1john1
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Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 26 | |
| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 5:28:30 PM | "I've always gravitated towards the skinnier women, and I feel bad, but I'm just not attracted to women who are....bigger?"
I stopped reading here. I know what else you're going to write.
Dude....I love skinny chicks. ***I'm*** skinny. In fact, I've been rejected
because I'm 'too skinny'. OK. So, it works both ways.
So, my friend was bugging me, because I hadn't had sex in years ( like, since when is that
bad??...half the world has herpes ) and told me to 'lower my standards'. Ok. So, he set me up
with this really nice girl, what a sweetheart man....she was overweight, we hit the bedroom, and I was grossed out...and THEN, I felt GUILT, for feeling that way, and started shitting on myself for feeling that way. It was bad. I called myself an A**hole for feeling what I felt. That's just wrong.
If you're not physically attracted, BE FAIR TO THE OTHER PERSON AND DON'T DO IT WITH HER, because, it's not fair to HER. It's not that's it's you, it's not fair to HER. Don't you think she can feel that you're not into her.....oh man, don't be cruel. Just be friends ok.
You have a right to feel what you feel. And so does she. Love her as best as you can : ) | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 5:33:31 PM | Brunettes with curves and weight. Gimme a Y, gimme a U, gimme an eM, eM, eMMM!
I'm 6'1", and I'm also tall. I've never not liked (let's not waste time with euphamisms) chubby girls. I don't dislike skinny girls either. I prefer you ladies with softer curves and a belly. I fall in love with faces and a bit of chubb makes faces cuter. Grrrls ROCK! | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 5:51:06 PM | | OP are you judging???? Seems to me you are just stating a preference, which is cool. I'm a short(5'1) female but prefer taller (5'9 or taller) men and I love men with meat on their bones too. I gravitate to darker haired men versus blondes (really love gray though) go figured huh just my preferences as a larger woman. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 6:00:42 PM | | and so you should. you should feel awful. really really awful. now i want you to go out there and shag at least five women that disgust you. fat, thin, ginger, even manly. infact the more manly the better. that is your punishment my son for this apalling preference. | |
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Tramp
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Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 32 | |
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1john1
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Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 33 | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 7:05:08 PM | There is a difference between judging someone and having a preference to a type of person.
I am a big girl and some men like that and some men do not and I have never felt bad about those that do not.
I personally am attracted to guys with dark hair. Not really skinny and not Mr muscle. Actually I have a very specific type that I find "attractive" and would always be the type I would pick out of a crowd.
That being said I have learned a few things in my life and one of them is - do not be afraid to stray a little or more from what your type is. Sometimes if you take a look at what is under the wrapping paper you might be pleasantly surprised that what you find inside makes the packaging not as important as you once thought it to be.
Just remember everyone - to always try to be kind to those that you are rejecting. There is being honest and being mean. And none of use like to be treated unkindly whether we be a super model or a supermarket clerk. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 10:06:55 PM | | the reason why there's so many "I"'s in my post is because *I* was talking about wondering if *I* am being an ***hole or not.. I dunno. i'm not even dating anymore, so it really doesn't matter, i was just thinking because of all these posts about what kind of girl do you want yadda yadda, and i was thinking about what kind i'd want, or wanted. either way, its a pointless topic, but most of the topics on here are pretty damn pointless anyway. you've got one dude posting because his chick didn't call back, his chick posting because he's all mad, a a whole bunch of nonsense in between, so.... yeah, is this pointless? about as pointless as anything else in here. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 10:39:12 PM | I think it's more about attraction than judgement :) I would never be attracted to a scrawny or short guy myself- but I have nothing against them! I can even see how they are attractive- but I feel no personal attraction to them- so I get ya  | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 38 | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/11/2007 10:51:30 PM |
but if there's no physical attraction, how can a relationship form from that I'm with you on that. I myself am not drawn physically at all to stocky, dark-haired men with pale eye colour. It's just not for me. Do I feel bad or guilty? .. no, but society tells me I'm shallow for it, and I get criticized for not choosing even a heavier fellow on the sole basis of personality and his interest in me. If I accepted dates with someone I don't find attractive (meaning someone I don't want to kiss or be sexual with, EVER), I'd be lying to him and this is totally unfair. Why should some guy have to feel like less than my dreamboat just because I'm 'giving it a chance'?
Na... wowsad, if you have a type that pleases you, don't be embarrassed. Yes lots of people will condemn it as being superficial and judgemental, but in the long run you're doing the most honest thing.. which is to not insult someone by 'settling' for her (and she would sense it, believe me!).
I want a tall, thin guy with lighter hair and darker eyes. Call me shallow, guys who aren't like that ~ say I won't give you a fair shake, and think your worst about me as a person with shabby character. 
Finally ~ it's not a 'judgement' about weight, per se, it's a preference for a certain 'look' that is influenced by whatever you've picked up socially, mostly unconsciously too.
.. don't beat up on yourself about it. | |
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Karen5
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Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 40 | |
| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/12/2007 5:21:03 AM | wowsad, thanks for your post. It was heartfelt, honest, and compassionate.
