| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/1/2008 3:19:30 AM | for those who select partners by their physical attributes, no need to be too harsh on yourself. that is only normal. i bet 99% of people have their own preferences giving the choice.
I don't judge females at all by their weight, I just find some of the overweight females say they are going to change and never do which is lying. A turn off . They also can be negative about their self image and they sometimes often complain about how others treat them.
have you seen the movie 'shallow hal'?
do ugly fat people have better personalities than beautiful skinny ones?
psychologically speaking, may be the opposite. it is because of the way people treat them, for those who grow up being bullied and laughed at, they are likely to see the world a hostile place. therefore, they are not necessary that nice a person inside.
anyone who is abnormal physically, like too big too small too ugly, they tend to come with emotional complex. equally, people who are abnormally beautiful could be arrogant and also have emotional complex.
there are happy loud bubbly oversized ugly people, but sometimes the happy facade could be an over-compensation of the insecurity and depression inside.
so the best bet is just someone average and normal. they would be ideal partners. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:52:11 AM | Let's get real here...I'm sure your weight phobia is not really anything to do with health reasons...but even if it WAS, I guess you don't realize that there's many women out there who fit your size 2 blonde standards who have eating disorders which is probably even more unhealthy than someone who is a little overweight.
It sounds like you're looking for a barbie doll rather than a woman.
Good luck on your search for the perfect looking woman! | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/1/2008 11:54:53 AM | All of which would be relevant, if I were an actuary. I thought we were talking about attraction. Did the topic switch to a health risk assessment?
Sorry, but I believe the op brought up the health topic. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/1/2008 7:28:39 PM | Oh dear .... I spent much of my adult life being morbidly obese. While I am no supermodel now, I am much thinner and healthier. It always bothered me that so many men didn't see past my weight and looks. And now it bothers me that men look at me and sometimes like my looks. Can't please me!
But the truth of the matter is that we all have certain attributes we are attracted to. For every man who likes hip bones that stick out, there is another man who likes big butts. Personally, I don't like supremely thin men and couldn't care less about hair, but would really like someone with brown eyes.
Are those desires a deal breaker? Not really .. they just are. Hopefully, all of us can look beyond whether or not a person fits our "type" long enough to see if we like them for who they ARE, not what they look like. Know what I mean?
Janice | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/1/2008 9:00:40 PM | dont feel bad about it cause u cant help who u are attracted to.i couldnt date someone i wasnt attracted to.there has to be some attraction.
but unlike u im not just attracted to skinny girls.i find womens with a few extra pounds very attractive.
if you meet someone and your not attracted to them u simply let them know in a polite way that your not interested.no one should be mean to someone or even have to let them know thats the reason theyre not interested in them.i find its more polite to just tell the person that u dont find it clicks or something like that.
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ab_qt
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Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 331 | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/15/2008 2:20:56 AM |
have you seen the movie 'shallow hal'?
do ugly fat people have better personalities than beautiful skinny ones?
psychologically speaking, may be the opposite. it is because of the way people treat them, for those who grow up being bullied and laughed at, they are likely to see the world a hostile place. therefore, they are not necessary that nice a person inside.
anyone who is abnormal physically, like too big too small too ugly, they tend to come with emotional complex. equally, people who are abnormally beautiful could be arrogant and also have emotional complex.
there are happy loud bubbly oversized ugly people, but sometimes the happy facade could be an over-compensation of the insecurity and depression inside.
so the best bet is just someone average and normal. they would be ideal partners.
