| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/8/2007 12:35:53 PM | | I think if your level of kink is over the top, you might want to introduce some of your ideas very early on. Being sexually compatible is just as important as being emotionally compatible in a long-standing relationship. For the mostpart, I doubt you'll find that people will 'advertise' their kink factors...it's something that you can talk about once you've established some sort of rapport... I wouldn't say my kink factor is anywhere near 'over the top'...yet I still wouldn't broadcast some of my ideas to the world at large.... | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/8/2007 12:49:18 PM | | Well what do you mean spunglass? I would love to hear ladies ideas that they dont want the world to know! Now thats hot! (and yes, I'm one of those guys who only replies to good looking womens posts, ladies, if theren's no pic, how would I know what you wrote is interesting and "a great point")? | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/8/2007 2:31:39 PM | [,,i would think you should try a different site..POF seems, how do you say..main stream!!]-dwight1055
I think being such a large site, there's room for a lot of diversity on Plenty of Fish. Although I suppose it
depends on your definition of Kinky, and extremely! And kinky doesn't neccessarily mean that you need
to be vulgar or tactless. Even a simple phrase, such as "adventurous & open-minded", will be a helpful
clue to most people. I have met some very liberal & open-minded people here.
I have a friend here, asked my advice as to how/when to ask a women if she shaves. He apparently is
turned off by any & all body hair, below the chin. Unfortunately, he was totally outside the realms of
my expereince, so I had no idea what to advise him. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/11/2007 1:07:25 AM |
Are you a latex fetishist? Are you a group BDSM play person? Are you a bi-sexual leather queen? Does dripping hot wax on breasts constitute foreplay for you? Do you like getting peed upon or the reverse, or even scat play? Do you wear diapers during sex? Do you have rough sex with anonymous strangers? Do you like piercing your nipples or others with needles as an act of erotic devotion? Do you have implanted fangs? Does your collection of eroticized military costumes cost more than the rest of your wardrobe? Do you have a webcam broadcasting all of your sexual play to the world? Do you like inserting baseball bats into yourself or others? Do you enjoy having your balls busted? Can you only have sex with amputees or dwarves?
Well, I've done and enjoyed one of those things! I should clarify that I might be the kinkiest person here when it comes to experiencing a woman's body in every way possible. I'm not that kinky when it comes to pain and props, but I enjoy getting as adventurous and as nasty as humanyly possible with a beautiful woman! 
Anal sex? Rimming? Sex toys? Toe sucking? Please.
When I've seen threads here about anal sex, rimming, and even toe sucking here they have seemed to be pretty controversial topics with many posters who are not open to those things. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/11/2007 7:47:11 AM | | I would not post it in my profile . However if I found a partner or was starting to date someone I would bring it up early on if it looked like things might go some where. Who knows you might meet your match. If not no harm done before someone gets hurt on either side. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/11/2007 8:31:53 AM | OP,
I was thinking as I read all the posts that there's something missing here-that link between meeting a woman and having her be the right one-what I mean is this:
lots of women will do things they never imagined they would if they feel 100% safe and loved and they feel that it's special and unique between the two of you. If you post your sexual preferences in your profile, then you are making them standard and not unique at all. A woman wants to feel that the sexual relationship she has with her lover is special to them, even though she knows you got the skills somewhere, that part isn't important as her feeling like you "need" HER that way because it's HER!-not because you just need it. When it's not balanced that way, sometimes a women feels like it's her responsibilty to perform a certain act/way instead of her privilege. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/11/2007 9:27:31 AM | | I'd not (kinky) necessarily be too specific (kinky) in your profile, but rather (kinky) let readers be (kinky) are that you are into (kinky) collecting certain (kinky) items ...and enjoy non-mainstream (kinky) activities that (kinky) involve the (kinky) use of these. You might (kinky) want to (kinky) mention something (kinky) in your (kinky) ideas for a (kinky) first date ...and (kinky) include some like (kinky) like "Inquiring (kinky) minds are (kinky) welcome to (kinky) email me (kinky) for more (kinky) info." | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/11/2007 2:44:35 PM | | It's usually better to let a woman know about your kinkiness once you've been talking to her for a while. If you bring it up too soon (or on your profile), then you risk looking like a guy who wants only sex. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/11/2007 2:59:31 PM | | Kinky or not you have to hold off your sexual desires until you meet someone compatable and willing to indulge your interests - just as anyone else would!!! No matter what you like to get into - it's simply not appropriate to push yourself onto others until you know it's the right time and person!! During the time you are getting to know someone, this aspect of your life might be part of the conversation - I am sure at that point you will then know to proceed or not!!! | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/11/2007 3:45:53 PM | alt.com (mostly crap)
collarme.com (Not bad)
somespamsite.com (mostly crap)
craigslist.org (the personals on this site are probally your best bet)
You might also want to hit up a swingers club on ladies night. Both on and off premise clubs usally have a night single males can attend. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/11/2007 7:57:33 PM | Please excuse my tact (silliness) w/my earlier post for this question, but I believe that you'd probably want to hint tactfully early on for your being "extreme" in your kinkiness ...and for what. Should a woman have the genuine curiosity as to what your 'kink' might be, she should also have the courage to contact you, and inquire for just what might make her feel as satisfied w/you for the 'hook-up' here.
