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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?      Home login  
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 trs1958
Joined: 10/28/2006
Msg: 101
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Paul was not with Jesus "quite a bit"! Re-read Acts and think of the timeline. Paul doesn't even come into the picture until after he starts persecuting Christians for teaching that Jesus had risen from the dead. Not "weill rise", but "has risen". That means Paul's activities are AFTER Jesus death and resurrection.

You are absolutely correct and I apologize for speaking before thinking...which is usually something I try not to do. But I still believe that Paul wouldn't have spoke about it in his teachings if men had long hair during that time. And as I stated, I do not judge men with long hair either. I have lots of friends with long hair and are great guys. The point of whether a guy with long hair can be a Christian or not wasn't even the issue that freebird (nor I) was making. Only the fact that most all of the images (including movies) that man has depicted as Jesus shows a man with long hair...which I personally believe would be inaccurate. Paul only stated that it was a shame, he did not say that it would keep a person from Heaven. It's also true too that there is no reference as to what is considered long as someone else stated. It's just yet another interpretation that each individual has to make for themselves.
 gogobearto
Joined: 4/7/2007
Msg: 102
Yes, I do...by all the criteria and more....because...
Posted: 5/19/2007 4:21:10 PM
...how you dress and carry yourself is a reflection of who you are.

Now..."you" should of course not think that reflection is negative...it is who you are and presumably you chose this persona of your own free will. But it is a reflection.

No doubt many tattooed long hair blue jean and t-shirt types have judged me over the years....and I would be willing to guess that in most cases their judgments are at least partially right.

To be clear...if you mean by "judge" we are talking about negative aspersions against a persons character...that would be wrong. A long haired tattoo type of guy is no more likely to be a criminal (blue collar) than I am to be a criminal (white collar). And this same rule could be applied to virtually all negative assumptions.

That said...yeah, it isn't likely that we are going to like traveling in the same crowd and enjoy the same things...for the simple reason that if he were like me he'd be dressed / carry himself more like me...and vice versa.
 Ms_Behaving
Joined: 3/27/2007
Msg: 103
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/19/2007 6:27:54 PM
OP says:


don't have the time or care enough to stir any pot,...


OP, you started this thread and to me it sounds like you have a huge chip on your shoulder about real or perceived discrimination and judgements against you (given what you've said in this and other threads). And you are stirring the pot! It sounds like you're looking for sympathy, of which you'll get little to none from me. You bring up the subject then you get all defensive! If you don't want to know peoples' opinions you shouldn't ask.

Who cares if you have long hair or tats? Given the responses on here it seems like nobody but you! People are going to judge you or they're not. Why do you care? Let it go. You can't please everybody all the time. You've made yourself happy by getting your tats and growing your hair long and that's what counts. You don't have to defend your decisions regarding them to anyone. Don't make other peoples' problems your problem. Ask yourself: Why does it bother you so much if someone rejects you because of a real or preceived judgement about your appearance? Tell yourself "Their loss." and move on... It is OK to march to your own drummer along with the millions of other people who have long hair and tattoos and piercings, etc.! You're unique... just like everybody else!
 SpeaksHerMind
Joined: 12/21/2006
Msg: 104
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/19/2007 7:41:33 PM
i think that people like that are the most interestring
 freebird6333
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 105
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History
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/19/2007 7:44:49 PM
Again, this is not just about but people in general. People judge other people not only for their appearance but also the color of their skin or as has been mentioned their weight, and again the question is do you judge people becuse of this. Do you judge someone who has an afro, or certain types of clothing etc. Totally not just about me but a statement of this world, I mean since 9/11 Middle Eastern people are judged because of the way they look, since the people who attacked us were of Middle Eastern descent everywhere you turned they were discriminated against. If some people saw someone in a turban they would judge them because they chose to wear an article of clothing, it is the same for all people just because a person is differnent it does'nt justify in anyway any form of discrimination. And by the way I really don't need any sympathy I really don't care for it. And the opinion I have asked has been continually twisted.
 Cort1295
Joined: 12/26/2006
Msg: 106
Yes, I do...by all the criteria and more....because...
Posted: 5/19/2007 8:03:52 PM

That said...yeah, it isn't likely that we are going to like traveling in the same crowd and enjoy the same things...for the simple reason that if he were like me he'd be dressed / carry himself more like me...and vice versa.


I don't know about that. Everyone is different in their own right, so just because they dress differently, listen to different music, read different books, like different movies, or have different taste in some other random area, it doesn't necessarily suggest that you'll lack common ground with them in something else.

