| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/9/2008 10:36:22 PM | | Geez, another wasted thread...Men get a pat on the back and woman get labeled...Really, "Ive been around a bunch of woman talking about their exploits, "They high five each other and talk jus a sexual as we men"...Give me a break...Guys are labeled players (whores) and woman are labeled the same...Maybe Im off base...But I know plenty of females and they talk jus like us guys and do the same..Woman are a little more quite about it, thats it! | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/9/2008 11:00:57 PM | OP:
I'm going to give it to you straight. Your original post and all of your subsequent posts make no sense at all. They are vague (maybe deliberately so). All you've told us is that you had this "experience" where guys act like "dogs" ; and "pat each other on the back" and women get "labelled". That kind of vagueness is a blank canvas on which every poster can project his or her own meaning of what you said.
You should have described the specific experience in the third person if it's too embarrassing to connect yourself with it. Then, we'd have something sensical to respond to. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/9/2008 11:26:56 PM | | well all i can say there are females like that to i was with one girl who made me belive she was having my baby i did everything for her but it was all bull but i dont think all females are the same there are good ones and bad just like blokes so all i can say is dont give up youll find some one good so take care and smile | |
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kin23
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Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 79 | |
| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/10/2008 12:00:59 AM | I agree w/points made except..."it disarms the girls that try to use it as a weapon, not wanting other girls to be relaxed about it"...there is a ring of truth to everything on occasion, but the OP has a bit of credibility...society still has double standards for men and women...especially about sex. Here in the south, there is an unspoken ettiquette rule...for everything....unfortunately the Bubbas still rule. Having said that, I agree, the majority of men see women equally...w/the same rules. Men are changing(I'm speaking of the masses)....perhaps slower than we would like, but that is the nature of change.
I believe that it can happen both sides if the fence.
Love is a game and women coming to be condition to certain rolls in the past are trying hard to come into their own for certuries,and still fighting .
Yes we have made some strides but on the other hand there are some women who are confused. Only to keep stridling this condition placed on women as nuturers and caregivers.
We can and will become better i guess with age as well.
I believe that this is played by both sides of the fence to no avail.
Not to say it is acceptable,only to fight stigmitizing generalities and not looking at one's own behaviour. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/10/2008 1:18:39 AM | loveableangel01, this sure sounds like another self pity thread to me.
The reason i write this message is because it astounds me
It astounds you? as in shocked? because he only wanted sex from you ?
men still see that acting like dogs is something to be proud of and something to be discussed as a status thing
Men still see? Are we supposed to be blind? Also men is plural, so you calling us dogs is a form of bashing even if you can't admit it to yourself or us readers.
A recent experience has led me into a rather disadvantaged situation and in all honesty i quite unwittingly entered into it only to find out later that it was a stunt that was played by the guys
recent experience = "You Got Played"
I got labelled and he got a pat on the back
Of course, HE WON the game, did the guys buy him a beer too?
Why do men accuse women of 'putting it on a plate' when its them that have put it on a plate and told lies and cheated to get what they want
Here you are generalizing/Categorizing by your choice of words.
Particularly====> MEN & THEY implying ALL OF US MEN
If you guys are going to post really sexist, unintelligent responses then don't bother
Interpretation = Wants us men to say what she wants to hear, instead of the truth.
This is not my wording. I was telling of what a guy had said to me.
Now shes back paddling (shifting blame to the guy) it's his fault she wrote his words.
Oh and she does not hypocrites either........ lol
The difference is the name calling and grief i got for it was very different
Interpretation = Looking for sympathy, this thread should be in the broken hearts
forum..... 
Oh and stop getting played, and when you do, your not suppose to tell anybody.
BadBoy~ | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/10/2008 1:45:45 AM | loveableangel01:
While I'm sad for the obvious betrayed feelings you have, I'm not in complete agreement with you. And the following is my explanation.
It's been my experience that many women talk more about the guys they sack with than guys do. Only some high school teenage boys talk to their male friends about the women they've bedded. But adult men, on the whole, do not confide to others about such matters.
I've had many girl friends during my life as well as two marriages and many female relatives. From what women close to me say, women tend to be very graphic about their affairs. Most tell everything in detail and name names. Yes, as I mentioned, some high school boys do as well, but the majority of men do not. I never have and neither have my closest male friends, of which I have many.
