| How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 1:57:52 AM | | I don`t discuss how many partners I`ve had with a love interest and I don`t expect him to share that info with me!!!! What is the point??? | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 5:05:12 AM | | Princess 007, If I'm to get into your mind, the number of partners you and I could handle would depend on entirely their approach and ability to mutual sastisfaction. Me personally, If a guy attracts me sufficiently to endulge a sexual encounter and he's prepared to overcome any embarrassment of being nervous the first time and we continue to see each other, and I wasn't quite so busy with my work, I guess 20 would not be difficult. But alas and alack all I have time for is 8 lovers (I've only recently added the extra one). I don't lie, they all know about each other. Ahhhh, but it didn't happen overnight--it took quite a while and a lot of patience Sincerely Suzzanne | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 7:24:21 AM | I don't really consider the long term past as being very important but the life style a potential partner has lived over the last year tells me a lot about where they are in life regarding their sexual values and that's important to me. How many partners and type of sought after experiences are important to see if we are interested in heading in the same direction. For me there's a difference between having 3 casual encounters and 3 attempts at relationships over the last year. Both tell me different things about that person. Having 10 partners verses 3 partners over the last year also tells me things about your values in the area of sex. I want to know a partners value system in all areas of life because differences in values can cause problems that can be very difficult to overcome. Yes, peoples value systems do sometimes change when they enter into long term relationships but I personally would be more comfortable knowing that a person already lives like they can be in one. That proves to me they're ready and commited to themselves(about doing everything they can to make a relationship work) before commiting to someone else. Just my take on things, I know it's not for everybody. Happy fishing. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 7:29:56 AM | I just want him to be clean. Who cares how many are in his past? That is then, this is now. As long as he isnt cheating on me now it is all good.
I believe in the dont ask dont tell. Men dont really want to know anyway. | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 8:52:08 AM | | No more than 2 at one time. More than that and somebody's gonna fall off the bed. | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 10:13:02 AM | Another honest answer from Brish:
If a man is just after a women for sex the most important thing isn't the number of people a women has slept with it's that she doesn't have an STD.
If a women has slept with a lot of men most men consider them to be too slutty to have a relationship with. It's not that men disrespect women with active sex lives it's just they are not secure enough to be with someone that they know has been with a lot of people. They start wondering if they are the best they had, how big they are compared to the other guys she has slept with, etc. This eventually destroys the relationship.
Unfortunitely women find out the hard way that being with a lot of guys may make them popular with men for while but when men start looking for a relationship they are not wanted. | |
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RitzNB
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Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 57 | |
| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 10:23:02 AM | @ Ticketoride
I think the poster is referring to past partners. Everyone is different. Some people want a partner that has had plenty of sexual experience (many partners) while other's want someone who's had very few partners. Some people are put off by someone who has a history of sexual promiscuity. Other's don't care as long as they are std free. You can't expect to date a person of a certain age and expect them to be virgins. I guess someone who is secure with the relationship and with themselves will not feel threatened by a person's sexual past because it happened before they met. I do feel however that people shouldn't kiss and tell. Don't flaunt your past sexual history. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 10:58:32 AM | | Do people even ask that question to people they're dating?! that's insane! i wouldn't answer and i'd think they were nosy and incredibly rude. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 11:05:01 AM |
I don't really consider the long term past as being very important but the life style a potential partner has lived over the last year tells me a lot about where they are in life regarding their sexual values and that's important to me. How many partners and type of sought after experiences are important to see if we are interested in heading in the same direction. For me there's a difference between having 3 casual encounters and 3 attempts at relationships over the last year. Both tell me different things about that person. Having 10 partners verses 3 partners over the last year also tells me things about your values in the area of sex. I want to know a partners value system in all areas of life because differences in values can cause problems that can be very difficult to overcome. Yes, peoples value systems do sometimes change when they enter into long term relationships but I personally would be more comfortable knowing that a person already lives like they can be in one. That proves to me they're ready and commited to themselves(about doing everything they can to make a relationship work) before commiting to someone else. Just my take on things, I know it's not for everybody. Happy fishing.
What he said. | |
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Mr O
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Joined: 3/26/2005
Msg: 60 | |
| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 11:05:10 AM | what business is it of anyones!
I think it's taboo to ask your partner that question.
If you really want to know, then ask. But be ready for the answer!!! | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 11:07:55 AM | | i would never ask how many. i am interested in knowing their past history of dating habits. it makes sense to know the types of people they have been with or dated as it could be an indicator of how well we might do. the biggest thing i wonder about is the legacy left by my predecessors. the number doesn't matter to me but that the person could be considered to have lived a safe and healthy lifestyle. prying into the past is one thing but in this age we need to be open and honest about where we've been in order to survive. if a relationship progresses far enough till sex is eminent; there must be a close understanding of each others previous lives. if people are close enough to want sex with each other there should be no problem with communicating about the past in order to preserve a future. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 11:53:44 AM | N.O.Y.B. <<< My answer when asked how many people I've been with.
