| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 11:44:47 AM |
My pen/email friend who's doing a PHD says that my experiences 'suck' and that I should be a lot more selective who I contact in future.
Hot diggity. Yes you should. Stop going out with women you feel should be "grateful" to be out with a man at all. | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 11:45:39 AM |
Yes, but then they become damaged goods who are insecure. And now nice guys not only finish last, they also get the damaged goods!
LMAO! Seriously, what Kobalt is saying here is sooooo true! If you are a nice guy, you are in a no win situation. Maybe a dose of Leykis 101 is needed here on this forum to help all the nice guys along! | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 53 | |
| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 12:28:13 PM | | Most men ( and many women as well ) will email someone and the message often gets read/deleted without a response. It would be nice to get a response, but getting mad and complaining about it won't help your chances. | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 12:42:14 PM | Hi Chipmunk1,
Hope you are having more success than me!
You tell me what I'm doing wrong? When I've met the last three dates, we seemed to get on really well and have many common interests. The last one I met we chatted for around 90 minutes in a relaxed up-market pub. I bought her some drinks and she told me about her work with horses that I found interesting . My mates say the photos are a true likeness of me. We also chatted about other things including motoring which she seemed very interested in.
Later that day she text me to say that she's now realized that she is not ready to have a relationship yet and wants to stay friends. She hopes I meet a nice girl. I said 'ok' but haven't heard from her since. I was very disappointed as I really liked her.
My portrait gives a very accurate account of myself and my interests. I don't know where I'm going wrong considering that some of them contacted me first. I've got another date this Friday so I'll keep my fingers crossed! I'll keep  and hopefully get a catch one day! | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 12:57:10 PM | Hi varoom1971! ,
Well I will keep my fingers crossed. You might be reaping the effects of on-line dating and the corresponding number game. Just hang in there and something good will happen to you! | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 12:59:03 PM | For one thing OP is that you say your a nice guy but us women do not know a if you're "nice guy" just by reading your profile or looking at your picture. YES...men complain all the time, but take this into account....what if it's not just "nice guys" complaining about being rejected? We women don't know who is "nice" or not...all this is based on several things that lead us to reject/not reject the advances on this site;
1) Attraction...very important (even for men)
2) Interests... also important
3) Future goals... are you both heading in the same direction?
etc...........
Many lie on their profiles!
My comments are including both genders....women also lie and some are "nice". Just because a man or a woman says that they are "nice" doesn't necessarily mean that they are.
Just my opinion on this of course. | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 1:05:05 PM | I think the problem is that this guy doesn't realize that women don't need us to feel complete. I would say for a lot of guys, the oppisite is true. I also think that the older a woman gets the harder it is to impress her. As with everyone. In your late 20's early 30's you've been around the block a few times. You've loved, been dumped, been the dumper, etc... And now you know what qualities you like in a partner; a little from this ex, and a little from this ex, and some more from a couple other ex's and you have the perfect man or women that you're looking for. Unfortunately, I think men and women also forget that there is no perfect anything out there. It's all about comprimize. That's what life is, learning to negotiate, and comprimise, in different situations so that each can get along. The trick is not to comprimise yourself and become something you're not.
In final i'd like to tell this guy that find a good woman takes time and effort, and may not happen until later in life. I know people that have only just found there life partner in there 50's. So be patient ,and STOP YOUR CRYING-women really don't like that! | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 1:15:13 PM | I'm not mean to anyone that approaches me... I do talk to them, and I do respond to everyone's e-mails.... Even though it's to say thanx or whatever to their compliments... I don't feel good about myself if I don't answer that e-mail no matter who the guy is  | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 1:55:47 PM | Hi A.S.K,
You make a lot of good points here. I think one of my main problems is lack of experience. I haven't been around the block a few times. I have been compromising myself to please others too much and becoming something I'm not.
I spent 5 years at college after leaving school, studying all the time. I should have been socialising and dating too. I think things would have been easier now had I done so. | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 2:06:47 PM | Harsh Chipmunk, but reality often is.
Finding a life mate is not supposed to be a quick easy process. If it is, there is a good chance you have made a grevious error in choice and you are headed for a rocky road ahead.
Maybe a dose of Leykis 101 is needed here on this forum to help all the nice guys along! Oh yes, because a guy who has been married and divorced 4 times, is a great relationship authority. And oh, I know women dig men that listen to Leykis. Because when I am looking for a man, I want one who thinks he should dump me if I don't put out by the third date. Nothing like a man who is cold and calculating that only cares about getting some tail.
