| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 7/6/2005 5:02:18 AM | | i dont think how many is really an issue. its did u practice safe sex. i believe women should be free to have as many partners as they want but if the sex was unprotected in this era of aids i'd have to think long and hard about dating her | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 7/6/2005 10:37:35 AM | | I think like 35+ would be a little to many...personally, I hope I never go over 10! Getting close though! Better slow down! LOL | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 7/6/2005 11:18:07 AM | LippyBlonde: "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take... but by the moments that take our breath away".
Did you come up with that quote? I'm not familiar with it, but it is awesome as hell.
-sb | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 81 | |
| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 7/6/2005 3:27:00 PM | 20 partners , that is alot of sex , having fun ....
I wish I had more than my past 2 maybe a 100 would be more fun , good for my ego too | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 7/6/2005 4:09:26 PM | | it is not anyone's business how many. 1 or 2 or 20. If you say you only had 1 partner you are a prude if you have had 10 your a slut. so i say zip it and don't tell. it is so unfair cuz guys can have 21 and be heroes while if a girl did she is a slut. | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 7/6/2005 7:52:17 PM | I see a lot of people here, especially women, saying how unfair it is that a woman is labeled a slut if she has had more than a couple of sexual partners over her lifetime while a guy is considered a stud. But it's been my experience that women can be just as guilty of applying this double-standard as men. Why do you think that is? Do you think it's because they honestly believe it, or they're just saying that in order to make the other woman look bad for whatever reason (being catty)?
Another thing I've noticed over the years is how willing (or not) some women are to talk about their sexual history. I've both had it brought up (by the woman) and brought it up myself. In general, it seems that the fewer partners they have had, the more willing they were to talk about it. So I wonder if deep down when women say that "it's personal" or "it's none of his business" they really don't want to say because they don't like how it sounds. What I mean is, if there was no guilt/shame/embarrassment/whatever over their total number of sexual partners, then wouldn't they have no problem talking about it? One possible answer might be that they don't have a problem with it personally but don't want to be judged by others; but doesn't this kind of avoiding behavior just perpetuate the double-standard? Isn't it saying that it's ok for men to talk about it but not for women?
Not trying to antagonize anybody; just commenting on things I've personally seen, and asking some questions. :) | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 7/6/2005 7:55:28 PM | | I say 2 because I've only ever loved twice in my life. The others were nothing and will remain nothing in my mind. | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 7/6/2005 8:01:05 PM |
I say 2 because I've only ever loved twice in my life. The others were nothing and will remain nothing in my mind.
Don't you think that saying 2 when you know it's more than that isn't honest? It's like saying,"They don't count because I was drunk" or "It didnt happen in a bed". Why bother to make the distinction? | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 7/6/2005 8:39:32 PM | What will you do if you meet a guy who you really like and tell him "2", and then later he finds out you hadn't been honest with him? How can you expect him to trust you? I wonder if maybe you're setting yourself up for potential problems later on. Speaking personally, I'd much prefer the truth. If you don't want to say, then say,"I don't want to say". This was an issue with an ex-g/f (emphasis on EX) of mine. Every now and again she'd say something like,"Remember when I told you XYZ? Well, that wasn't exactly correct..."
It won't take very long at all before he's wondering what else you hadn't been honest about. And I'm sure that most people would feel that way in that situation.
"I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies."
Pietro Aretino
"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."
Mark Twain | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 7/7/2005 7:17:23 AM | Hey hi guys,
I think this is my first post in any form. Just wana share with you.
i completely agree with griffin, if you are actally looking for a partner for the life time, probably you might have to think of how many.....
if you are actually looking for a date and short relationship how would it really matter if she has seen a million penises.....
as Griffin said, if her bits and pieces (ha ha...) are fine then thats fine with me... | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 89 | |
| How many is too many
Posted: 7/7/2005 7:32:00 AM | Well ,
yes women have a double standard , I have actually had one sexual partner in all my life , sex with one woman .
women seem to think something is wrong with me , either I am a closet gay or asexual , like I do not like sex , so they look at me weird , reject me , then move on , If i would lie and say I banged every chick I met , like a couple a 100 , they would think I was an experienced lover and must be good in bed or have a huge willy or something .
So many think I am so less of a man because of my lack of sexual encountrers with different women , it is a damn shame \for me , they do not not what a great guy they are missing , it seems like a couple of chicks were very intrigued and interested , still are , they are ex hookers I am helping them get cleaned up , for some reason new unexperienced meat get them turned on . | |
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| How many is too many
Posted: 7/7/2005 7:38:02 AM | I am not sure about this one... first off, is the person really telling you the truth... their number can be inflated, or it can be under estimated... I can see why it would matter why someone would want to know for health reasons... but for emotial reasons, do you really want to know the answer... I know when some people hear it, they have a hard tiem swallowing it...
I think it is up to us, as adults and responsible ones at that to ensure that we all practive safe sex, get check ups... this way it really does reduce the risk and can be a less of a concern....
