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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/28/2007 12:04:25 PM | Embrace...screw that if I'm having sex I'm gonna be married....... Just kiddin....If I'm gonna be married I'm having sex....lol | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/28/2007 3:26:59 PM | | Honestly, when it comes to relationships, the Europeans (generally) have the right idea. The Americans (including us Canadians/newfies/whatever) have ruined it via materialism and idiotic bullshit such as counsellors(??) and tripe from TV and various magazines. | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/28/2007 4:56:54 PM | must have been invented by a man.
because they want to enjoy sex from women without having any obligation to them.
well this is definately a sexist asinine comment
not all men are sleeze bags , however alot are
there is alot more to life than sex and however nice sex in any relationship can b it isnt the beginning and end of the relationship
personally ive been asked for that fwb situation and turned it down several times
i dont see whatbenefit i recieve from that arrangement at all,
so as i see it i get to pop over n screw her when she wants me to and in the end i get nothing more than a thanks n cya next time i need ya
what the hell is that ???
sorry i can find alot better things to do with my time than chase around on some womans whims
maybe the op could have better stated "her" intentions by sayin the young people today want to lead lives basing sex as merely a recreational sport , akin to playin a game of pool with their buddies | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:29:49 PM | From what I know about friends with benefits is that there is sex only when he wants it at no cost and there are no other benefits.
I'm not sure how the word friend even enters the picture because these types of relationships are far from friends.
I'm certain too that this was coined by a man just to get sex for free in exchange for that nonexistant friendship. | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:32:01 PM | classy Freinds with benefits is always friends first and foremost. many are long term and most continue to be friends even after the benefits have ended.
Non existant friendship?
No no. It is friends first. | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:41:14 PM | Well then if it is friends first and sex secondly it would be a relationship. Someone you can turn to when the going gets tough but from the experience I have this has been far from the case.
A few women fooled themselves thinking they could have sex without falling in love and it wasn't easy or for the most part possible.
One in particular that I know of had a child out of it with her friend with benefits and believe me he was no friend to her when the baby was born.
I have known a few others and the ladies all said the same thing yes there was sex but when they needed a friend he was never there.
So I maintain my stance on the subject and do the right thing shy away from anyone who wants emotionless free sex without even knowing the meaning of the word friends. | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:46:54 PM | That is why it is always friends first. As a matter of fact it is often long term friends.
some one who meets someone new and is under the assumption that they can start a FWB with them is only fooling themselves. | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/28/2007 6:04:59 PM | | Nick, you are too deep! this is just about FWB, you are going philisophical here, go to Barnes and Noble or Amazon to do that! | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/30/2007 10:00:32 PM | | FWB? now lets get things everybody wants there cake and eat it to. like when women start talking about how women should save the sex for someone they care about. because if they give it up they lose the leverage. look when you start talking like that, that is what brings the playa's to flock to you, and please women don't say that you can spot a playa, or a man who is in it for just sex a mile away, because you wouldn't be such a glutton for punishment; and continue to chase after the same tipe of guys. at least it a guy says he wants friends with benefits he is at least being straight up with you. and you will know where you stand for the time being. but women want to benifit from many many men. for example: 1) they want one man for sex, 2) another one for enjoying dinner with, 3) one for taking walks with, 4) one for listening to there problems, 5) one that can give great kisses, 6) one who is like a trophy and will make the other women jeleous ......etc the list goes on. another way women say friends with benefits is by telling you they don't know what they want or they want to see whats out there ,or they are not ready yetfor a relationship. look people men and women want the same things, its just come down to who is better at lieing to get what they want. | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/31/2007 7:30:54 AM | I guess people will just have to disagree - no one is going to be swayed by explanations or arguments unless they're on the fence on this subject. Those who have tried this successfully and know it can work won't convince those who are opposed for whatever reason - and those people won't try it but do have the right to express their opinions (though I may strongly disagree with their views).
Those opposed may influence someone not to try a FWB arrangement, or at least to think it through more. I think that's good too, as it is not for everyone, and it should be given careful thought so that you enter into it thoughtfully.
Personally, I've tried it, it worked great, and worked great for my FWB's - they still hold up our arrangement to their friends as an example of how it should be done, if it is done at all. We're all happy about it, and no one elses' opinion can change that reality. | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/31/2007 9:04:09 AM | ^^^ Exactly. It's possible for some people to enjoy this type of arrangement and it's impossible for others to separate feelings so they can't do this.
It's not right or wrong, it's only relevant to the situation and the people in it. Any situation that failed involved people who didn't know each other long at all, and involved one person that thought more would come of it. No one gets used in a mutual arrangement where two people are long time friends and NEITHER wants a full blown relationship. Any other equation isn't going to work.
No need to disagree, because there should be no debate. It is what it is. You can do it, fine - you can't, don't. I can't stand people who judge those who do things they don't do. No one's forcing anyone to get into something like that, so relax. As well people who can do this sort of thing should respect people that only have sex when involved and abstain from sex between relationships. That's their choice and their right. | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/31/2007 9:15:41 AM | ".....and it's impossible for others to separate feelings so they can't do this."
Friends do not have feelings for each other?
It seems to me that some people have a very shallow impression of what the term FRIENDS really means, that is real FRIENDS, either with or without benefits!!! | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/31/2007 9:33:50 AM | ^^^ This is my point about people being judgemental, which obviously wasn't really noticed. I can see my font from here, is it coming off as invisible everywhere else?
Of course friends care about each other, but that has nothing to do with the benefits; they are separate and mutual to each person within that friendship. Friends with benefits are successfully able to add benefits and take them away and still remain good friends because they know each other well and care about each other. The friendship is bigger and more important than the benefits, as they should be.
