| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 7/24/2007 8:25:32 AM | My son encouraged me to start looking around. He had a lot of complementary things to say and gave me the courage to begin looking rather than waiting for something to happen. More than anything I want to find someone who wants to get on with living. Something my son told me made me think. He said "Mom, lots of men date younger women. It makes more sense for older women to date younger men because their life expectancy will even out."
There are many levels to attraction. I can't see that being defined by age, but what is to be gained by lying about our age. I'd rather be thought to old than dishonest. | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 7/24/2007 11:51:44 AM | | LOL..I love it !! CAn U imagine having to show U'r ID in order to have a first date !!! | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 7/24/2007 11:56:53 AM | | Hear! Hear!! U got it.... Age is one thing, but the height thing is my biggest peev with all men....DO they really think We women will not notice !! DUH!!!!! Its always the ones who are 5'7" or less that think they are 5' 10"... Something is wrong when they look in the mirror.. | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 7/25/2007 5:03:31 PM | Not everyone can be 6'2 or still 30 why is that so hard too see.
He said "Mom, lots of men date younger women. It makes more sense for older women to date younger men because their life expectancy will even out."
You have too be kidding right when the guy is 40 and the woman is 60 the guy will be gone, you have too face reality no matter what it a fact of life. I cannot possibly have anything in common with someone 20 years younger and I know I'm not the only one to see things that way. It's the same for both sides it's wanting that feeling of being young again, it cannot happen nothing you do will change that. And living longer is no longer that far apart between men and women maybe a couple years at best. | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 8/1/2007 6:43:03 PM | OOO, touched a nerve, didn't we steveracer? Who said anything about a 20 year age difference? How about she's 50, he's 45? 50 and 48? What is your benchmark?
So, did you date an older woman or something? After a point age is less relevant than experience. I think "cougars" are in the minority, but you sure see enough of it the other direction. | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 8/3/2007 12:26:09 AM | I'm 53...my guy is 34....He is a great fella and we met here but get on this site once in a while for the forums...-we are together now 4 years....he thought I was younger and I thought he was older although we posted REAL pics-when we met it was great fun...and you are right most guys want to meet someone younger and I just think it's because of the firm body,tight skin etc....but most young girls won't consider an older man unless he has money and a house.When will these silly old farts realize this? lol
When I was with an older guy he complained constantly about his ex,their kids,etc.
Life is great now and I hope that yopu will KEEP on this site because good chances are you will meet someone! Keep the faith! | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 8/3/2007 5:31:12 AM | | I dont think age is an issue...attraction is...and where and how do you meet the right guy? | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 8/3/2007 7:46:58 AM | In response to notard's comment, "When the time comes that I no longer appeal to substantially younger women I suppose I will have to settle for a companion nearer my age."
I don't care who dates who or how old they are. Whatever gets you through the night! But, settle for?! That seems a bit arrogant and obnoxious on your part. If I thought a guy was just settling for me, he'd be out on his bum, no question! Obviously you haven't dated enough women your own age...they're quite fabulous! My wish for you is that younger women never lose their appeal for you...only because I wouldn't want some poor, unsuspecting, older woman to be the one you had to settle for. | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 8/5/2007 2:22:00 PM | leo52..........a man your age only wishes he can find somebody younger......lol......
its an ego thing........makes them feel young......and keeps one foot out of the grave....
A sincere man your age.....will look at the qualities of the woman.........and not the age..........happy fishing | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 8/5/2007 6:06:57 PM | | I think that if a nice, thoughtful, regular guy doesn't get responses, perhaps he should question whether he is targeting the right women. I have often seen profiles of men who do not state any exemplary qualities and whose pictures and physiques are not particularly attractive or even fit yet who specify that they will only consider women who are "beautiful", "fit", "athletic", "a knockout," etc. I have even seen profiles of men who seem to recognize the incongruity of looking for someone slim when they are not, affluent when they are not, well-educated when they are not, etc. etc. but who emphasize that they "want what they want." There is a lack of realism there and a self-defeating pattern of holding out for the dream and ignoring women with whom they might experience happiness. I'm sure there are women like that as well. | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 8/5/2007 6:20:15 PM | to quote only a portion of sunshineliberty's comment on notards post on page 1...
only because I wouldn't want some poor, unsuspecting, older woman to be the one you had to settle for.
Im sure that won't be a worrisome problem... the profile sends a ton of red flags to older women.... Older women reading his posts won't be giving him the time of day.. or settling for him... best of luck to him though...we all deserve somebody that will share our happiness with us, no matter what the age.... | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 8/16/2007 9:45:33 AM |
There is a lack of realism there and a self-defeating pattern of holding out for the dream and ignoring women with whom they might experience happiness. I'm sure there are women like that as well.
Yes, I have encountered a number of women who are quick to reject any man they don't see as fitting their idea of "prince charming". This is one of the big problems with Internet dating; both men and women seem to be looking for perfection and won't take the time to get to know regular, ordinary people. | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 12/6/2007 2:16:33 PM | There are a number of us---average-looking guys with average-paying jobs, who know that MOST people in their 40s and 50s have put on a few pounds, have a few wrinkles, and maybe (horrors!) even have a little bit of arthritis setting in.
We know that outer beauty is just that: outer. We hope that women feel the same way; that is, that they judge us on our personality and character rather than our physique and income.
