| | ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...Page 4 of 23 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23) | I used to think so.
I had a 10 year on and off sexual relationship with a good friend. She and I would get together sexually if and when we were single and were strict friends when we had other relationship interests. Then one day out of the blue she told me she was in love with me and had been for many years. Then it just got weird. She became very angry with me because no matter what, I would never be able to love her like she loved me. I felt terrible about it... and wondered why she could not have told me about her feelings much earlier. Everything else between us was pretty frank and open. I would have remained friends with her for life but she decided that it was either love or nothing so.....
I think in some circumstances it's possible, but it hasn't been that way in my experience. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 11:02:11 AM | | Yes! Yes! Yes! It's no different from a long term tennis partner or jogging partner, only the great moves are in the bedroom instead of on the court or sidewalk! It all comes down to choosing the right partner since you have just as much chance of becoming emotionally attached to a tennis partner you're overly attracted to as you do a bed mate you're overly attracted to. So you need to choose someone cute and sexy, who you like and have fun with, but who you know you won't fall in love with. For example, an ex you know you would never want to date again, but had great sex with. Or someone (i.e. a younger / older person) you know wouldn't fit into your life anywhere except for in the bedroom. Whether a person is single or in a relationship, they naturally do have sexual needs. Some people prefer to self-satisfy when they're single, and others choose to have long term non-romance orientated sex partners. I think it all comes down to individuality and what works for people best. Me, I see no problems in long term sex partnerships vs. long periods of sexual inactivity. But if a person needs the whole package to be happy (love, romance, companionship, and sex) or are worried they'll develop feelings for their bed-mate, I think they are best waiting till their next romantic attachment blossoms. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 11:03:23 AM |
I would like to get a general concensus on a topic that has come up among the guys I work with and myself. The topic is... "Is it possible for two consenting adults to become LONG TERM sex partners without emotion(s) becoming an issue?"
Absolutely not. Eventually, feelings become involved.
Michael | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 12:34:30 PM | | Nope I dont think so..Not for me anywayz..If you meet a man and end up having sex even before an emotional attachment has formed, eventually it will if you keep having sex..Sex is an intimate part shared by "two" people..If that was the case, then if you just have sex with someone with no emotional feelings, it wouldnt bother you in the least to let the guy you are having sex with, to go have sex with another woman..Besides, that wouldnt be too safe and would spread diseases much quicker.. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/28/2007 12:40:21 PM | yeh i had one of these last like 3 weeks ( let me rephrase that) bout 4 visits in three weeks... it wasnt that i was getting attached... it was the HE was getting attached... and to be honest he wasnt my type... shame on me for even doing it. Now i look back and think .... one word ..... EWWWWW
pps after the fourth (so called date) he wanted me to move in with him... NOT | |
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U-nMe
| | Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 81 | |
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/29/2007 4:26:16 AM | Message 68
You do your thing and I'll do mine! I sincerely hope your KIDS dont see your sick immoral life you lead -
Again, based on studies something has affected your life in earlier years for you to lose your soul!
Keep on doing your thing Lady - and I hope your visits to the Dr wiill be infrequent | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/29/2007 4:30:22 AM | I think you can have a strictly sexual relationship, as long as both you and your partner know this going in, and that it will be nothing more. There are many people that have relationships that they try and work out, which are strictly based on sex, and they do not seem to last long, in most occasions.
I would say that if both people know it is going to be sex (and only sex), and nothing further, then it could work no problem. I am not going to say I agree with this, as it is nice to have an emotional and sexual relationship combined, but if that floats your boat, then I do not see any complications.
That is just my two cents....
KRS | |
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FLS53
| | Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 84 | |
| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/29/2007 4:55:44 AM | | well said , have had offers on here and made it quite clear , thats not in my makeup, how people just go have a quick roll in the hay for the hell of it is beyond me. nice to know there are a lot of people both men and women who think like that too, was beginning to think I was a minority.Me i like the cuddles afterwards s the before during and afterwards is important, sex without emotion Geez the thought of it turns you off!!! why not go and get a blow up doll same bloody thing it would be!!! | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/29/2007 5:06:52 AM | | For the sake of clarity of the discussion, could some fellow posters specify what THEY (each) mean by "emotions"? "Love actually"? "Cuddling before and after"? "Feeling"? "Eros"? "Security"? "Intellectual Companionship"? Simple Companionship? Because emotions and emotional attachments can exist even w/o sex, ie with friends, relatives, family, neighbours, pets, fav football club (!), etc etc ....... Maybe even with things or machines: Furniture, BOBs, kitchen, mementos, etc! E-mails have attachments too but one better have a screening system for them. Cause some are good some are bad! | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/29/2007 6:16:25 AM | | I think it is possible but the people involved have to know what they want and don't want and what they are getting into. It seems like after you have been intimate for some time that emotions would show up somewhere but I am sure others make it work. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/29/2007 6:21:33 AM | You do your thing and I'll do mine! I sincerely hope your KIDS dont see your sick immoral life you lead -
Again, based on studies something has affected your life in earlier years for you to lose your soul!
