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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/1/2008 8:57:55 AM | Here is a story of mine on the topic:
I was a senior in highschool and pretty shy back then. I had a crush on one of the most popular/pretty girls in the school and she didn't know anything about me other than my name. For a while I kept thinking about how unapproachable she was because 1) she was gorgeous, 2) she didn't really know me, and 3) she pretty much could pick any guy she wanted to date from my school.
Well one day I just say "screw it" and during our lunch period she is sitting down on the floor against her locker doing some homework or something alone. I see my opportunity and walk right up to her, ask her how her day is going, ask if I can sit and keep her company and we just talk for about 5 minutes. I had no real idea what I actually said to her bc my heart was pounding so hard but apparently I made an impression. I didn't date her or anything because I guess she was involved with someone but my first semester back from college I found out she had a crush on me after that day. Although I didn't 'get the girl', it was nice to know that going out on a limb like that when I was so shy at the time made a positive impression.
It definitely helped turn me into a more confident person after the fact. | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/1/2008 9:09:09 AM | Generally, attractive people seek attractive people. If you study couples, you'll often see many physical similarites between them. However, you'll run into a very attractive person with a very unattractive person. The reason is based more on emotions than looks. It's very likely that the good looking person was in the emotional pit when the relationship began.
If you don't have any confidence, you'll have a very difficult time approaching anyone even the same sex. In any case, I never concern myself with looks when I approach a woman. If anything happens, looks are just a beginning or an entree. | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/1/2008 9:22:04 AM | I used to work security for the Washington Redskins at RFK stadium in DC. Every home game I was on the sidelines right next to the Redskins cheerleaders. There was one, named Lisa, who was one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life. We used to talk, and laugh, and joke around, we had a lot of fun. I never even dreamed of trying anything with her, I was convinced I was way the hell out of her league. I just knew there was no way in hell.
One game, she told me that they were all going to a bar in Georgetown after the game, and she asked if I wanted to go. The security team had a meeting after the game so I had to tell her I couldn't make it because of the meeting. I was also sure she was just being nice, because she was always that way.
The next game was the last game of the season, and Wanda, the lead Redskins cheerleader, asked why I didn't go last Sunday. I told her about the meeting, and that was why I couldn't make it. She told me "you know, Lisa really likes you, she talks about you alot. She said you were the only guy in this stadium that hadn't hit on her"
Lisa got some big marketing job and didn't return to the squad the next year. I had a chance, and didn't even know it. It proves that just because a woman is finer than a frog hair doesn't mean she's out of reach. But you have to try.  | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/1/2008 9:35:32 AM | There is no such thing as a woman so beautiful that a man can't approach her. There is, however, such a thing as a beautiful woman who is so in love with herself or has something stuck so far up her ass that you can't approach her. Most women don't have a clue how pretty they are, and some of the sweetest and most gracious women I have dated were very attractive. It's the sevens that think they are tens that have the attitude problems.
Some of the most attractive people are the loneliest because no one will approach them. | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/1/2008 9:37:00 AM |
Why? I have feelings too! It seems to me that the unattractive women get all the attention! 
It wouldn't be because these unattractive women (as U called them) dont walk around with their noses up in the air or as if they have a stick shoved up their a$$ now would it???
LOL for all U "beautiful" girls that claim U cant get a date let alone attention from a man??? Cry Me a River! ok??  | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/1/2008 10:48:19 AM | Racer...no guts, no glory! On the other hand, you can't just go up to a woman and say, 'Hi! I'm Dave! I like Nintendo, reading the sports page on the john and bocce ball... wanna have sex with me?' because that doesn't work either.
THESE ARE THE RULES!
Watch the movie "The Tao of Steve" and use a notepad...you'll need it. The Tao of Steve isn't about picking up lots of women. It's about being the best person you can be.