No specifics in the profile, but plenty of inference to itis good for 'weeding out and speeding along' what you both may share for your unique ...and hopefully mutual interests. You just might traumatize 99% of the women here if you wait to mention your 'big button'. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/11/2007 10:27:59 PM | I think its the same as the real world in this area... you just have to hope and pray that she will be into what you are in to...
I also agree with dirtbag2... i don't think you are the kinkiest person on POF! | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/12/2007 12:24:18 AM | Someone said they are more like Tiger??? ::blinks:: hey I am not kinky.. I don't think I am anyway.
But then I haven't a clue whats considered what. I am a tiger in attitude though, so you can be like me, its okay. Joking.
BDSM is kinky?
::pales reading some more things Mike typed out:: People do those things? ::pushes lower jaw up::
and whats kinky about toe sucking? Know it causes black eyes.
I read this to see if I could learn what was meant by Kinky.. My poor eyes are shocked.
Oh the lady about the "Bondage" question. Either the word or BDSM I would think. Several are into that and its not.. well to me it isn't kinky.
The problem is like what BadGirl says.. you might get a lot of guys contacting you for sex instead of a relationship.
But a lot of the things I read Mike typing out.... Don't put those in your profile! Some of that stuff would be way too much info. But I would think sooner or later before you committed to a relationship you should let your partner know about your fetish.
Because I feel unfulfilled fantasies or fetishes could be disatisfying to you and cause you to do things to ruin your relationships.
If you communicate the things.. you will find some men/women would join you in the idea. Naturally it depends on how Kinky you mean.
You commented on exploring every inch of a woman any way possible. Not sure what you mean by that. Don't know where the kinkyness starts in that. I would not see that being something you ever have to tell a woman about. She would be pleasantly surprised I would think... Unless your used something off the wall, like maybe a rubber mouse. Teasing but serious.
That is something I would avoid to share as it might be taken as bragging. If you liked golden showers.. that would be different and I think you should share that issue before you ever came to the sexual portion of your relationship. Honesty is always the best. You might find she is into it too. But again, I would share that kind of stuff right away.
First try to explore a friendship. Worry about the kinky stuff after you know weather or not both of you are going to make it as a couple.
And gosh I wish I'd stop being so long winded. I am done rambling. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 5/12/2007 3:34:14 AM | Lots of POFers "ew!" and "yuk!" in internet forum space over sexual practices that, given the right set of circumstances, would drive them wild.
My humble opinion regarding your question: It's one thing to be open minded and have a high degree of curiosity regarding exploring the boundaries of human sexuality, but kinkiness is closely associated with fetishism- which, by its orientation and intentionally, subscribes to some degree of repetition and pre-arrangement for achieving a certain sought after level of sexual stimuli.
So, for example, if you just can't get an erection unless there's a whip in the room - you're a fetishist. No harm in putting that in your profile because it's a somewhat permanent facet of your personality.
But if you see sexuality as simply the most rich and varied physical expression in which consenting adults engage and reveal themselves, then vaguely alluding to this mindset in accordance with all your characters traits might be a good way of discretely making your point without tripping the "all he wants is sex" bugaboonoia.
good luck.
