| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 5/15/2007 3:16:51 PM | | Have to say that I used to fall under the same "don't email guys" category. However, I took a chance and emailed someone, the response not all that promising, but I replied and he happened to be online. We chatted for awhile then nothing, long story behind that though.....lol I bit the bullet and sent another IM to him and he responded, since then well.....let's just say I am glad I stepped out of my box/comfort zone. | |
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 5/15/2007 4:01:07 PM | ^^^^^^^uh-oh, have I lost my ride on Saturday already?
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 5/15/2007 4:07:38 PM | lol, I really listened to everyone, and actually took the initiative to email someone out of the blue today! Now where's the darn 'take it back' key??????
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 5/15/2007 4:56:57 PM | Phew! I'm glad I got a commitment in before those three good looking women show up.
POF kind of reminds me of Queen Esther who approached King Xerxes in order to save her people. If he lowered his sceptor, she was safe and could ask what she wanted. If he didn't, she was dead. There seems to be a lot of sceptors that are not lowered around here! But we have to not be afraid to approach anyway. Food for thought! | |
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| MEN WITH THERE GAMES
Posted: 5/15/2007 8:41:38 PM |
For you ladies that don't/won't message someone, nothing is free, if you want to succeed, you need to go after it yourself rather than sit back and wait for it to find you..
I've emailed plenty of guys first. I figure it takes out some guess work for both of us (since we all hate the "games"). He knows I'm interested and when/if he responds I know if he is. If we're going to find someone amazing to be with then someone's going to have to make the first move. I AM guilty of seeing someone and pulling the whole "oh he'd never be interested in someone like me" thing though, til one fella called me out on it.
I just try to remind myself that you can't control the length of your life, only the depth. And to get that depth we gotta step out of that fantastic comfort zone and take a few risks...besides I'd rather take an email rejection than face to face lol | |
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| MEN WITH THERE GAMES
Posted: 5/15/2007 9:28:38 PM |
I just try to remind myself that you can't control the length of your life, only the depth
Wow, I love that sentiment! I hope you don't mind if I take it and use it for myself!
Very nice post in general, alot of good thoughts, but that one is a gem!
Sherry | |
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 6/8/2007 5:55:07 AM |
The female of the species doesn't understand why males don't think like them and they get frustrated. We are not as complicated as you make us out to be. We just want to eat what we want, have sex when we want it, do our own thing when we want, and not have to explain why we do what we do, or did what we did. There is a cosmic force that sometimes appears and inhibits our thought process and forces us to think as we did when we were toddlers. I can't help it when it overcomes me...
IMO - This pretty much sums up the dilemma. Men just want sex when they want it and then move alone w/o a word. Only problem with that is there is a human being attached to the female portion of the sex. She's not an inanimate object like a tv that you can turn on and off on a whim. | |
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 6/8/2007 6:01:50 AM | | Oh that is so unfair and untrue, maybe its just the men that you are finding or going after but I see plenty of guys on POF that at least say they don't do that or seem to be upstanding people. | |
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 6/8/2007 6:36:44 AM |
Oh that is so unfair and untrue, maybe its just the men that you are finding or going after but I see plenty of guys on POF that at least say they don't do that or seem to be upstanding people.
I agree, whole-heartedly, my friend, CITB there, is one perfect example, and I have met many more guys in person, in the forums, and at events that are NOT that way. Meeting people on the internet is just an instrument for finding people who have similar needs and interests, but you have to be smart and protect yourself from the users, just like any other medium. It doesn't mean everyone is the same. | |
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 6/8/2007 6:44:59 AM | Online is no different than offline. You still have to take enough time to get to know someone instead of projecting your wants/needs/desires onto them.
How many of those "I was used" complaints could have been avoided if some time had been taken instead of rushing into something? "Common sense" shouldn't go out the window just because of a physical attraction to someone. We all need to remember that someones physical appearance is NOT a reflection of their inner self. | |
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 6/8/2007 7:41:59 AM | Dating and being in a relationship is the hardest thing we do on a day to day basis and it needs to be worked on daily. That takes commitment. Do you really want that? Be sure.
Dating sucks because we really are confused about the rules. The basics are the same but now we have "want to hang out" or "hook up". definition- we meet, have drinks, eat, shag...
1. if he doesn't pick you up, it's not a date
2. if you ask him out, expect to pay (you may not have to, but expect to)
3. it's just a date. you do not have to hug him, kiss him, have sex etc. it's just a date.
As Jackie1954 said- COMMON SENSE... | |
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 6/8/2007 9:40:15 AM |
What's wrong that all us ladies are ready to give up the dating scene????
What's your thoughts? Is it age, are we all too set in our ways?
Just for clarification...I cut & pasted a guys view for emphasis. I don't think the problem is we want to give up dating because we are too set in our ways or older. I'm definitely not crying, "Poor women - These guys are so terrible". But if it's a relationship one is after, I think it is like searching for a quality diamond. I doubt it's any easier on the guys looking for something of quality.
