| Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/31/2008 12:54:30 PM |
We hear enough from our families....why aren't you married? why haven't you found someone? why don't you make me a grandkid already....who wants to hear it from anywhere else?
I'm not 30, but I'm getting there (26) and I've always been mostly a loner. I've had two relatively serious relationships in the 10 years of my dating career, the rest were a few weeks here, a couple months there, etc. Couple that with the fact that I'm not having children, and you get most of my family accepting the idea that I'm gay and in the closet.   | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/31/2008 1:22:47 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I'm sure that you will find your guy that will want to join you in the closet.
::makes note to self:: Try closet sex sometime.........sound interesting......be careful of loose, metal hangers.
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/31/2008 6:02:51 PM | Some people post single when they are widows/ widowers so scammers do not go after them.
To be honest what is problem? | |
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| You got me, a forum I can relate to !!
Posted: 8/31/2008 8:23:00 PM | | I wrote a reply, but heh-heh, the page expired. OOPS!! Anyway, if you click on send message and say "hi" it would eliminate most/initial assumptions,judging and stereotyping. If you feel it opens more questions that you assume you don't wanna know the answer, then us being single and childless are not the ones with problems. if the curiosity is killing you, then take a moment to get to know the person in the now, not the past. If it doesn't work then move on. If it works, then ask yourself "Am I with this person cuz I wanna know the answer or am I actually getting closer". | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 8/31/2008 8:27:58 PM | Piscescoda,
Just turned 30. I think my grandmother thought I was in the closet as well until just the past couple years. So I understand that one..haha I've moved around a lot my entire life which made relationships difficult. I have had three serious relationships and the rest were the month here few weeks there. Maybe I should grow some roots somewhere. Ehhh...if it finds me..it finds me. Until then..I guess i'll be in my closet (at least in my families mind) with the plastic hangers (wire hangers are too dangerous) | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/1/2008 2:17:10 AM | | i think its fine that people are on here voicing how in all there oppinions are that you are smart never to have married and had kids ,you must realise that they are oppinions and i for one dont agree. i am 20 years old i have been married for 4 years i have a 3 year old son [with learning difficultys] i have done all this by myself managing very well thank-you with-out any help from anyone and the way i see my life is with pride i have everything ive ever wanted, i have a house ,a kid, a hubby with a well payed job, i want for nothing.so really i have achevied what most people achevied in theres late thirtys and for that i am proud. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:15:12 AM | | Not to be rude, but the comments are based on people in their 30's. Not 20 years old. You have no idea what life you live between 20 and 30. I'm happy for you and your happiness and I hope it lasts forever. But please do not think you have any idea of what someone who is in their 30's has gone through just because you started playing house early in your life. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:27:09 AM | | No disrespect Rose666. Truly I am happy for you. A young woman who has it all together and ok with it. It's nice to see. But I have to agree with tanzanite. Different paths for different people doesn't mean anyone is smarter than the other. I've been around this country over the years, and the only regret I have is not sharing it with someone, that does not mean I've given up, it just means I get to play the fine wine ( matures with age) card and hope someone buys it !! C'YA | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:48:46 AM | rose666: there are innumerable stories of men and women who took the path that you did, only to have everything fall apart around them, sometimes without any say from them! Plenty of people just aren't ready to be married by the green age of 16. And the war stories are so frequent, that many people shy away from placing all of their eggs in one basket so easily/quickly.
I hope that everything continues to work wonderfully for you. It just hasn't for many others. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/1/2008 10:42:49 AM | | Tanz: I long walks on the beach, puppies and low cost auto insurance: | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/1/2008 11:01:15 AM | I'd just assume this person hasn't found the one he'd like to marry and have kids with. Why assume anything else? Why should there be an age limit as to when we should all follow the supposed rules of society?
Hell, I'm 44 - never been married and don't have kids. Does that make me a leper or something? No, it simply means I haven't found the one that I'd like to spend the rest of my life with - and I do not WANT kids. The rules shouldn't be any different whether you're a man or a woman.
Just my 2 cents on the matter. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:02:49 PM | Ok you two!!!
Get a room already!!
The other fish are starting to look gloomy!!! | |
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| gloomy fish
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:23:50 PM | | Don't stop now, first fun I've had on this site. 19 views, 1 skammer response(pretty damn sad) Profile currently under construction. somebody got a camera? | |
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| gloomy fish
Posted: 9/1/2008 7:23:42 PM | | sounds like a productive day on POF to me! | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/3/2008 3:21:19 PM | | I don't because I don't have kids and I've never been married. Not that I don't want either, I'd like them to happen in a certain order and so far...no dice. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 9/3/2008 4:23:33 PM | I'm kind of stunned to hear that there are people out there who actually
think there's something wrong with me because I am over 40 and single an
childless. There's actually another thread on here that accuses me and
guys like me of being selfish simply because I happen to now be over 40 and
never been married.
