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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 *~*Red Queen II*~*
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 26
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I find it very interesting on how people can treat you based on appearances, especially when it comes to your weight. I had lost over 57 pound in this past year and am still losing. I was the easy-going, happy-go-lucky gal before my weight loss and still am afterwards. I treat others with the same respect no matter what thier appearances were.

Especially in the workplace, I noticed a huge difference in the way a few co-workers had treated me before my weight loss and afterwards. There was a select few who were just downright rude towards me! Once my appearance had changed, so did thier reaction. All of a sudden, they're more polite, etc. Because of this, I had learned to never trust people who are two-faced & shallow.

Why do people make assumptions on others based on appearances?
I think it's because Society has allowed themselves to be brainwashed from The Media (TV, Magazines, Movies,etc) that the absolute standard of Beauty is a certain bodytype/weight, hair/eye/skin colour, socio-economic status, material possesions, etc. We are made to think that if we don't possess these "Beauty Standards" then we should do everything we can to be "Beautiful".

God Forbid that if we don't have the "right" weight/bodytype, the "right" designer clothes/accessories, the "right" education for that "right" job, drive that "right" car, live in the "right" house in the "right neighbourhoods", we're seen as "Ugly" and there must be something wrong with us if we don't measure up.
I THINK NOT!!

Remember the Murderers Paul Bernardo & Karla Holmoka? They had all the traits of a "Beautiful/Handsome" people: Blonde, etc, nicely dressed in those "right" designer clothes, had that "right" jobs, drove that "right" car, had the "right" house, etc.

Appearances are DECIEVING!!
People ought to Think very hard before they decide to judge/treat/react to others based on appearances.
 trailertrashh
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 27
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/16/2007 6:24:45 AM
I can say no with a very clean conscience. I really enjoy all types of people and have learned something from all of them. I have a dear dear friend who is a priest and lots of biker buddies. I was never in a "group" myself or can I be stereotyped. I have dated the spectrum from doctors to tattoo artists. Inside matter more.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 28
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/16/2007 9:21:03 AM
Actually, you can judge a book by it's cover if you like.. thing is.. you'll probably get it wrong, so why bother.

Anyway... yes.. if I see a hottie, I then decree: "Wooot, what a hottie!" either out loud or to myself. What? You've never said someone was hot louder than you'd planned before? Pfff... liar.

So, I guess that's a judgment of sorts, but that's about as judgments go until I have more data.
 EC22
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 29
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/16/2007 9:24:51 AM
There is a difference between not finding someone attractive and mistreating someone because of their looks.
 HappyChick2007
Joined: 5/11/2007
Msg: 30
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/16/2007 9:30:53 AM
No! i firstly judge if im attracted to them.. no matter how presented they are, then i become more attracted once i know the person within
 romanticoptimist
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 31
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/17/2007 6:31:38 PM

What I find interesting is that you seem to be judging those you portray as judging others -- kinda sharp stick, isn't it? :-)

What I find interesting is the fact that you didn't read his post correctly. You only saw the words, " Church goer " and automatically poked him with that sharp stick of yours.


You have no idea what I only saw. I read the whole sentence. It is clear that he was referring to more than a single person, even quite possibly a hypothetical one. Emphasising an "a" doesn't change that.

Anyway, his logic is out of whack. The "pictures' of Jesus are not. They are the imagination of the picture creator. There is no evidence that Jesus looked like those pictures, making his point quite.. well, pointless.
 freebird6333
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 32
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Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/17/2007 7:44:30 PM
Let me make this a little easier for you then, the fact that they are putting a picture with this look is irrelevant to what he actually looked like, this is what they believe and represent. So my point is the hypocrisy of it all, they worship an image that they find offensive in people, whether it is one church goer or a thousand that is my point. And because I use the term church goer in no way dilutes my belief, again it is the hypocrisy. And who gets to determine what is long hair Paul did'nt give us an exact measurement. And if memory serves me Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy and a lot of other infamous criminals looked very clean cut, actually that is one of the ways they gained peoples trust. Oh, and by the way is short hair on women offensive since we are picking random lines from the bible in Timothy it tells women to adorn themselves in a certain manner, so with that reasoning in mind how do you feel about the way they look. This thread has proven my point, people think that their version of what people should look like is right and if people don't fit their mold then let's throw scripture at them. And let's not forget Jesus's famous quote, " let those without sin cast the first stone. " it's a good thing for Mary Magdeline that some of the perfect people around today were'nt alive then it would have changed the entire meaning of the scripture. I mean using scripture as a weapon is just great, instead of the kindness and love, along with forgiveness Jesus preached about.
 guynamejeff
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 33
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/17/2007 8:18:34 PM
I must have missed the post where someone used scripture as a weapon. Even after reading the thread many times, I just can't see it.

