| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/30/2007 12:47:31 PM | | If you think you feel bad about only being attracted to skinny woman, you ought to try being an over weight female who is not attracted to over weight men. It makes me feel awful to not be attracted to the nicest guys because they are too heavy. I mean ,who am I to be judgementel but I am. I need to be attracted to a man in order to be able to sleep with him and that is just the facts. I do not have to have a very skinny man he just cannot be really large, stocky or a little big is ok . I feel really bad because the bigger men see my profile and assume that I will except them because I am overweight, but alas, I have tried and I just cannot do it. Its kinda like the way I was hard wired I guess. I also cannot date a man who had bad teeth either. I guess I will just stay single lol. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/30/2007 1:51:35 PM | Ya know what, I've had weight problems all my life. As a kid was always teased, picked on, and made fun of because I was overweight. As a adult, I would here the "you need a bra jokes, come on slim," and so on blah blah blah. So, about 6 years ago, I finally did something about it, went on Weight Watchers, went to the gym, changed my diet and lifestyle, and lost 50 pounds. Because of it, my wife divorced me, and many say I need to put weight on. Ladies tell me I'm too thin, and prefer guys with a little more bulk.
You can't win to loose in this gig. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/30/2007 2:14:38 PM | Barbie...
I agree with your post, in regard to the bad teeth. If a man has nasty teeth...it's over before it started. I'm a very picky plus -sized woman. I prefer younger men, meaty beefcakes, dark eyes, hair and skin. Now, I'm not saying I would necessarily over-look anyone, per se, but the thing is..it's just my preferences.
My only beef is with some men who chase chubby/fat women with the soul purpose of sex. They are indeed attracted to these women sexually, but wouldn't be caught dead in public with them. Otherwise, I have no issue with who likes me or not. We all have to be attracted to someone if there is to be any romance. Just be real!
I've dated many types of guys..from very good looking to average joes, and a few that even my mother asked what the hell I was doing dating them. Sometimes, it's looks that catch your attention, but if they open their mouth and spew a bunch of garbage, I'm not so interested anymore. I think it's where you are in life, and your experiences in relationships that mold your preferences of ideal lovers/companions.
I don't feel bad about my likes...and I really see no reason why anyone should feel bad about not being attracted to a certain body type. Just my thoughts anyway.
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/30/2007 3:57:24 PM |
I did date a chick that was heavier, when I was 19 or so. She was really fun to hang out with, and we had a great time, but there was always just something missing.
Word of advice: Overweight girls always make the best girlfriends. I try to tell my sons this too, but they just aren't buying it. Think about it...................
*She won't cheat on you
*She would love to cook you gourmet meals
* She will do ANYTHING to please you sexually
* Your best friend won't be "hitting" on her. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/30/2007 4:03:53 PM | Hell i dont feel bad if someone said to me that i was fat!!
i dont care i just say **
ok when you have hit 18 years old and have a kid and than 3 more times after that all within 3 years baby you would be fat too..
and than i got laught my ass off!!!!
i dont care what people say about me cause im fat now cause i was trying with my *now ex* to have more kids and losted them kids all i just dont care but i do have 1 girl and 1 boy now so im happy as hell....
im big mama and i love it!!!!
im fat and im proud of it baby!!!!!!!!
hugs
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/30/2007 4:18:54 PM | OP, I'm not putting you down, but I would like to tell you a little story that may change your perspective somewhat. I will try to make this short.
All my life I went for the tall dark muscular type. My girlfriend introduced me to her new boyfriend. OMG, he was short a little chubby and really nothing to look at. Then I started to get to know him. He was funny, charming and treated her like a queen. As time went by, in my mind, he became the most attractive man I had ever met. They now are happily married with two kids. Everytime I see my girlfriend I tell her how lucky she is.
My point being....too many men and women only see the surface (Ofcourse there are somthings ie: ugly teeth, poor hygene etc. that are real deal breakers.) We should take the time to get to know the inside person before we decide if we are attracted or not. Instant attraction is only a temporary state of mind.
OP, Your type of attraction has only given you heartache and you say you are not even dating now. I'm not saying you should go out and find a nice sweet obese woman,
but something with some meat on it could give you a better chance at happiness.
Wishing you well,
Sunny | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/30/2007 4:24:20 PM | I don't feel bad and I certainly wouldn't apologize for being attracted to whoever I am attracted to.
