| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/14/2007 4:51:41 PM | | At this time in my life, I don't believe in marriage. I also don't think it would be responsible for me to give birth to children. So,...society, you're welcome. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/14/2007 5:33:18 PM |
You see a profile of interest & he or she is 30something & up, as you continue 2 read a lil further, you notice that he or she has never been married & has 0 kids, do you question why or just immediately make assumptions?
I wouldn't assume or question. I find that a good quality/trait, nothing troubling about that to me.  | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/14/2007 7:42:21 PM | If I catch a hint of negative assumptions...I smile, turn and walk the other way.
No time to deal with that kind of crap! I've made good choices in some areas of my life, don't give me crap about it! | |
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Sigi
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Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 79 | |
| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/15/2007 4:11:27 PM |
You see a profile of interest & he or she is 30something & up, as you continue 2 read a lil further, you notice that he or she has never been married & has 0 kids, do you question why or just immediately make assumptions?
Why would you question me or immediately making assumptions?  | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/16/2007 11:06:03 AM | I don't make assumptions about someone who has never been married and has no kids. Why should I?
Oddly, I am currently involved with someone who has never married or had kids and although it doesn't give me even a moments hesitation, it bothers my mom and my friends. Go figure. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/17/2007 7:09:02 AM | | A person that makes no assumptions about a person after learning two huge facts about them (not married/no kids) to me seems pretty unperceptive. You don't have to make ignorant or bad assumptions, you can make perfectly good assumptions about the information. Forming no opinion at all sounds pretty indecisive. Without a biological impairment (mental or physical) it will always mean the person has priorities placed higher than intimate family life. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/17/2007 10:31:24 AM | | I know why I have done neither so I can't make assumptions about another that has done the same. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/17/2007 10:43:58 AM | Where are those profiles? I need someone well over 30 without kids! 
I'd assume he isn't into having a family, never found someone to have kids with, or maybe he's still searching.... | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/17/2007 12:26:23 PM | I'm 47, have never married or had kids and am fine with it. I haven't ruled it out, it has just never felt right. One of my friends sang at the 1st wedding of a 58 year old last year, so anything is possible.
I am the type of person who would rather be alone and happy than encumbered and miserable. My reasons are that I have watched some family and friends marry more than once and be unhappy. I have had opportunities to do so, and have always believed that when/if it was meant to happen, it would.
I have not had kids because I have never married and I am old-fashioned in that respect. it is also a tremendous responsibility and I have never felt that I could live up to my standards. By the same toke, I have lots of nieces and nephews and have watched and participated in the raising of some of my friends kids. This has been satisfying. As I tell people, I love to spoil, hop them up on sugar and give 'em back!
When I was in my 30's, people would get very intrusive with the questions and comments, like you are a "pretty girl", why? I had a repetoire of smart a$$ed replies such as: I was meant to be a mistress, hide your husband. This would shut them up and send them on their merry way.
As I've gotten older, no one gives me any nonsense. They are either stunned or congratulate me. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/17/2007 1:47:37 PM | Perhaps he just had more sense than to get married?
Why buy a book when you can join a library ? | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/17/2007 2:16:03 PM | had a few opportunities when younger, but hindsight is a wonderful thing :)
one friend has had all the kids, then he had 2 female friends stay over, both got pregnant by some strange man and the kids looked like him, his missus went up north to see some of her friends and stayed there and married him... plenty of friends who got married, divorced - one of whom seems to have given the ex everything to get away..
used to stutter badly, which sort of knocked the self confidence, especially having excellent hearing and hearing the comments... so marriage never was a major thing for me, but not religious either
looking around here and there, if it happens it will, if it does not, then it won't | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/18/2007 8:46:53 AM | i don't question why, but i move on because i don't want children so i tend not to date men who are childless...
because in all likelihood they are going to want some...and i think they should...having children is the best, most rewarding experience in life. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 5/19/2007 3:11:20 AM | So, do men become suspicious of women who are over 30, never married and never mothered a child?
And if so, what are the suspicions?
