| | Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??Page 2 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) |
Uhhhh. Child support ain't cheap these days.
Women who resort to this kind of crappy behavior display it WAY before children or marriage come along . . . Men who put up with it, for the lack of a better term, are "whipped." | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/7/2007 8:43:06 PM | ^^^ 'whipped' or not, IMO, if either sex is putting up with that kind of behaviour from their S/O's, then obviously they are enjoying those petty displays of jealousy and feeding off it to a certain extent, which just smacks of insecurity, to me.
OP, I've been on the receiving end of married ladies (strangers I mean) having that attitude towards me back when I was single too, and I've never understood it. What boggles me even more though, is some of the married ladies that I've been friends with and known for almost 10 years, NEVER used to treat me that way as a 'single', or while I was married to my first husband. BUT after my divorce, then some of them changed and all of a sudden they adopted that attitude. I was boggled, I'd known them for years and years, so why would they suddenly think I'd make a play for their husband, after all that time we'd all been friends??? Now that I'm remarried, once again they feel I must be 'safe'.
Meh. I still say it smacks of major insecurity, but if you can answer that then you're one up on me. | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/7/2007 9:38:02 PM | This sort of thing happens to me all the time and sometimes it's frustrating and it ticks me off and other times I try and look at it with the perspective of a positive outlook; in other words if the wife is that worried and freaking out then she can sense what I already know; I ooze confidence in myself and men tend to find that sexy.
I just came back from a beautiful, albeit what seemed like an all exclusive married resort in Mexico (with the minor exception of all us single women and much younger 'men.') In our group there was a married couple and I don't know why this woman felt it so compelling to worry to the degree she did over her husband whenever I was present but it got to the point where she was scanning the bars for single men she could possibly hook me up with and she'd come running over each day/night or calling our hotel room to tell me of her latest 'find.'
It became quite exasperating and finally I said to her loud and clear; I'm here to enjoy myself, kick back, relax and I'm sooo not interested in the types of men you think are a treasure waiting to be discovered or in your husband for the umpteenth time! But what I really wanted to say to her is this:
I truly believe that not only do we single gals spell Freedom or the memory of it in clouded terms but that there are way too many women (and men) who get married and let themselves completely go.
Men afterall are visual thus if I were to wear something unflattering to my body shape, tie my hair up in a pony tail because I haven't had or made the time to wash it in the past three days, chew my nails to the quick, wear chunky glasses, (if I wore glasses) wear the granny undies frayed cotton white and generally just allowed everything to fall south, then perhaps I too would have a need to worry that my husband's eyes lit up like firecrackers everytime a goodlooking gal waltzed into the room.
I'm not saying either that ALL married women (men) forget to take pride in their appearance once they've caught their fish, sometimes women (men) have a right to feel as they do because their spouse may have cheated on them or they suspect it and the behaviour hasn't altered itself so there's little or no trust... and without this main ingrediant we all know life for anyone can be damn difficult.
Some married folks seem to forget how to inject the spice back into their lives after so many years together and often those women who place 'rules' on their men and have 'hissy fits' or generally worry constantly over us 'single gals' may eventually experience what they fear most and that's their man leaving them for a saucy night (or many more) of fantasy born alive of that which their spouse has long since forgotten could exist if they just took a bit more time (or a whole lot!) and empowered themselves more in the visual department and less creation of all those 'what if's' that can take a greal deal of zest out of life and out of the bedroom.
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/8/2007 10:17:22 AM | Vegan Girl-- I hear ya on that one! lol But I think part of it is too stems from the fact that they can later go and tell their girlfriend or wife..whatever the case may be...that "I told her about you" lmao....it makes me laugh too..it's like...what planet did you come from buddy? you think because I'm single I'm that desperate! ....ahh..man it feels good to let this out hahaha
It does smack of insecurity Sweetness...I'm sure glad I'm happy with who I am lol If I were you, I wouldn't give those women the time of day after they treated you like that...those are not real friends if they think you want to scam their husbands off of them. How insulting! Man it feels good to vent lol
And yes Aquestica...imagine if they feel that bad about themselves and are constantly comparing themselves to other women...if if their significant other told them how wonderful they were, how much they loved their bodies etc. in the bedroom..they prob don't trust that either.