In truth, I don't know ..... I don't count so that I can never answer that question.
People have different definitions of what to include in their numbers anyway .....
Does oral count? Anal? What about a 3sum ... Do you count both people? Sure, if you had sex with both, but what about if you only have sex with one of them? Does rape count? No, eh? Well what if you have a child from it?
No matter who asks.... they'll have a different definition than the person they're asking.
Therefore, they'll never receive an honest answer in their opinion.
It's pointless and pathetic. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 12:33:09 PM | @mommy of 2
If someone thought it was pointless then they wouldn't ask.
Being a guy, and knowing tons of guys I know the standard view is guys only don't care if they are only out to get sex because they don't really care how they compare to the other guys.
When a guy has feelings for a women it's completely different. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 1:14:22 PM | ^^^^^^^^^
Obviously the person asking doesn't think it's pointless, but in my opinion it is.
If a guy had feelings for me it doesn't make the question any less pointless in my opinion.
Feel better?
You're entitled to your opinion, and you're obviously able to post the question to any woman you have feelings for.
I, on the other hand, don't know the answer and wouldn't tell it if I did.
Since you adressed part of my post, why not answer the rest of the questions? Keep in mind when answering that I have a child who was conceived through rape. Should the number only include consensual sex? I honestly wouldn't know whether to count it or not, so I choose not to count. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 1:35:34 PM | @mommy of 2
I was just trying to say what most guys honestly think even though I know it wouldn't be popular with the women. I think women deserve an honest response for a change.
I'm sorry that happened to you. I know I'm not the one who should be apologizing to you but you deserve an apology.
To answer your other question, no I don't consider rape to be sex. I do consider oral, and other sexual acts to be sex. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 1:44:16 PM | Ok this is an equation actually
She says:
3 ... 3 x (3) = 9 partners
He says:
14 ... 14 / 2 = 7 partners | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 2:36:31 PM |
I think ticket to ride caught to the meaning of my question....(not haw many partners do you have right now......but in total over your life).
That, my dear, is between myself and my past. I don't have to tell any present partner if it's been one or fifty. That's none of his ligitimate business. What is his business is if I'm presently healthy, have no STD's, herpes free, and have sound morals and values. I doubt anyone would give an absolutely honest answer to how many. Suffice to say, men prefer a woman who has only had one or two, but a woman isn't allowed to ask a man. He becomes offended, most of the time, and defensive. Women also lie to get the attention of men, a lot of them do. Who wants to admit to 20+ partners, if that's the case? | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 2:58:41 PM | This question is WAY too wide open. I am 54. I have been chasing girls for over 40 years, and just by the rule of numbers I have caught my share. 20? Please.....
Why does it really matter anyway? Isn't my past my business? When I was committed to someone mentally and emotionally I never strayed from the relationship, but there was a span of 20 years I was totally single and for 10 of those years I played in bands that were on the road 8 months a year. Even groupies count, so for a while there I was pretty busy.
20? Geeze, I'm not a Trappist Monk!
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| How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 6:30:23 PM |
I don`t discuss how many partners I`ve had with a love interest and I don`t expect him to share that info with me!!!! What is the point???
Well, hate to break it to you, Talitha001, but your profile says you want a LTR. If that is the case, wouldn't it be logical to assume that the man would want a LTR also? And it seems to me that the number of partners you've had is essential information. Anyone considering a LTR would want to establish what your pattern is. Now if you don't want to give up that information right away I can understand but sooner or later you'll have to produce if you want to be taken seriously, whether it is for a sexual or a long-term relationship. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 6/26/2005 6:33:05 PM | | I'm with Ticket on this one. My partner and I have been together for a longggg time, and the fire still burns, although now only an ember of what once was. I need no other. | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 7/5/2005 10:57:38 PM | If it were 20 partners at the same time, it would be called a gang-bang.
I dont care how many sexual partners a guy has had before being with me. What I would be more concerned about, would be if he's been active, has he been tested for HIV/AIDS and all
STDs, when and how often. I'd be more concerned if he wasn't clean and not too concerned about playing it safe.
These days no one can be too careful, because one sexual mistake can cost your life! | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 7/5/2005 11:04:04 PM | So men consider women who have had a lot of sexual partners, sluts, but who do they think they have had sex with?
The good old double standard. When a man has had a lot of sexual partners, then he's just exxpressing his manhood or he's sowing his wild oats.
When a women does the same, she's used goods and men get a holier than thou, attitude. | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 7/5/2005 11:12:27 PM |
sooner or later you'll have to produce if you want to be taken seriously, whether it is for a sexual or a long-term relationship.
If they can't 'take me seriously' and accept that it's none of their business, then I don't want a relationship with that person.
I only care whether or not we're both clean. That's it. | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 7/5/2005 11:15:06 PM | Talk about a general question with no relevance to being a tramp.
20 partners in 20 single years is getting laid once a year.---what a stud. | |
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