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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/15/2009 11:54:42 PM | Yes. I've had many such relationships. But probably the one which comes to mind first would be Lisa. She would often call me up on afternoons and non chalantly asked me if I wanted to come over for a FU**. Needless to say my answer was ALWAYS yes. And sometimes we be hanging around together and be out in town and suddenly she'd get Horn* and I'd "have to" take her to the parking lot.
Sometimes, she'd go out on a date and not get any and use me. Sometimes she'd be "going with" a guy and she'd end it or he would end it, and the phone would ring and she'd be wanting to use me.
As the old BOB SEGER song line puts it "I USED HER SHE USED ME BUT NEITHER ONE CARED, WE WERE GETTING OUR SHARE" from the song NIGH MOVES . | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 12:57:19 AM | Nope...not possible....long term implies that you are together for quite a while, unless your definition of long term is one month....if you're with someone, unless he or she is a sociopath, it's impossible not to have some sort of emotional attachment...through long term you bond and share the good , the bad and the ugly....it's human to become emotionally attached after a certain period of time.
My question to you MissChevus is why would you want to be in a long term relationship with someone you had no feeling for? The sex better be damn good if you're going to do that  | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 1:13:18 AM | It doesn't happen. off and on again is one thing but long term...no...I could never see that working. Of course some married couples would claim they are long term sex partners without emotions being attached...or is that the other way around?
The ones I "tried" that with...they either went ape shit nuts when I started to date someone or they fell madly in love despite all we did was ****...
A guy can do it...sex is sex...we divide up our life all the time...women...no way unless they are very bitter or cold. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 4:26:26 AM | It is possible - I've had the odd relationship that started out with me caring for the person, and finding that, although I was attracted to him, something about his personality crept up on me. At that point, I realized that although I liked him as a casual friend and would help him if he were in trouble, I could walk away anytime and not miss him.
So, beyond having the concern for him that I would for any other human being, I felt nothing. And so it went for several years until I met someone I wanted to actually date, and we went our separate ways permanently.
Tootles....... | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 5:13:54 AM | In a long term deal...I cant imagine that one or the other wouldnt get attached ......While im on here totally for physical....I still look for some kind of chemistry....its just not clean sex....we have to know where each are coming from and any expectations......if any.....or how long to continue.....tuff situation sometimes.... | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 10:42:42 AM |
although I liked him as a casual friend and would help him if he were in trouble, I could walk away anytime and not miss him.
I don't really understand that. Even if two people are acquaintances, while one has some trouble, another one can at least give some ideas to help the one's problem solving. My neighbors and I enjoy helping one another. How could two have an intimate relationship without any care of another? | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 12:14:12 PM | although I liked him as a casual friend and would help him if he were in trouble, I could walk away anytime and not miss him.
Same here. Not even sure I'd help him if he was in trouble. It would depend on what kind of trouble. Trouble with the law? He's on his own.
A guy can do it...sex is sex...we divide up our life all the time...women...no way unless they are very bitter or cold.
Oh BS. If men do it....it's okay, but something must be wrong for a woman to do it? That's bull. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 12:32:50 PM | Emotions are always there. The problem is , people don't communicate enough and are very controlling     It's good to live in the moment. When I am in a relationship it usually works out for the best, because I live & let live. In other words, people let their emotions get the best of them based on some subjective nonsense.  | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 12:35:02 PM | I can't speak for anyone else, but I think it is difficult at best to do so. I have only been in two relationships of this type. The first ended quickly because without the connection, it just seemed cold and became less enjoyable over time.
The last time I tried this type of relationship, the connection was out of this world; like something you think you could only read about. I feel head over heals in love with this girl rather quickly. The problem was that it was one sided. She never lied to j me or led me on, but it just was never there for her I guess. Not her fault. Just the way it is. It didn't take long for the relationship to deteriorate, as we grew further apart and finally I had to leave the relationship.
So, I am not saying it isn't possible, but Ido think it unlikely that you could be intimate with someone long term and not have feelings for them. Just my opinion. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 1:37:09 PM | | Sweetheart!, I'm gonna be honest with you and I know people are gonna dispute it because of their ego. But the answer to your question is no, two people cannot have sex with each other two and three times a week for over a year and not have feelings for each other. But when I say feelings lets be clear i'm not talking about love or marriage. I'm talking about feeling of expections. A woman is not gonna keep giving a man her body without any kind of expections from that man. It could be to drive her places, pick her up from work, borrow a little money here and there either way she's gonna expect something. Regardless if she knows he has a girlfriend or not. The same goes for a guy. A man is not gonna keep running behind a woman to have sex with her without any expections from her. Sure he's already getting sex, but men are creatures guided by the ego. He expects her to not fool around with any other guys while he's around. He expects her to not be calling or texting any other guys while he's around.He's not gonna stand by and watch her have sex with another guy either. Regardless if he knows she has a boyfriend or not. This is because sex creates a bond of trust that the other person will not infect them with some STD. This kind of situation probably won't lead to a relationship or a marriage, but there are feelings there that can't be ignored. I doubt anyone will get insanely jealous over the other, but the feelings are there. Regardless there are still boudaries that can't be cross if this kind of relationship wants to continue. They still have to respect each other while around each other even if they know about the other person's mate. It best not to get caught up in these kinds of situations because it's easy to start trying to make more out of it than actually possible. Thats when the problems start. When one starts disrespecting the other either one can always throw up. " we're not girlfriend and boyfriend". It's best to avoid that and just find a girlfriend/boyfriend. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 1:50:54 PM |
s it possible for two consenting adults to become LONG TERM sex partners without emotion(s) becoming an issue?"
