| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/17/2009 12:58:33 PM | Was funny to begin with, but the fact that this has actually happened on more than one occasion is starting to get me down a bit, messages along the lines of:
"Are you a bloke?" "Are you a Ladyboy?" etc | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/17/2009 1:03:58 PM | I have had a few asking if i am a vampire or a child of satan, i think they are of the same person, if not i should be worried and change my look. | |
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sjxx
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Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 278 | |
| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/17/2009 1:20:05 PM | . Aella i would not worry. I get asked if i have bloody balloons down my dress. And i cant change my look. People are just damn rude sometimes  | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/17/2009 1:26:21 PM | I don't have any worth discussing!
Sjxx they probably ask you that so you flash them to prove that you haven't.
Where did that post above me disappear to? lol | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/17/2009 5:03:23 PM | eye up lass :-) sorry couldn't resist....
by the way some of you are very charming young ladies jagshamesh...(ok so thats so last year...) | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/19/2009 4:08:58 AM | I actually saved this somewhere before I deleted my profile on here some months ago:
"Greetings vampire erm - where might them eye,s u have be from not earth or your camera,s in scary land mode white wolf liakin family ?"
Priceless, absolutely priceless. I didn't reply, incidentally. | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/19/2009 4:38:55 AM | It just gets me when someone just sends 'xx' , I once just replied with 'xx' myself..and they just sent back 'xx' again!..is the art of conversation dead even if it is just typo type convo's?  | |
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tm1971
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Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 284 | |
| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/19/2009 4:41:39 AM | | I got two weird ones this week, one asking me what my cup size was and the other if i like crushing insects under my feet? | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/19/2009 8:54:04 AM | Am i The Odd One Out Here Cos' I Never Get Strange Messages Like That :/ ...
Sum American Bloke Once Send Me A Message Saying i Was Cute Tho. | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/23/2009 3:51:46 PM | just got this one today and had to share it
You know on your profile it says that you are celibate and looking for something deep and meaningful? Well a one night stand can be just as deep and meaningful as any other relationship. I have really felt very deeply for some of the ladies I have had this with so you should consider me.
I wrote back saying
That was the best pitch for a leg over I have ever heard you should be in advertising.
he wrote back saying
great so are we on then?
READ/DELETED | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:16:07 PM | With jokes that weak I would contact Paul Daniels, as you and him need all the help you can get
I really like a laugh, but why is it all the guys who forgot to collect a sense of humour when they registered with POf are the ones that contact me ?
On another site, I was getting a lot of unwanted interest from guys abroad, so I posted the following on my front page. 'If your command of English is Pidgin (sic) please don't contact me'. Guess what? Messages from non-british residents increased tenfold | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/24/2009 1:59:23 AM | Well, it wasn't on here, but I was waiting for the bus last night and this extremely drunken Polish guy staggers up to me. He looks me up and down, and went
'What's up, p*ssy?'
Subtle or what?
He then proceeded 'Can I touch?', and started touching my left hand. My reply is unprintable but I should have really slapped him across the face saying 'Touch this!'. | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/26/2009 4:00:24 AM | Read bottom to top...Cos I can't be assed editing it all...
From: pantsonfire (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:sex Sent Date: 6/26/2009 11 24 AM
Shame you can't read...
From: vill****77 (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:sex Sent Date: 6/26/2009 11 24 AM
shame you havent got a sense of humour
Reply
From: pantsonfire (View Profile)
Subject: RE:sex Sent Date: 6/26/2009 11 44 AM
Your bollox for earrings!!
From: villa****7 (View Profile)
Subject: sex Sent Date: 6/26/2009 11 41 AM
what you wearing love | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/26/2009 8:57:23 AM | | I had someone comment about my bum & what they'd like to do to it!! Now considering I don't have any pics of my rear on my profile, how would he know if was to his liking!! | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/26/2009 12:14:03 PM | well, I've not received any good ones but I spotted a dumb blonde who rode horses and basically seemed to want lots of sex. I'd just been reading some of the 'Samanth quotes from Radio 4's 'I'm Sorry, I Haven't A Clue'. I sent her this as my first contact.