There are people out there who like to chalk up as many numbers (victims) as they can... there are others who hold onto sexual encounters as a precious moment that is given away only when a strong connection is made...
I honestly do not count, nor do I want to know... I am sure I could come up with an accurate number if I had to... but that's just it... I do not feel that I have to justify my past... the past is just that, the past... live in the moment... if people are concerned about being with the person, make them get a test before hand...
What people do not realize is that it only takes one time to catch something... sure the odds rise when you have more encounters... but remember, just once with the wrong person and Wee Little Willy needs to be taken out to the pasture...
So guys and girls, always practice safe sex... and have fun with it... it is not a competition nor should it really affect the outcome...
Just my thoughts... | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 7/7/2005 7:48:14 AM |
Men naturally want every attractive woman they see until they bond with one, and then she is the only one they want. Women who have many partners learn to disassociate sex from love, and so when the man wants to settle down with her, she does not bond the same way, and is never satisfied.
I may be being too honest here, but I never associated sex with love in the first place. Also why do you feel that it is ok for a man to want every attractive women he sees, but not ok for a woman to want every attractive man she sees. I could be wrong but what you seem to be saying is that it is acceptabe for a man to give into his desires but a woman should learn to control hers. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 7/7/2005 10:12:06 PM | I agree with you Checking up... thats the double standard most men use and its not fair!
The first guy i ever slept with i ended up marrying 6 years later the marrage only lasted 4 year but once we got seperated I was curious wanting to know if sex was the same with everyone lol The last year or so of my marraige the sex sucked we only did it maybe 5 times the whole year .... so when we seperated i will admit to having a few one time things i was curious and had to find out .. which i regetted after cuz they where not good either lol
So i was 18 the first time had one partner for 10 years then since i been seperated now for over 3 years i have had 2 bf's adn a few other men .... now men want to meet me and have sex all the time but i dont want too even though sometimes its very temping (its been a long long time ) lol... but i dont want to add anymore notches to my belt so to speak cuz i dont want my next bf to think badly of me cuz of the number of partners i have had since the seperation.
I met one guy that told me he has had over 100 and he was 34 so in my books that was way to many but if you broke it down to years since he was having sex it turned out to be 5 a year which doesnt sound as bad but i still was turned off by that number.
I guess for me it depends on how many where actual relationships and how many where one night stands | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 7/8/2005 6:48:25 AM | Angel, you said:
thats the double standard most men use and its not fair!
and:
I met one guy that told me he has had over 100 and he was 34 so in my books that was way to many but if you broke it down to years since he was having sex it turned out to be 5 a year which doesnt sound as bad but i still was turned off by that number.
Aren't you just as guilty of being judgmental as some men? Many people on this thread have said that "the past is the past", so why does it matter how many women he has slept with? If you don't want to be judged for your past then it seems unfair to judge him for his, because that is a double-standard, no?
BTW, I agree with you. The guy is either a liar (Use the "Rule of Three") or a slut; probably a bit of both. IMO he shows really poor judgment and I can understand why a person wouldn't want to be in a relationship with somebody like that: he's either incapable of sustaining a relationship for more than a week, or isn't interested in trying.
Would it be a double-standard if women started holding men to the same standard to which they are held? What do you think? | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 7/8/2005 7:53:53 AM | soulbane no unfortunately I can't take credit for that one, just came across it one day and it stuck! Live Life to The Fullest  | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 7/8/2005 1:40:58 PM | All i was saying was i dont want one night stands because i dont want to be judged ... and people judge all the time ...
dont they say women who have had alot of partners is a slut and men with alot are studs?  thats the double standard i was talking about. I dont know if its like that now adays or what ....
all i know is I would prefer a man who hasnt been around the block alot so we can share and experiement things together and me not feel intimidated cuz hes had 30 more partners then me and make me wonder if i am good enough compaired to all those other women... thats just my view on it lol and i think other women feel the same at times as well.
Do men not think that way or is it just that they are getting sex they dont care? lol
Do men not wonder if they can compair to her previous partners? if they measure up so to speak lol
Im just curious
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 7/8/2005 1:48:30 PM | | I've been with 3 females. they were all long term relationships. with the first one i was her first too. and i was the 2nd or 3rd person the other two had been with as well. So i'm kind of spoiled but I don't think i could deny myself the opportunity of falling in love because a woman has mad mistakes in her past. as long as they remain in her past. I don't think there's a specific number..its about why there have been that many. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 7/8/2005 3:36:23 PM | I couldn't get with a guy who had over 20 sex partners. A guy who has had sex with more then twenty is yuckie. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 7/8/2005 3:41:11 PM | ^^^ They'll just read that and tell you that they had less than 20 .... there's no way of knowing if they're being honest about it .................
OT: Who cares? Not me.... I just don't want a virgin or an inexperienced man. | |
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| Re: How many is too many
Posted: 7/8/2005 3:43:22 PM | | like i said i won't deny myself the chance of getting to know someone because of it...but double digits IS kind of intimidating | |
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