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ddream
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Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 27 | |
| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/12/2007 4:34:43 AM | LOL... I guess men are evil huh? Well we are I'm sure, but not all of us.. But I know some women that could join the evil club though.. 
As far as being padded on the back or labelled, well I don't actually know why that is, but it might have something to do with the prehistorics? Still figuring that out and am clueless..
I guess back in the day (when we were still clubbing women down with our bats and grunts) it must have started..  I'm still clueless of the why though.. I guess we will never find any scientific prove of why, when and how it got this way... But if you have a thought then lemme know, I'm dying to find out... | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/12/2007 3:16:59 PM | Yeah let's get technical here the OP said men ACTING LIKE DOGS she didn't say men were DOGS now did she?
Anytime a woman has a question in these forums automatically she is bashing all men. OMG give her a break. Automatically the men get their undies in a bunch over it. Automatically it is a war between the sexes. What is up with being so sensitive?
Maybe women should just keep their thoughts to themselves because alot of guys around here really don't want to hear what we think. Heaven forbid women having deep thoughts.
Maybe we should just lay around with our legs open and a zipper on our mouths and become used to the fact that we are all sluts whose thoughts are good for nothing.
Guess then there wouldn't be forums asking for advice about dating. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/12/2007 7:07:22 PM | There is a problem with your question, and as long as you're asking the wrong question, you'll never get a real answer. That problem is that you're asking this as a sort of global ideology, held by men and women alike. It really ought not to be.
You need to put yourself into the heads of men. If you did this, the problems would disappear.
First, remember that it's men who created these values, without a doubt. If women follow them, it's their own problem (And it is a problem, just like men trying to understand or follow women's values -- men aren't women, women aren't men).
Next, remember that overwhelmingly, men have sex with women(If they can), but they don't tend to have sex with men. Also remember that men like sex.
Now, for a man to see other men having lots of sex, it means that their friends are getting to do something they like doing. Of course, being good friends, men will support other men for this. There's also an element of envy. Every man wants to be the guy getting lots of sex. There are plenty of reasons for another guy having lots of sex to be a celebrated event.
For a woman to be having sex, however, this means something else: Danger. A woman who has had many sexual partners carries an increased risk of STDs. There's also a risk of being accused of being the parent to an unwanted child that isn't yours. Finally, if the man decides to commit to this woman, there's an perceived risk that this woman will be unfaithful. There are plenty of reasons for a woman having lots of sex to be maligned.
I'm not a woman, but I'd guess that the reason these values have been accepted by both men and women is that it appeals to a woman's competitive side to say that the best players of the game(And make no mistake, it is a game, completely detached from reality) are the worst.
Hi. I'm the Engineering Emo. I think too much. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/12/2007 8:09:57 PM | | It takes no effort for a woman to become a slut, whereas it takes significant effort for a man to become a slut. For a man it's an accomplishment, for a woman it's a sign of a lack of self-control. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/12/2007 8:46:43 PM | Well I don’t sleep around so ..........
From my rather limited experience (married most of my life) since I’ve been single. I can’t imagine how guys could be any more loosy goosy about sex that the females I went out with. It was just part of the damn date to them.
Any date - any guy. Just one more pecker - this weeks pecker - just like last weeks pecker and next weeks pecker.
I was no different than any other guy to them. They were all in their 40s an nice looking.
If this is the "independent woman” these forms are full of (are guys intimidated by ........... blah blah blah) - other guys can have them - I sure as hell don’t want them. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/13/2007 1:50:35 AM | | I totally agree with naturegirl7 's outlook. In fact I have taken University courses that explain it the same way. Men are threatened by the power of women and therefore try to crush it. Not all men, but men who aren't self aware or consummed by tradition. I met a guy on this site who actually states that women are the key to the end of AIDS, poverty and the key to world peace. That really made me want to talk to him. It's an enlightened view and is very attractive in a man. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/13/2007 4:03:32 AM | | I personally think it's not anything anyone should be doing. Save sex for the trustworthy and make sure they are first. Get to know them for who they are first so you know their level of maturity. If someone is so immature that they need to prove something to their friends or just random people at a bar, they aren't worth the shit they flush. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/13/2007 3:21:25 PM | Society, Religion, Family, perpetuation of double standards, the list goes on. I agree with naturegirl7 It's all about control and that is truly sad. This double standard has been around and unfortunately is not going away, but you can minimize its impact in your life! I recommend that you actively take steps to do just that!