Without emotions coming up? No.
Without emotions or emotional bonding becoming an issue? Yes.
It depends on the type of people getting involved. If both are actually simply seeking a sex partner, know it, accept it, live it, and respect each other then no problems.
But IMO it's just as rare to find this as it is "the one."
If at least one person is simply running away from responsibility but wants the emotionally bonded relationship then they are simply going to try and manipulate the relationship to get what they want. Eventually "oh, I developed feelings that are so strong for you, I've paid you with all this sex, now pay me with the real relationship and a sense of ownership rights. And if you don't, well it's your responsibility for causing these emotions in me and if you don't give me more than I want then I can say you are a bad person."
So is it possible? Yes.
Probable? No. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 1:58:59 PM |
A guy can do it...sex is sex...we divide up our life all the time...women...no way unless they are very bitter or cold.
Sorry to burst your bubble but women can do it too.
Sex for sex is just sex.
And you bet - a woman can do this just as easily as a man.
Here's the difference.
A woman will have sex for sex sake only - but the man has to be someone with a brain, and can carry on a conversation with her too.
A guy? Doesn't care who he feks and if she can even speak or comprehend English.
There's the one and only difference.
Oh and a woman? Will expect the man to have a pulse and be responding.
A guy? Doesn't necessarily require that either. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 2:24:10 PM |
.....when I say feelings lets be clear i'm not talking about love or marriage. I'm talking about feeling of expections. A woman is not gonna keep giving a man her body without any kind of expections from that man.....
Why not? Hasn't anyone ever given you anything unconditionally? Didn't you get that free camera for test-driving a Nissan?
If you give something for nothing - then the other person will often feel they owe you something in return - that's not the same thing. I don't generally date people who have something to offer me other than the pleasure of their company. And why do you feel that the men aren't giving women THEIR bodies? Of course they are - it's not a one-sided gift now is it?
Tootles...... | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 2:48:40 PM | first of all i agree with the statemnt made by someone that lust is an emotion, causing later complications.
and to put this in perspective, most men are not "in touch with thier feelings," and what men and women consider feelings to be have always been very different. but since lust or an erg or even considering someone else in a situation is a feeling i think some men are missing the point that they might have feelings in the first place. most women know what is going to happen to them to try to go into a "non attachment sex relationship" it just doesnt work like that for most of us emotionally, there has to be something there, or that person in a sexual view is revolting.
so to answer the question, Yes ut is possible for two drunk random adults to have unemotional forgetful sex, but No to long term sex partners with no emotions. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 3:39:44 PM | You'll never get an accurate survey on this in an open forum. You may as well ask people to state how sexual partners they have had. Men will tend exaggerate and women will tend to minimize.
That being said, we all know it happens. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 3:57:29 PM | I don't like to be used.
I don't like to use.
Sex is a bonding experience.
So how can one move on to a relationship with someone else if bonded to another?
That is my take.
General answer, some can and some can't, like any emotional question, it is subjective. For some people sex is like candy for others it is much more. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 7:50:22 PM | | Yes, it's possible to have a long-term sexual relationship with a person without any emotional attachments, but it doesn't create value. I have been sexually involved with a man for the last 15 years (I'm 43 and he's 53 now) and in all this time it has not been a continuous relationship. He is forever the back-up plan; too easy. Although we talk a lot about sex, during the intimate encounter, it is just a primal f-ing thing that is the prelude to a really good nap. Then I leave and we call each other once in a while. We tried to be BF/GF a couple of times, but it got weird. It's an open relationship that my family and his friends just pass off as a close friendship. We have a much better friendship because we never tied each other down or got in the way during other exclusive relationships we were having. He's never been married, yet I've been married and divorced twice already. Yeah, we talk about "ending up together", but he's never told me that he loves me, so here I am on POF looking for Mr. One and Only #whatever I'm on..... This FWB relationship is a great pacifier, but I want it all and he's not everything I'm looking for. Having him in my life keeps me clear about what is really important to me. And we somehow have maintained a profound sense of mutual appreciation and respect. Go figure. | |
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| ...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/16/2009 8:14:41 PM |
Sorry to burst your bubble but women can do it too.
Sex for sex is just sex.
And you bet - a woman can do this just as easily as a man.
Actually I think a woman can do it easier than a man...in that all a woman has to do is spread her legs just a little to far and before she knows it some guy is ****ing her. And that will always be the truth...regardless of what a woman looks like or even how many guy friends a woman has. I personally try to avoid women that are already screwing some guy when they are out and about dating potential replacements...even if the guy they are screwing is just a friend. Cause once the other guy gets in the picture...that usually turns into an entire new drama. There will always be a double standard...a woman screwing around just to get some is easy...a guy is a stud...why? Maybe because the guy has to do more than just open his legs just a little to far to get some? Maybe because the guy actually has to have a brain...as someone else already pointed out.
But as far as emotional attachment, at least in my experience I haven't met a woman that can do that without an attachment. My very small sampling of the entire female population though by no way is 100% truthful to everyone.
A guy has to be somewhat cold to be able to not get attached as well...the difference I think is that guys very easily compartmentalize their lives...again...not truthful for the entire human population...but the majority yes. | |
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