| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 5/17/2007 1:32:25 AM | | yes as the older we get the more we feel we should know the signs and that we should know better - so the feeling a fool bit seems to get worse, | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 5/17/2007 6:33:10 AM | Wolves, I'm not saying it doesn't hurt; it still does of course.
I'm so bad at anykind of rejection. But it doesn't hurt anywhere near as much as it used to because we know who we are now.
All rejection is bad. Just not as bad as it used to be!
Marcia
Winston - I take it Shoney's is a not-so-great place? | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 5/17/2007 8:11:22 AM | I think that women need to remember that men are visual. They can have the greatest
conversation and if you talk to them their imaginations run wild as to how you look. Its sort of like reading a book and going to see the movie. The movies never measures up to the book because you use your imagination. If they see you up front then they want have these
fantasys about how you look. | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 5/17/2007 9:13:03 AM | At this point, I think I know myself and know that I am a good person. If I meet someone I like, I want them to get to know me before they pass judgment. Perhaps because I feel there is so much more to a person that what you see at first glance, I am willing to 'dig deeper'. Not everyone is willing to do that and I do get 'upset' at someone who gives me the 'quick ditch'.
However I may feel offended, I always console myself with "he's just not that into you", or 'what he is looking for is probably not going in the same direction as my agenda' and then let it go. It's a far cry from the desperation I felt when I was younger and depended on others to validate my worth.
I was told once that 'people would either love me or hate me' due to my bubbly personality and ability to joke around when things get too negative or blown out of proportion. I am basically optimistic and sometimes that can rub the 'realists' the wrong way. That's ok because I would find it hard to be around someone who is always whining and spouting off his criticism of everything. I'll debate an issue with anyone, but when it comes to viewing life and the world around us, I 'd rather dwell on the positives. | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 5/17/2007 9:52:31 AM | | yes, Only because it is harder to find a mate at our age. Our options aren't wide open like when we were younger. Plus past love histories.,have taught us to avoid drunks or abusers, or players. | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 5/17/2007 1:46:12 PM | I am over 50.. but I feel like this.. If there is rejection it's not you. They saw your age in your profile, and went for it anyway. It most likely wouldnt have worked, as they want what they can't have anymore.  | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 5/17/2007 3:57:29 PM | I don't know if it's any harder to take, no rejection is easy to deal with. I do admit to being sensative and having a romantic heart so it doesn't take much to hurt me.
I have noticed that most men my own age are looking for girls between 18 and 30....18!!! Can you imagine? Why would a man in his mid 40's to 50's want some teenage child? And what's up with cutting off at 30 to 35 when a man is between 40 & 50? Then you can get the complete opposite where you have some kid in his 20's telling you he has a thing for older women...they best go for someone in their early 30's rather then looking for another mom to take care of them. I for one will not date someone that may need help with their homework or have to yell at them to turn their music down. Besides, hanging out at the mall and being taken out for dinner at his favorite McDonalds is not my idea of a date. | |
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Genrae
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Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 34 | |
| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 5/17/2007 10:51:51 PM | Nope! In my case it's gotten easier. I figure that I'm older and wiser now and recognize that everyone has their own ideas on who's right for them. Just like I've been rejected, I've also rejected. That's just how it is. I'm not saying that I'm not disappointed when someone I'm interested in doesn't share the interest, but I don't linger on it. Only once, recently, did I meet someone on PoF who I met for coffee and was a touch bothered by his choosing not to see me again. I think that my attraction to him was stronger than most. It was more of a mental attraction as opposed to physical. But, life goes on, and I know "the one" is out there somewhere. | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 5/18/2007 5:17:42 AM |
I think catfish are ugly and I wouldn't eat them ...but some people love them
I never met a fish I didn't like. I eat them all......  | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 5/18/2007 6:13:47 AM | Ijustthought: please don't feel you are being rejected because you are not "good enough" in some way! Instead, think this: perhaps this person sees they are not worthy of my attention and realizes that. In my case, I figure they are overwhelmed by my beauty and wit, and so stunned that I've contacted them they are unable to respond back.  | |
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Genrae
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Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 39 | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 5/18/2007 8:42:38 PM | Rae, I echo every word you say.