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 2:54:21 PM |
Oh yes, because a guy who has been married and divorced 4 times, is a great relationship authority. And oh, I know women dig men that listen to Leykis. Because when I am looking for a man, I want one who thinks he should dump me if I don't put out by the third date. Nothing like a man who is cold and calculating that only cares about getting some tail.
So you are an avid Leykis fan! How interesting! Do I detect a slight concern that he might actually reach the "nice" guys out there and that they will adopt his tenants! Sort of like fighting fire with fire don't you think! Crap I might just do the guys a favor and post the tenants in the dating advice section. After all, these tenants are guaranteed to improve their sex lives. | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 4:57:19 PM | | I don't necessarily think that it's just girls who are heartless (rude is the word I would use). There are plenty of men who are rude as well. I think it has to do more with a lack of manners and caring about other peoples feelings. Online we are just a photograph and a bunch of words - not a human being with feelings. We all have baggage to some degree because at some point in our lives we have experienced rejection and have been hurt by it. No one likes it, but we all have endured it. Hurt always leaves a scar from which we attempt futher injury in the future. We ward off advances from anyone who appears to approach in a manner that strikes a "I got hurt by this approach before" memory and we act not so nice. There is no simple answer and everyone can't be judged by a generalization. | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 9:13:00 PM | Hay Varoom1971
You know what I have finally figured out in life. And not just about women. It's this--you have to fiure yourself out first. You have to spend time with yourself and find out what makes you happy, how to find happiness in yourself.
I lived on my own since I was 18. There was short times when I was living with a girl but for the most part I lived with myself. And the one thing I have learned is that all the friends in the world and you still have to come home and see the same person in the mirror every nite. There are a lot of lonely nites, but I finally learned what I want from a women, and what I want from myself.
I have comprimized myself to the point that my sister didn't even know who I was. But you get lonely, and want a companion. And guess what, I'm still single
The only difference is that I don't care if I find a woman, if she's going to be the wrong women. I'd rather be alone than waste my time being something I'm not.
Good luck Varoom | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 9:51:40 PM |
After all, these tenants are guaranteed to improve their sex lives. Really, and where are these tenants renting, because everyone wants to move there... Is Tom adopting tenants now?
I think you mean tenets.
I am not a fan at all. I used to maintain a website for a radio station that carried his broadcast and after listening once, I found it sickening. I consider a man who listens to Tom Leykis and likes it, to be a big red flag. So will most emotionally healthy women who learn what he espouses. So sure, let them all know, women included. Make my day.
I am really sorry if men with obvious emotional issues are going after and dating "heartless girls." Makes the rest of us women look bad, in much the same way as the men who screw around and dump women or treat them like crap makes it harder for men.
Once again, "The Mominatrix Guide to Whether You Need Therapy" comes into the picture. If it happens to you once, it's a fluke. Twice, it's a coincidence. Three times? It's you and you win the "I need serious therapy" door prize.
If this is a pattern, it's not them, it's you. Let me reiterate... It's not them, it's you! Something is drastically wrong with the way you are choosing the women you want to date. Stop whining, step up to the plate and change the way you are doing business. If something is not working for you, why repeat it over and over and over again? For God's sake... stop dating for a while and work on your issues, before you pour them liberally over others and shake well.
What I am saying might sound heartless and unsympathetic to those who are hurting, but the best way I can help those people is to tell them the unadulterated truth, 100% of the time. Ask any of my friends here, because I tell them the precise same thing, and amazingly enough, they often do not listen as well.
Just because I am in a great relationship with a wonderful man does not mean I do not care about everyone else and just say whatever comes to mind. It affects me when my female friends are hurt by men that have treated them like crap. I am upset when women treat my male friends like crap. The people who are hurt and distrustful go on to mess with others because of their issues. It's like an ugly web of nasty behaviour that spreads all over and makes everyone unhappy. | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 10:44:47 PM | Varoom -
You're not doing anything wrong she just didnt fancy you / want a relationship with you..
That "friendship" thing...? Come on it takes time and shared life to be a real friend.... Your were not "friends" before you met - And a friendship with a man who wants more?? - That's not likely to happen either under the circumstances is it?
... She was simply trying to be polite about saying she just wasnt interested in you in that way...
But you knew that really didn't you.....Hmmmm?? | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/16/2007 11:08:31 PM | HOW CAN YOU TREAT SOMEONE LIKE DIRT ON A WEB SITE?
This type of thread drives me nuts. HOW IS ANYONE TREATING ANYONE LIKE DIRT, if you dont like someone then that is what the block/delete button is for.
If you are confident that a sparse profile, no picture etc works for you then so be it, BUT, words like DONT WANT TO OR CANT TELL YOU about me RING HUGE BIG BELLS for both men and women.