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Hi,
You have 2 horses. I imagine you like to ride and quite often get mucky in the yard.
I have an ex who is something of a keen horse woman, she's off to see a trainer who's offered her the chance of a couple of races. She's quite excited, as he's prepared to drop his jockeys to enter her at Newmarket.
Obviously she wants to be in shape for the races and goes to the gym, and has a new fitness trainer. She's looking forward to him showing how he gets the fat down and pounds off in front of her.
The ex is gobby too, she went to speak at a Welsh jockey club dinner for the retirement of their oldest jockey, who's name is almost impossible to pronounce. She found the longest standing member a bit of a mouthful.
The dinner was out in the country, one of the old boys was a keen birdwatcher and has his own aviary where he kept wild breeds. she couldn't wait to see his Woodcock, Pullet and Swallow.
Obviously, she needs to work hard to afford this lifestyle. She works long shifts as a croupier in a Blackpool casino where gamblers pay top money to pay roulette all day and poker all night.
she has been having problems with her gas. Her plumber is sending round the man who does the annual safety test on her boiler, she says it's good to feel the plumber's tester calls at regular intervals.
She's prone to sunburn but tells me her local pharmacist keeps a wide range of tanning cream for her legs and he's always happy to spread them out for her on the counter. Obviously she goes for good protection.
She has a seaside apartment near the casino. I'm going over there there soon to inspect her flat out on the beach.
Anyway, enough about my ex now she's in Blackpool and I get to see less of her. I must admit, I've been a bit down in the dumps about it lately and not been feeling myself.
Maybe we could go on a date, you could make me laugh and get my pecker up again.
We could go to a friends flat eat some great food then liqour out on the balcony whle enjoying the views.
Then maybe we do something new, I've never played golf for example. You could be my caddy. if I gets stuck in an awkward lay you can pull out my wood and nibblet.
Interested?
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3 days on and it's still read but undeleted. I'm not sure the poor girl understands. | |
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Scints
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Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 293 | |
| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 6/28/2009 10:54:19 AM | I got this one tonight, but got it about a year ago too.
"Hello There,
I hope your weekend is going well and really hope you do not mind me asking you this...
Life being too short and all that, my intuition suggests you might be a bit of a secret submissive, perhaps someone that might privately enjoy something a little alternative...
Maybe a little like in the movie secretary, or a sub/dom, or even master/slave element... I just see a desire to submit in your eyes...
Of course outwardly you are probably nothing like this in your vanilla world.
All of this of would obviously be within a bubble of respect balanced by all the lovely normal things couples do.."
I replied with "Sorry, I can't be doing with sex any more. i'd rather have a good kip"
He then said he wasn't talking about sex.
?? | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 7/3/2009 3:09:17 AM | I got one this morning that just says...........
"Please email me at *******@yahoo.com to discuss"
Sounds like a frigging job interview! | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 7/3/2009 3:26:18 AM | I got this one this morning which I didn't bother to reply to
f u fancy sum fun contact me on msn *********@hotmail.com
or send me urs and i will add u
Come on have some fun with a soldier | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 7/4/2009 7:28:07 AM | Sorry about last message I was referring to an earlier post
Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 12:05:42 PM
I got one once just saying
"I want to tke your knickers off with my teeth, if you are interested get in touch, looking forward to your reply"
I of course replied stating "your a damn perv! you dirty old man!!!!" and I blocked him!!! | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 7/8/2009 11:07:33 AM | im still waiting for a first message let alone a funny one ha ha
but some of these on here a seriously weird | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 7/8/2009 12:30:36 PM | I just want someone to contact me :(
And all my funny messages here are from one of my best mates. | |
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