I can not control what others do / say, but I am aware that they do / say it and keep my matters private accordingly. I also actively ignore those that are ignorant and say such things, minimizing them further. I also break the 'double standard' cycle by not perpetuating it, ever! Another person's perception DOES NOT have to be your reality, unless you want it to be! (IT'S THEIR PROBLEM, NOT YOURS!)
If I am lucky enough to share myself with you and you with me, then I would have to be a total idiot to go out and label you a slut (many male $S$h0les do this) and quite frankly that is not what I see in the mirror, nor is that the kind of woman I prefer or have ever wanted. Those guys that say this about you must have a pretty low self-image of themselves. That for no other reason is just cause for you to IGNORE them and minimize them. (IT'S THEIR PROBLEM, NOT YOURS!)
By the way, let other women know that the guy is a jerk and will talk about the 'private' things you did (or did not do) behind their backs. Unless your female friends are idiots, that should put a huge dent into his sex life. (At least it should). This further minimizes them.
You can choose to be the victim, or you can choose not to be the victim. I would recommend, like Jemue, that all women take responsibility for their actions, hold their head high, and let the 'pathetic' double-standard-comments slide off you like Teflon. (IT'S THEIR PROBLEM, NOT YOURS!)
Don't tell someone that you can't trust anything, my personal philosophy has always been to keep such matters to myself and has served me very well over the years. Probably why I was included in so many excellent conversations with groups of women (12+ in some cases) over the years, because I kept my mouth shut and they learned that they could trust me. I NEVER violated that trust! (Not just a matter of honor as the conversations were that good. Most guys don't even know!) When guys asked what we talked about, and they did, I told them to go ask the ladies - that always ended it. If the ladies in question did not trust them enough to tell them, well that speaks for itself doesn't it. If someone violates your trust, female or male then cut him or her off, don't share anything with them any more. Don't give them the opportunity to hurt you anymore. This minimizes others opportunities to warm your reputation as well.
Sometimes women are their own worse enemies with this stuff. How many ladies get criticized by their female friends the most, thus Michael and Jordaw's comments. (Find people you can trust and foster their friendship! Don't violate their trust either!) Also gives credence to SteeleMagnolia's comments though I might be interpreting them differently. If you are a woman that enjoys sex, good for you, the fact that other women will use that as a weapon in pathetic attempts to control your behavior is nothing new. You are having a good, healthy time, they probably are not, they are probably jealous, thus their need to control you! The question is are you going to let them? Religion, family and government also do this in pathetic attempts at controlling you! Why let them? It's your choice, not theirs! (IT'S THEIR PROBLEM, NOT YOURS!)
Eventually you have to be happy with yourself, confident with yourself and hold your head high, do what you feel is right (caveat - as long as you do not harm another) and finally begin to enjoy the life you were meant to have! Be safe, be healthy, be sane most of the time, have fun and there is NO reason to be ashamed for that. Anyone who attempts to make you feel less then what you are, or less then what you can be, well they DO NOT HAVE YOUR INTEREST AT HEART! So why are you listening to them? Minimize them, find people who will encourage you, hold you up, build you up, help you to become more. Those will be your true friends, male and female.
Perhaps Jemue is right, you simply need to choose your friends more wisely. Remember what naturgirl7 said, the only people that have any power over you are the ones you choose to give any power to. Don't give them any and don't give them a rat's A$$ of a mind about their opinion either.
Nothing more erotic and sensuous then a strong confident woman that chooses to give herself utterly to you, sure she has choices, she always has options, but she CHOOSES YOU! Hmmm, and respect the gift that she gives you for failure to give her your respect and love in return is to loose that very precious gift that can never be taken, only given by her!
The people (male / female) that don't understand this, well they don't deserve the gift in the first place! (IT'S THEIR PROBLEM, NOT YOURS!) | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/13/2007 6:30:30 PM | Believe it or not, some men still have a few ounces of integrity left. Some guys are like that, but not all. If you lump all of us into the same category you might end up missing out on somebody special who comes along. I tell my female friends this, make guys earn a priviledged position in your life, don't give it to them.