Keep on doing your thing Lady - and I hope your visits to the Dr wiill be infrequent
Hey, hey, now! Who are you to call another person IMMORAL? Lot's of people have a regular sex partner, or partners, they aren't in love with but enjoy sex with, which doesn't render them immoral, sluts, or hookers! It's one thing to have an opinion, i.e. to say, for whatever reasons, an arrangement like that wouldn't work for you, and a whole other thing when you make what STUDIES call an ad hominem attack or argument, which is an attempt to discredit somebody's viewpoint by attacking them instead of their argument!! Everytime somebody does that, no matter how intelligent they believe themselves to be, it's their lack of intelligence that shines through since attacking the person instead of their argument is one of the primary fallacies seen in arguments / debates. It's abusive and in no way addressed the topic thread!!! Moreover, when you resort to making an ad hominem attack, you are basicially saying you have no valid argument and therefore present with an entirely invalid one!!! My advice to you, which you are free to take or leave, is enrol in a first year Modes of Reasoning course instead of spitting out caustically at people as opposed to the point the person is trying to make!!!!
ad hominem / definition from Wikpedia
An ad hominem argument, also known as argumentum ad hominem (Latin: "argument to the person", "argument against the man") consists of replying to an argument by attacking or appealing to the person making the argument, rather than by addressing the substance of the argument. It is most commonly used to refer specifically to the ad hominem abusive, or argumentum ad personam, which consists of criticizing or personally attacking an argument's proponent in an attempt to discredit that argument.
Other common subtypes of the ad hominem include the ad hominem circumstantial, or ad hominem circumstantiae, an attack which is directed at the circumstances or situation of the arguer; and the ad hominem tu quoque, which objects to an argument by characterizing the arguer as being guilty of the same thing that he is arguing against. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/29/2007 6:52:24 AM | Speaking as the shallow prick I am...I can honestly say a sexual relationship, long term without emotional attachments can be done. I've had one going on on almost 30 years! (looks down at left AND right hand) ....
Oh you mean with a person? Personally if there isn't a real deep emotional attachment, I wouldn't even think about sex with her. And no, I can't describe it, its indescribeable but I'll just say I'd have to go all "googly" when I was around her before the clothes would come off.
Cheers! | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/29/2007 6:55:42 AM | Speaking as the shallow prick I am...I can honestly say a sexual relationship, long term without emotional attachments can be done. I've had one going on on almost 30 years! (looks down at left AND right hand) ....
Oh come on!!! I am pretty sure I am more emotionally attached to my hands than ANY man I have been with!!! Just see how you would feel if someone tried to take one away!!!
And to the single woman..........thank you, dear. :) | |
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Posted: 4/29/2007 7:02:02 AM | Re msg 88
I agree with post 100%
Very useful definitions of discussion "MAL-practices" MANY posters engage to.
Re the development of "emotions" in the LT
Any action in affairs of the heart includes emotions as many previous posters have pointed out but many others choose to ignore this point.
It sure sounds like those quoted "LT emotions" have to do with "possessiveness" and "ownership". Technically and in essence, are they real "emotions" or "feelings"? | |
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Posted: 4/29/2007 7:05:38 AM | I think it is possible but not probable. I have several online male friends who have told me in the past that they have entered into "purely" sexual relationships with women. My response was that the relationships wouldn't stay that way--they women would want more.
The men insisted not--they had made it plain: "This is ONLY about sex" and the women agreed.
Guess what? Every man reported back anywhere from three weeks to a couple of months later that the woman said that she now "wanted more than just sex" because she had gotten attached.
This works both ways--I have had men become very attached to me and want more than a casual dating relationship, but it wasn't what I wanted. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/29/2007 8:14:43 AM | Ive never had sex with any man and not have at least some emotional stuff going on.
I don't think that Id be able to have an ongoing sexual relationship w/out the desire to get serious. If Im continuing to see him it is because Im really into him so.....do the #.
Casual sex is a little different though. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/29/2007 3:04:18 PM | Possible? Sure. I've had an on / off physical relationship with someone for years. If we were both single, it was a great "booty call" situation for the both of us. We've since moved on.
I've also tried the "booty call" thing with other people, and one or the other developed feelings.
So... possible? Yes, but the longer it goes on, the more likely someone's going to grow feelings. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/29/2007 5:44:55 PM | | Sure you can and I know cause I've done it. You have to really know the person (this helps since if you were gonna have feelings you would already) and also becuase you know that there is something there that keeps you from being together. Say maybe he's childish and he thinks you're too serious but you're attracted. Sometimes sex is just sex. Especially if you both know that's all you want. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 4/29/2007 7:59:51 PM |
It can be done but the sex is never as good as when two people feel something real for each other
That is known as making love. The mechanics might be the same but there is a big difference between making love and having sex. | |
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Posted: 4/30/2007 2:26:34 AM | Yes, it's possible, and I have one of those.
I've been meeting someone once a month or so to have some intense, mind-blowing sex. We've been doing this for FIVE years. After our hookups, he goes his way and I go mine, until we meet again.
I like him and we are friends, but that's as far as it goes. I've yet to consider taking it to the 'next level' and I never will. If you want to say that liking him constitutes an emotional attachment, then fill yer boots. I see it simply as a FWB arrangement that works well for us.
Note: this arrangement is part of the polyamorous relationship that I have with my man. He's aware of my FWB and is more than fine with it.
M | |
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