Suddenly, I feel better now and can have pity on these poor souls! lol Thanks
Hey Chimpmunk - that is something to know..the man's honor thing...what happens if the girl likes one of the friends instead of the one who has "dibbs" ? lol Do they all back off? just curious | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/8/2007 10:30:08 AM |
Hey Chimpmunk - that is something to know..the man's honor thing...what happens if the girl likes one of the friends instead of the one who has "dibbs" ? lol Do they all back off? just curious.
Well this is a good question and I can only answer from my own personal experience. Yes they do back off! It's a matter of not letting a female come in between a friendship. In college, I did have a situation where we met this girl simultaneously at a party. My friend Jeremy liked her and I respected this. He ended up dating her for 1 year. After they broke up, she told me that I was really the one she was interested in from the beginning, but at that time we had become great friends so a relationship was out of the question. Besides, she was Jeremy's ex girlfriend and consequently a dating taboo. | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/8/2007 4:50:53 PM | Oh Yeah...I wouldn't date a friend's x even after they broke up either, that just makes it weird for everyone...plus like you say..it's just taboo. I wouldn't date an x's friend either...again, taboo and werid for everyone.
I guess I just need to get some new freinds lol... The one's I have dont' seem to have their head on straight lol | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/8/2007 5:43:54 PM | Ahhh OP, welcome to my world. It's a mystery to me. Oddly, I have yet to meet a man that was worth "taking from" another woman. Why on earth would I want someone like that in my life? That's just silly. If he'll leave her for me, he'll leave me for someone else.
I have learned to just ignore the idiocy of such juvenile, jealous sneers, jeers, comments, stares, snarls, growls, fangs, etc. That is their problem, not mine.
In short: self-esteem (or lack thereof) is the usual cause of such behaviors (at least from what I can determine.) I can't fix someone's self-esteem by ignoring their man.
I will admit, however, when I've been spoken to by someone who is with someone else, I make it a point to introduce myself to his female date/partner/etc. If that isn't good enough ~ oh well. JMO  | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/8/2007 6:41:45 PM | Hah! Well chances are, you're better looking than they are, so right away they're going to be defensive. They may not be worried that you'll take their man, but they certainly don't want their man being around another (perhaps more) attractive woman lest they suddenly become less desirable to their S.O.
I haven't met a woman that doesn't get jealous of other women for some reason or other (and sometimes the reasons are absurd). If you were unattractive, dressed frumpy, and had bland fashion, then you'd be just fine amongst couples. Sorry! | |
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shoree
| | Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 36 | |
| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/9/2007 5:54:52 AM | I like that...'an already harvested bunch'!!! That's hilarious!
I don't know why some women think that way. I know a friend's wife started acting really wierd around me once I was single again. She started hanging on her husband in a very clingy manner and she never used to be like that. She also never left me alone in the room with him. I'd known him close to 20 years and believe me, I had no designs on the guy!
I found it very insulting. Maybe i mis-read the situation, but I was getting some pretty strong vibes. | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/9/2007 2:25:40 PM | | Absolutely I have!!! I have been misjudged by other women my whole adult life it seems........I can understand having a good man and not wanting to lose him.....but I think if these women would just step back a bit, they will realize that they will lose their man due to their crazy, jealous behavior and not because their man wants anyone else!! Low self esteem is a factor also and that is nothing any of us can help......it is their problem if they think so lowly of themselves that their man would just hike off with some strange woman!!! Trust me ....it is not you, it is them.......if a woman truly trusts her man then she will know that he will not stray no matter what!! I think either the man has done something in the past to cause this distrust or she herself has cheated or been close to cheating ........guilty consciences show in acts of jealousy and defensiveness in relationships regarding your mate....I have so much to say about this that it drives me crazy......Everyone just needs to take a chill pill, grow up and trust their man!!! | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/9/2007 9:29:40 PM | Very true...if you can't trust your man, then why do you want to keep him? I can hear that song "Can't find a Better Man" lol Worse yet....if you can't trust your friends you must be a lonely person. Myself, I couldn't live like that.