Let's see, maybe I could have been married a couple of years ago, but I
needed to put my new career and my life on hold for a year and a half to
care for my elderly parents who both became I'll at the same time, then
I lost my father, and need to make sure my 82 year old mother could
function without her husband of 65 years..Yeah I guess that's selfish...
Maybe I could have gotten married in the 6 years prior to that but
suddenly after working in a career since I was 16, I had a "calling" and
ended up (kicking and screaming mind you) to devote 4 years to going to
graduate school, so I could help my fellow man...yeah I guess that's
selfish...
Maybe I could have gotten married in my early 30's, but let's see I was
"working on myself" doing all sorts of personal growth stuff, so I could
be a better human being...to potentially be a great partner to someone,
and an even better father than my father was to me, because he came from
a time where men didn't necessarily show affection, especially to their
male children because they wanted them to be tough, and I didn't want to
be that kind of parent/husband when I did find the right person to share
my life with...yeah I guess that was selfish of me..
Hmm maybe I could have gotten married when I was in my 20's, yeah that
would have been a great time, when I was struggling financially, and was
basically an arrogant and immature twit who didn't know anything about
life, and was barely a few years out on my own..hmm that's a great time
to get married eh? A better time to be a parent too?
Getting married when we're "young and dumb" as opposed to when we've
learned a a few things about life, the universe, how to be a partner is
"unselfish?" Or the reason the divorce rates are so high, and there's so
many people in there 30's and 40's on here (and in society) who are
listed as seperated or divorced???
And who carry enough baggage with them to fill at least 2 U-Hauls.
Now that doesn't mean I haven't had relationships...I was engaged once
when I was young and dumb, and again about 5 years ago, neither of those
worked for various and complicated reason. I've also had a couple long
term relationships, where we realized that we weren't "it" for each
other and parted ways, and countless other dates and periods of dating
women for a short period on the quest for finding the right one...
Usually one if not both of us agreed that we just weren't the ones for each other for the long haul.
There's no shame in being single....Our lives are complicated. I'd
rather be single and relatively happy than with the wrong one and be
miserable...I've been there way too many times. The only difference is,
that I didn't jump into anything...I'm looking for a rest of my life
partner, I only want to be married once. I'm glad I found out before
hand that it wasn't going to work, with whoever it was....that way I
won't be bitter and judgemental like many of the people who start
threads like this. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/16/2009 5:02:02 AM | Never had children of my own I guess not in Gods plans for I had wanted children.
I have been married and did do the until death do us part my husband passed away after almost 22 years together from a brain tumor.
I believe that life gives you chances, if you do not ever take one then you are the one being left behind or passed up. I took a chance on a man sixteen years older , he never looked it and was very active and had longevity in his family oh well I nolonger plan I just do or live. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/16/2009 7:24:02 AM | | I'm 37 and was never even in a relationship yet. The reasons are I feel uncomfortable with emotional closeness (probably due to Autism), and I refuse to "lower my standards" and "settle" for someone I'm not really into. I have met some women who I would go out of my "comfort zone" for and try to enter a relationship with but they are never interested in me in that way. For the most part I would rather be involved in an active social life with many cool people, although it seems most people my age settle down and foresake the lifestyle I desire, in favor of raising a family and focusing on a career, and smile less. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/16/2009 7:45:30 AM | | I prefer never married and no kids! I want someone that has time to date and time for me! When u get into the ones with kids they don't have time to date. I require someone with alot of time for me.The every othe weekend don't work for me. If I were doing that I would have to find someone to date the off weekend! Why should someone have to sit home cause one has their kids? I think people with kids should date people with kids and get their schedules so they have the same weekend off! | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/16/2009 3:35:49 PM | Divorce, separated... call it what you want, but it's still a failure.
To compare:
No soldier wants to serve under a general whose lost a war (even if he says "he's changed" or learned a lot since then). They'd rather serve under a general who has a string of victories to his name. It's just common sense. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/16/2009 6:12:27 PM | rose666,
i for one dont agree. i am 20 years old i have been married for 4 years i have a 3 year old son ... so really i have achevied what most people achevied in theres late thirtys and for that i am proud
Okay, so now you're 21, on a dating site, listed as single, and looking for older men, and point out you find the charles manson types interesting in your profile.
Still look at people who were never married as those who have a lack of "achievements"? lol | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 3/17/2009 12:45:38 PM | | I'm 38 never married and no kids, been engaged twice, but it just never worked out. I have use protection and even had this cause problems in relationships. Now I feel I am ready to support a family. I have a college degree, a great carreer, and my house will be paid off in 9 months. If I already had kids it would be great, but I would be a part time Dad and my kids would hardly know me. Thats not the way I want to raise a family. Until I meet a woman that I feel will be with me for the rest of our livies I will not get married. I have had great times and know wounderful relationships with women many of I an still friends with. I do not have any regretes in my life and the decisions I have made. | |
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