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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/22/2007 1:31:27 PM | | No, and I would like to tell you why in an email, but your preferences prevent that. You may email me if you would like my response. | |
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/22/2007 1:48:36 PM | No. Actually, I DID date that guy... not the same one, but one almost identical . And more fool me, I didn't just date him, I fell in love with him and moved him into my home. He was totally non-functional, could not hold a job for any length of time, or stay out of jail.(VOP, mostly) After 3 years of heartbreak and loneliness, I 'went into recovery' myself, ended the relationship and proceeded to get on with my life. Do it again? Never!!! | |
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/22/2007 2:09:46 PM |
Recommend that any girl willing to go out with him has a very good life insurance policy.
I might agree with ISO on that one, *except* that a good life insurance policy doesn't really help *her* now does it? Whats it gonna do, pay *him* for rehab & anger management *after* he gets drunk, blacks out, and shoots her dead? 
Although, I think the consensus here is "don't date him girl!" - I *do* think this is a good example of how one or two "big red flags" can outweigh even some qualities that might be good. | |
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/22/2007 8:58:15 PM | these 2 words are more than enough to say NO WAY:
personality disorder
can't fix that, doesn't go away, no medications, no treatment | |
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/22/2007 9:09:20 PM | After reading these characteristics and events, I would not consider dating this person. However, most of these one would not know until after you have established some type of relationship.
BTW, those are more than a "few" reasons why most would not contemplate being with this person. More "baggage" than the average person would care to "carry".
Best,
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/22/2007 9:09:31 PM | | What positives? Let me see if I can find them...........uhhh...NO....any positive that you may have seen by him is smokin' mirrors | |
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/22/2007 10:00:27 PM | | If you were my sister, I would do every thing I could to get this guy out of your life. He scares me. | |
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/23/2007 1:18:53 AM | In my opinion the guy you describe and ask if anyone (besides yourself) would date him again - from what you've posted he sounds like he's suffering serious disease of alcoholism. If you do sincerely care and he does for you ask him to check out AA.
8.When he drinks, sometimes he blacked out, and doesn't remember the events that occur after he drink quite a good amount.
17. When he is drunk, he swears at you, even though you are not even fighting.
18.When he is drunk, he said to you: "I am the man, you do what I tell you. | |
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/23/2007 1:28:12 AM | I didn't even get halfway down the list and i knew the answer!!!
What does this guy have to do to make you leave, shoot at you ?? | |
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/23/2007 2:02:30 AM | If that were a woman. Would I still date her? Honestly I would not think twice about it. No way! The negatives waaaaaayyyyy outweigh the positive I see there.
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/29/2007 12:46:49 AM | Yes... you should continue to date this person. Why? If for the above reasons alone you can't figure out why you should move on, then you need life's experience to teach you what a dumb question your asking and a dumb life you are living.
Someday... after your get your head bashed in, you'll understand you don't need someone's opinion to figure this out. I look forward to seeing you in the next Forum..."How does my nose look on the back of my head?"  | |
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ngat73
| | Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 140 | |
| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/29/2007 1:08:35 AM | | No I would not. Kissing sucks? And he appears a little on the volatile side and has a gun? Flirts with girls in front of you? | |
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/29/2007 1:59:17 AM | 16.He gets easily irritated, at you.
17. When he is drunk, he swears at you, even though you are not even fighting.
18.When he is drunk, he said to you: "I am the man, you do what I tell you!"
20.He carries gun. And put it on his night stand.
no, no and if that wasn't clear enough, no... until he gets his sh*t wired back in place, probably no woman should, either. Then again, there's always some woman willing to become a statistic because she thinks she can change/help him....
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/29/2007 2:03:42 AM | | GET RID OF HIM NOW...HE MIGHT END UP STALKING YOU.....SLOWLY BREAK UP...HE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLY ANOTHER REJECTION...I WOULD BE SCARED.......... | |
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:01:41 AM | | You have some very good asvice here, OP, take it! Now RUN from this guy and hope he goes away quietly. | |
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:33:16 AM | I know caps are shouting, but I did so in this post to define my remarks......
