| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 5/30/2007 3:40:51 PM |
im 5 3 and have heard this from every female i have tried to have a relationship with so IT MATTERS. this is why ive never had a gf, prolly never will, also why if this is true i will have to really learn to get used to being alone.
Sorry to have to tell you this, Sweetie, but the most successful lover of women I've ever known was 5'2". And he wasn't buff, either. He was just very into women, and they could feel it.
That aside, I just responded a bit ago to a man who had his height listed at 5'2" and no picture. He changed it a week later when he noticed he'd gotten it wrong ~~ but point was, he got a response at that height. . . . Try putting 6' for a while and see if you become suddenly successful, lol!
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 5/31/2007 7:37:00 AM | | Actually, I messaged a woman who was 5 9 and she had absolutely nothing on her profile regarding how she likes a taller guy, or what her preferences were, it was actually a pretty cute profile. She doesn't end up messaging me back, so I send her a another message, with a legitment question about her profile, but this time i put 6 2 as my height. What do you know, not only do i get a message back, i get one back with many compliments lol. I replied to her message, but with my real height ( 5 8) never got anything back lol. | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 5/31/2007 8:01:10 PM | Telling the truth is by far the ONLY way to go. It could be your lie that stopped the communication but, even if it wasn't............do you really want that girl??
I mean think of it like this:
A guy isn't interested in my because I am fat, so I can either rake him over the coals and call him shallow or ......keep looking for the guy who thinks I'm hot.
Why would I waste my time with someone who doesn't find me HOT!??? And why would I waste my time trying to figure out why someone doesn't find me HOT?? And better yet, why would I CARE??? There are sooooo many men out there that find me hot to concentrate my energies on the ones who don't seems silly as hell to me.
Do we really think people are shallow because they don't want a man shorter than them or a heavy women? REALLY? SHALLOW?? How about just not interested and HOW WRONG CAN THAT BE???
It is NOT true that there is someone for everyone..............because...............there are a LOT of someones for everyone..........keep fishing it's certainly a numbers game and attitude is definitely paramount....
......I PROMISE! | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/3/2007 11:31:41 AM | ^^^^
I suspect that this is different for short guys. I don’t think there really are a lot of options for them. Plus, if you’re fat, you can lose weight if things got REALLY bad.
1st off - if you’re a guy, the chances are high that most women won’t think you are “hot”. Women look for guys who think they are “hot”. Men look for the prettiest girl that will accept them.
2nd - suppose you are a guy who is 5’4”. Also suppose that all women want a man who is taller than them (this is not true…but it is nearly true…true enough for this thought experiment). So supposedly, the average female height is 5’4”. This would mean that roughly 50% of all women would not consider you as a partner automatically. Now we have to remember that most women take their height in heels into consideration. That means that the average female height (for the purposes of finding a man) is actually 5’6”. Therefore, as a 5’4” man, roughly 75% of all women would not consider you, automatically. (I used this chart for the calculations: https://www.nutropin.com/patient/3_5_3_growth_charts.jsp)
So now we look at the 25% of women that you do have a chance with. These women “must” be shorter than 5’4” with heels on AND they must be willing to date a short guy. As we know, most women (especially short women) want men who are taller than other men, not those who are simply taller than themselves. This is harder to place an objective number on. But let’s say that 50% of those very short women only want tall men, and the other half don’t care. So that leaves the 5’4” man with 12.5% of the female population who might give him a chance.
Here is where that short guy starts at ground zero. With 12.5% of the female population, as opposed to 100% of the female population for a 6’0” guy. Both the short guy and the taller guy have to deal with all of the pitfalls of finding a mate; only that the short guy is starting with a drastically smaller pool of “fish”.
So to say that there is someone for everyone is probably false. Therefore, it only makes sense for these short guys to lie about their height. That will increase the number of potential fish that are available to them.
Sorry for the gloomy news. | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/3/2007 12:37:29 PM |
Sorry for the gloomy news.
On the flip side (as I posted in another thread), at least 2 in 3 of the 60% of women for whom height is a major factor are either going to end up alone or with a guy of a height they don't desire. Some women don't quite get that Internet dating is not a shoe store with an infinite supply of sizes. The same is true for dating in general, but I think the ability to search/sort/etc. based on height exacerbates the issue. | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/3/2007 1:00:27 PM | If everyone would see the 'Pirates of the Carribean' movies, they might reconsider most physical requirements. Those men and women are cool!  It's their attitude as portrayed in the characters they represent.
Bad teeth, raggy clothes short/tall, thin/overweight, etc.  | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/3/2007 2:18:49 PM | I simply prefer a man my height or taller...Long as he treats me right I dont care how tall he is.... | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/3/2007 4:42:30 PM | Soo.... what if a woman is gorgeous and in great shape...
It's ok for her to only wanna date men over 6' - right??
I guess I missed the whole point of this post. Woman who are not in shape have no right to have preferences? Men who are short should automatically be preferred cuz they're so damn sweet??
