ronfin
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Joined: 6/28/2004
Msg: 26 | |
| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 8/24/2004 7:09:04 PM | | It's a question. You can just decline to answer and see his reaction, BEFORE, you over-react to someones curiosity about thier possible new mate. :/ | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 8/24/2004 10:34:12 PM | see, there in lies the double edge sword in your case.
to you it's a invasion of privacy...
to most people, privacy shouldn't be a huge issue between two people potentially dating each other.
if I was with a girl, and by some odd reason I asked "so how many you been with", and she froze up. that would be a instant red flag, shut down inside, time to move on.
see that to me says theres something your trying to hide.
you may have slept with a thousand guys or 3, but if you need to hide it for some reason, thats just scary for some reason. cause then I wonder whatelse you want to hide.
(by the way, asking "how many" is something I don't do-1. I don't care, 2. it's useless information to me) | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 8/24/2004 10:48:55 PM | | How many is too many do you fear your next aids test or your next herpies flair up I think those might be good indicators. I think some people may go thru many sex or relationship partners if they walk in either not knowing, what to expect or knowing that they are using this person for sex. Personally the woman I lost my virginity to spoke of so many sex partners it really caused doubt to if she would ever be content with just me. I think thats one very real worry when a man hears a large number when there partner talks about sex partners. Am I ever going to be enough or will you go else where if you don't get your fill. | |
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yna6
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Joined: 5/2/2004
Msg: 29 | |
| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 8/24/2004 11:53:56 PM | | Personally I prefer an experienced partner.....disease free please! Who cares how many times, or how many partners? Live for the here and now, and quit living in the past.....you only have NOW...cause you might not see the next day! | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 8/25/2004 12:39:36 AM | | a person who has ow, 20 partners, nothing serious obviously has had sex 20 40 times. now think about if some one was in a long term relation ship and how many times you have had sex with just that one person. but that doesn't seem to bother any one. tell them you were with 100 people and yer a dump'n station. but i know i've had sex way over 100 times. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 8/25/2004 8:46:13 AM | I don't believe if someone askes "how many partners" is an evasion of privacy....they are curious...sometimes to see how much you are willing to experience...I've been asked before and I have answered...but laughed my ass off when I returned the question and the guy froze up because of his numbers....I am nad made a good point with you can have one partners and have sex 100 time or you could have 20 parteners and have had sex 40 times.... I stil believe it comes down to how many 'other' penis' has she seen....
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 8/26/2004 3:34:15 PM | Princess ~~~ You ask a very good question. In a perfect world I suppose a few sexual encounters would be ideal .. it actually does take some learning (mainly about yourself and your taste in what pleases and satisfies you). However, life doesn't have a schedule to it and we often find ourselves moving on to another place, another person, all in the pursuit of a lasting relationship. It isn't, or shouldn't be differnt for men and women. For me sex is about love .. that isn't so for everyone and who can cast the stone ... shall I be the judge and jury and dictate the limits of sexuallity ? I don't think so ... I damn sure wouldn't listen to someone elses arbitrary morality. Follow your heart, your passions, and your desires ... strive
to bring no harm and hope you make good choices. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 1/26/2005 9:34:07 AM | | I don't think asking a guy or girl how many sexual partners they had is an invasion of there privacy. When you sleep with that person your sleeping with the people they had sex with too and I think I have the right to ask.It's about your safety and well being.Of course they can lie about it (like most guys do) that's why u go together to get tested but then again Aids/HIV can be in your body for years without showing any signs or symptoms so that's why u should just wear a condom. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 1/26/2005 9:51:28 AM |
if your both inexperienced... no comment
Then buy a "road map" :P
Ok the whole subject about the #'s why should it matter how many ppl youve been with the only one that matters is the last one.
I agree on the whole "how many penises shes seen" comment its all about our ego we want to be the best do the best and be the biggest *yawn*
Why do girls #'s importance outweights guys? its just society and our old view points on how women should act its not fair its not right but hey its 05' things are changing Hell the other day i was talking to a good female friend of mine whom is friends with 2 of my old ...well... **** buddies.. she told me they had both talked to her (seperate times) about us sleeping together.. she started laughing of course my ego kicked in i contained it.. and she continued to tell me that the two girls had both told her i was a easy lay.. I busted up laughing I have never heard a girl say that a guy was easy.. I jsut thought it was funny it caught me off guard. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 1/26/2005 10:10:56 AM | | Men naturally want every attractive woman they see until they bond with one, and then she is the only one they want. Women who have many partners learn to disassociate sex from love, and so when the man wants to settle down with her, she does not bond the same way, and is never satisfied. | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 6/24/2005 7:51:59 PM | I was a perfectionist up until the mazzeltoft broken wine glass...now screw it. umppa...(well I'm not qquite there yet..to keep love warm to hot....for that stuff) I guess.
I don't ask or tell. I'm shocked sometimes to hear "the past" but glad to KNOW it...for std and guys trying to kill me in supermarket knowledge...
hmmm if we're the broken glass..we can't get the same crashing sound here with this bag full of chips...oh well..kinda a tinny high pitched noise and rattle vs and crack crash...whatever..thers the anology.
My loves grown cold...my memory has just been sold angel is the centerfold..sucks. umppah....saga po (plate dance commencing) | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 39 | |
| How many is too many
Posted: 6/24/2005 8:08:39 PM | It depends on how old you are!
