| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 4/28/2007 1:19:29 PM |
Lets just get along .
As soon as you stop generalizing about women (not all of us are beautiful, delicate or 'creatures' thank you very much) we will all get along just fine. As a human being I prefer to be evaluated for who I am, not an outdated, erroneous generalization about my gender.
I find it amusing that the men posting to this thread are scared of vindictiveness with this 'feature' whereas the women who have posted have all said they wouldn't use it - cause we talk to our friends about these problems already, should they occur. Why are you guys so nervous? Are there that many mis-behaved women out there (I doubt it - we'd have met by now) or are you treating your dates so badly you are hoping to not make the list? | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 4/28/2007 1:37:43 PM | Actually, at least four of the women so far [ie, a significant percentage] EXPLICITLY pointed out the potential for abuse [by women, since it's a gender-specific feature]. If the men are nervous, they have reason to be since the women HAVE expressed the same concern, with good reason. There is no shortage of vindictive people, and particularly women. There's a reason for the old jokes about the wife who uses "remember when you said **** on June 23, 1953?" as a means of enforcing her will. Hell hath no fury...
I wouldn't know - scorn me all they want, but who will they tell that actually has any influence on my life? 
re-edit - anyone notice that they fixed the no-smileys-in-edit bug? ^^^
Double checking...exactly the same number of men, four, raised the concern for abuse [prior to me pointing out that the 4 women and 4 men are right, and that several more hinted at the same concern] | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 4/28/2007 2:28:38 PM | horseraddish why do you keep atacking and disecting everything I post? I have never even met you. I thought personal attacks were against the rules on POF. Do you have special contacts to avoid being banned?
PEACE ALL READY | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 4/28/2007 2:51:34 PM | Do a search on this topic and you will find hundreds of other women all over that think this is a bad idea. I found only a handful who supported the idea. I rather got the impression that some of those who do support it CAN"T WAIT to get online with their girlfriends and start slamming the men they don't like. Of course, many men are worried about the potential for abuse and retribution should a date go badly. Responses from women like "If you aren't abusing women, what are you afraid of?" or "What have you got to hide?", have no merit. It is like the police asking to search your place with no warrant and saying "If you aren't guilty of anything, what are you afraid of?". How about an unwarranted phone tap? Would you allow it on your line simply because a police officer said "As long as you don't step out of line, you have nothing to fear"? Of course not!
I think the potential for abuse is too great to justify it's use here. Some have said that it would be acceptable as long as men have the same opportunity. I disagree. It is not an equity issue...it is an abuse issue. Adding another wedge into the great divide between the sexes can never be a good thing. No good can come from this. None.
As far as the site is concerned, perhaps this could also lead to a loss of revenue for Markus. Let's face it, if men think the playing field is a bit sloped, they will not play here. What good is a dating site where every time you contact a woman, you potentially place yourself in a position of liability and run the risk of perhaps upsetting her and receiving a pair of blackened balls for your trouble? Certainly not me...I would just go elsewhere. If enough men went elsewhere, how would POF benefit? How would women benefit? How would the advertisers benefit?
Yep, we are certainly going to see a lot of abuse with this feature. If a man is abusive or dangerous and should not be dated, simply report him and have his profile removed. Isn't that what the option is for? Also, what does this feature say for the woman's ability to figure out for herself if a man is a good match or not? It is almost like saying they are not clever enough to figure it out for themselves. Aren't any of you women offended?
Markus says that about 10% of women have other women on their faves list. Only 0.5% of men have other men on their list. If the option is added for men to do exactly the same thing, you will see that many more men will add each other to their favourites list so that info on some of the scary women on here can be shared. This place will devolve into nothing more than a means to exact revenge against the opposite sex. Markus, you really need to rethink this "feature". Any time you give a select group a tool to use against another group, abuse will ensue. It is a given...abuse of this feature will occur and some good people will end up being hurt.
I, along with a vast majority, give the idea a big :down:
Edit: I am removing some restrictions on my e-mail. From now on females AND males can write to me. It is starting to look like it is time to get those wagons in a circle. | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 4/28/2007 2:51:54 PM | I'm not attacking you - I object to your attitude towards women. It's doubtful that a little link on a dating website will bring about the wrath of women - I am not obliged to agree with you or hold my tongue if I don't have the same point of view as you.
I have not attacked you personally - there has been no name calling, no belittling. Just questions and observations. As a human, however, I feel obliged to speak up when any part of humankind is categorized erroneously. | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 4/28/2007 3:22:25 PM | So PEACE? If it allowed me to email you then i would to explain that my english is not up to par and that I love and respect women to a point that i cant even discuss on a open forum.
Look forward to peaceful debates with you. | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 4/28/2007 11:00:57 PM | I think I agree with Horseradish. Besides guys I don't know about the rest of you but who cares if a woman puts you on the do not date list. I for one won't stop attempting to make contact and trying to date whomever I want no matter what anyone else's opinion is of me.... Just my 0.02 | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 4/28/2007 11:06:18 PM | i nvr needed to b on anyones lil link hehehe
to b honest if someone looks at that lil link n think oooh maybe i better not try to date this guy/gurl because so n so says so
then obviously that person isnt worth a squirt of milk
weak minded people that believe what they read or hear are no good anyways
better to wait for the ones that make decisions based on their own experience not the gossip on the bathroom wall | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 4/28/2007 11:07:36 PM | 
I don't need someone else to tell me NOT TO DATE SOMEONE.
