| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 10:30:54 PM | | I think that those of you who think that FWB is all about meaningless sex needs to examine what Friend stands for. In a FWB it is friends first and foremost. What many of you are calling FWB is actually fvck buddies. The two terms do not mean the same. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/25/2007 10:37:13 PM |
The topic is... "Is it possible for two consenting adults to become LONG TERM sex partners without emotion(s) becoming an issue?"
Sure it's possible. I believe Heidi Fleiss had a little black book full of names doing exactly what you describe. So they made a little cash while indulging? It worked for them at the time. Charlie Sheen doesn't seem too broken up about the whole ordeal.
~OT~ Personally, it's not my style. BUT, I have friends who have NO issue with emotionless sex. It just depends on the level of honesty and the agreement between the parties. At this stage in my life, nothing surprises me with regard to sexual relationships.
I do have to agree with posters who defend FWB as containing emotions. I am emotionally attached to my friends, I just don't choose to have sex with them. Whatever works!!  | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/27/2007 8:57:41 AM | "...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments..."
There is no sex without emotion. It is the attachment part which may or may not be there. But sex w/o emotion(s) is IMO impossible, unless we are talking of "Data"!
"Is it possible for two consenting adults to become LONG TERM sex partners without emotion(s) becoming an issue?"
The "possessiveness" emotion I presume the OP means! Yes, it is possible, even in the long term. I do not think that LT sex without the existence friendship or "just sex" is that possible. People talk too, they do not just have sex. And can philosophize together too. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/27/2007 10:02:08 AM | Isnt this where "physiological" comes into play?
Sex without SOME kind of emotional chemistry is an act and really, in my opinion, no better than my hand. I think most of us at this age (ok...MY age) have had that "chemistry" right away...sure...but I guess thats why we call them one nighters...but as far as any kind of long term sex partner without emotions?...I dont think its possible. We are humans and we are drawn to those that give us that "comfort"...ask yourself this. If you met a guy that was totally hot and you were sexually attracted to him from a distance, than you met him and found him shallow and conceited...would you still feel that sexual chemistry? | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/27/2007 10:05:39 AM | I think to have a relationship like this would require some sort of brain damage (or defect) to the amygdala (emotion and agression).
Sex releases chemicals in the brain that cause emotions. So barring brain damage, I think it is impossible to experience nothing. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/27/2007 10:13:01 AM | Laughin, sorry..
From what I've seen with my friends and peeps that I know, the only woman that we know that can have sex without feelings is what "we" refer to as a Man-gina... ( A man with a vagina = sex w/o anything, emotional feelings, thought, or emotions)
Men ( allot of them, not all) can do this, cause what ever rubs them the right way, is good enough !! ( so I've been told)
Although it is the year 2007 and sex is refered to more often as "Just Sex" I just cant do that..
If I could just have (the act of) sex and feel everything that I do with a significant other ( passion, togetherness, that special bond) my sex life wouldn't be so non-existant !! | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 12:13:18 AM | Yes it is.......... I have known someone for 2yrs and we see one another maybe every 4-6 weeks..... we both sought excitement outside of marriage (don't reply with judgemental comments as you really have not walked in my shoes to justify any) but neither of us have become emotionally entangled .......that is not to say we don't have a care and respect for one another because we do.
I am fortunate enough to be able to compartmentalise my life however I know for a lot of women (genetics and all that jazz), that is not an easy thing to do. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 12:25:41 AM | | I have had FWB relationships that lasted for years. Of course there are feelings of the friendship type, but never any issue with "love". I think one thing that helped was there were always breaks when one of us was dating someone, but the friendship remained intact. So yeah, get the right two people together and it is very possible. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 2:23:38 AM | yes and no
no in that i had a fwb relationship for a while...it was cool for the first couple months...but then we both got feelings for one another....and we had difficulties but it ended well :)
and yes ....u can have a relationship like that if ur not wholely focused on that person meaning if u had other distractions....so yeah...it's possible but not very probable unless u want to have multiple relationships like that...that's the only way i can see it like that
kind of convoluted but i hope u understood :) | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 5:40:22 AM | | I have never seen it happen. One of the two generallyends up having stronger feelings. And beside, I have always found it very difficult to enjoy the sex if there was no real emotion involved. I have been with a couple of women that just wanted to screw hard and fast and at the end. I feel pretty empty myself. Even when you're not in love I still like to make love. | |
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U-nMe
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Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 63 | |
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 6:18:09 AM | ..I think prostitutes are the only ones who can go thru emotionless sex - even with a regular customer - Money being the real motive/emotion!
Any one else are sluts (much like prostitutes) or psychologically emotionally sick/dead people..beyond that, based on my studies....it is nigh impossible to have LTR emotionless sex = almost an oxymoron!