Just my opinion | |
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 11/7/2007 8:24:48 AM | | I agree, so many women seem to want everything right now, some men do, but I haven't met as many men. As we get older, we seem to be afraid that there's no time, I realize that I don't want to wait forever, but ladies, there are some great men out there, I know, I've met one. Too many people want to meet asap and begin the dating scene immediately. If you don't like the e-mails, then talk on the phone, but I feel that if you meet too soon, your real self isn't going to be there. If you're not relaxed enough, which some people aren't, or haven't gotten to know each other enough, then things are not going to go normally like they would if you gave yourself time. It's called PATIENCE! You cannot judge a person by one or two meetings, either. I know a few people who have known me for years, but haven't been around me often, but after being around me a little more, they see I am a fun-loving, caring and affectionate, sometimes goofy, hard-working (getting my first million) serious when necessary, female. Whether with girlfriends or that certain someone, it all takes time to 'grow' either together or apart. If you have an attraction to someone, maybe you'll jump into bed with them asap or wait a few dates, but ladies, learn to respect yourselves and take your time. I don't want to wait forever, I'm not a teenager any more, but I'm not a one night stand either. I know I'm changing everyday and don't want to play games, which, a lot of men want to do, but there are serious minded men out there. Take your time and choose your bed partner carefully. | |
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| MEN WITH THERE GAMES
Posted: 11/7/2007 8:28:25 AM | | I agree with you. I've been reading a lot lately, about relationships and what men want. They want the true you, they want someone loyal, they want someone who is fun, affectionate and versatile. Learn what he wants, learn what men want, learn what they like to talk about. I can talk about anything, just don't bring up religion or politics......LOL. They want someone interesting. Learn to be more interesting, read things they like, learn to watch sports. If you aren't interested in what he's interested in, sorry ladies, it won't work. Opposites do NOT attract, they distract, Likes attract and last. | |
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| MEN WITH THEIR GAMES?
Posted: 11/7/2007 12:38:23 PM | | I don't know if you can generalize like that. The only way to generalize would be to say that Men want what they want based upon their needs wants and desires just like any other male, female or Easter Goat. Normally people come together because they have a shared interest. | |
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| MEN WITH THEIR GAMES?
Posted: 11/7/2007 1:44:03 PM | CITB,
Exactly if your out doing the things you enjoy then sooner or later a guy that enjoys the same things will find you there.Why waste time on things you dont enjoy to find a guy?Do things you enjoy & let him find you.  | |
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 11/7/2007 1:45:33 PM |
I agree, so many women seem to want everything right now, some men do, but I haven't met as many men. As we get older, we seem to be afraid that there's no time, I realize that I don't want to wait forever, but ladies, there are some great men out there, I know, I've met one. Too many people want to meet asap and begin the dating scene immediately. If you don't like the e-mails, then talk on the phone, but I feel that if you meet too soon, your real self isn't going to be there.
Really, & where may these women who want to meet me immediately be?
The course of my mails just go a few weeks, then they disappear, probably to hook up with a guy that wanted to meet them immediately. 
Right now, I really don't have time in my schedule to meet anyone, & since most of you ladies are busy on the weekends, it puts me at a further disadvantage.
Looking at this from an aggressive standpoint?? damned if you do, & damned if you don't! | |
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 11/7/2007 1:52:57 PM | | I guess it boils down to who or what your interest is in....I think we are all here for that purpose.We just need to get past the initial shock of is this all there is??? | |
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 11/7/2007 3:00:40 PM |
I feel that if you meet too soon, your real self isn't going to be there. If you're not relaxed enough, which some people aren't, or haven't gotten to know each other enough, then things are not going to go normally like they would if you gave yourself time.
I feel the opposite. I think the longer you wait the more likely they'll get comfortable with their online persona vs the real one and then you lower your odds significantly of ever actually meeting them in person. The more you talk first the more time they have to worry that they aren't going to be what you expected or to weave stories and lines they can't hold up in person. Then you get stood up. | |
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 11/7/2007 3:29:04 PM | | except for the stood up part I agree with sherilyn^^^^^^^^^ meet them as soon as possible....because that online persona has a way of taking a world on its own...then nothing can ever measure up...we are human you know...well some of us | |
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 11/7/2007 4:46:06 PM | | I say to each his own. Different strokes for different folks. I've talked to several people that I was instantly comfortable meeting and I've talked to people that I wasn't so sure about. I don't think you can put a general rule to it but better yet make it person specific. If your feeling it go for it and if your not initially then do what makes you feel comfortable! The people who judge you for it aren't worth your time anyway. Like everything in life honesty and communication is the key! | |
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 11/7/2007 5:06:52 PM | | I re-read what I wrote.. I meant you get stood up if you wait too long. :) They tend to chicken out if you give them too much time to think about it, hehe. | |
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| What's happening with us ladies?
Posted: 11/7/2007 5:46:37 PM | I agree if you talk to much on line you get emotionally attatched just to meet & find you have no chemistry,why waste the time.Looks arent everything but chemistry,gotta have it. | |
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