We like what we like. I'm about 5'6" and the guy i am currently dating is 6'4" and i LOVE it. There's just something about being able to wear 4" heels and still have your man tower over you. Maybe it's shallow, but it makes me feel "girlie" when a guy is that much bigger than me. It must be part of human nature cuz it's just the natural feeling I get.... | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/3/2007 5:39:52 PM | Ok, listen up ladies. Id like to share a little bit of info as to what this "buff dude" thinks.
Heres part of an email he sent me after he initially emails me, telling me hes sees a discrepancy in my profile and i quote would like to " BET to differ" (awesome grammar), with me.
"You are right, I read what I wrote to you, and it was a very embarrassing typo so I apologize. Well, what I beg to differ, is that you said it is not required for someone to be tall, but its a bonus. I want to believe you on that, its I can't see it. Being you haven't name any other physical features you go for, or attracted too, it seems although, that you would not feel as attracted or even not attracted at all to a shorter man. Which do not get me werong its your preference. I just don't think you should have "its not a prerequisite" Because I think deep down, that it is, its just your trying to be nice about it. Don't get me wrong I find a taller woman attractive, but if shes going to think less of a guy because of his height, it makes it kinda hard for me to see whats inside of her. It just makes her essentially be eye candy nothing more. Not to sound rude just opinons i have (I actually started a topic on the forums about this). Ciao for now"
How the hell does he know what taller women like and dont like?!
Take note my man, and listen hard: Writing crap like "good looking guys ike me dont need to date off of this site" and then spending so much time chatting about things that you dont even know about, as well as saying that and telling ME that i think less of a man because of his height and then saying that YOU cant see whats inside of a girl when she thinks that way is completely ridiculous.
ps- Where in my profile does it say ANYTHING negative abut shorter men? Or me thinking less of a guy because of his height?
Damn. | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/3/2007 6:50:36 PM | | Height has never been a big deal for me, but i do know girlfriends who are i think weird about wanting only tall guys and they are barely over 5 feet tall, sheesh | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/3/2007 7:12:20 PM | Im going to be 100% honest and I can only imagine the abuse I'm going to take for it....
I'm 5'10" and I wouldn't date a guy shorter then I am. (never thought to mention that on my profile tho!) Looks matter, if they didn't, we wouldn't put pictures of ourselves online with our profiles. If you aren't physically attracted to someone, you won't date them. Lots of guys shorter then myself are very attractive, but I simply couldn't see myself with them. Just like I simply couldn't see myself with a guy that had no sense of humour, or didn't like the same things I do, ect... the whole point of sites like this, is to browse through available people in the comfort of your house, and message ones that you think would be compatible with yourself.
You can't help who you're attracted too. Some people may view someone as gorgeous, while someone else views them as ugly. Its not something you can "change". | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/3/2007 7:20:01 PM |
Soo.... what if a woman is gorgeous and in great shape...
It's ok for her to only wanna date men over 6' - right??
I guess I missed the whole point of this post. Woman who are not in shape have no right to have preferences? Men who are short should automatically be preferred cuz they're so damn sweet??
No, he's not saying that AT ALL. He made no remarks about the preferences of a woman who's not in shape. He's asking why that woman, if she has a specific preference such as a tall (maybe even fit or buff) man, expects that tall/fit/buff man to put aside HIS preferences for her and see only her "inner beauty."
The evidence is on this thread. More than a few women have said point-blank they only want a tall man. Fine. But in the next breath, they say: "If he doesn't want me because I'm heavy, it just shows he's shallow/separates the men from the boys/his loss/blah, blah, blah."
It was a simple question with a simple answer: hypocrites. | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/3/2007 8:06:57 PM | ^^^^
Bingo. It's amazing how that one woman basically said "out of shape women deserve tall men too". LOL...oh man...the hypocrisy is amazing. Not a kind word about short men; but only a knee jerk reaction when she assumed the OP was saying that fat women might *gasp* have to date a short guy.  | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/3/2007 8:36:24 PM | | Everybody should be allowed their own perferances without having to feel guilty/ashamed about it. | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/3/2007 8:46:12 PM | I like little short dudes, they just don't like me.
So much for my plans of creating a superior race of super-shorties... | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/3/2007 9:29:41 PM | I just posted this on a different thread, however that thread was started in 2005...
Op I am 5'2" and my boyfriend is 6'3"... Quite the height difference! However it's not a "prereq" for me for dating. It is a nice thing though. When he hugs me, he engulfs me and I love it! I don't think I could date someone shorter tham me, as that would be a little weird for me considering how short I am. | |
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jg524
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Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 92 | |
| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/3/2007 10:22:24 PM | Everyone has said "it's what's on the inside that counts". This is true but physical attraction is a HUGE part of whether or not you like someone. If you are not physically attracted to them right away, then their winning personality is not going to swing your vote for them in the dating arena.
I don't mind if a guy doesn't fit into Brad Pitt's skin, but I don't want to see someone who has let themselves go to the point of no return - no matter how witty they are. I am not a perfect size 6 anymore, but I am not a size 46. I know, I know..there's someone out there for everyone and I'm not picking on anyone. But I have heard so many people say how important inner beauty is while in the same breath, snickering about a really nice, grossly overweight person. That's being hypocritical.