Maybe I'm just a product of the media? I wonder just how much any of us are affected by the media. I think we are to a certain extent, but I'm one of those people who believes that if a person watches, for example, violent movies, it doesn't make him or her a violent person. I think it has more to do with one's genes and, to some extent, the way he or she was raised. What the media can do is trigger emotions and sometimes behaviors in us - but I don't think it's responsible for who each of us are as individuals.
We all have individual likes and dislikes - whether it comes to who we are attracted to, what kind of food we like, where we like to go on vacation, etc. If you choose Asia over Europe, do you feel bad? If you choose chicken over steak, do you feel bad? We are blessed with a wide variety of choices in all aspects of our lives. We can't possibly do all of them in this lifetime - so keep focussed on what makes you feel alive. Go for what you want, always. :-) | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/12/2007 6:05:12 AM | | Preferences - we all have them. But I can't help thinking it is a bit unrealistic/hypocritical for people only to consider models who are younger, slimmer and more attractive than themselves! However I think false self perception is partly to blame. I have come to the conclusion that someone must be marketing a special type of 'man mirror'. It instantly converts bald bonces into luscious locks, it lengthens, slims and takes years of your age! And yes I realise there are probably some 'woman mirrors' out there too. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/12/2007 8:01:22 AM | | If you are more attracted to thin women, there's nothing wrong with that. We all have our preferences. But why would you start a thread to announce it? I don't know what your are seeking to get from this. Do you think someone can change your mind? There are plenty of men out there who like bigger women, and a ton that don't care, so it probably all balances out. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/12/2007 8:07:54 AM | I *used* to feel bad about it until I realized that women were constantly discriminating against me based on their own criteria (typically height, hair color, etc.) most of which is entirely unfair because I cannot change it. So I thought I would return the favour.
I guess for me, I'm not attracted to large women because it's a sign of bad health. Why would I want to surround myself with a person that would drag me down and get me to develop bad habits? (ie: Bad eating habits, not enough exercise, etc.)
I'd rather be with an attractive woman that pushes me to remain attractive looking too. That way we bring each other up.
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tmotts
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Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 45 | |
| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/12/2007 8:11:43 AM | To me it sounds more like a fetish than a preference. Some people have a foot fetish, you seem to have a bone fetish and a fat aversion.
One of my ex's, I think had the same issues. I was a size 6 and he thought I needed to lose 20 lbs. He seemed to be really attracted to girls who were a size 0. I saw some of the girls he dated and I thought they had no womanly curves at all. Funny thing is, he was overweight himself but hated fat! He actually found it repulsive!
I am just making an observation.......please dont get upset! | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/12/2007 8:24:22 AM | You are entitled to your likes and dislikes as we all are. I just want to give you a little advice from a much older women who has been overweight her whole life...My late husband was very buff and he loved me so much he never noticed how big or little I was. He used to say, "beauty fads with age, true character lasts a lifetime" and it is so true. Most women even the 5'5" women eventually gain weight after children, it is no accident that women have 28% fat ration to men's 18%.
As for my likes and dislikes, I hate beards of any kind and long hair. Am I giving a guy a chance who has a beard, probably not. But a freshly shaved face with a little smell good stuff is a huge turn on for me, and chemistry is everything. You just havn't found the right woman for you and you will ...keep looking
happy hunting | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/12/2007 9:08:20 AM | | naww..no point going for a girl you're not attracted to. a relationship is not a charity. you're just gonna do the girl a disservice if you try to say you'll look past her fatness (as opposed to phatness) and try to force it. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/13/2007 6:56:37 AM | Nothing wrong with having preferences, just as long as you're not an @$$hole about it. Good-looking girls have heavy friends and word gets around quick if you're a jerk to a girl because of her weight.
I myself have dated 2 overweight girls and both were quite short and had bad hygiene. Not saying ALL overweight women are that way. And I've dated 2 girls who were slender and a little bit taller than me. They were fun girls to be with! Like the O.P., I'd rather be with a tall, slender girl with small breasts than a short, overweight girl with big breasts. But that's a preference, and like @$$holes, we all have them.
And it's better to be honest and say you don't like overweight women than to use one for sex when she's got feelings for you. Just my dos centavos. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/13/2007 7:26:02 AM | OP
Dont feel bad about what/who/size you feel attracted to.
I wouldnt want to go after a woman that could crush me if she falls on me either,LOL
I really have not spent much time with women in the size 2-6 that you speak of, most have been 10-16 in my case.
BBW women are not my preference, cant get longterm attraction to cellulite.
Like to be with a HWP body, which can cover a large range of women. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 5/13/2007 7:37:57 AM | poorwhitegirl on 5/11/2007 2 38 PM
Subject: I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Message:
i would so date a midget!
But most midgets are overweight.
Seriously though, I think there is a difference between you just not being attracted to bigger women and you being just downright cruel just because they're bigger than you like. And I think you are the former, not the latter. Just stay that way, and don't be a d!ck about it. Remember that by societies standards, you are short for a man. - It's kind of the same thing. It's one thing to not be attracted, it's another to be an assh0le about it.
HEHE, yep, OP is about right height to be concidered perfect for a female model.
He would be concidered tall if he is from asian extraction, you must be thinking since he appears to be from european ancestry he is a short man. | |
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