The OP wrote:
1. He is an active church member. Participate in church activities. Good friends with the priests. (that is not always a good thing)
2. He had messy divorce over 5 years ago.(you heard his side, wonder what she would say)
3. Was arrested in relevance to his wife. Spend a day or two in jail and his mother had to bail him out. (was it justified)
4. When he says he would come for a date, he comes. He doesn't cancel or getting there late. (that is a plus over a lot of guys)
5. He goes out of his way to see you 3 times a week although he has to drive over 1 hour each way. (OK)
6. He has been to anger management 3 times by court order (divorce related). Failed the anger management twice. Kicked out because of attitude problem. (RED FLAG #1)
7. He kept dating regular, always every weekend, and once a week. No games with schedule. (ok)
8.When he drinks, sometimes he blacked out, and doesn't remember the events that occur after he drink quite a good amount.(RED FLAG #2)
9. He introduces you to his church members, mother, good friends, kids within a month of dating. (OK)
10. He can't kiss. He said he is struggling with intimacy. (NEED A GREAT KISSER)
11. He likes to spoon. (HE WILL SPOON, BUT NO KISSING. WAS THE SPOONING PART OF SEX OR JUST SPOONING ALONE? Most women love spooning, but only as part of a great relationship)
12. He was psychologically tested during divorce. Result: personality disorder - undefined. (RED FLAG #3)
13.He is good with kids. He likes kids. Sometimes I feel that he likes my kid more than he likes me.(RED FLAG #4, MAYBE MORE DEPENDING ON THE NUMBER AND SEX OF YOUR CHILDREN)
14.He has been in depression since he was 17. Taking depression drug regularly. He said that it was chemical imbalance. (I KNOW DEPRESSION IS TREATABLE BUT ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO TAKE THIS ON?)
15.His priest said that he was a good guy and that he is sensitive.(I WAS CATHOLIC, SO DON'T SEND POSTS---OK THE PRIEST SAYS HE IS GOOD AND SENSITIVE, HOW CLOSE ARE HE AND THE PRIEST? IS THIS JUST A GENERAL KNOWLEDGE OR ARE THEY FRIENDS?)
16.He gets easily irritated, at you. (BUNCHES OF RED FLAGS AND WHISTLES)
17. When he is drunk, he swears at you, even though you are not even fighting.(SEE #16)
18.When he is drunk, he said to you: "I am the man, you do what I tell you!"(SEE #16)
19.He can talk in deep conversation with you about life and people. (SO CAN CON MEN)
20.He carries gun. And put it on his night stand. (THAT IS NOT NECESSARILY A BAD THING, BUT GIVEN THE OTHER COMMENTS YOU STATED--SCARY)
21.He flirts with other girls, even when he is sitting next to you.(GIRLFRIEND,JUST HOW MUCH HEARTACHE DO YOU WANT?)
21. He talks a lot, about himself.
RUN, Forest, RUN as fast as you can. If you and your children feel the least bit frightened after the break-call the police or legal assistance and get a restraining order. I am with the other poster who said he may turn violent when you break with him. He already had legal issues regarding his ex-wife. Don't jeopardize you or your children for this nut case. There are women every where who are frightened of men and will not leave the relationship, don't become a statistic. (and yes, I know there are female nutcases, too)
There are enough Red Flags here to man a whole corp in Macy's Parade!
As Judy Tanuda says, are you dating because you are too lazy to commit suicide? You stick with him and you may have that taken out of your hands. The man is a danger to you and your children. Protect them if not yourself. Think, woman, think! Not with your heart but your head!
Better to be with no one than this one! Sweetie, go fish in some other pond!
And since you posted in May, I hope the break has happened and you are now living a great life. Let us know. BTW, you have another post about this guy listed at the same time " Rushing or cheating, need your opinion". You were questioning this relationship, so I hope you got out. | |
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Savona
| | Joined: 1/28/2007
Msg: 146 | |
| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:38:23 AM | Paragraph one, I wonder how this reads ......
My boyfriend ....
Was arrested in relevance to his wife. Spend a day or two in jail and his mother had to bail him out. He has been to anger management 3 times by court order (divorce related). Failed the anger management twice. Kicked out because of attitude problem. When he drinks, sometimes he blacked out, and doesn't remember the events that occur after he drink quite a good amount. He can't kiss. He said he is struggling with intimacy. He was psychologically tested during divorce. Result: personality disorder - undefined. He is good with kids. He likes kids. Sometimes I feel that he likes my kid more than he likes me. He has been in depression since he was 17.
Now lets put 15 to 21 in one sentence and see how it sounds ....
He is Taking depression drug regularly. He said that it was chemical imbalance, (and drinks while on medication) He gets easily irritated, at you, and When he is drunk, he swears at you, even though you are not even fighting. When he is drunk, he said to you: "I am the man, you do what I tell you!". He carries gun. And put it on his night stand. He flirts with other girls, even when he is sitting next to you. He talks a lot, about himself.
Now there is one paragraph of pure hell.
OP if you think he is a great guy, good luck.
Savona | |
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:38:58 AM | | Are you serious???? YOU need to go see a shrink if you would even consider a date with him. He is an abuser hiding behind the church. | |
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| Would you keep seeing this guy?
Posted: 12/29/2007 5:53:33 AM | WARNING WARNING!!!the lights are on ... but NOooooo Bodys.. home ..
Ahhhh ... tha answer is ...... NOooooooooooooooooo | |
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