I do recall one poster stating that Paul would not have been critical of long hair if Christ had long hair, but that certainly was not an attack. He was just backing his claim that Christ probably did not have long hair. That's all.

Also, I really hope no Christians are worshiping an image. That would be completely unbiblical.

Your long hair is alright by me. I'm sure you know that it comes with social challenges, but that is something you are free to embrace.
 ecaepydal
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 34
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/17/2007 8:51:11 PM
Not so much...

For everyday folk, I am aware that good things come in an assortment of packages.

For a lover, I'm really looking for the evolved soul with the 'heart of gold', a thinker and a progressive being, a fearless pioneer, who isn't a slave to the status quo...(Eeee Gad, my romantic is showing).

If they're all that, I will see nothing but beauty.
 crv71
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 35
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/17/2007 9:20:03 PM
My pet peeve is not being judged by my looks, hell i can actually respect a woman that looks at me and says "i'm sorry i just don't find you attractive" that's cool. I'll find another one that does, thanks for having a drink with me.

I can't stand a woman that hasn't even seen or met me going please don't write me unless your in the thin or atheltic catagories because i need the TV version of good looking and nothing less will suffice. Your going to be my armpiece throphy so you better stay that way too! That is shallow and pathetic.

Think about it... I won't hire you for the job no matter what your qualifications are if your any of the following: I'm sorry it's just my preferance please don't be offended!

overwieght,
innsufficent height,
have a facial scar,
have a concealible tattoo,
female!

For some reason we would never accept these things in a face to face day to day senerio but here within the anonimity of the internet, all racial and predudical baisis are aloud or at least tolerated, under the 'i know what i like'

I may not find you attractive, but i won't rule you out BEFORE i see/meet you.

--chris
 Change Of Pace
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 36
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Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/17/2007 10:11:07 PM
I wouldn't call it judgemental, but I think it's human nature--at least mine--to come to certain conclusions about people. It's what you do after that that matters...if you stick to that conclusion and don't give the person a chance (if you have involvement with them) then I think that's when being judgmental comes to play.
 engineeringemo
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 37
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/17/2007 10:37:16 PM
The statesman Cicero had a problem when he went into politics. Everyone kept telling him to change his name. You see, his name sounded horrible in old Roman (Kikero), and it meant "Chick pea", because one of his ancestors had a misshapen nose. It was an ignoble name. A terrible name.

Cicero said, "No, I'm not going to change my name. My name will become great because I will become great."

And that's exactly what he did.

The lesson here is that it doesn't matter, in the end, what you look like, or sound like, or anything. What matters is what you do with yourself. Two men may look exactly the same, but when one is great and one is useless, the one who is great will look great, and the way he looks will become the definition of great, and the one who is useless will look useless, and the way he looks will become useless.
 mystlw
Joined: 9/19/2005
Msg: 38
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Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/17/2007 10:51:19 PM

Two men may look exactly the same, but when one is great and one is useless, the one who is great will look great, and the way he looks will become the definition of great, and the one who is useless will look useless, and the way he looks will become useless.


Two words that disprove your theory: Paris Hilton. A thoroughly useless person, whom the overwhelminly male media has, for reasons beyond my realm of comprehension, instated as the definition of great beauty.

However, I believe that most people will always judge others, in some way, by their own standards of attractiveness, which varies from person to person.
 CoverMeinXoXo
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 39
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/17/2007 10:53:26 PM
Im pretty sure there are people who try not to judge, but more likely everyone including myself (yes Im willing to admit it) judge people. Natural Selection. Its within our nature (as crappy as it is) to judge others. At least thats the way I see it.
 piratress
Joined: 5/8/2007
Msg: 40
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/17/2007 11:04:36 PM

i know we cant judge a book by its cover, but, i admit i would be put off by tattooes,body peircings dirty scraggy hair
----------------------------------------------------
I agree, I feel the same way about a woman.


OMG. I think this thread should go down in history as the bridge which puts to end the premise that 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'.

When the same physical attributes can be applicable for non attraction to both genders, we are making major headway. Inking/body piercing, etc.
That was a good comeback. Women don't realize how repulsive it can be to some men...just as it is to some women.