Granted, that's just going by personal experience. For example, just a swift glance at your profile shows me that you have a number of things in common with me, a 21 year old kid who's happiest in a pair of jeans, a hoody, a studded belt, and a fitted t-shirt.
 Ms_Behaving
Joined: 3/27/2007
Msg: 107
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/19/2007 8:43:05 PM
Well, to get this thread back to your opening post, OP. You said:


<div class='quote'> Just wondering how many people out there judge people right away because a person has long hair or tattoo's, or the way a person dresses. My personal experience shows me that is so. What always gets me is when a " Church goer " shuns a man with long hair and a goatee or beard but on their wall is a picture of Jesus who by physical appearance would fit perfectly into the 60's and 70's.

So, going by what you said, and the fact that you have long hair and tattoos I would say that this opening post is about you and the fact that you don't like it when people judge you because of the long hair, your tats and the way you look. Your opening post had nothing to do with Muslims and how they're discriminated against since 9/11 based on how they look. Muslims may or may not be discriminated on since 9/11 because some al Qaeda terrorists who also happen to be extremist Muslims murdered several thousand American citizens in one fell swoop, not because of the way they look/dress! Gimme a break, puhleeeeze!!! Don't try to change the subject. From what I've seen/read so far and as far as you're concerned, this thread is all about you, freebird6333 !
 jerrybracken2
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 108
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/19/2007 8:50:25 PM
I just wandered what one considers clean? i use to have long hair, but recently cut it short, and I had a beard but now have a short goatee. To me, clean is taking a bath everyday, not having long hair, a tattoo, or facial hair.
 jerrybracken2
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 109
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/19/2007 8:53:05 PM
And to answer the main question, I have to be pysically attracted to the person to date them but it isn't all about looks. What a person has inside really helps outer looks (well to me anyhow but not everyone). I talk to everyone who is interested or messages me. You never know where true love may lie as long as you aren't too superficial about only looks.
 The Single Woman
Joined: 2/12/2007
Msg: 110
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/19/2007 9:08:26 PM
Not all people will be attracted to you. Is it judgment or merely not feeling any chemisty?? Personally, I find beards to be old fashioned and long hair on a guy is just plain freaky. Another women might feel totally turned on by the exact grooming features that turn me off. It isn't a judgment, just that with human nature attraction is and always has been highly subjective!


 christine021768
Joined: 8/6/2006
Msg: 111
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/19/2007 9:12:43 PM
its human nature to judge by looks, i mean come on.........if u had Medusa standing beside pam anderson...........we all know who u would choose............or if it were male...........shrek or tom cruise.......(((tom cruise sux really ha ha)))) come on everyone......i dont care what we all say in here we all judge people by many different ways. I will freely admit looks play a part in it yes, but i have also gone out on dates iwth some males who werent gifted in teh look department just to give them a shot and unfortunately no sparks,,,,,,,,all in all humans jdge..........theres no reason for us to spend our time continuously talking about it to make points or try to sway someoens decision.........i personally prefer gotees.......clean nails....smells good.......but find independance......and someone who can do things for them selves alot more attractive..........man guess ill b looking for quite a while tehn ha ha
 freebird6333
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 112
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History
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/19/2007 9:42:06 PM
SorryI did'nt list every single thing that a person could be judgemental about, I guess I made the mother of all assumptions and assumed the question itself was good enough and that, are you judgemental was a broad enough question and I did'nt help you enough by stating the million different things a person could be judgemental about. My statement was just one observance. So let me clarify, Does anyone judge a person because of the way they look including but not limited to ; hair, tattos, skin color, clothes, piercings, streaks dyed in their hair, cowboy hats, baseball hats, sunglasses, wife beater t-shirts, no shoes, sandals, basketball shoes, suits, shorts, no shirts, jeans with rips in them sorry if I have left something off my list that someone has a problem with. Does that help you a little more Ms Behaving. I really don't have any problem with people in general just a question that I thought about actually because I saw the way a friend of mine get treated because of their looks, this is really not about me because I don't care enough about people who are judgemental to let it bother me. I hope that I have cleared this up more for you now. And assuming that this was about me again proves my point about people being judgemental, Pretty high soap box, you must know some people with low self-esteem to think that this whole thread was about me and not just a discussion. Oh, I mean MS BHAVING. Do capitals emphasize or do they seem a little overboard and condescending ? Just wondering.
 onwaves
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 113
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/19/2007 10:53:38 PM
Of course we judge the book by its cover. I need to feel a spark, even a slight one, and that pretty much comes from looking at the outside. Could be a wonderful smile, sexy lips or hairstyle, something small, so someone doesn't have to be a 10. Little tattoos are a plus because that means that she might have a bit of a wild/independent streak. Looking me straight in the eyes is very good because that shows a stronger personality. Clothes showing off her curves somewhat shows a level of confidence. Of course this is general.