However, yes there are a lot of guys who take great pride in how many women they can be with. I don't know what percentage these guys make up because that varies depending on your social circle. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/13/2007 11:32:50 PM | I would have to say this.
Do you notice the same people that are Labelling the women are doing all of the patting on the backs of men?
Women get labeled by nice guys too because they are acting like one might consider Hookers to act, just for free.
Women label those women for lacking in Morals.
The men getting pat on backs are only getting them from men and women who approve in men having sex with several women.
They do not get pats on backs by men with Morals.
They do not get pats by women with Morals.
Also notice who Labels the women that turn down sex... "Those are men who got rejected by women with Morals."
I remember High School... Wonderful girl that I knew was labelled a "Nun." "The guys" that I was around was making it sound like a disease. Of course they didn't know I knew the girl and also had a crush on her at one time in my life. But I spoke up and said out loud, "Only reason she is a Nun is because she is to hot and to wonderful to let your sorry self touch her. And any girl that doesn't want you having sex with her must be the most wonderful type of woman for the rest of us guys to date."
I walked off and amusingly that rumor vanished. I heard 3 guys was trying to date her right after that.
Why let the labels even bother you? Either you caused the label by speading your legs too quickly. Or the Morons creating the labels are too far below your status to even bother paying attention to.
Frankly I wouldn't care what a Loser call me. In fact I figure what ever they call me will only prove they envy what I am. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/14/2007 2:32:10 AM | Maybe they read your profile!
Your ideal man must hold "a professional position".
I can completely understand you want someone who's actively employed, but you really do come off in your profile as being very superior! | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/14/2007 6:42:23 PM | Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled? Just like its ok for a man to go to the bar and get drunk and just be himself but if i women was to do it omg she is trash.............slut,horror,poor mother,
sad how ppl think | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/15/2007 11:25:44 PM |
Ah once again, all men are the same ! yay .....
She didn't say that. Why would you read it that way? What she said is that there are men that "still see that acting like dogs is something to be proud of". That doesn't mean all men act that way.
Do you think she is wrong? | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/29/2007 8:19:54 PM |
Why do men accuse women of 'putting it on a plate' when its them that have put it on a plate and told lies and cheated to get what they want!! This really frustrates me. If you guys are going to post really sexist, unintelligent responses then don't bother! I've had enough of them to last me a life time!
right there (the 3rd word from the left in the first line) is where you state "men" and not some. Not all of us are pigs out just to get a little action. just as not all women are riding every cowboy in town. dont we learn best from our own mistakes and not those of others? im currently labeled as a cheater,might go back to the ex,has issues,not ready,emotionally unprepared,etc cause im separated. so it sucks dont it
well hope this meet your criteria of not being sexist and/or unintelligent | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/29/2007 8:32:52 PM |
Men having lots of sex with many partners: What a stud! Way to go, bro!
Women having lots of sex with many partners: What a slut!!!!!
From a mans point of view; they're both sluts. I wouldn't let either of them in my hot-tub, I'd be afraid of contracting legionnaires disease. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/29/2007 8:51:17 PM | This topic has been done to death and the question of gender bashing within it has also been done to death.
These attitudes are held by society as a whole even if those responding to the thread are evolved enough to argue, logically and correctly, that it is stupid. People continue to teach their children that there are different standards for men and women with regard to morals and virtue so male prowess is cheered and female sexuality demeaned.
You cannot pay attention to what other people think. You need to make choices based on your values and ensuring that you are not engaging in behavior that makes you feel poorly about yourself, regardless of what others might say. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/29/2007 10:27:45 PM | I understand what the OP is saying. I can't answer the why, but I can back her up on it. Guy sleeps with a bunch of different women, other guys clap for him, women will call him a man-whore. Women sleep with a lot of men, EVERYONE says she's a slut. It's not fair, it's not right, it's just the way it is. Kinda like women having all the cool sex toys and men get nothing, ITS NOT FAIR hahaha. And yes, there are lots of guys who act like dogs and in their group, the one who does it the best is the leader. I've seen this up to and including guys in their 30s. 'whos going to take home the hottest chick tonight' happens in every town, in every country, every night. No use denying it. No use crying over it. The smart women know not all guys are like that. No different than women who see who can get the most drinks bought for them.
