deeper connection (NOT a relationship - I am not confusing the two). It is hard to explain.
Of course this is no where near as good as sex with someone you care for deeply. When you are intimate with someone you really care about (love) the sex is more along the lines of a 9 or 10 in my experience. It still has the physical "wow" factor but there is more there - especially afterwards where you feel all warm and fuzzy. | |
|
| |
tmotts
| | Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 35 | |
| |
Tarika
| | Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 36 | |
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 4:39:04 PM | | Yes, it is very possible....I tend to think older people can handle this type of relationship better. It depends also on whether that is truely what the two people involved want. If it is a mutual desire to have a relationship without emotional attachments...there shouldn't be any issues unless one person changes their mind. | |
|
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 4:44:10 PM | | I guess I am in that type of relationship now. Or is that non-relationship. I like him, more than I can ever tell him. I mentioned developing feelings or asked him where I stood and he went kind of 'strange'. The other night I was with him in the throws of passion (after he called me up), and he said 'see you don't need to love me to have a good time' *sighs* wtf am I doing?? Then again.......my heart has been so battered, used, and abused maybe it's me using him like all the guys before him. I am trying to keep emotions out of it so that when he gets tired of me......it won't hurt. I have managed to become numb. No feelings......no hurt feelings. I really do like him.......I just don't mention it. I think the sex is better if there is emotion involved. I don't know how long this will last........maybe until someone comes along who wants my heart and not my pn$$y. at least he is keeping me from getting new knotches on the bedpost. | |
|
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 4:54:25 PM | Well personally the more times I am intimate with "that one special guy" the more I fall for him..always been that way so for me it's kinda like how many licks does it take to get to the middle of a tootsie pop...THREE!
But if I woke up with nuts tomorrow I think I could manage the long term sans emotion type thing!  pretty sure! | |
|
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 5:11:37 PM | "I was in a "friends with benefits" situation and ended up getting my heart broken. I will never do that agian. But the problem is that I THOUGHT it was a relationship at the time. "
Boy, that sure rings a bell. When I was younger - in my 20's and 30's - I got burned a number of times because some of the women I was seeing forgot to mention that they were just wanting to do the FWB thing. | |
|
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 5:24:39 PM | Wow. I thought I was the only throwback who had to have the emtotional attachment to have sex. I have a feeling it is going to be a very long time before I ever have sex again. LOL
It is really nice to see there are others out there who value the relationship factor too.  | |
|
| |
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 5:37:33 PM | Good question...........Is it a little less than marriage but w/ enough committment to share house payments have a kid and still escape out of the back door and/or thinking that the future is going to be peachy keen elsewhere.............. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
Bnath
| | Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 46 | |
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 5:53:59 PM | Hmm tough one...
I met a woman from another site... as we began to chat after a little while the infamous online dating question arose, "so what are you looking for"? I answered honestly, I'm looking for fun, friends and intimacy, I replied. To my surprise she was looking for the same. We had both been hurt in previous relationships and were just looking for a good time.
So in the end we both discussed that we'd have a relationship based solely on fun and sex.
So we decided to meet... she didn't show me a photo ahead of time but her profile read slim and educated, both criteria I look for in a potential mate. Anyhow, we had a good time, chatting laughing telling stories... the night went well. We met in Novemeber of last year ('06). Not long after we met and have begun to have a "intimate" side to our relationship... she decided that we should have a label, something concrete etc... you know what I"m talking about. I asked what happened, we had an agreement? You can't change the rules once they're established or a lack of a better phrase, "Once the game has begun". She actually said, well that was before I had met you... why the rules would change after you've met someone is beyond me? She agreed and actually coined the aformentioned phrase. Okay so I was taken aback by her wanting to label us... but cool I was willing to ride it out.
A few more months pass... and again the subject comes up. At this point we're spending time on the bay, in nice hotels... dinners etc. Now Im thinking its the same type of thing... but a hint of the I care for you and the "love" word comes up, haha. I'm all for it... and sharing my life... but that wasn't the deal. Don't get me wrong I have feeling too, perhaps because i'm male I can quasi turn them on and off?
Anyhow, can a relationship be based solely on a sexual basis? Hmmm, yes... but for how long is the important question? Irregardless of sex, both persons have feelings. Another point is... will both partners have mutual feelings? Or be willing to put themselves out there for rejection and divulge these feelings?
Interesting topic and very appropriate for this day and age of online intimate dating...
Steve | |
|
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 5:55:55 PM | | umm ya i dont think is is possable to have that trust me i found that out i started talking to this girl on here and well we met a few times and now we both like eachother not saying its a bad thing tho i like it but anyone who can do it must have no emotions once so ever cause sex is a beautiful thing so if you want to try it go ahead but becarful cause its hard not to fall just something i thought id say sorry for the spelling haha i suck | |
|
mizbex
| | Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 48 | |
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 6:12:00 PM | | I couldn't do it, why would you want to share such an intimate experience with someone where there is no foundation, no depth, no feeling? It may just be that as I get older I value different things in my life and one of the things I value most is sharing initmate moments with someone special who I care for not just some guy who stops off on his way home from work. I mean what would that say for me and how I value myself? I think not. I don't quite understand people who can do that, but to each their own. | |
|
| |
lodi
| | Joined: 3/26/2007
Msg: 50 | |
| |
Home
login 
