| | Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?Page 10 of 14 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14) | I understand what you mean. I too, have become used to living alone. I still miss not having that special man to do things with. I still enjoy the intimacy of sharing that special look or touch and having a witness to my life. I don't think it's a bad thing nor is it being selfish. There are men out there that want the same relationship you're talking about. | |
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2008 8:46:20 AM | ^^^^^^^ I don't think it is being selfish to "having that special man to do things with", or woman for us males. It is human nature and most of us would be lying if we said we didn't want to be with that special person.
I miss that look and touch also Starslight. Probably miss those things and great conversation more than anything. | |
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2008 9:03:40 AM | | I like being alone better than in a relationship that I am being used or abused for their own satisfaction. This kind of relationship needs to be left and if someone stays it is because of their own perceived lack (which is probably the lie that one has been believing from the beginning of the realtionship-I deserve to be treated less than) The relationship where one wants to stay is where needs are being met, wants fulfilled, and all is done with a genuine care and concern for your best interest. I experienced 27 years of unhappiness because I believed I couldn't survive without the other person so I stayed in the selfish relationship. The balance is where the man loves the woman and the woman respects the man in his love to her, a win-win situation. | |
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2008 9:36:39 AM | " I experienced 27 years of unhappiness because I believed I couldn't survive without the other person so I stayed in the selfish relationship."
Wow Megan I am sorry to begin with. But 27 years? No way no how will I ever be unhappy that long. Where I do agree with you is peope are being used or abused for their own satisfaction. Their is a lot of that going on in the world, and not just one gender.
"personally I think it's more fulfilling to be in a GOOD relationship, but worse to be in a BAD one.."
One of the better lines I have seen in the forums. | |
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2008 9:51:24 AM | This is a very neat topic indeed! I love reading all these different responses, and so much depends upon our particular experiences (good; bad; indifferent.)
Oh, Lord. I want the best of both worlds. I am pretty independent and I don't want to live with a man without being married. So, I would absolutely adore a relationship in which he and I did have a certain level of commitment, but he would have his place and I would have mine. I just feel like that would be wonderful -- then, we'd be together because we wanted to be and not because of any forced obligations or responsibilities.
Guess that does sound rather selfish, doesn't it?  But, I truly think such a relationship IS possible. All I lack is the guy!  | |
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2008 9:52:48 AM | | I can relate to everything you are saying and then some. I feel the same way you do. I have had relations and when they have ended, I find myself withdrawing into my own world and enjoying it a lot. It is very therapeutic and I discover each time how much I often prefer my own company. Since I am becoming convinced that I will never meet the woman of my dreams, I am making my own world more attractive to me since it is becoming clearer every day that I will be the only inhabitant of it. I am my own best friend. | |
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2008 12:13:59 PM | i definitely feel this way- i spent so much time single and really enjoyed it- the freedom to be selfish-lol-
i have a great guy now and i love spending time with him but at the same time i still need my own space
hes wonderful about it- when i say i need my space and dont want to see you for a couple days...
he goes with it! amazing aint it-lol- im so appreciative
and pretty much the whole time im having my alone time, i miss him- but i know i need that time to take a break and not get all wrapped up in things so that i dont suddenly want out of the relationship from feeling smothered.
it sucks in the sense that it hurts his feelings but in the long run i know its necessary to keep myself from sabotaging the relationship.
now as far as once we get down the line and live together- i dont know what happens to managing that whole alone time- lol- not like i can really kick him out for a couple days every few weeks- eek!
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2008 2:21:52 PM | Re: Posts 232 and 235
These two posts express what, to me, is the "ideal". Attractive women, who want a man in their lives, but also retain their personal autonomy, as I retain mine. It seems to be the hardest kind of relationship to find, or maintain.
When I've expressed a desire for exactly that sort of relationship, I've always found myself pilloried in the fora for being a "player". More relevant is that I've found women, who agree it's what they want too, only to wake up 3-6 months down the road, to find that they've moved in. And, at that point, of course there are feelings, and a desire to have them in my life that overwhelms my desire for autonomy, and "Voila", I have a "roommate".