I like blonde hair, green eyes -- I'm not apologizing or feeling bad for neglecting red heads.  | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/31/2007 6:27:40 AM | OP, I don't think that you are being judgemental about things, do some searching about topics like these, and you will see judgemental.. You like what you like, there is no harm in that.
Your likes aren't offending to people who don't fall into your category.
We all have preferences, I myself will not date a man who looks like he is 9 months pregnant, I just don't find it attractive....
You don't like women whose bones aren't protruding from their bodies...
To each his own I say!!!
JJ | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/31/2007 7:34:38 AM | Somehow I don't think weight or size even matter. When you first meet a person you will make a physical judgement, it's only human. However if you speak with that person and listen to them and view their personality, then weight and size no longer becomes an issue, because your not communicating with their physical body, your communicating with the person inside that shell.
It's my opinion that people turn away from oversized people because they are concerned about what other's think, and don't have the ball's to say anything, they'll simply just let that person go. Very sad. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/31/2007 7:52:30 AM | | Anyone over 104 is overweight. However, do you want someone bullemic, anorexic, mentally ill? Besides, most don't have boobs or a period at that weight. Can't have everything. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/31/2007 9:31:23 AM | | I think different types of women attract me. I do not like girls who are all bones or women who are the extreme opposite of that. I do find plenty of women with extra pounds to be attractive depending on the girl just like a woman who is average looks very depending on the girl. Everyone has their own preferences. Not everyone likes the same slim girl if they like only that or the same type of chubby girl if they like that. People are attracted to what they are attracted to... For me, generally, the hardest part is the personality part. I am flexible somewhat when it comes to the physical part, but I find it hard finding the kind of woman that fits what I want... | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/31/2007 10:50:16 AM | | i never used to judge people on their weight ,but now i do . i myself is a little over weight and i dont like the few extra pounds so why should i expect anyone else to like them . | |
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dpd22
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Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 90 | |
| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/31/2007 12:45:46 PM | It's my opinion that people turn away from oversized people because they are concerned about what other's think, and don't have the ball's to say anything, they'll simply just let that person go. Very sad.
This might be true in a few cases, but I think many people wouldn't date a fat person because they aren't attracted to fat people, not because of what others would think. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/31/2007 12:48:43 PM | | I understand that everyone has preferences about what they find attractive in a partner, but as one of those "heavier" women....I think it's important to be as kind and tactful as possible when letting someone know that you're NOT interested or attracted to them. Even us heavy women have our preferences, but I would never say " h*** nah, you're too skinny...when ya finish walking on them legs, can I pick my teeth with them"...lol. I guess it's just a matter of being considerate of people's feelings. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/31/2007 12:53:18 PM | Can't really change who you are attracted too; I think it's something that is hard wired into most of us. As long as you are not being mean to anyone you're not attracted to, who are you hurting.
If you get rejected by some of those taller women you're attracted to for your being too short, that may give you a great perspective on how to or not to treat others. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/31/2007 1:20:26 PM | Clearly I'm fat, but doctors cant seem to figure out why. Been through test after test and diet after diet....no luck. I have a healthy lifestyle, very active and I eat right. So not all of us thick girls are in "poor health".
My last bf and I were friends before we dated. He was 6'1" and 160lbs of muscle, so we were total opposites lol He actually became really angry when I was recommended to have the bypass surgery. I didn't understand why because he was not attracted to heavy girls before me, and he hasn't dated a heavy girl since. He just liked me, as I was, with no strings and no thoughts on changing me. And that's really what everyone wants anyway. Should you feel bad? Nah but keep in mind while your initial attraction may be based on looks, sometimes you'll find that someone who doesn't fit the mold can turn out to be just as attractive. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/31/2007 7:07:05 PM | | I lived in the same building as the couple from Jersey. The husband was a tall average guy. His wife was a sassy, sweet, big Jersey girl with very nice blue eyes, and long sandy blonde hair. He obviously thought his chubby wife was pretty. They seemed like two kids in love. It did help that they knew each other most of their lives. She was his sister's friend, they ended up in college together and decided to date at one point and decided to get married at one point. Everyone has their preferences in general. Some men like only figure on a woman, one look and that's that. Some men just as they might like a blue, red, and brown shirt will different kinds of women. No one person is the same. I generally prefer someone of medium build or slightly chubby, but it's kind of a grey area, because I think all kinds of women based on their personalities and how they carry themselves look attractive. I can't say I am not influenced by society, but I still march to the beat of my own drum, and if I am convinced that I like someone I don't care. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/31/2007 8:36:24 PM | We're taught not to insult or point out overweight people, yet it's perfectly fine to comment on thin people. Neither are okay. Both are rude.