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 1/27/2008 2:20:57 AM | You think YOU have problems finding a date? rofl
I'm a sexual sadist into edge play. I like my men to have 20 lbs strapped to their beautifully shaved scrotums. Naked except for a gas mask and chained to a cross waiting to have their bodies and souls welted.
Watching my single-tail etch burning red trails across their back, buttocks and balls, oh yes...can't ignore the prick and balls, makes me high. The screams, sobs and tears are my reward for a job well done. Reducing another human to a trembling lump of misery gets me off.
Then it's time for a bit of cuddle before the cattle prod, nipple clamps or hot wax makes an appearance. Then a nice caning to round off the evening before a luxuriant ****. More play later perhaps.
You may want to try an ALTernate site and list youself as being into body worship. Just make sure to be a little specific and be honest about what you aren't interested in.
Best of luck and play safe. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 1/27/2008 3:16:17 AM | If you put that on your profile (that you're kinky), many women would assume you just wanted sex. I'd assume that, and I do assume it whenever I see male profiles with sex mentioned. Likely, some women wouldn't respond to your profile for that very reason.
I'm not sure how you could phrase it to weed out more conservative types. Perhaps make it more about finding creative women, or something like that. Certain personality types are more likely to appreciate some kink--you might have more luck looking for urban artists/poets than religious librarians, for example.
Younger women may be more open to sexual experimentation than older women, but even that's up for discussion. My mother is 53, and I recently found a stash of sex toys and porn in her car trunk. I, at 23, am nowhere in that league, still find that kissing and awkward groping is enough to get me going.
I think most women (maybe not the very religious or socially conservative) are open to kink as long as it comes slowly and is with someone they love and trust. I like to be tied up and held down, but if a guy tried that with me before I decided that I really really liked him and trusted him, I'd be turned off, scared, and appalled.
It's also something you work up to. Start out slowly and see how women react. If they react negatively, they may not be for you. If they react positively, escalate it (but slowly). | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 1/27/2008 4:21:07 AM | I agree with "Leeanne" Post 38
If you bring something up too quickly when just meeting someone or even before meeting them you may turn them off....
I'm pretty kicky myself and from my experience... just naturally starting to introduce things into your sex play is the way to go.... I've introdced woman to many things (and sometimes they have to me as well) that otherwise they may not ever have tried...
Now if your kink is more about "the kink" and the sex itself... and not being in a relationship, then maybe some of those fetish or kink sites already mentioned might be the go..
sometimes people just are not sexually compatable.... and I do believe people need to be freaky in the same way for a relationship to work.
But take the time to develop a relationship first... .in general, in a mutually caring relationship, the sky can be the limit in the bedroom...(in general)
DK | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 1/27/2008 8:24:00 AM | Someone's "kink" is someone else's "normal". Just cause the OP "thinks" he is "kinky" doesn't mean there are not 100 more behind them that are willing and able to take it at least one "step" further.
Maybe in your profile you should just state that you are "VERY open minded" in certain areas of your lifestyle. If and when the time comes, and the person you are seeing start to really get to know each other, the "subject" can come up. I've always found it doesn't take too long once you start to get to know a person if the two of you are on the same wave length, thou I have been told that I have "surprised" a few over my lifetime,lol. | |
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| How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Posted: 1/27/2008 12:48:28 PM |
How should extremely kinky people handle online dating?
Just like non-kinky people should. Be honest, forthright, and clear.
HRWild
If I say I like bondage, should I put the word "bondage" in my interests?
I say yes one should. If it is something that is part of your life, and something you are not willing to live without, it is best to put it out there. If your kink is a take it or leave it type of thing in your life, then, it can be left out and dealth with when you get to know the person better.
littleaudrey
If you put that on your profile (that you're kinky), many women would assume you just wanted sex
Possibly, but a well worded profile can alleviate that issue.
At first my BDSM interests were in the text of my profile. Now I have rewritten my profile and excluded BDSM from the text, but I added it to my interests and referred to my interests in the text. My interests also include love and kissing and growth and other normal relationship goals.
To the person who said that this is a main stream site...yes it is, but there are also many kinky (outwardly and closeted) people on this site. While posting on an only kinky dating ste is useful, fishing here only can expand the pond one is fishing in.
Plug in BDSM, Kink, Kinky, Handcuffs, Paddling, and other kinky terms into the interest search, and you will find many profiles that include them here. | |
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