I'm "there" now, and most guys my age would think I'd won life's lottery. She's 31, a size 2, pretty, intelligent, and the sex is great, but more and more I yearn for having days alone, with no one I have to respond to, no one expecting me to "do stuff", and basically just wanting to be a slob, with a beer in my hand watching SportsCenter. | |
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/2/2008 2:48:45 PM | | I appreciated being alone for 7 years while trying to find out what my body was doing to me medically. Now that I know, I have found someone on this site who loves and respects me. We just moved in together and I like feeling there's someone else out there looking out for me and being concerned for my health and happiness. | |
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/4/2008 2:05:40 AM | After 2 failed relationships in the last 3 years, I'm tired of being hurt and being dumped during the holidays...
I respect people's feelings, but I have no darn clue with women sometimes... so to answer the OP question, I would say yes I'd rather be alone and lonely than to deal with the emotional wreck that occurrs after a breakup...
May in 6 monts I'll feel differently, but at the moment I want to never feel this again... | |
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/4/2008 2:13:36 AM | I've become accustomed to living alone. I can eat, sleep, type away on this forum whenever I want without being beholden to anyone else. But it's not better. It's just something I learned to become comfortable with.
I miss the shoulder I used to lay my head against in bed and I miss the ears that heard my musings. I am content alone but I would not say that it is better than not being alone. | |
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/4/2008 2:34:41 AM |
most guys my age would think I'd won life's lottery. She's 31, a size 2, pretty, intelligent, and the sex is great, but more and more I yearn for having days alone, with no one I have to respond to, no one expecting me to "do stuff", and basically just wanting to be a slob, with a beer in my hand watching SportsCenter
That's because you're 58, Ren Man (oops MeloFelow can't get used to calling you that).
You're not 31 - the age difference is catching up with you. | |
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/4/2008 10:35:05 AM | ^^^^^^^^ you better not go off topic or you may have someone 1500 hundred miles away email and tear you a new one. That happened to me the other night when I was doing as you did. Reply to the previous post.
OOOOPS did I just go off topic? Please don't hurt me. PEOPLE!!!!!
27 years is quite the difference. I know I would rather be alone than with somebody 27 years older than me.
I love not having to answer to anybody. And the stress? Oh what stress? There isn't any. | |
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/4/2008 12:28:30 PM | | The times I have allowed a man in my life for more than a now and then thing, they become demanding, high maintenence, whiney, cranky, and basically tire me out. It`s been aweful for me. No way, no how, will I ever let a man mess up my life like that again. I will stay alone. Thank you very much. | |
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/4/2008 5:54:27 PM | | I would rather be alone . Untill I know he is worth having me. I will not waste one more day being with someone who was never as honest as me.Life is to short I have learned that because of a very good friend of mine who is dieing. I promised her that I would love me more and the right one will come along and I know it will all be worth it. Then someday I will look back and say!!!WHAT WAS I THINKING! | |
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/4/2008 6:02:48 PM | Expectations on both sides are just ridiculous. Who can live up to what we envision?
We think we are not picky. We are. Who really wants to compromise anyhow?
Be happy to the fullest extent you can be by yourself, don't look down. Maybe someone will want to join you on your walk of life, maybe not. Is it worth waiting around for or even leaving the radar on for "potential?" I just don't know. | |
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seaga
| | Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 249 | |
| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/4/2008 6:08:31 PM | | OP i agree with you..at this stage of my life that situation would be ideal for me where i can have someone but we can still live as if we are single (not including sleeping with other people) lol..and just being with that person to fill that "void" when we need it..like you said the only thing would be knowing when we should spend time together and when to be apart..but i dont think that would be much of a problem..that could be worked out..however as i get older and is ready for a family i will definitely want to have someone who i am in a serious committed relationship. I want to have such a relationship in 2-3 years obviously if it comes earlier than that i will not let it go :) | |
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| Does anyone like being alone better? Can you take or leave having a relationship?
Posted: 12/4/2008 7:47:42 PM | At this time in my life I enjoy being alone....two months ago I ended a relationship after a year and a half with a very selfish, dishonest, cold-hearted, argumentative, judgmental, confrontational, obnoxious, resentful, unkind, controlling, emotionally unavailable woman. I feel so much more healthy, I'm going to enjoy my 'freedom'.....
life is good right now. | |
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