The old double standard is still out there, unfortunately. Honestly, I'd have trouble hooking up with a guy that's got more than 20 partners. I'd wonder which head he was thinking with, but it really does depend on what he's done with his life. | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 6/24/2005 9:04:15 PM | | I do not thank there is any set number. Having said that no one really wants a girl they know would go home with anyone... Make us feel like we are special and we will do all sorts of things to make you happy. | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 6/24/2005 9:07:09 PM | | I can tell you that theres no such thing as too many when the guy your seeing tells you you took his vigginity and he is 31...*shivers* | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 6/24/2005 9:07:57 PM | | not that there is anything wrong with that! but...when he tells you this a month into it and lied about it before you met...thats just bad news baby. | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 6/24/2005 11:08:22 PM | On the one hand
Discussons about past partners is not
conducive to moving forward in a relationship.
Instead of discovering all about the person yourself,
you now have all this history clouding your mind.
But due to the dangers in this age, a little knowlege
of such history can be important.
On the other hand (someone said this before)
if you get the idea that the other person has
had 10 times more than you, you probably should
not be looking to that one as your one and only for the future.
E | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 6/24/2005 11:18:25 PM | | Do you mean 20 partners all at the same time, just on different days? Or do you mean 20 partners in your entire life? It seems to me if it's an older guy, 20 isn't all that many. | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 6/24/2005 11:35:04 PM | well all i have to say is t'ain't anyone's business but my own how many different men i've been with in my lifetime....i'm over 40 now and have not had a long term relationship in quite some time, doesn't mean i have to be celibate in between? is the number of partners over the years really relavent? isn't it more important to know if they've been monogomous relationships while they lasted rather than how many there has been? just my thoughts...
...and i also believe in not asking a question you're not prepared to hear an honest answer to or respond to yourself....if you really don't want to hear that it's been more than a few (or admit that it's been many for you) don't bring up the subject in the first place.... | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 6/24/2005 11:43:07 PM | | princess if i was wanting to date a woman, it wouldn't matter to me how many men she had been with in the past. especially if she looked like you. people make mistakes in their lives. you can't condemn anyone for making mistakes. looking back to our high school days, there use to be girls that would have sex with as many guys as they could. does that mean they should be condemned for life for doing something they enjoyed back then. i don't think so. | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 6/24/2005 11:53:48 PM | I reckon even two is too many at once,too much to please,but if someone is doing the rounds with twenty different partners, that's mind blowing, the emphasis on protection should be made at all times whether it's 1,2 or 20 partners, if there's no condom,no sex, plus you would need a diary to check which partner you're with one day to the next.  | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 6/24/2005 11:58:11 PM | good idea hs. it would be hard to remember who pissed you off and for what reason. a diary would definitely be a good idea. you must keep things straight.  | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/25/2005 1:14:21 AM | I read a comment about if someone goes on a lot of first dates they may be perceived as 'impatient'.....I don't agree with that....it's all first attraction and chemistry...if it doesn't feel right to you, why continue the illusion for someone else letting them believe you are into them. I know what I want in a man and what are sure tell signs to run the other way.....sure I get sent on alot of blind dates, I go because hey you never know who you meet...and I am always up to meet new people...but I am not going to continue to go out with them to be nice...if there is no connection, why waste their time... I made that mistake once....It's not fair to you or the other person.
I think the double standard still spouted here is a crock. No offense to anyone in particular. But let's face it; guys who've been around the block a few times are still attractive to women in some fashion. Players will stop being players when women stop honoring them. Plus, it gives women incentive to screw around as well by crying foul with the double standard thing. Two wrongs don't make a right. Regardless of what sex you are, you are still sexually responsible. I'm not defending players or slagging them; that's just the way it is.
To be fair, I can see someone in a grey area dipping into the stream when not in a committed relationship to express their libido. I've done it. No big deal. I prefer to be in a one on one relationship myself, but if that doesn't happen, I'm still open; but one of my blocks is STDs. In this day and age everyone should think twice about having a hedonistic heyday. Protection helps but doesn't make you bulletproof.
I think what is really important, like others have mentioned, is consistency. Ten partners in a lifetime is not much. Ten partners in the last three months? Forget it. To me, that also tells me a lot about the person's aptitude, self-respect, and williness to forge a solid relationship and try to make it work. A person who acts out as "porno star" as phase is one thing; when they continue it down the road, in my mind they have self-conception and esteem issues when validating themselves with people of the opposite sex (or the same sex, if they are gay/lesbian).
Interesting how Princess007 brought up how men are often more insecure about their bodies than women are. This is because we live in a culture which worships female beauty above the male form, and places an innate higher value on women's bodies than men's. This---thankfully---is slowly changing (men's health topics, focus on addiction, men taking better care of themselves), but we still have a way to go. It's still fair game to ridicule men about their size, but if you critique women on their goods, it's Hell to pay.
I'm sure someone will make a lame crack at my expense for the above statement. Save your keypresses; I'm not interested in feeding trolls. Without going into explicit detail, I just went to a massage therapist to work on some minor injuries from working out. I was sans clothing. But I'm quite proud of my physique (please make the distinction between confidence and vanity) and bust a gut to look good. I know from experience women appreciate this in return, usually, although some take it for granted. And no, the therapy didn't involve actual intercourse. | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 1:39:45 AM | | I haven't got a clue.. I think it's a personal choice.. They always hope to be the first, but that's impossible... So i haven't actually set a limit for that... Unless it's 20 simultaneous partners, then i draw the line at 0... So that i would be partner number 1 .... ROFL.... | |
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