As a matter of fact, I rejected a guy earlier this week and I think that was harder for me than being rejected myself. I felt bad, you know?
And like you, I know he's out there.
Just like Mulder used to tell Scully............
oh wait, that was the truth that Mulder said was out there. Maybe he meant a guy too?
Marcia | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 5/18/2007 8:50:16 PM | Ijustthought: please don't feel you are being rejected because you are not "good enough" in some way! Instead, think this: perhaps this person sees they are not worthy of my attention and realizes that. In my case, I figure they are overwhelmed by my beauty and wit, and so stunned that I've contacted them they are unable to respond back.
That is the BEST post since time began! | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 5/18/2007 10:15:59 PM | Well, it all depends on who rejects you/me... If you can anticipate that the person rejecting holds different values to your, then their rejections can turn into compliments. Now, I handle rejection much at ease, and with more perspective. If someone who has no relevance 'rejects' me, well, what is he rejecting anyway? A stranger? I think we also gain perspective from our life experience.
Sister, as for the photo thing,, take it from someone who never posts/sends her photo on line unless is family or good friends. It is not about your photo, if the guy was only after getting another photo/email/phone number for his collection, it doesn't matter how you look like. Some people are just satisfied with knowing that they can get 'results', and live under the ilusion that they don't go any further because it is their decision.. It is kind of funny and twisted.
There's an interesting and frightening site, The art of seduction, that you can probably find by googling it. Some people just seem to spend great part of their lives testing the waters, without actually going for a swim, but they need to know that they 'could' if they 'wanted' to.
OP, shift your perspective,,,, maybe, and only maybe, instead of seeing your photo and not liking you, they might think - wow, too hot to handle.... Just an idea, but empower yourself, after all, power over others is an ilusion.
bye now
B | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 6/23/2007 5:01:09 AM | When I first started this online dating thing I wouldn't post a picture but would gladly attach one upon request. I got rejected so many times!!! Sheeesh. It was a little hard.
Now I post one and only here from the fellas who think I am attractive. Much better for my ego. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If we were all attracted to each other; well, my my wouldn't that be a......frenzy!
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bayrab
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Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 44 | |
| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 6/23/2007 5:14:31 AM | Life is what it is girlfriends... I learned a long time ago that I can't please everyone, and some days I can't please anyone! So I do what's right for bayrab and the rest falls in to place. That's not a conceited thing, it means I mind my side of the street and try not to obsess about what other people think and do. I can't make anyone love me. And likewise, a man can't force or manipulate me into loving him.
Love isn't about pain and rejection. It's supposed to be a good thing. If it hurts, he's not right for you.
So to answer the question, is rejection now harder? It's always hard. How hard depends on who is doing the rejecting. | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 6/23/2007 5:16:43 AM | | Rejection is Rejection.. no matter how you look at it. The only difference is when I was younger I could say "WHAT.. are you nuts.. look at me"... now I can say "OH ok I understand I'm just an old hag".... Not that I've ever been rejected mind you.. LOL | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 6/23/2007 10:07:41 AM | I really do believe there's someone out there for any/all of us.
And believing this, I chalk up each failed coffee meeting to experience . . . You have to believe in something - have a reason to get up in the mornings | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 6/23/2007 10:59:32 AM | I know how you feel. I feel that way sometimes too. I just turned 50 this year and I think things have changed. It seems men my age who have a little money want young women. Not that the young women want them for anything but their money, but men don't seem to care about that. Well I make a good living and I don't want to settle or more to the point take care of someone. I want someone who has as much to put into the relationship as I do. Emotionally as well as financially. I want to grow old with someone and have fun along the way. No one wants to be alone and anyone who says they do is not on the up and up. We're not made that way. I know men are visual we've all heard that, they just don't seem to have a problem with what she's looking at. I've never dated an older man and won't. I say leave the young women for the young men.
Sorry if this offends anyone | |
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| Ladies...is rejection harder at our age?
Posted: 6/23/2007 11:37:28 AM | | OP, We've all been rejected a time or two. Seems everyone is looking for the catch of the day. Hence why most still have their lines in the water a year later lol. | |
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