Then we start talking..pff... if the lights are on, someone better be home and I test it.
 jerrybracken2
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 114
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/19/2007 11:00:39 PM
Good there onwaves. it isn't that the girl HAS to be a model but there has to be an attraction of some sort. Like you said, a smile, eyes, something that might be little but alot to you. This is at least the way I feel. I know there are some that only want the model looks, without actually looking at the person closley to see what they might have to offer.
 Azure!
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 115
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/19/2007 11:16:22 PM
We truly all are. Appearance is always judged. We normally learn most things from our eyes. That is human nature, or have you honestly ever looked at someone and not judged-- whether good or bad?
So yes I am. But that does not mean I am stereotypical and superficial.
--Kiara
 aquariusgal
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 116
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/20/2007 10:29:09 AM
I understand what the OP is asking, people are thinking right away because of the way a persons looks ..example: long hair and tats.. when first approching this person, some would think right away, he belongs to a biker club or he is a hoodlum..bad news.

Well I don't judge like that anymore because I've met up with some of the nicest people on this planet who dress in many different fashions. When I was much younger, I was judgemental about people who dressed differently, or looked different but now I don't do that anymore.

Its doesn't matter how they are dresses, after a few minutes I have good instints if that person is good or not, they might have a dress suite on, and I'll feel this guts feeling that I really like this person or I don't like this person. I do give the person a chance.

So I don't think I'm being judgemental of the way a person looks.
 kuramas_foxy_rose
Joined: 2/19/2007
Msg: 117
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Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/20/2007 10:48:09 AM
Never... Though when looking through profiles, I look at the traditionally handsome guys last, because the majority of those tend to be the shallower guys... So I guess a bit, but that's more done on general logic for a start than shallowness. I really don't care what they look like, but I like to not be rejected on my own looks, so I start with my head, not my heart- that follows later.
 jerrybracken2
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 118
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/20/2007 11:00:38 AM
Hello Kiara (like that name)

I have actually looked into a girls eyes and fell for her when she wasn't really too attractive. When I stated before about a physical attraction, it could be alot more than thinking I deserve a model as alot of people do. it could be eyes, hair, the way you carry yourself. I know I am not a model and never will be. I am attractive in my own ways. I know what I have inside and the way I carry myself makes me better, but that is just how 'real" people look at it. There are alot of "Barbie Dolls" I have seen on these site and I am very skeptical of them. Nine times out of ten they are games, cons, or pay websites behind them. I know because alot of them have tried to contact me and I just blow them off. Now, the guys that you blew off, did you actually look at them or just blow them off because you "deserve better"? Do you date a guy that looks like a model and when he mistreats you in some way sit and say "all guys are ***holes"?
 Azure!
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 119
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/20/2007 5:10:02 PM
Hi Jerrybracken! I'm glad you like my name, thanks.
Well don't think I will go after guys that look like models because I really won't. I am not like that. What I mean is that I go by appearance-- how people dress, facial expressions, etc.
I did not blow off guys because I think I deserve better. Personally, I don't like tats, too many piercings, huge long shirts and pants, etc. When I see that I relate the appearance with the person's attitude, personality or taste. But I still give them the opportunity to show me that they are nice people, that we have things in common and things like that. I do so by talking to them; if I don't like them then I politely say bye.
I see that you misunderstood me. If a guy mistreats me, I will definitely not generalize by saying that all guys are ***holes. I don't go after "hot" guys. In fact I am attracted to guys that look simply ok (or have something that attract me: smile, eyes, expressions) but have great hearts.
--Kiara
 *NauticalStar*
Joined: 5/15/2007
Msg: 120
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/20/2007 5:45:29 PM
When I meet a guy, especially on here, first thing I notice is his picture. I do however read the profile as well because even though I want to be physically attracted to the man I end up with, his personality and interests etc are also important to me. I find a lot of guys on here(remember I'm only searching for guys) seem to be a little in love with themselves, almost too much. They expect a perfect woman with no flaws or emotions etc. It's funny though. Sometimes the best looking guy can be the biggest ***hole on the planet. People miss out when they expect to find a fantasy partner. If they started living in reality and actually talking to more people they'd find happiness much faster than they will judging people by their looks.
 TigerBlackHawk
Joined: 8/5/2006
Msg: 121
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/20/2007 5:47:05 PM
I just thought of one thing dealing with looks that is a turn off to me. "Piercings."