So, in answer to your question: No, men don't get patted on the back, nor do they any longer label women for "putting it out." Did they in the past, say in the '40's and '50's? Yes, they did. But since the '60's sexual revolution, only ignorant, very old, people label sexually active women.
I hope this explanation makes you feel less guilty and less frustrated. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/10/2008 1:48:18 AM | It's a shame that an older man like your father or uncle haven't had this chat with you, I am apologise if you don't have either, Mine didn't bother, but I was lucky tohave close male friends explain this all to me and as a result was able avoid beign a conquest.
It's a sign of inmaturity on the guys part, but men can be this way when they are younger, and it's all about the impressing the boys, they screw themselves up more.
You just have to be very hard to get and put it to the test and explain why,tell the guys your dating in future about what happened and that you will be not as a conquest or for entertainment and that is that, and you will be respected accordingly.......
The older guys complain about we women not being trusting, but they forget what they were like when they were younger, they made us this way.........
Good luck, don;t worry about it, don;t get caught again, it's better to go without than to be left feeling the way you do ...
They quite often end up playing games with girls they have developed feelings for and guys dont ussually know that untill its too late and they do suffer in the end, and have to live witht the confusion of being a guy
Live and learn and enjoy regardless | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/10/2008 1:57:12 AM | All men aren't the same, I think we all know what this is about, so lets not deny that is a normal activity amongst cetrtain groups of males when growing up......
It wouldn't hurt for you to give this young lady some real advice about it, those who have done it and grown up and those who know boys who have done it when they were younger.
Forwarned, forarmed | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/10/2008 3:30:54 AM | If we just take the heart and soul out of the matter, and look at the primitive side of being Human objectively (the bodily function).When we are hungry, we eat, if we were never taught to dine with romance, weather if there are candles, tables or the cloth. Even f we have...do we really care to if we may die of hunger .
On the reproduction level, Man strives to spread his breed as much and fast as possible, even he may not personally want any children. For a women, take the amount of time we have to go through pregnancy and rare a child, the limit of baring as many offspring as possible is just plain crazy and suicidal. Therefore our inner cave women is looking for the strongest, smartest, fastest and handsomest man that can fertilize egg ( don't we all have moments of fancy someone for their looks and body of a man even we know there is little inner quality... (not only man do such things).
Obviously we have evolved a great deal over the history.... yet we will always have this inner barbarian that lives for survival. I perceive man and women share equal power to both disgrace our own gender or sabotage the trust of each gender . It takes the civil generations ( hopefully us) to think with body, mind, heart and soul to respect and and dignified each and our own gender.
Some of us have evolved and some remain in the stone ages, and most of us are pondering in the confusions of both.
Now the qualities we are looking for in a man or women defines the success of our children, therefore the standard of our selection is becoming more sophisticated. The Man eaters or womanisers became least favoured choice in our mating game and reproduction; not only the length and depth of the relationship will not sustain (practically speaking), the standard of emotional life with them will most likely to be deprived on many levels.
So instead of looking for what may strike our primitive fancy... we are now seeking further evidence of inner beauty, maturity, likableness, self preservation, patience, sense of humor, capacity in predicting consequences of actions and making a beneficial choices, intelligence, integrity, self respect, dutifulness, spirituality...etc. Because these are the qualities and genes that will ensure the survival of our next generations.
So, don't worry too much Ladies and Gents, let dags be dogs ... as long as your heart is in safe place. Our future id depending on the choices we make, sooner or later we all will have to detach and observer the inner barbarian, further evolve on all levels. Let the bad experiences be a guide, not humiliation. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/10/2008 8:44:07 AM | How about not caring about what others think/say about you? No one defines who you are but yourself. Personally, I don't talk about such things with anyone and if those are the kind of guys you are into, then they don't care about who they are doing, they care about the doing itself. If you are really worried about it, then don't sleep with someone until you're married. Guess what? I'm pretty sure they won't go through with a marriage just to get in your pants (well ok, a drunken walk down the aisle in Vegas aside). If you don't want sex outside of a relationship, than don't have it until you have a relationship that can't be left without a messy divorce? I dunno. The guys that are doing this are jerks and it's who you are attracted to. Try reinventing your mind and see if you can't see things from a different perspective. Girls get treated badly because they allow it and because they go after guys that do it.