However...I don't see anything wrong with not being attracted to someone you deem "too thin" or someone you deem "too big." Liking body shape is no different than having a hair or eye color preference. You like what you like. Whatever. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 7/31/2007 9:16:53 PM | I am really surprised to see how civil this thread is. Seems like everyone agrees that this is about personal preference.
I'd like to ask a question: I clearly say in my profile that I am also attracted to someone in good shape or on the thinner side. Why is it I have never gotten a message from a thinner woman and receive dozens of messages from ladies of the thicker side? If all of you agree that personal preference is personal, then why people (nice people) put me in this position where I have to tell them that I am not attracted to them even though they have a wonderful profile and seemingly also a great personality? | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 8/3/2007 3:36:49 PM | | Coming from a Big Girl... Don't feel bad... If you are not attracted the these women.. Thats on you... But have you ever wondered if maybe you could be friends with any of them... Not everyone on this site is looking to hook up... Some just want to make friends and go out and have a good time... I have made a couple myself... And let me tell you most of them like LEAN MEAT... But I have some great friends!!!! Give it a shot sometime... They may just surprise you... | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 8/3/2007 3:57:37 PM | Hey Wowsad Sweetie, your honesty and candor are refreshing..........your sharing of your honest opinion while NOT bashing big girls is so rare and a BEAUTIFUL THING!!! I loved reading how the hip bone sticking out is so sexy to you without telling us how desgusting I am. THANK YOU! You are a rare jewel and the girl who finds you will have found a "good thang"!!
I didn't read any other responses as this OP was too good to pass up and I don't have much time.
There is absolutely NO reason to feel bad about who you are and are not attracted to.
You a perfectly OKAY.............like who you like and love who you love but always be YOU and always be real........you do EVERYONE a favor when you live your truth!!!
Imagine this.....
.....some girl is dating you but she doesn't like dark hair(you have dark hair) and she doesn't like men your size and as a matter of fact, she just can't seem to muster up any "real" sexual attraction for you, but she thought you were a "nice" guy. So, she continues the relationship knowing she just doesn't want you in that way but just as friends because, well hell, she doesn't want to seem shallow, so she stays and you both LOSE.........she loses because she feels guilty and is with someone she is not attracted to and YOU are missing out on someone who for sure could love you in EVERY way and beleive me, there is someone out there who wants to love you in every way.........
WOULDN"T THAT SUCK?????
SO remember..........your honesty is TRUE LOVE!!!!
My brain can't even wrap around the concept of being with a man who doesn't think I'm smokin hot! My ego is bigger than my stomach.......so that would NEVER do!
All the best to you,
Diva | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 8/3/2007 4:34:24 PM | Don't feel bad about whom you're attracted to ... we all have our preferences, whether we want to admit it or not. My fantasy guy has always been over 6 feet tall with a football-player build, and going back to 1994 I saw that description that I'd put in a personal ad, as my fantasy guy. But I never, ever sought him out. I've never dated anyone who was skinny nor have I dated anyone who society would call attractive. I have a major obsession with goatees. I've never dated a man with a goatee.
But this week I hit the jackpot when I met someone (from this site) who is the fantasy guy come to life.
As long as you're not going around referring to bigger women as heifers, you're not mooing at us and not assuming we all live at McDonald's, there is nothing wrong with your preferences. | |
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| I feel bad when I judge people on their weight..
Posted: 8/3/2007 5:16:44 PM | | Im a naturally thin person and to be quite honest I hate it! I would give anything to gain a extra 5-10kgs but I cant...Ive tried all the high carbs high protein stuff and the most i will gain is a couple of kilos in about 3 months, but Ive learnt to live with it...it shouldnt really matter what size you are, what color you are etc its whats on the inside that really matters, if a woman is over weight...so what! She may have the purest heart of gold and so much love to give. Thats my opinion anyway :) | |
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