1. Be Without Desire. If you're out with this girl and even THINKING about getting laid, you're finished, cuz women can smell an agenda like shit on a shoe. In short, CONTROL YOURSELF! That's the whole point. Don't pretend. Just really let go of your desire. Think about how much fun dancing/conversating/walking on the beach with her would be. FORCE ALL THOUGHTS OF SEX OUT OF YOUR MIND!! Because if you follow the rules, you'll soon have more than you can handle anyway 
2. Do something excellent in her presence, thereby proving your sexual worthiness. There is a lot to be said for Fred Astaire dance classes. If you can dance WELL (and I'm not talking Booty Dance/White Man's Disease here) you will invariably get more dance partners than you can handle. The point of dance is NOT to draw attention to YOU, but to PRESENT and SHOW OFF the woman you are dancing WITH. If you do it well, you have then proven your excellence...and not just to HER, but every female in the ROOM!! If you have a strong Tango...well, let's just say that it's like shooting fish in a barrel. There is a reason that Dancing With The Stars is a Top ten Show. LEARN FROM IT!! Most women believe that a man who can dance well is almost guaranteed to be great in bed...they're not wrong. 
3. Retreat, for as Heidegger said, "We pursue that which retreats from us".  Make a good impression, then EXIT. Go do something else...play pool, darts, talk with a male friend, dance with another girl (advanced Lothario's ONLY)...whatever. Let her think about the meeting and if she wants to find out more about YOU. She'll find a way to get your attention back on HER if you do it right. Usually through Direct Eye Contact. Both men and women want to have sex. It's natural, except we're on different timetables. Women want to have sex, like, y'know, fifteen minutes after us, so alright, if you hold out for twenty she'll be chasing you for five.
4. When she gets your attention back on HER (which it really never left, it just looked that way), she will then tell you EXACTLY how to get in her good graces by giving you signals in her conversation. She's already made up her mind at this point, it's just up to YOU not to screw it all up. This is where you can take the deal one of two ways...a One-Nighter if you are a slut, or a relationship if she's "The most beautiful woman you've ever seen!"
Addendum: If you are a KNOWN SLUT...which I was...you will receive a certain amount of Negative Commentary...but as long as you have a ready reply...you can diffuse the situation and overcome the objection of your past behavior.
Examples:
"You danced with half the girls in here!"
Reply: "None of them make me feel butterflies the way you do."
"You took those two girls home last weekend!"
Reply: "I only walked them to their car and followed to make sure they made it home safe. Everyone made it home alive, and that's the important thing...I'd do it for anyone I knew."
(Who knows what happens after you leave the bar...Discretion is KEY! The female you are talking to wants to make sure you're not going to tell everyone she was just as slutty as you, which you should NOT...she also doesn't need to know about how much fun that threesome weekend was, either.)
"You dated my best friend and she was heartbroken when you left!"
Reply: "She was very special to me, but I just couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life with her. You know how she is..." (every friend knows something HORRIBLE about her friends...it's usually enough to push the hint out, they'll fill in the blanks, you just nod & shrug & give 'em the "Whatcha gonna do? look)
Women tend to believe that there is ONE major thing wrong with EVERY GUY...once they figure out that THING, they then figure out if they can retrain/handle that THING so they can have a relationship with YOU. So when a woman asks "What's the worst thing about you?" Present what you think is your worst FIXABLE flaw, and mention that you are slowly working on overcoming it. Example: My current gal asked me what my worst flaw was...I told her "I have an Ego the size of China"...she laughed and wrote it off...it was in her "Handleable" category. Now & then she looks at me and tells me that my EGO is showing when I get a little too over-the-top, and I'm all the better for it. 
And Always, AlWaYs, ALWAYS go up and introduce yourself to that "Absolutely Beutiful Woman!" You NEVER KNOW what her circumstances are until you ask...she might have just gotten out of a relationship with an abusive bunghole and is now looking for a NICE GUY who won't beat her. BE THAT GUY!!
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/1/2008 10:59:35 AM | 'And Always, AlWaYs, ALWAYS go up and introduce yourself to that "Absolutely Beutiful Woman!" You NEVER KNOW what her circumstances are until you ask..."