So, ladies, take heart ! We are out there, believe it or not.
Good luck!
John | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 12/7/2007 4:03:02 AM | The age problem thing is how you look and feel - as in your "real age" thing that is so popular right now.
I love modern music (not rap, just new artists from Death Cab for Cutie to Neil Young), I'm slim, don't smoke, don't have kids, I love modern technology, etc. A lot of much younger people are stuck in the oldie goldie mold in more ways than one.
So if I put my real age of 57 and in January it'll be 58, that does not attract men!!
So that is why we shave a few years off. And you have limited your age group in any event.
The profile on personals is a starting point, nothing more. | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 12/7/2007 5:40:08 AM | | I dont "shave" a few years off my age.That is lying and you wonder why the men get upset when they find out you lied.I am proud to be my age of 51.Its who I am.Cant change it.Either the person accepts me for that or they can find someone who is younger.Doesnt bother me.But I would bet that a man would prefer honesty over a woman"shaving" a few yrs off.I look and feel better at 51 then I did when I was in my 30s and 40s. | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 12/7/2007 12:05:04 PM | what is age after all? it means absoluetly nothing unless your buying a house or a boat or a car, ok ok maybe milk and condoms too, but in people, age means nothing, I'd love to date a much older woman than a younger one, but that's my prefferance, I see a lot of profiles where you wonder if the age has been shaved few seasons, and btw debb1110 it looks like you've added 10, judging by those legs | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 12/7/2007 5:02:01 PM | | I agree totally. Saying women "shave a few years off" their age is a gross and erroneous generalization. Most women today are proud of how they look at their age.....I know I am....and have no problem with it. If you eat healthy, live healthy, and exercise, you can look very good at any age. It is true that the aging process accelerates after fifty. This is a physiological fact. But not everyone ages in the same way, or to the same degree. There is great variation. All we can do is look the best we can for the age we are at. | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 12/8/2007 12:58:48 PM | I prefer someone younger than I.
some women look at me as a father figure, and/or a confident! If she is young in her thinking, I like it. She brings a fresh aspect to my life.
My wife is old thinking, does not like change, and dead in bed, which is why I am looking outside for fresh thinking, a good cuddler, and kisser.
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 12/8/2007 4:10:48 PM | not all men are looking for younger women.....at least i'm not.....prefer a woman within my own age bracket give or take 4 or 5 years!!!!!! VIPER | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 12/8/2007 5:10:56 PM | As you go along in life, we all have to admit that we are who we are! The most common complaint I get when I talk to men is that woman put up pictures of themselves when they were younger. I had one fellow tell me that he had a meet set up with a woman and he walked by her three times before she called out his name. She had apparently put up a younger version of herself. He said looks aren't that important to him if all else is good, but he said he couldn't handle the dishonesty. She had already lied.
It happens with men too, I've run into that myself. I agreed to meet a man whose profile said he was 50, his picture matched that age. When I met him, he was at least 15 years older (maybe even 20 years) than his picture. As a matter of fact if I had walked by him I wouldn't have known it was him. It's disappointing for one thing. I didn't question him about it, but it was a short meet and never heard from him again.
I feel no need to lie about it. If someone doesn't like me for who I am, so be it.....I can only be myself!! I'm real bad about trying to be someone I'm not. It's exhausting to keep up the charade!  | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 12/9/2007 12:03:29 AM | | Morefunwith2: I beg your pardon, I am a woman and I never lie about my age. I am 56-years-old and unlike many men who state in their profiles "I look much younger than my age", I just say I am 56. To one person I may look 56, to another person I may look 50, and to another person I may look 60, so beauty is in the eye of the beholder. No two people looking at you see the same thing. | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 12/9/2007 5:07:39 AM | | Beauty is in the eye of the beholder of course. But what makes us beautiful. Is it really a physical appearance. Yes and no. We all know that beauty can go beyond our physical appearence. Some of us take great care of ourselves and others don't. | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 12/9/2007 10:15:04 AM | To the Guy Inamonkeysuit..
I think you are dressed exactly right for what your looking for..and being that your first and second wives didn't find you worth keeping..tells me that you are always looking and never mind the age.. which is pretty much coming right from your own words.. your not worthy of any real women at any age..for anything more than what your are already getting..and the monkeysuit code name just screams for help.. beware of whining about women with a few extra lbs..it is a dead give away of a man who's holister has gotten much bigger than his pistol..
No harm intended but like you..I tell it like it is... | |
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| Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 12/9/2007 10:34:55 AM | If you find him..will you see if he has a twin brother?
I would give the world to find a older man that is sure of himself and has overcme his insecurities and accepts not only his age but mine as well..
It makes them so sexy when they know that it makes them look stupied to have some gal that is the same age as some of their granddaughters.. for arm candy.. sorta like Robert Redford and Clint Eastwood..they both dumpped their older wives for younger women..lost my respect..even as actors..
Are there Anna Nicholes out there? millions of them and the ones that get them (IMO)deserve them.. but sadly it dose seem that a lot of older men on dating sites are after just that..I think they are trying to fullfill a childhood dream..of being the guy who got to take the homecoming queen to the prom...
Now please...I'm not say all men..just that what ejlvetolaugh said is right on the button and saddly if they are not going through a mid-life crisis then they probley aren't on the dating sites to begin with..   | |
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