| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/15/2007 6:58:11 AM | First of all, there's NOTHING wrong with dating someone younger than you. My sister's in her 40's, and her boyfriend is in his 20's---only a couple of years older than her eldest child--and I can honestly say (along with our entire family, including all of her children) he treats her with more love and respect than any guy her own age that she's ever been involved with. And he's not her "boy toy," he's her boyfriend--they're very happy together, despite the stares and mean comments they sometimes get. So don't let the narrow-minded age-ism of others put you off.
That being said.....If I were you, I would have SERIOUS reservations if the young man involved is your best friend's son. There's too much of a mess-in-waiting---say you two seriously got involved and it didn't work out. That would create serious friction and uncomfortable situations between you, the son and your friend. I know she means well, but maybe you better tell her to step off and leave your personal life alone. It's none of her business anyway. (Not that I would say it like that--you definitely should be a lot nicer about it, but it sounds to me like she's a bit of a busybody. It's not her concern who you date). Tell them both thanks but no thanks. | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/15/2007 7:10:12 AM | Why does the theme song from the Graduate suddenly go through my head?
IMHO there's nothing wrong with checking it out... but if you feel it's too weird from the beginning, it probably is... | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/15/2007 7:17:03 AM | I think if you were going to "date" or just share each other's company and life experiences, you'll do fine. Knowing it likely won't last, and bringing sex into the equation will make things SO awkward for you and your friend, especially because you'll be seeing this guy all the time.
The mother has to be a little odd for suggesting her kid date her friend though.
Take it for what it's worth. Dating him should be fine, but if the both of you are just in it for sex and then be done with it, you'll regret everything later. That is if you plan to keep your friendship without awkwardness. | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/15/2007 8:01:17 AM | "If you're going to do bad things with little boys, do them with the ones who's mother's you don't know".
C'mon, the guy is 21 not 12 - at what age is one no longer a little boy?
Wait - don't answer that. | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/15/2007 9:07:20 AM | I don't think this is so much about the age issue.
I mean if you want to date someone younger...go for it.
But this is the son of your best friend...that would be my reason for saying NO.
There are lines...and some you just don't cross.
Thats some sort of crazy friendship you have going there. | |
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dpd22
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Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 31 | |
| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/15/2007 9:24:24 AM | I think the age difference and dating your friend's son are 2 separate issues. Suppose the woman was 35, her friend is 48, and her friend's son is 30. It will still be awkward to date her friend's son even though the age difference would be only 5 years.
I would have SERIOUS reservations if the young man involved is your best friend's son.There's too much of a mess-in-waiting---say you two seriously got involved and it didn't work out. That would create serious friction and uncomfortable situations between you, the son and your friend.
I agree with this completely.
If she was interested in a younger man that isn't her friend's son, then give it a shot. Some women might be more compatible with younger men than men around their age. | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/15/2007 12:11:04 PM | Veryfine,
There was a movie many years ago, say 10, about this exact topic. A woman, about 40-ish, starts dating/fooling around with, her best female friends 18 year old son.
A quagmire to say the least. | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/15/2007 12:26:33 PM | OP: To be even asking, makes you seem uncomfortable with this idea. I would go with your gut feeling. It is risky to have the friendship on the line if the attempt doesn't work out, can risk losing the friend over this as they will likely side with their son then.
I wouldn't attempt to risk things like that if you value the friend. I would pass on that. It may seem ok to consider being 36 and the son is 21, but look ahead when you are 46 and he is 31, then to 56 and he is 41, etc. EITHER he could leave you for a YOUNGER woman it he hits a midlife crisis OR you could end up being seen similar to Harold and Maude at some point..well, not as bad a difference as that where she seemed to be his grandmother, but you get the idea. What is there to gain in the long run with that gap? Odds seem against it. | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/15/2007 12:36:31 PM | | why is it sick and perverted to date someone 15 years younger than you. Or is it because he's her best friends son. As long as he's not under age shouldn't be anything wrong with it age is just a number he maybe more mature than the older men she's dated. | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/15/2007 3:07:31 PM | OMG are you for real?????? Not only do I think you've got issues for even considering to date your best friend's son but I think she's mentally ill for even soliciting her son to you. The age gap isn't the issue here, it's your best friend's son for God's sake!!! So what are you going to do if things were to become intimate with him ... go and tell your best friend how good or bad her son was in bed????? Of allllllll the men that are available on this site you are considering your best friend's son??? Just when I thought I heard it all this one by far has topped the cake!!!! | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/15/2007 3:25:22 PM | | OP, if he wasn't your best friend's son then go for it. But since he is, well...let me put it this way..Do you want your best friend to hear about the sexual exploits between you and her own son? The guy is 21 and is going to blab about it. | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/15/2007 3:31:52 PM | | My reaction is ew, because my best friend would feel like a sister but how you feel should dictate what you do. Heartbandit has a good point and ask yourself if you will be comfortable if your best friend is your mother-in-law. | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/15/2007 4:19:14 PM | as has been said.. this is not about age..
I've been with younger guys and all have been good experiences for both of us. Some were "teaching" experiences and some were romantic.. But NONE were my best friends child.