And I sure don't understand why everyone flips out when a woman asks a 'why do men' question. Aren't we all intelligent enough to know these types of posts are posted at an emotional time? When the OP is feeling frustrated? I guess I'm the only person on POF who knows that if the OP posted this on a better day, she would have said 'why do some men'. It may not be a good excuse, but no one is perfect and everyone is allowed a little leeway. Besides, it's not like one woman's post is going to convince all the other women that men are evil. Women are smart enough to judge a man based on that one man. A male bashing post on some internet site isn't going to change that. Even a thousand posts. Give women a little more credit.
And what difference does it really make? So someone was in a bad mood, and worded her question in a way that generalizes against males. SO WHAT?? The world will continue to revolve. If she had put 'some men' in her post, all you crybabies would STILL complain.
I've seen posts where the person tried as hard as they could to not generalize. Used the word 'some' and 'people' instead of a gender. But if its obvious the post is about 1 man, you come out of the woodwork to remind her 'women do it too' with no other words of advice. As if that one line solves everything. It goes the other way too 'dont feel bad, men do it too'.
If a little male-bashing ruins your day, just click out of it. For every 'guys suck' post there are 200 other posts with women saying nice things about men. It's not a perfect world, and everyone is allowed their own opinion.
I don't know why I bother pointing this out. An hour from now some woman or man is going to make a post asking 'why are men pigs' or 'why are women ****es' and you are all going to flock over their and bleat your displeasure. You should all have your BP checked, you are near stroke levels.
To the OP. Ignore these people. I guess I'm the only one, or one of a few, who saw that you were simply asking about something that happened to you, and you weren't painting the whole world with one brush. Chin up honey. If you had a one night stand or something, its nobody's business. Let their opinion of you slide right off. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/30/2007 1:12:03 AM | Because we live in a world that has a something called "A DOUBLE STANDARD". also what type of friends do you have that will set u up like that. i once has a female friend that was set up and she paid a terrible price. her mind was never the same after that. u should be more careful who you call friend. both men and women are capable of great good or great evil. as bruce lee once said, "TO BE HONEST WITH ONESELF, NOT LYING TO ONESELF, THAT MY FRIEND IS HARD TO DO". if a person truly cares about you he or she will not put you in a situation that will cause you harm.
sign,
learn the game, respect the artform  | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/30/2007 1:33:31 AM | | So true, men that are claiming sincerity and then "sharing all" with their friends for a "congratulations" is sad.....thinking that in the end these men who are statistics that state "there are more depressed men who have left wife and families, for other relationships, than happily married men" gives an honest woman the chance to say touche'! And those men that think they are all that and are going to be given any second chances have another thing coming...get used to the lonely life of looking for a perfect mate on the internet guys lol! | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/30/2007 3:32:43 AM | Take a dog off the lead and he will wander and get a big name for sleeping around, its a male ego thing, they have to be seen or heard about sleeping around, their egos can be quite lame (no not all men so calm down).
Hmm now women who sleep around and do exactly the same as a man does, well lets see theres this chauvenistic thing that has been going on for centuries. Well some men dont like the idea of women sleeping around, why !! because the woman can score more notches on her bedpost than a guy can usualy do in a lifetime.
I dont sleep around, but I dont condone anyone who chooses to do so, so long as theyre not in any kind of relationship. Go ahead women have your fun & who is to sday you cant do it anyway. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/30/2007 7:37:08 AM |
The reason i write this message is because it astounds me why, in 2007 men still see that acting like dogs is something to be proud of and something to be discussed as a status thing. A recent experience has led me into a rather disadvantaged situation and in all honesty i quite unwittingly entered into it only to find out later that it was a stunt that was played by the guys! I got labelled and he got a pat on the back!! Why do men accuse women of 'putting it on a plate' when its them that have put it on a plate and told lies and cheated to get what they want!! This really frustrates me. If you guys are going to post really sexist, unintelligent responses then don't bother! I've had enough of them to last me a life time!
It is just the way it is.
One might as well ask why electromagnetism is stronger than gravity.
Michael | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 5/30/2007 7:41:16 AM |
You cannot pay attention to what other people think. You need to make choices based on your values and ensuring that you are not engaging in behavior that makes you feel poorly about yourself, regardless of what others might say.
That is absolutely wrong. What other people think is of great importance to how she must live her life. People who do not pay attention to what other people think become objects of ridicule, mock, and scorn.
Michael | |
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