Honestly, I don't give a rat's a s s what anyone thinks or says about me. I'm my own person and what others think and say do not define me as a person. Try it out sometime. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/10/2008 11:52:12 AM |
in 2007 men still see that acting like dogs is something to be proud of and something to be discussed as a status thing.
OP : here's an intelligent answer for you.. or at least an interestingly different one.
Myself NOT being a 'dog' or a playa... or a cheater.... i still get labelled as a 'dog' by appearance (being a male)... so instead of wasting my time trying to convince women that i'm NOT one... (since they're going to believe what they want anyway)... i embrace the 'male pig' label and i have fun with it. Men are going to be labelled as pigs no matter what... it's either you shivel up under the heat, or you break out the suntan lotion, the shades and the marshmallows.
Life is too short to get pissed off... especially towards people who pre-judge & know nothing about you or your intentions.
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/10/2008 9:10:22 PM | My question Ms. University student....why in your intelligence do you even admit that you ponder this dilemna...men are from mars and women are from venus....
...dont know about you but for one thing you do get what you put out in this journey called life....how many guys have you sharked ..?...be honest... ....
....I find that when women are not getting what they want or think they want when and how they want it...men are pigs....get real~!
....then on top of that pull up MissBringingSexyBack or whatever -- I did not know sexy had gone anywhere... ---I like my beloved to be seasoned and know that when he gets me...he will take the lead....cause that is how man and woman were originally created...men are from mars and woman from venus.....
....hhmmmmhow sexy is that...VERY! laurie | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/15/2008 7:01:18 AM | | you know what I think its you who gets labeled, don't accuse us all of this, just because you have had a bad experience. look into yourself, and you will see its is you, I think its you who label women that way. I know for a fact I have never patted any man or woman on the back. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:19:55 AM | | Personally, don't think acting like a dog is anything to be proud of. I'm old enough to have grown out of adolescence and don't keep score. It's quality, not quantity. Being a dog is fine if it's your thing but personally it ain't my thing. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/15/2008 9:24:25 AM | LOL @ anyone taking the OP or this thread seriously. The OP hasn't even posted since the first page. The OP's "experience" was deliberately left vague, and posters on the thread are responding like they know what she's talking about. There's the obvious assumption that the OP's "experience" was some kind of one-night-stand, which the guy then bragged about to his buddies. The only problem with that assumption is: if the OP hadn't known this "player" and who his buddies were beforehand, how would she even get wind of the bragging and back-slapping? Obviously, the OP is leaving many details out.
Garbage thread. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/15/2008 2:54:45 PM | | who said men who act like this are men? i think what you are dealing with are nothing more then boys . men will respect a woman or anyone for that matter the players who you are talking about are to insecure and have to show there mannerles buddys look at me i have not grown up yet . do yourself a favor dont play with little boys | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/16/2008 5:06:43 PM |
I know ladies that have sex with 8 different partners at once on a monthly basis.
Eight at once??? Now *that's* a slut! 
I really don't get what the debate here is. Around where I live, men date sluts but will never want to marry one (lest he wants to be the laughing stock of his mates - or have them all give each other high-fives the moment she leaves the room). No man ever respects a skank regardless of what women may or may not think. If women felt the same way about men that sleep around, there would never be a double-standard to begin with. The truth is that most women will fawn all over a man with a reputation for sleeping around almost like it's a competition among them to be the one to win his heart. | |
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| Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/17/2008 12:48:50 PM | | I just wanted to reply to you, and let all you readers know, that I never cheated on my husband, I have been faithful for 20years. As much as his cheating, his abuse physical and mental and finding out five years ago he is gay has take a toll on me, I have never cheated on him. And when and if I do leave him, I know in my heart that I tried to make my marriage work. As much as it hurts, as much as I feel like a failure, and as much as I didn't have this planned for my life, I know that I did what I did and I did the right thing with no regrets, because all we do is tear each other apart emotionally. And I do go seek help and chat with someone about my problems, but they don't go away over night, not 20years worth. And not when you will always still love your husband, he will always have a part of my heart, as funny as that sounds, we shared 20 years togethers... It just hurts. | |
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