| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 1:52:07 PM | 'I want to rip your clothes off,tie you up,and smear you in Peanut butter.Then,Fook off down the Pub'.
I declined. But made it known that i admired his honesty.
vvvvvv I don't know. I wasn't thinking that far ahead when i made up this post vvvvvv | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 1:53:55 PM | | Message 26, do you think he wanted to leave you tied up covered with peanut butter while he went to the pub? | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/9/2007 3:10:46 PM | Wouldnt say this was the funniest but probably the weirdest so far .....
you got big legs,i love big thighs with a nice hot ****
are you mad, men like me lust for them,so wots the prob with paying me to get in between them
Was from a damn male escort  | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/12/2007 11:58:05 AM | I just got this delightful one...
"If you want to know more, ask !"...okay, will you sit on a bloke's face on a first date?? Hey, it's a straight question...
Enough said...looser! | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/12/2007 12:15:34 PM | brunettesaresohotrightnow on 5/9/2007 7 34 PM
Subject: Funniest First Contact Message.
Message: I had a message form a woman and her husband who wanted me to join them on their yacht in the South of France.... I kindly reclined...
I know this is probably a typo and you meant to type 'declined' but it is soooo funny how you wrote it. A real mallapropism. | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/12/2007 5:14:55 PM |
Someone sent me one the other day saying "I ONLY wanted to say Pob rocks" (exactly how it was written)...
Does that mean she fancied pob and not you?! I remember my son watching pob - hes the same age as you - didnt he make strange noises? | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/14/2007 4:10:11 AM | I got this a while ago on a different site:-
“I have read your profile and you sound wonderful, almost too good to be true, so don’t even think of contacting me you bast##d I have had belly full of blokes like you.”
I think I must of reminded her of someone, but I thought to be safe I would use a different profile on here | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/14/2007 4:22:03 AM | Here's one for ya! Still trying to decipher it!!
'hello sweety i cant imgain all of this gorgouse lady front of me and cant chat with or be her friend or more, i like chat with u honestly cuty i like ur perfect photo espcaily ur perfect brest ,same time i am looking for soul too not for body only,same time like perfect sexy body ,i am man hahahaha ,i like u answer me nicely sweety'
hmmm he's looking for soul mate, but has to mention the 'perfect brest' how the hell does he know they are - they could drop to my knees when i take me bra off lmao
he's man, so that makes it perfectly acceptable then!!! lol | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/14/2007 5:20:58 AM | | It really is no wonder that internet dating gets such a bad reputation is it!!! Im new to this site so as soon as the weird and wonderful mails start coming through im sure i'll be updating this thread | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/15/2007 3:38:44 AM | Lady Jaxx - 
He must be doing the rounds, because I was asked the same question on another site too! I blocked him because it just seemed creepy to me!! Had visions of Lawrence Olivier with Dustin Hoffman, dental drill in hand in the Marathon Man!! | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/15/2007 4:20:47 AM | "ive read ur profile, and you sound nuts...!!" I'm not nuts 
mind you, that was a LOT better than "HI can i see a pic of ure melons. rite bk soon" so I replied saying "sure you can" & attached a link to a google pic of a watermelon & then blocked him.........wierdo | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/15/2007 4:51:19 AM | I've just got this from a 36 year old man in Quebec:
BECAUSE U CHOSE TO BE...OR SHOULD I SAY...BECAUSE U STILL DIDN'T MEET UR LITTTLE WHICH REALLY WHATS TO BE A LITTLE THAT IS....IF U WOULD LIKE TO BE A NOTTY HEHEHEHE!!
Can anyone translate any of that?
(I responded with "I'm sorry, I don't understand your message" !) | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/15/2007 4:57:16 AM | Hello there u sexy hunk !
Has your big head got you many girls lately ? , coz i'm up for grags if you fancy it !
My Reply......
Jog on........ | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/15/2007 4:58:41 AM | ^^^^^^^^^ I would crease up laughing if I got a message like that
I would probably sit and chat to him all night, and laugh.
I laughed at a message saying...........Im putting the kettle on, would you like a coffee.
lol | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/15/2007 5:52:30 AM | I just got one today, all it said was SPANK ME MISTRESS...!!!!!!!
sad or what, oh well whatever does it for you I guess | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/15/2007 6:07:39 AM | "You wild thing... Would you like to borrow my comb?"
"I have an unwanted dog... would you like me to send you it? Flat packed?" | |
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-Hams-
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Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 45 | |
| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/15/2007 7:04:54 AM | I had one the other day asking me where had i been all her life?!
so i replied that i had just served a 20 year sentence for armed robbery..
she put me on her favs list after reading my reply which was quite worrying! | |
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clkm
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Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 46 | |
| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/15/2007 8:19:23 AM | I keep getting messages asking if I feel Horny! How sad are they as if you would feel like that when you are sat at a computer!! (well I dont)!! They are driving me mad, they clearly cant read as my profile says I don't want Mr Right now!!!
Do alot of you ladies keep getting these messages?  | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/15/2007 8:31:40 AM | Mine was from a lovely young lady from London (& absolutely 100% true).
She was into feet. She asked me to send her 10 pics of me in my underwear on my bed. The emphasis of the shots had to be my feet.
She'd get the pics, get herself off with various items whilst getting turned on by the pics. She's then send me the video with proof it was my feet that did the job !!! | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/15/2007 8:52:41 AM | i havent had any weird ones on here.
As i am quite new to this whole internet dating thing...
But on another site ive had 2 that spring to mind..
(this one was from some guy in london)
"lol dude.. You remind me of my mom an sister rolled into one"
(ive never worked out quite what that meant, and didnt want to ask..)
(This one was from a girl in Bristol.)
"So.. Tell me.. How fast does your hair grow??"
(Had a good old chat with her, she was a hairdresser, and told me all about Sebatious glands and a layer of skin stuff below the scalp clled "the horny layer" i checked up..
it does exist.. Quality!!!) | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/15/2007 9:06:14 AM | Got one message from a VERY young guy - I replied saying he was much too young..
Got another message say "you can come and meet me from school.... ohhhhh mummy.."
Bizarre...!
Ouma | |
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| Funniest First Contact Message.
Posted: 5/15/2007 9:16:32 AM | This isn't funny but cheekey a guy sent me a mail saying he would give me £500 to spend 1 night with him hmmm I replied "£500 what ya take me for" he then replied "ok babe £2000" I then replied "Listen hunny not even a million quid would make me spend a night with you, if ya want to meet someone what happend to the old fashioned asking someone out im not a whore never have and never will be so thanks for the insult any chance you had you just blown" he then replied Im really sorry x and I didn't think I would stand a chance with you anyway" so I replied "well now ya will never know "and then I blocked him.  | |
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