I am very curious to know.... | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/1/2007 4:02:43 PM |
So, do men become suspicious of women who are over 30, never married and never mothered a child? And if so, what are the suspicions? I am very curious to know.... Well me for one, I'm not like that, but to make my own "assumption" to this curiosity of yours, some men might look at it as you are unwilling to commit to a long term relationship, whether it is marriage, or something else. While others would look at it as that you are only waiting for "the one." Either case requires the man to assume something about you. And personally, I do not like to make suppositions about people I don't know. Rather than make an assumption, I would just ask. But thats me. I do not beat around the bush in regards to my "love life"... If I am comfortable with someone, they will know that, because I will tell them. If it doesn't work out, whether its anyone's fault or not, then it doesn't work out. Each relationship we have in our lives, whether they're our friends, family or a love interest tells everyone around us who we really are. And if you look at it long enough, you'll figure out pretty quickly that all men, and all women pretty much want the same thing. The difference however, is not as simple. Who we choose to date, who we choose to marry, and who we choose as our friends, is a direct light of who we are inside. And there is the key. If you know yourself, then you know what you want, and what you need. I think thats enough rambling for one day eh? lol  Daniel myspace.com/aerylonblackwolf | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/2/2007 3:11:03 AM | well i don't make asumtions simple I dont have children my self and my form long term soul mate had no interest in them, and it was not a major issue with me most of my friends had children and i was with them so much you just wound up helping out,
so its just hard to say why someone has no children. until you have some facts its a good idea to not put to huch thought into it. now i understand most ppl do the oposite.
and smile while doing it. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/2/2007 3:20:55 AM | shes a crazzy assed **** and is cold as hell
a over achiver type -A and hates men but decided shes no longer into women.
shes working over time to get a family..
has killed her prvious huby and child for insurance.
has a family but left them.
she was a major slut for years and has had a few surical procedures to help her out..
ohh those are a few i heard but ive never actually bothered..
since im single and have been for 3 years that would be like hiting my self with an ice pick..
now my x gf.. she was a typical type -a didnt like kids.. and never hid it. but oddly shes vary good with children is a wonderful teacher.. its more she never wanted children..
so good luck in your curiosity. ive never under stood why ppl make certain asumtions.
now im terrble with asuptions with guys lol i asume the worst due to the fct im a guy and have to watch my own motivtions lol.. and most of the guys i know or have were total jerks to female friends. so im biased. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:45:32 PM | I can't speak for all men but no I don't become suspicious of a woman over 30 who has never married and has no children. She more than likely has yet to meet the right guy for her. I wonder though if this single gal has friends that just know the perfect someone for her to meet. Gotta love those situations!
I guess I like to go by the ole rule, judge not for that judgment is for you. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:41:32 PM | | I agree we are smart enough not to breed. It is call planning why go and have kids with everyone that says I love you....why not get married first. I am 41, never married and have no kids and no regrets or anything. I am not into have illegitimate kids for my sake as well as the child. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/4/2007 7:14:32 AM | There can be lots of reasons.
- The person can be very shy
- Never developed those skills to get a partner
- May have had a traumatic life experience and has avoided marriage/having kids because of it but wants them
- Maybe from a community that had a poor sampling of potential mates and never left that community,
- Lck of confidence
- Bad relationships in the past and is afraid of getting involved
- not interested
- pursuing a career
There are lots of reasons. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/4/2007 10:38:05 AM | My reasons for not having any children & not being married (Yet) are certainly NOT from a lack of confidence, lack of interest or skills, etc.
Life presents many choices. It's up to us to decide on what choices we make & to be prepared to take Responsibility for our actions. If the results of our chosen actions have proven us wrong, then we must learn from our mistakes, do our best and move on. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/4/2007 6:04:14 PM | I'm honestly thankful that they don't have any kids.
Because coming in after a woman has had kids leads to "you can't tell my kids that, you'r not their daddy" bullshit. 
Of course, that usually leads to a "of course I'm not their father, I actually am concerned with acting like a REAL man unlike the man who knocked you up and left you for someone else".
No fun for either side so I tend to avoid that situation. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/5/2007 10:21:28 PM | Great post Red Queen!!
That's exactly my situation. It's not lack of anything. It's that we sometimes make the wrong decision. Unfortunately, choosing the wrong guy (1st choice) and then sticking with him longer than we should (2nd choice) seemed to take up some time that could have been better spent with the right guy.
But - you learn from that, and become wiser (hopefully), and don't get yourself in the same situation again!
That's pretty much why I'm in my 30's and have never married or had kids with those guys (for which I'm truly grateful!). If the right guy had come along, my life would be different. That being said, I like my life as it is, except I would enjoy not being single. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/5/2007 10:48:25 PM | I myself fall into this category!Why? Simply because I chose to pursue a career first and than possibly find that person to settle with. I am also a firm believer in you have to choose wisely with whom you settle with. Today I feel that divorce is just too easy and people do not try hard enough to make their marriages work. If I am going to be married for a life time.....I really have to like the person I am marrying  | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/6/2007 12:26:34 AM | Never married ............no kids...........and no HEADACHES.........
thank you .........very much. | |
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| Never married & no kids
Posted: 7/6/2007 2:06:23 PM | | Perhaps the guy has been gay and thats the reason he never got married or had kids. | |
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