Or why not use your hand / phallic object? | |
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HzChld
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Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 65 | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 6:52:22 AM |
..I think prostitutes are the only ones who can go thru emotionless sex - even with a regular customer - Money being the real motive/emotion!
Any one else are sluts (much like prostitutes) or psychologically emotionally sick/dead people..beyond that, based on my studies....it is nigh impossible to have LTR emotionless sex = almost an oxymoron!
Or why not use your hand / phallic object?
Is it even possible for a person to be any more ignorant? I am thinking no. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 7:06:35 AM |
"Is it possible for two consenting adults to become LONG TERM sex partners without emotion(s) becoming an issue?"
I imagine it could work with the right people. If that's what you want, I'm sure on some level you can have success.
For me, I would never want to separate the 2. IMO it reduces the most beautiful human expression to a shallow and emotionally numbing activity. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 9:07:19 AM | | i had a relationship based on sex for 6 months before. we were good friends and respected each other, but weren't looking to fall in love. eventually i had to walk away because i began to care too much, and it was time to bail before i got hurt. i don't think i would, or likely could, do that again but i don't regret it. i'm not sure if that's what you mean by long term, but i think of it that way as it wasn't a one-night stand or a few times. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 9:31:10 AM | blondenbrainy27.......
Being Married to one person and screwing someone, else is entirely different. You are getting your emotional needs fulfilled in your home, with your spouse and family.
One question....does your spouse also have a "friends with benefit" and would you be so sure of yourself, if they did? It puts a whole different dynamics on the situation. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 9:37:29 AM | Whisper, I was thinking the same thing about Blondie's post. However, one cannot assume that she is getting her emotional needs fulfilled by her spouse. The simple fact that two people are married does not automatically equate an emotional connection.
However, this does not justify infidelity.
I also hope that her spouse has a FWB on the side. Fair's fair. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 10:09:18 AM | gardennut, my response to her was based on her post....
Blondie......."we both sought excitement outside of marriage"
Also in reading her profile.....she is fair game to any who wish to engage...in this type of entertainment......not to picky at all, I would say. Immoral guys, who don't smoke....puke
She should hope that Karma doesn't bite her in the ass......and she gets more excitement than she bargained for.......lol | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 10:15:28 AM | | NO!! See messages 5 and 24 to explain why easily. I feel that LONG TERM happens typically BECAUSE emotions get involved along the way. It is not that if there were none. The playing would end it to avoid it being long term and the continuing means more is involved than just fun or good sex.. that only goes so far without emotions included no matter who you are. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 10:21:09 AM | Yes it is possible however I think that it is VERY important that the relationship rules are established first. It is possible to be GREAT friends and have sex but not have that emotional 'long term' connection. I was in a relationship were we had been friends for years and were able to even discuss other men I would see and even discuss the sex. I know ... but it worked for us.
I think that as long as you gently ask your partner what his/her feelings are towards you and you should do the same for them. This should be done on a fairly regular basis to make sure the other person's feelings haven't changed. I feel it is a very touchy subject however as long as you are open and honest and COMMUNICATE on a regular basis I feel that you can remain GREAT friends for years to come. As soon as the respect for the other person's feelings is gone well then so will the friendship. Never assume you know. For eg. how often do you tell them how wonderful they are and what a great friend they are and how much their friendship/relationship really means to you? In that conversation you can add something like.... you do mean the world to me and never want our friendship to end. Hopefully one day when we both meet that perfect person for each other that this great relationship we have will NEVER end.
I feel that as long as you remember that you are NOT the only person in the relationship and that you are NOT the only person that has feelings in the relationship AND THAT IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT 'YOU' !! Why is it that guys are mean and uncaring at times and NEVER SAY 'Sorry'?
I feel strongly that two people of the opposite sex can remain great friends with a lifetime with sex or without sex as long as there is always respect,open communication and no assuptions. It is rare to find a person that truly loves you as a friend first. After all when someone gets hurt a true friend should always be there with a comforting shoulder, kind words (and sincere ones). A true friend should never use unkind, hurtful words and should know how to appologize and communicate that is the only way sex without commitment can work. Or just a friendship for that matter.
I found myself in a relationship with a really nice person however a few months into the relationship he began showing up 2 hrs late with no phone calls, wanted sex all the time, talked about getting married ALL THE TIME and was just way too pushy. He had no respect for me. I think a person who really cares about the relationship should really care about the nurturing the friendship first and foremost.
AND IF HE'S READING THIS ..... YOU WERE TWO HOURS LATE ..... THIS WAS THE THIRD TIME - I HAVE CALL DISPLAY AND THERE WAS NO CALL!!!!
Gee I feel much better.
PS You lost out on a GREAT friendship just because you're too self centered, self absorbed. Life is not all about one person and what they want out of the relationship/friendship. Sometimes the other person may have really cared about you but you were just too blind and dumb to communicate. | |
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