I'll tell you.. I was aquainted with the mother of one of the "romantic" relationships.. it didn't go over real well.. at all.. she still hates me and says rude and awful things about me to everyone she can.. She will always see me as the cougar who violated her child. (um.. for the record.. he was well legal.) It isn't pretty.
don't go there.
tell him you are flattered, but given the relationship you have with his mom.. NO. | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/15/2007 5:30:36 PM | Oh God - do it- hahhahhaha!!
I would do it and have done it in a heartbeat-
he may be the best thing to happen to you - for now-
The best friend thing - if she gives you the blessing - everyone
here seems to be grossed out by it-LOL!!-
Shit , do it - tommorrow is another day - okay Im a bad girl-
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/15/2007 11:02:05 PM | [As for his mother, she must think that both of you are something *very special* for her to consider letting the two of you date. After all, you are both VERY special to her.]-wanderer1999
If you find you cannot think of him, other than as your friend's son, it won't work. You need to try & open your mind,
to the possibilities. Lots of age-disparate couples, work out very well. Let your heart decide.
The only thing you should concern yourself with, age-related, is the possibility of kids. Does he want kids, ever? At your
age, is it still possible? You don't want to cheat him, out of one of the most wonderful experiences in life, that would be
very selfish. If that isn't an issue, go for it, if you decide you want to. | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/16/2007 3:18:45 PM |
The only thing you should concern yourself with, age-related, is the possibility of kids. Does he want kids, ever? At your
age, is it still possible? You don't want to cheat him, out of one of the most wonderful experiences in life, that would be
very selfish. If that isn't an issue, go for it, if you decide you want to. One date does not USUALLY a bed-mate make, nor does it even mean that they end up as anything other than friends. 
If there are no obstacles in your way, go. I'd probably do it just for the curiosity factor. Yeah, that's it - the curiosity factor.
Annudder | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/16/2007 3:27:14 PM | | You will lose your best friend!! No matter how hot he is, no matter how tempted you are, do NOT do it.. You will have to wait until your best friend is dead! She will not accept you sleeping with her son | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/16/2007 3:34:54 PM | It's sick and perverted. Don't go there. Period.
How is that sick and perverted?
Get off your straight-laced, high horse!
There have been MANY successful relationships between a younger man and an older woman.
If you want examples just look at:
Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon
Madonna and her husband
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore
Those are just well known examples and that's why I used them.
OP if you remember anything I tell you remember this:
"AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER. AGE DOES NOT DICTATE ONE'S LEVEL OF KNOWLEDGE, MATURITY NOR EXPERIENCE"
- CUPID
Update
As for: That being said.....If I were you, I would have SERIOUS reservations if the young man involved is your best friend's son. There's too much of a mess-in-waiting---say you two seriously got involved and it didn't work out. That would create serious friction and uncomfortable situations between you, the son and your friend. I know she means well, but maybe you better tell her to step off and leave your personal life alone.
While this may be wise advice, as it can happen. So can the very opposite.
People thinking this way (negatively) however, are also limiting potential oppertunities.
If everyone listened everytime they were told "don't do it there may be bad consequences" just think how LESS far, mankind would have gotten.
Ultimately it's up to you. You may not want to take the chance as your friendship MAY be in jeopardy; however it may not be. If your friend is mature enough, then she'll be wise enough to know that not everyone is compatible, and if you 2 break up she won't hold it against you.
If she's a true friend she won't.
Always try and look at things through various perspectives.
As I said, what was mentioned above MAY happen.
BUT......what if you 2 went out, really hit it off and things worked out where you bothed ended up in a relationship; possibly even leading to marriage!
You will never know the outcome had you not given it a chance.
just my humble 2 cents! | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/16/2007 3:50:02 PM | First, you might want to run that by his mum, to see how she feels about it. If she's okay with it then woo hoo, you go, girl, literally (if you like him).
I'll never forget the first time I chided my son with "Just think, in the year 2012 you'll be old enough for me to date your friends." He went nuts...Still does! HA! | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/16/2007 3:59:42 PM | If it was a 36 year old man and a 21 year old woman, it would not a subject for a thread.
This country is so boringly uptight. Go for it- live life- just try not to mutilate anyone in the process. | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/16/2007 4:08:23 PM | Okay...from the OP about her friend:
I was surprised to hear that she not only thinks this is ok, she is the one who suggested it. Who missed reading that?
Annudder | |
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| Help!!!! My Best Friend's Son Just Asked Me Out
Posted: 5/16/2007 4:11:14 PM | First, those who are responding to this by saying that it is "sick" or "perverted" or "wrong" in any way have mental problems. Who the heck are they to tell YOU that anything YOU choose to do is wrong? What is with these people who suddenly decide that THEY get to be the arbiter of morals, values, ethics, or mores for anyone else? Why is it that people who are having no fun, always want everyone else to not have any either? Go for it!
Honey, if you want to go out with this guy, then you go. In fact I would encourage you to at least give it a chance! Why do people put so many limits on themselves? Did it ever occur to you that this one guy might actually be "the one" for you? If you just arbitrarily decide to nix this because of his age, then you are pricing yourself right out of the market.
Take him out, show him the time of your lives, and if it suits you, cook him a breakfast he'll never forget the next morning. Don't let a soul try to discourage you. You're the one who has to have the fun, not them.
Good luck, and tell us how the date went! | |
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