Let it all out here Tulipoo....I'm listening and felt quite good venting about it all lol | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/10/2007 10:18:05 AM | OMG no kidding this happens to me too. Until recently i was single for 4 years. Confident, good-looking women are a massive THREAT to another woman. It's instinct, a natural reaction and not always necessarily insecurity. But hello! we aren't after your man and even if we were, do you honestly think we would try to make something happen with a guy who is so easily taken away from someone. Hmmmm. Not a chance.
Regardless, never let it change you. Keep the confidence. | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/10/2007 10:51:25 AM | | Some women are insecure in their marriage and dont trust their husband/boyfriend,and men are visual so if her hubby as much as glance's your way she'll automatically just assume......I dont worry about it too much....Im not the type to even begin to fall for a taken man ,their insecurity's are their problem not mine. | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/10/2007 11:52:37 AM | | I have been single for along time myself and experienced exactly that. I have not been invited to parties/gatherings because of that I was told. The hostess who I thought was my friend didn't want to invite me because I was single and she thought it would cause friction......ouch..that hurt, especially because knowing me she knew I'm not that kind of person. Needless to say she is not to close anymore. But hang in there. It's not your fault other ladies are that insecure. Cheers | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/13/2007 7:05:48 AM | This does go the same for us single men as well....when in groups or even just when being solo in a location (club/bar,stores) that some men just fear other men. In past years I would notice this personally or be told by others (friends) that I would be receiving an "evil" eye from some guy ...yet no words were spoken to his lady. Is this due to that person being that UNsecured in ones self??? Not all of the single people out here (both male & female) are "vultures"...waiting to snatch others from them.... | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/13/2007 7:11:31 AM | As well if one WAS to speak to one that was "attached" by saying HI/HELLO, or just meaningless conversation or even if was given a compliment to other...just cause one receives a compliment this does not mean the other that gave the compliment is looking to get in to others pants...insecurity is a QUICK killer. Small amounts of jealous is natural...it is the ones that blow this out of proportions that FLIP out.... can we say GOOD CANIDATE FOR BEING/GOING POSTAL..OR just BI POLAR...LMAO  | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/13/2007 1:11:02 PM | I've often wondered if men contribute to this "game" to a get a reaction from their partner or to possibly boost their own ego.
I went to meet a group of friends at a local tavern and the only seat available was beside my friend's husband.
He kept ignoring his wife, while chatting to me and placing his hand on my arm or knee to gain my undivided attention.
I doubt that he would have displayed the same behaviour if I was accompanied by another male.
I felt uncomfortable and could see that his wife was becoming visibly upset.
Surely he knew this type of behaviour would bother her but he chose to do it anyway.
I changed seats as soon as one became available.
Yes---I too have been unreasonably accused of being a "man chaser".
Am I so powerful, and your relationship so insecure and fragile that I can swoop down and carry off your man in my clutches? I guess you know that your relationship is long dead if you envision vultures circling. | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/13/2007 1:42:27 PM | Yes i agree they do sometimes think you're after their man.!!
Think it has something to do with the woman's self esteem. They are not obviously confident that this wants them. It's not fair maybe they look upon some woman a better catch for their man?
Short order cook, this man was being very unreasonable and put you in an awful position. What a gerk! | |
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| Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/14/2007 11:26:56 AM | Hey Kilo...:) comforting to see guys experience some of this lol...have you seen a lot of men "go postal"? lol
short order cook - that's funny...if you can see the vultures circling!!! omg..I will have to use that line lmfao
I think it is a game to some guys to get their woman's attention, I believe I have experienced this from men as well...I guess men have their own game going on lol | |
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That's always the way it is too..people are afraid of something they would actually do themselves!