There, was that clear enough? They don't have a draw feature here so I can't make a chart or graph. Too bad, looks like I may have needed one.
Dude again, my point is if you don't do it, fine - then that's YOU, and you don't have to. Don't judge those who do. It doesn't concern you, just as what you do shouldn't concern them. Live and let live. | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/31/2007 10:37:58 AM | but the OP asked for opinions..
so like it or not everyone will never ever agree..those in a FWB tryst will argue for it..those not will argue against it..simple phychiatric basics 101.
I tend to believe age has something to do with an opinion about it..younger folks seem to look at sex much differently that say someone in midlife..
and so it goes..debate..toss the gauntlet..discussion is good..open communication..
In a room of a 100 you will never get 100% to agree on any subject..
Dusty
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/31/2007 11:17:36 AM | If the "friends" and "benefits" parts are balanced, and BOTH people are on the same page, I see no earthshaking harm in FWB.
However, if the people( and somehow or other this is usually somthing a GUY pulls)are only present to get "benefits" and little or no trace of "friends" can be found, I feel like that's dishonest. Guys, go pay a woman. Women, if you get this crap pulled on you a lot, start CHARGING for it.
And guys, don't EVER try to manipulate a woman into a FWB by suggesting, with either/or word and deed, that FWB is all she has any right to expect, and she should be grateful for those crumbs. If she really is THAT unpalatable, and so low in self esteem that she goes along with this, you should be ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. That sort of behavior is lower than low.
On the other side of the coin, if you feed that line to a woman with more spirit and self respect(or maybe just strong oldfashioned morals), you might just find yourself out the door carrying your head under one arm and your nuts in a brown paper bag.
I had one guy ALMOST sell me on a FWB relationship, but I decided that if sex was "all a middleaged woman could expect" then I damn well was gonna go for BETTER sex than what I was getting from him. I did spend some time in an involvement that never could quite make up its' mind whether it was a FWB or a relationship. That was interesting, but I cut off the benefits part, to KEEP it from becoming a relationship. THAT would never have worked in the long run. ( Serious philosophical differences)
Over all, I really don't have any strong feelings one way or the other about FWB as long as no one is being exploited or strung along on false pretenses.
Cindy O | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/31/2007 12:00:25 PM | dustyknight - a room of 100 peeople? LOL
In any group of 2 people, you are likely to find at least 3 opinions! | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/31/2007 12:13:29 PM | Where I hail from friends with benefits means benefits without a price tag attached. The ones that approached me with this "opportunity" made it clear that it was the benefits they wanted and that was it.
No commitment to friendship whatsoever. It is apparent that I expect more from a friend than most of you.
If a woman or man can lower themselves to have sex with someone while still out there looking for the right one than so be it! I always thought that if you were good enough to have sex with you should be good enough to be seen in public with!
Hey but it's a great way to get someone to put out without paying for it! | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/31/2007 12:41:46 PM |
I always thought that if you were good enough to have sex with you should be good enough to be seen in public with!
What you don't go out in public with your friends?
Others as well as myself keep saying that it is friends first and foremost.
The ones that approached you with that so-called opportunity was looking for fvck buddies. Big difference.
FWB the emphasis is indeed on the friendship.
Fvck buddies is all about the sex just like a booty call. | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/31/2007 12:44:35 PM | CindyO,
darlin I feel a inkling of men bashing going on..
I have been approached by a few..not alot of women who actually want this type of relationship..they keep anything away from their kids, their job aand family but get attention they feel they need..
I, just don't believe in FWB and have always declined..
So sweetheart..women do it too..use men for toys and such..and not always are talked into sex..
What about the women who frequent bars..play men for drinks and dancing..with no other intentions of being there next saturday nite and playing a new group of men..
Unfortunately most men think with their small head instead of the one atop their shoulders..and delude themselves, buying drinks, hoping more will happen with this woman.
I ask a woman out..pay for all as far as dinner and drinks, being grateful for the companionship..I expect nothing more..again I say it's more of an age and maturity ideal rather than monitary or relationship phobia.
dusty
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/31/2007 12:52:03 PM | To add further clarification to uglybetty's explanation, nick, the "feelings" are those that have to do with falling in love and wanting a committed, monogamous, long-term relationship.
As many have said and agreed upon, the ideal FWB relationship is based on a solid friendship. They care about each other, as friends. They hang out, go out, do friend-type things together. They also agree that, when they're not involved in other relationships, they enjoy having sex with each other...knowing that there are no "I'm in love with you so let's settle down, get married and make babies" kind of feelings. | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/31/2007 1:06:00 PM | It's a nice name for a booty call.
Booty calls happen when you hit a dry spell. Everyone needs a slump buster. lol
Usually it consists of an ex or aquaintance that you do not see as Mr. Right, but more like Mr. Right now.
There are rules though.
This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2002, by_______________________, between ____________and______________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have anything to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" crap- only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The
answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from
out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with benefits" we are not friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the %$#@! home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's
girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.
19. No condoms, no sex. Carry your ass home.
20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically
become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________ | |
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| Friends With Benefits
Posted: 5/31/2007 1:15:09 PM |
It's a nice name for a booty call.
Well would you mind telling us what your name for Friends is then.
FWB is friends first . Anything else and someone either doesn't know the meaning of friends or they are trying to sell you a bill of goods.
Maybe as part of your list of rules you should add no helping each other move. No recomending movies or books. none of all the rest of the things that friends do.
Seems like people anymore just don't understand what a friend is. | |
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