I have had that discussion with a friend already, I am a person who's sexually attracted to someone's mind, how they are feeling is what matters to me. I dont look at porn or anything. I have trained my brain well, I am quite different and ppl have agreed I am. I am extremely hardcore and I don't give into pointless temptations or have stress of any kind. My confidence is overwhelming. I am the bad guy, in a great movie. | |
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Murco
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Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 336 | |
| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/25/2008 1:33:40 PM | | I was just making a point of how attractive they found her, not really an issue to me and I rarely even introduce my dates to "the animals". She and I were at a bar that my buddies just happened to show up at and I still here about it... | |
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lustre
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Joined: 9/6/2008
Msg: 337 | |
| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/25/2008 1:52:41 PM | Hi OP,you cant help who you are attracted to but at least you are honest about how you feel,maybe as you get older your opinions might change and you could surprise yourself but as long as you treat your gf with lots of respect then you are doing no one any harm.everyone has their likes and dislikes,for me its dark hair,i cant explain it but give me a brunette any day of the week.
i have to say i hope you do find your special someone and maybe nature will have a surprise in store for you,whatever you do dont rule anyone in or out until you get to know them first,you might be surprised what you find,best wishes
Lustre | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/25/2008 3:06:25 PM | Sure, you can feel guilty all you want about judging people's attractiveness based on their weight. But what point does that serve? Are you going to suddenly change what kind of people you are attracted to? Sorry, doesn't work that way.
Just be attracted to whoever you are attracted to and drop this silly idea that you should somehow feel guilty. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/25/2008 6:21:54 PM | | Sweety, don't feel bad about how you feel, I am a full figure women, and I have always been big boned. I do look good, but you know what you like. I happen to love black men, but that is what I like. Be there friend, don't talk about them, and you will be more respected. I haven't had a problem getting a date, and you are so right, you must be attracted to that person. So be easy on yourself, never say never though, because you never know who God has instore for you. She may be heavy set, but in your eye you are able to look past that. So kudos to you, Go for what you know. Blessings Rhonda | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/25/2008 8:47:53 PM | wowsad,
Don't feel bad, dude. The way I see it..... what your eyes are attracted to/not attracted to is NOT UP TO YOU. It's not up to you just the way your nationality/race/etc are not up to you when you are born. It's not something to feel bad about.... even though i do sometimes feel bad about it. I'm a healthy, light eater and extremely athletic (I work out every day, not cause I feel I need to, but because I LOVE exercising)... so I tend to go for slim/athletic girls because 1) they are hot 2) they are into exercising like me. How could I connect with a very overweight, unhealthy eater when it comes to my love for exercise. I probably couldn't. Secondly, I tend to go for white girls and hispanic girls. Sometimes I'll find an asian girl to be attractive, and even though I can pick out a pretty black girl from an unpretty black girl, I tend to not find myself attracted to african american women. Does that make me racist? no. It's just what my eyes find sexually alluring and what it doesn't. I can't help it. I also like girls my height or shorter, and not taller than me...........should I feel bad about this? sure, if I wanted to... but I can't change it. I can't force myself to fall physically attracted to a 400lbs 6 foot 5 inch african american girl. I'm sorry!!! LOL | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/25/2008 9:22:59 PM | Nope, don't feel bad about it at all.....you like what you like and it's YOUR business.
I personally seem to have this thing for "heavier men"....and if they have a beard...OMG! LOL! I think I must have a Santa fixation or something LOL! Who know....and who cares? It's just what I'm attracted to. I wouldn't decline the opportunity to get to know someone who was thinner....but it's just not the attribute that immediately catches my eye. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/26/2008 5:54:00 AM | People judge others for something or other. If you're attracted to something, then so be it.
I just wouldn't go so far as to say, "I like skinny chicks, and bigger chicks are ugly heifers who can't get a date" etc. Or conversely, "I like the bigger ones. The skinny anorexic ones make me feel like I'm molesting a boy." To each his own.
And I personally wouldn't go so far as to discount other possibilities outside your ideal range. My SO isn't exactly what I would have been physically attracted to off the bat. He's rather shorter, and more slender than what I believed to be my "type". But hell, he looks damn good to me. Mmhmm. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:16:48 PM | Don't feel bad about not being attracted to larger women. I myself prefer my men with a little meat on their bones too.
Being a BBW, I would much rather have a guy who knows what he likes and goes for it. I really hate the jerks who come on to larger women just to get lucky or they don't want to admit publicly that they are attracted to larger women.
So my advice is stay true to yourself and treat others with respect.