We cant all like the thousands of people on this site, impossible, what we have to do is work out the ones we do like, and this is what the block and delete button is all about, weeding out the men who you dont feel match your profile.
And of course, we all have the option to not receive contact from different sorts of people, have been disappointed when a message is refused and you dont know why? But hey ho it happens, move on and check out the others, after all PLENTY MORE FISH ON THIS SITE.
HAPPY  | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 69 | |
| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/17/2007 12:22:15 AM |
I'm wondering why girls are so heartless.
Okay, I'm about to be in trouble with the Women's Club of North America for divulging a big secret: We have weekly meetings and at last week's, we voted to ALL treat men like crap. Isn't that what you're saying we do, anyway? We figured we might as well make it true.
Your post tells me that you're "one of those" who thinks that because he writes to a woman, she OWES him something. I apologize if that isn't your view, but these threads DO come across that way. I am sorry if some woman/women treated you like crap, but don't you think that it's better to thin the herd early on?
The ONLY time I would ever be unkind to a man who wrote me is if I get the following:
"Hey, wanna ****?"
"Wut's up?"
"How u doin?"
"I'm horny, wanna play?"
Unfortunately, it seems that a lot of women get these. I'm assuming you don't send these types of messages (or at least, I hope not!), but maybe some women have their backs up because of these.
Or maybe there are women who are like some men...they think "there's got to be something better around the bend!"
Maybe they're the female version of "players"...the fact is, you can't lump all women together, just like I can't lump all men together. So unfair. | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/17/2007 8:19:20 AM | A.S.K said:-
"The only difference is that I don't care if I find a woman, if she's going to be the wrong women. I'd rather be alone than waste my time being something I'm not."
That's a very good point. A lot of truth in that! | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/17/2007 8:28:56 AM | Savanna1 said:-
You're not doing anything wrong she just didnt fancy you / want a relationship with you..
That "friendship" thing...? Come on it takes time and shared life to be a real friend.... Your were not "friends" before you met - And a friendship with a man who wants more?? - That's not likely to happen either under the circumstances is it?
... She was simply trying to be polite about saying she just wasnt interested in you in that way...
But you knew that really didn't you.....Hmmmm??
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Hi Savanna1,
Yes you are obviously correct. However you cannot get to know someone from one meeting. I remember I felt the same way at school when girls wouldn't leave me alone. I just wanted to do my studies and wasn't interested at the time.
However, I have known a younger girl for the past 18 months. We've been a lot of places together. I made a great friend out of her. Unfortunately she keeps choosing boyfriends who ill treat her and take advantage of her and obviously only want her for one thing. That's her problem though. | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/17/2007 8:37:59 AM | You know what I have finally figured out in life. And not just about women. It's this--you have to fiure yourself out first. You have to spend time with yourself and find out what makes you happy, how to find happiness in yourself.
I lived on my own since I was 18. There was short times when I was living with a girl but for the most part I lived with myself. And the one thing I have learned is that all the friends in the world and you still have to come home and see the same person in the mirror every nite. There are a lot of lonely nites, but I finally learned what I want from a women, and what I want from myself.
I have comprimized myself to the point that my sister didn't even know who I was. But you get lonely, and want a companion. And guess what, I'm still single
The only difference is that I don't care if I find a woman, if she's going to be the wrong women. I'd rather be alone than waste my time being something I'm not.
Here's someone who finally figured out how to get the smoke to clear. I had to post it again in its entirety. THIS is the way to confidence, happiness and getting the most out of life. He realizes single isn't a death sentence, it's a time to reflect and enjoy life, and improve yourself in case you do meet someone you like; you might as well strive be content with yourself. It makes you better relationship material if/when one does present itself right? | |
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| Why are girls so heartless?
Posted: 5/17/2007 8:38:43 AM |
I am not a fan at all. I used to maintain a website for a radio station that carried his broadcast and after listening once, I found it sickening. I consider a man who listens to Tom Leykis and likes it, to be a big red flag. So will most emotionally healthy women who learn what he espouses. So sure, let them all know, women included. Make my day.
And this does not surprise me at all since you have nothing to gain but a lot to loose given his tenets. After all, his show is targeted to males in their 20s. You can say whatever you want, but for a male in his early to mid 20s, his advice should be taken seriously. To that end and since you are a little familiar with the topics covered, please tell me which one of the tenets that a young male (and even female) in his/her 20s should not follow? Also tell me now these tenets are not applicable to all the “nice” guys out there who feel that they are getting trampled and ignored. After all, you get what you ask for don’t you! | |
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