Oh... and the thing about Jesus with long hair (I'm saying this even though I do like long hair on a guy..so this is an unbiased opinion forthcoming). It is true. Look at the carvings made back in the time of Jesus - of the men of his generation and locale. The norm was not long hair on men. It was approx. to the bottom of the earlobe or shorter. Of course, with Jesus' Nationality, it is also erronous to portray him with white skin. He was neither light nor dark... more of a light cocoa color. Probably no more than 5'9 - 10" or so.. maybe shorter.

Me, personally, I do look at the facial features of a man first as that is what I see upon first glance...in person ... that is. But, he must have intelligence in the 'common sense' department for the attraction to go past a nano second of thought.

I keep myself in decent shape weight wise and prefer the same in a partner. If I can keep myself petite, the man should be able to stay in decent (not perfect by any means) shape.
 britcitusa
Joined: 1/24/2006
Msg: 41
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/17/2007 11:12:27 PM
There are so many who judge others.even before getting to know them.To me,it is so pathetic and,ridiculous. Individuality is what makes every human on this planet.

"Walk A Mile In My Shoes"

(As recorded by Joe South)
JOE SOUTH

If I could be you and you could be me for just one hour
If we could find a way to get inside each other's mind
If you could see me through your eyes instead of your ego
I believe you'd be surprised to see that you'd been blind.

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
And before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes.

Now your whole world you see around you is just a reflection
And the law of common says you reap just what you sow
So unless you've lived a life of total perfection
You'd better be careful of every stone that you throw.

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
And before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes.

And yet we spend the day throwing stones at one another
'Cause I don't think or wear my hair the same way you do
Well I may be common people but I'm your brother
And when you strike out and try to hurt me its a-hurtin' you.

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
And before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes.

There are people on reservations and out in the ghettos
And brother there but for the grace of God go you and I
If I only had the wings of a little angel
Don't you know I'd fly to the top of the mountain, and then I'd cry.

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
And before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes, shoes.

(c) Copyright 1969 by Lowery Music Co., Inc.

- SONG HITS, Summer 1974
 engineeringemo
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 42
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/17/2007 11:14:10 PM


Two words that disprove your theory: Paris Hilton. A thoroughly useless person, whom the overwhelminly male media has, for reasons beyond my realm of comprehension, instated as the definition of great beauty.


What are you talking about? She's rich, and has managed to parley her meagre power as the heiress of a chain of hotels into a much, much, much more powerful media image. If she appears ditzy, it's because she wants to look ditzy because it will advance her fame and power.

No, make no mistake, Paris is no flash in the pan. She may not look it, but she was born and bred to control the world, and the media defining her ugly mug and beauty is happening exactly because she's greater than people give her credit for.
 trs1958
Joined: 10/28/2006
Msg: 43
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/17/2007 11:55:55 PM

I do recall one poster stating that Paul would not have been critical of long hair if Christ had long hair, but that certainly was not an attack. He was just backing his claim that Christ probably did not have long hair. That's all.

That was me Jeff, and you are correct, it certainly was not an attack against anyone. Was just merely a comment in reference to the picture thing, nothing more.

And I do agree with freebird about the hypocrisy thing. I'm not sure why any Christian family would have a picture like that if they gave the subject any thought at all (scripturally speaking). Actually, I think that a very large percentage of them don't even realize the significance of it. I never really thought about it myself until it was pointed out to me just a couple of years ago, and my dad was a minister all of his adult life so I grew up with it. Most all church going people are clean cut people (at least from what I've seen all my life), yet a lot of them have these pictures (graven images) of Jesus hanging in their house. I have nothing against guys with long hair, one of my bosses has hair way down past his shoulders and he's a great guy and a dear friend.

But it does seem a little strange that they...people who try to follow the teachings of their Bible...don't give that verse a second thought.

I know this isn't the religious forum and I am by no means trying to turn it into one. And I think the subject is a good point in the discussion of being judgmental because of looks.

We are all somewhat judgmental about someone's looks whether we mean to be or not. Of course there's a big difference between seeing someone and THINKING "oh my gosh ewwwww"...and seeing someone and yelling "dang you're ugly!" I would never be mean or disrespectful to anyone because of their looks but I wouldn't date someone who I didn't find attractive. And in a sense that's judging.
 Anobody
Joined: 8/23/2006
Msg: 44
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/18/2007 2:58:33 AM
"""What always gets me is when a " Church goer " shuns a man with long hair and a goatee or beard but..."""

Church people are some off the most screwed up people I've ever met, people with head issues are drawn to that type of thing...