True, I find some piercings to be okay.. Nipples, ear lobes... Probably only those two period.

But Other Piercings I find makes a person look "Stupid" for lack of explaining it any other way. Several on one or both ears, tongue, lips, nose, eyebrows, even belly button. Those to me are just too excessive and I get this feeling those people have limited intellegence. I don't even want to chat with them.
I know it has nothing to do with intellegence, but to me they subtract from the persons looks. In fact when I Rate women on Hot or Not, I subtract for piercings that takes away from the persons looks. Thus a 10 could end up never getting scored higher than a 7 with me.
And I don't see me dating a woman with a tongue ring or eyebrow pierced.
 Nooralniil
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 122
Personal experience - If anyone cares
Posted: 5/20/2007 5:53:07 PM
OK. Here is a story if anyone cares.
I have always judged on looks. Hot sexy dudes. Which in my definition is short, skinny and dark. This has led me to Islamic extreamists, inmates, and little Korean dudes too scared to tell their family about me.

6 weeks ago I went on an internet date and when the guy walked in... it was like the movies... saw him from across the crowded room, fell in love at first sight. A giant, tall, sexy assed, blond in a suit and looking good. I loved every moment of the date and we quickly became exclusive and intimate.

Here is the weird part, the longer I am with him, the more I realize... he is not a golden athletic model. Is is balding with love handles, hunched shoulders, and lots of body hair. But I am so smitten I find it all adorable.
I just wonder, after decades of judging books by covers and being screwed and used, what psychological defense mechanism allowed me to see him as beautiful until I got to know him, love his personality, and then realize... yeah.. he is not that hot.

But I am soooo happy and he is a super nice guy. Had I been seeing clearly that night (and no, I wasn't drinking) I never would have given him a chance. But some bizarre thing came over me and I thank God every day I didn't judeg him (or wasn't able to) because I am just so friggin happy.
 Happy_Go_Lucky_Lady
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 123
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/21/2007 10:32:18 AM
I agree that as humans we tend to judge someone by how they look, whether it is long hair, tattoos, how they dress, the colour of their skin, their weight, by how they speak . It is an unfortunate part of the human race. People are often intimidated by how people look or act, and don't take the opportunity to get to know that person and know what they are like on the inside.

My best friend of 21 years is a man who used to have long hair and has more tattoos than I can count. Most people are afraid of him and he had a hard time finding a date. He is one of the most caring and giving people I have ever met and I am blessed to have him in my life. I can happily say that he met a woman who looked beyond the cover of his book and they have been happily married for 7 years , and she is treated like a princess as she deserves.

As I stated early, I am often not given a chance because of the fact I carry around some extra weight, again people judge a book by it's cover.

As I am sure we have all been guilty of it at one time or another, it sucks to be on the receiving end of peoples judgements but we can't change how people react, and it is their misfortune to not get to know how good people are. I have met more people that appear to be perfect (in what society deems perfect) on the outside and on the inside they are shallow and uncaring and sometimes mean.

A good book on the inside is better than a book with a perfect cover in my opinion.
 HRWild
Joined: 3/1/2007
Msg: 124
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/21/2007 10:59:11 AM
I am extremely judgemental when it comes to a person's looks. I love long hair on most men (not every man can pull that off).
Honestly, I am repulsed by people who are over weight. I don't mean that everyone should be skinny or muscular, just don't care to be with anyone who is over weight.

I am abhorred by women who walk around with all their "assets" sticking out. There have been times that I've wanted to ask some women why they bother wearing a shirt at all. I've also wanted to ask how much they charge....

It seems that tattoos and body piercing used to make a statement about the person. Now these things are commonplace and I don't even notice anymore.

Yep, I am extremely judegemental about the way people look and dress.
 romanticoptimist
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 125
Are you judgemental about a person because of their looks ?
Posted: 5/21/2007 7:03:46 PM
Hi, freebird6333
You sure must walk with a lean with the size of that chip on your shoulder, man! :-)
Seriously, your picture is dark and you're scowling, and you go on and on about how people judge you by how you look, that you don't care, but you whine on and on. If I was a woman, I wouldn't take another look at you based on your picture/scowl and complaining. Life's too short to hang around with someone so negative. So here's a suggestion: maybe it's got nothing to do with your hair or tats. Maybe it's you.
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