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/26/2008 10:50:52 PM | + 1 about going outside your ideal range. I attracted to men like my ex - 6 pack/ tall, slender and low body fat/cut athlete. Then I started writing with a man who caught my attention and affections with his maturity and steady ways - he's still an athlete, but much thicker in the chest with a bit of a belly - WOW he feels good to hold when he engulfs me in his arms! Those 6-packs can hurt in a hug - often felt like being crushed against a board sometimes! lol. Always went for dark brunettes with wavy hair- bf shaves his head. Loved those dark brown eyes - bf has blue eyes.  Wouldn't change a thing about him! So you never know... | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/27/2008 12:05:45 AM | | Well i was always attracted to men who had "extra" baggage. Ive grown out of that. Honestly im not a thin girl at all. And if that guy im attracted to is attracted to me back i guess im doing something right. It shouldnt matter on weight or height. It should be based on personality and how they treat you. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/27/2008 1:43:31 AM | | Don't feel bad. I wouldn't want to be with a man that doesn't find me attractive. I have had too many men go out with me because some idiot told them that fat chicks are desperate and will put out. I am not desperate and I don't need a mercy date!! I prefer men much taller then me and on the thick side, so I have my type too. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/27/2008 2:58:51 AM | | I dont think you should feel bad. I mean i know people say its what inside that counts and yes thats true..... BUT.. you have to be physically attracted to the person as well. We all have our different preferences. Funny thing though about weight, women can put it on and lose it at different stages in our lives!! Would you dump your girlfriend if she was to put on a bit of weight?? I think if you did that, then thats taking it to far. My partner left me for another woman after i had our child. I went from a size 8 (in australia not sure what that is in other countries) size 8 over here is very skinny. Im 5ft eleven. So yeah im very tall. Even though i ate healthy and all the rest i put on stacks of weight. Long story wont go into it. Health issues with the baby and all the rest!! Anyway after i had my bub i was a size 18.. Yep i went up 5 dress sizes and put on 30 kilos. I must admit i wasnt happy with the way i looked, but hey i was concentrating on being a mum and yes my child is worth every bit of the weight i put on. After healthy eating, exercise. Im back down to a size 10. Still very skinny for a women my height. Im happy with the weight i am now, as i was too skinny before i had my child. I just laugh now when guys whistle at me. I think matey about 12 months ago you prob wouldnt even look at me!! hehe oh and before i had my child i was always told i was far too thin. Just for the record though i was still the same person and still am the same person ive always been. size 8 ,10 and 18!!! | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/27/2008 5:15:07 PM | Sexual attraction is important. It's hard to be with someone you're not attracted to. That's just how it is.
Got a problem with it? Loose weight. I've lost over 70 pounds in the past 6 months. I'm still heavy but I wont be like this forever. By this time next year I'll be fit and the women that ignored me will suddenly be making eyes at me.
Do I resent them for this? Yes!! I've got ten years (the time I've been dating) of vengeance coming to me. I've got every game every girl's ever put me through memorized and I'm going to love every minute of it. It's a great motivation when you're pumping weights. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 9/27/2008 5:54:15 PM | Although the site of bones showing through skin is pretty alarming health speaking, No. It doesn't make you a jerk for being attracted to thinner women. It sounds like you are not discriminatory when it comes to friendships when it come to size so I dont think you are a bad person you just are attracted to what you are attracted to. My only advice would be to look deeper in a person as you might find along the years that it isn't due to her amazing hipbones showing it's that she's nursing you at 80 through your hip replacement surgery, do you know what I mean?
Real Love is wayy more than physical attraction. But it's best to be honest about what you are attracted to so that you dont lead other women on, or vise versa.
Thank you though, for your honesty. No I dont think you're an ***hole.
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 10/19/2009 12:18:51 AM | I don't feel bad when I judge someone on their weight. And Im usually honest. Now why in the hell would you feel bad for blowing off the ones that didn't fit your type? You have a right to your own preferences and choices.
Speaking formyself, I would never date a chic if I wasn't attracted to her. Some people may disagree on this, but looks do play a big part in this..big time. | |
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