"""Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ? """

Yes can't be helped, it's not like I would say alot of the things I'm thinking but often wonder stuff about people like the idiot waiting at the bus stop like what is his mental handicap or the fat lady at mcdonalds you shouldn't be here lady...etc etc
 maryrachelle
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 45
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/18/2007 3:05:30 AM
Freebird how does someone just not being attracted to your look make them hypocritical ?? I do not find long hair ,tattoos and piercings offensive i just do not find them attractive. It does not offend me when i see someone with long hair ,tattoos and piercings so why would you say that?I think this is nothing more then another"woe is me women do not find me attractive" thread. Not everyone is going to find you attractive . Just like you are not going to be attracted to everyone else.
 Anobody
Joined: 8/23/2006
Msg: 46
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/18/2007 3:07:48 AM
"""It does not offend me when i see someone with long hair ,tattoos and piercings so why would you say that?"""

Of course it doesn't offend you but I'm sure you still judge them look at all the piercing on that guy he must be gay or that tatoo'd guy must like rock music...
 maryrachelle
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 47
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/18/2007 4:03:06 AM
^^^^ No i would say to myself " that is unattractive to me". There is a big difference between being offended by how someone looks and just not being attracted to their look. Judging people is what EVERYONE does. When you look at someone you judge " do i think they are attractive" . When you meet someone you judge" would this person make a good friend". If you own a business and someone came in for an interview you would judge whether or not they get the job based on their qualifications. Making a judgement is just forming an opinion. If we could not form opinions nothing would ever get done. We would lay in bed all day wondering if we should get up or not . The kind of judgement you are talking about is if i were to say to myself" he has tattoos and long hair so he must be a bad guy" I would like to think that i have a little more sense then that to judge someone badly for no good reason.
 -SweetHeart-
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 48
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/18/2007 4:16:43 AM

Just wondering how many people out there judge people right away because a person has long hair or tattoo's, or the way a person dresses.


Yes. I'm a sucker for a well dressed man. Men who look like slobs need to take a course. I walk down the street and see a woman with blonde hair and brown routes wearing duckies, and I'm like - whooo lady look in the mirror. My 2 cents worth - I'm judgemental big time *shrugs*
 Girlflower
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 49
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/18/2007 4:59:07 AM
I think in my head.. Beauty is only skin deep! It's the person who counts. All Cats are grey in the Dark!

Maybe when I was younger it was the status of a good looking boyfriend but as I've aged it is the Man I'm more interested in. I read a profile and if the guy says he's "retired" I want to know From What? Afterall he spent the majority of his life performing a job... will his conversations be interesting? I look for substance in a person... what are they made of.... when you're old and saggy, grey haired, teeth falling out (lol) ..it will be if he's the type of man I'll want to be with till the end of time together..... As for Long Hair.. beard... my generation unleashed that on the world in the 60's. It's a fashion statement...that's all! Tattoos are a fashion statement now, especially for women.... my lingering fashion statement is my long hair and peirced once ears and lack of tattoos..... go figure! Sure I gave up the flowers in my hair and my love beads....lol.

Beauty is fleeting.... it's what's inside that counts for me.... what you drive or live in or whatever.. will never be more important to me than who you Are! Really Are! Life is too short to waste it on a vacumn..... never eliminate someone based solely on looks....

For Message 23.. GROW UP!!!!

"Most women on POF are really shallow, materialistic, unrealistic, attention seekers.

Don't worry if you get shun by women on a dating website, you're probably worth much more than that, and don't need this silly low end confidence wrecker."

Hey Dude don't know about the other Ladies on Here but this not a portrait of ME!!!

Going in dating land.
 anna_nimmidy
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 50
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/18/2007 5:08:00 AM
I learned many years ago, when my nephew started dressing goth not to judge people based on their looks. He is intelligent, funny, loving, creative, adores kids...the list goes on. He was judge and abused by others because of his choice of expression. They had no idea of the person behind the black...that he would help an old lady across the street. Rescue a kitten out of a tree. Put his arm around someone who was crying and comfort them. Play ring around the rosie with his passel of little cousins.

The word judge , according to merriam webster means ..." to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises. " Just looking at one, and developing an opinion based on their looks is not to judge, (in my understanding) but to develop a view of that person. Hopefully most of us will look past that "view" and stick around to actually weigh the evidence. None of us are perfect...some of us have exterior imperfections, some have interior imperfections...but most of us have both.

I do understand there is a difference when considering a life partner, or just another human being. I agree that we need to be attracted to a person, but I believe that attraction can increase once you get to know the person. I'm a sucker for an optimist with a sense of humor, no matter the packaging.
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