Height is a factor for most women and I think it has to do with what sweets7703 said "he engulfs me". We want some sort of protection factor from our men, no matter independent we are. All women want to feel safe and secure in the arms of their man. If a man is shorter than them, that is blown out of the window. They feel vulnerable (and I know I'm going to hear flack over that) by being able to look over them. I'm only 5'4" and I prefer a guy who's at least 2 inches taller than me (the heel factor coming into play there). There's something about holding onto a guy and being able to hear his heartbeat. | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/4/2007 5:11:15 AM |
Everybody should be allowed their own perferances without having to feel guilty/ashamed about it.
I would agree with this if it applied universally. Unfortunately, as the OP implied, it seems to be applied selectively. Resulting in double standards. For instance, it is apparently "wrong" for a man to express preferences for race, weight, or breast size...but acceptable for a woman to list height requirements, financial preferences, and body type.
And what's worse, these people who have these rigid "preferences" (which are always unoriginal), tend to get offended when "preferences" are applied against them. imho. | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/4/2007 5:29:41 AM | I think secretly we all have a general blue print of an idea mate. Maybe it’s our basis in perception, when searching through the endless profiles of possible matches. Why else would one profile entice one to respond or hold one’s attention more than the next. I know what I am attracted to, but if a guy entered my realm not exactly matching every detail, but maybe offers more in another area. I wouldn’t just dismiss him, but see were it goes. After all, I can accept the fact, I may not be his idea match either, but I would be hurt if he just accepted me cause no oneelse was around or nibbling on his hook.
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/4/2007 6:10:04 AM | | Never been an issue for me until I tried online dating. Even then, a couple years ago I experimented with a pic of myself with a Lamborgghini and there were women who sent me their phone numbers in the first email... and I'm 5'3"! | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/4/2007 6:22:00 AM | | Most people in the dating pool have a preference. There's a person out there that's perfect for you even if he/she doesn't fit what the society deems desirable. You should be glad people let you know up front you're not what they're looking for. Who wants to be around someone who feels negatively towards you. | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/4/2007 6:26:07 AM |
even though they are almost practically the same physical attributes.
I dont think there the same at all... being overwieght is all about exersize and a healthy diet, or I should say, a lack of exersize and a healthy diet... vertical elevation is out of your control, and kinda irrellevant in the grand scope of things... | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/4/2007 6:57:36 AM | ALLLLL of this may be true for SOME women........but not ALLLLLL women. I happen to love the MIND. Am attracted to the mind and attitude and am turned off by the mind and attitude.
I have dated men who look like GQ models and men that some would say.........DON'T.....and they all had one thing in common.........
.............they had confidence, intelligence and a great sense of humor........okay so more than one thing.
one was 6'10" WOW was he a big boy...........and much too young for me really and many have been shorter than me........and now in keeping my private life private let me only say that 5'5" feels like a rather perfect height at the moment.
Stop all the whinning about who won't like you and find the ones that will...or are you finding certain things you can't "bare" in a women physically?? don't we all have preferences........?
My preference is simple: Men who adore me and have the above attributes and we should get on fine............ If I love you.,...I'll love all of you................and find everything about you sexy................no height does not matter......confidence and those other things do.
Diva | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/4/2007 9:03:34 AM | Never been an issue for me until I tried online dating. Even then, a couple years ago I experimented with a pic of myself with a Lamborgghini and there were women who sent me their phone numbers in the first email... and I'm 5'3"!
Hey Roger,
If you are still checking this thread, I wanted to get the perspective of an actual short man. What did you think about my post (message #80)? I used the male height of 5'4" to show that it was statistically improbable for him to get a date using online dating. A man of that height would have a pool of "fish" equal to about 12.5% of the total female online population (if you agree with my generous assumptions). Therefore, I suggested that short men should add inches to their height on their profiles.
My question is, why don't you do that?
If I'm right, then wouldn't it make sense to list your height at 5'5" instead of 5'3"? I'm not trying to be offensive, but I am interested to hear your take on the subject. It seems that you would increase your potential pool by maybe 10% or so (I haven't re-run the calculations).
Plus, if you go on a date with a woman who thought you were taller and she dumps you...then you have lost nothing. She probably wouldn't have agreed to the date in the first place if she knew your true height. However, in the process you might meet a more reasonable woman and find a match, even though she may have skipped over your 5'3" profile.
What do you think? | |
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| Height/Size Contridiction?
Posted: 6/4/2007 11:03:46 AM | Hi Jonathan,
Why lie? Eventually you meet and then you have to try to spin yourself out of the lie? I've been on the other end where a girl says she's a 'few pounds' overweight, then when we meet I'm shocked to see she's grossly obese.
Oh, and as for statistics... they're just numbers. You'd be surprised how many responses I get on here. The thing about being online is that you're just a picture and some data on a screen. This lessens the prospective pool but it certainly doesn't eliminate it.
Getting dates isn't usually a problem. The hard part is finding someone where there's a mutual attraction and we actually 'click'.
Hope this answers your question... - Rog | |
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