Any thing they want to TELL me, I might hear but that doesn't mean I'll follow their advice.
Isn't that what dating is about?! lol, hopefully learning from mistakes and NOT repeating them?
In all honesty, I'd rather be the judge of who I should/or should NOT date and NOT base it on someone ELSE's opinion/perceptions. | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 4/29/2007 8:17:04 AM | | Talk about debating ad nauseum ... who cares ... if you don't like the feature ... move the fk on ... | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 5/1/2007 8:54:38 PM | Is there one for the guys too? They'd probly have choices like:
- stalker
- pms'r
- moody
- menopausal
- needy
- sensitive
- gold digger
hahahaha | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 5/3/2007 4:22:30 AM | | LOL never happen, aside from the POF policy not to mention user names, there is the aspect of slander and harassment that one unfortunate "listed user" may seek damages for...I think the old block and report function works just fine... | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 5/3/2007 6:27:20 AM | | What do you mean it would never happen? The whole reason this thread started was because it DID happen! It's my understanding that the feature was fairly quickly deleted after a considerable number of people indicated they didn't like the possibilities. | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 5/3/2007 7:53:01 AM |
Is there one for the guys too? They'd probly have choices like:
.
hey i think u forgot one major one which sorta takes in alot of those
BIPOLAR
haha
sorry had to for my roomie LOL
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 5/3/2007 9:15:42 AM | | Even though I had a horrible date with someone on here who lied about his job, about dating other women on here, and who might have even been married - I think this feature is abusable. Any women that I talk to on a friendly basis now - I would warn them about someone like this - but putting on a 'do not date him' is as abusable as the 'delete this thread' feature - in the wrong hands, it could become very childish and just another tool for bullies. | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 5/3/2007 11:01:01 AM | | I think guys should be allowed to have a list like that? I know of a couple girls on here I'd put on that list cause they're in the closet about being bi-sexual and I think any guy that dates these two should know! | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 7/25/2007 2:53:21 AM | Okay, I have enjoyed the forums immensely. This question is an example of why. I think this topic is 'freakin hilarious'. Great debate. Not that he needs my help, but Limo driver is just sayin, and there is no need to take anything personally. Anyways, so you happen to think "I" am a creep, and so you tell two friend and they tell two friends, and what? No dates. Come on. I could argue both sides here.
As a 44 year old man, I have experienced first hand the ravages of 'creep' dom . OMG, it is freaking hilarious. I learned somewhere around 30 something, innocent flirting became 'creepy'. The other day, on a slurpee run to the store I noticed a couple of girls sitting on the road, in the cool, cool, night, so I's bought a bag of licorice and offered it to them on the way back home. Turns out I just scared the freakin Bejesus outta them, and not only didn't want the licorice, but in that one moment, I felt like Danny Devito as the penguin in Batman II. WTF Is this what the world is coming to? I understand, under different circumstances it may have been different. In hindsight, (20/20) it was a poor choice by me, and that is that. Still, there are two more women in the world who think I am a creep.
At the end of the day though, lets just say, I make it on the top ten. (doubt that) and I am a certified POF creep, well, then, I suppose if I wanted to restore my good name, or meet and greet to show the world, that for a creep, I am a freaking hilarious guy by attending one of the many activities people have organized on this site.
Pity the creeps of the world. LOL
Meanwhile, as a finishing up statement, I will just say that as freakin hilarious I find this thread to be, I know that women do have to vigilant and careful in ways incomprehensible to men. And so, with that, I think anything they need to do to do that, whatever works, then great. At the risk of being the next 'creep' I fully endorse this experiment in the name of safety. | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 7/25/2007 5:57:22 PM | Anyone who decided I was a creep without taking the time to decide for themselves isnt worth my time. Last thing I need in my life is a weak minded lemming who can't make up her own mind and needs her friends to tell her who she should go out with.
JC | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 7/25/2007 8:10:18 PM | | This is the first I've heard/seen this. I would have voted yes and no, I wasn't dumped by anyone. It would come in handy for the next woman that dated the guy I had. It was the first and only date and he walked me out to my car after dinner (I ended up paying for my meal after he looked at the bill) and while I was opening my car door he grabbed me from behind and forced himself on me. This was also the first date I'd had with someone online. He contacted me last week and asked if I'd like to give it another chance...ahh no. | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 7/27/2007 4:23:08 PM | Dusty
if this guy that treated you badly is still on here, I would recommend using the report feature.
I found this thread by accident and after reading all I have found that this tool is no longer here.
as a guy that tries to be all that he should be, I would not want myself grouped with that individual, from a guys perspective, if he is still on here, please get him blocked/removed.
sounds like no one else should have to deal with him either. | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 7/27/2007 4:50:50 PM | I think this can be a really good feature. and if someone says something really off the wall about a previous date.. i think they should be allowed to send a message to the person that said it for they can get the whole story..
it might not be so "bad" after all.
but I am planning on using it if it goes into action | |
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| New Feature - Do Not Date List
Posted: 7/27/2007 5:23:33 PM | bad news
they took it off of here a few months back, too many complaints.
there was quite a heated debate about it on page one, and most was very well informed.
have a Great Day! | |
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