Well-said Shrek! Gentlemen, heed (listen & learn) these words! | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/1/2008 11:08:53 AM | Bigshrek...that sounds an awful lot like "game playing" to me... I'm not saying you are wrong, but...you know, I thought we were trying to get beyond the games and all that.
Your first approach might just work! At least get a laugh...
Re: the fixable flaw. I use this also during job interviews. My worst habit? I pick something that I can keep under control and then I tell them how I control it. "I am forgetful so I use lots of sticky notes". (which is true, actually).
Here's a stupid stereotype I had once. I had a research participant earlier this year (april?). He was drop dead sexy gorgeous - voice, smile, built upper body, everything. SO far out of my league. Not sure what his background/ethnicity was...I'm guessing African by his name. He was model hot. And I forget his major, but something "smart". (ok, also like 15 years younger than me but that's besides the point). Anyway, no I didn't hit on him...that would prob have been unethical considering my job. LOL But the stereotype...I just thought to myself, wow, a guy that awesome, I'd be afraid if he "settled' for lil ol' me that he'd end up cheating on me.
I know that's a horrible stereotype. And it's not like I'm not totally worth him. I am - on the inside.
But let's face it, I wasn't in his dating league by any stretch of the imagination. And he'd know it. Actually even if he had a perfect brainiac gorgeous model girlfriend, I'd still think he'd cheat, because of hte girls throwing themselves at him. LOL (he did have a gf, he mentioned her, but no I didn't ask if he cheated on her!).
Do guys think like that? That if she's ms gorgeous surely she'd cheat?
K | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/1/2008 11:32:33 AM | Kaylie, it doesn't matter which one someone is trying to accomplish, a date or a mate...it's STILL got to go through the numbers.
Unfortunately some of us have a habit of taking gals out for a "test-drive" before settling down. I firmly believe that you can't have good love without great sex. Took me awhile to find BOTH in the same gal, but I'm glad I never settled for anything but the best!
After Regular Sex- clean up & head home. Look in Black Book to see who is next.
After Good Sex-Rest for awhile, cuddle, find out more about the gal. See if she can be trained to Great Level!
After Great Sex- try to remember at what point you broke the bed and where the hell are your clothes and the handcuff key?? | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/1/2008 11:34:23 AM |
Do guys think like that? That if she's ms gorgeous surely she'd cheat?
I don't think it's so much that she would cheat if she's "ms gorgeous", but I think it's the fact that if she is, every guy looks at her, every guy wants to be with her, and it depends on if the guy is insecure about it. I dated a girl once who was like that, when we would walk in a restaurant or bar I could see every male head turn in the place. But it didn't bother me, I would just strut like George Jefferson saying "yeah that's right, she's with me" But she wasn't the cheating type either. | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/1/2008 12:05:43 PM | I had a guy write to me,saying...I know you are beyond my reach, but I just wanted to say hi and tell you, you are beautiful.
I replied back with a thanks, but at the time I was talking to someone, and wanted to see where it was going.
a few months later I was on another site(paying one) when I got a message from this same guy. This time I was not talking to anyone and we got chatting. We met up and everything was fine, until he kept saying I was too good for him, that he could never look or be like my ex.
This put a whole damper on it, as he was a nice guy, and maybe he wasn't my ex, but...my ex was my ex for a reason.
you have to believe in yourself! I too had a low self esteem, then I took four yrs out to learn about me, and learn to love me and life.
The moral of this tale is...If you don't love yourself first, telling someone they are great, but your not good enough for them will result in regrets and failure, due to you not knowing what could be.
Live life! it is beautiful!
Not everyone will want to know you for the inner person. it's life! Move on to the next person. but don't just go for looks!
I consider myself beautiful on the inside, and it's that what counts, as beauty on the outside fades with time | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/1/2008 2:24:46 PM | | Here is the thing................................ most of the time it is the arrogant and**** type who will go around the bar hitting on any hot girls they see until one bites. These guys usually all look the same , dress the same, and have the same pick up lines. If the girl is really beautiful on the inside too; she will see that crap comming from a mile away! What she is looking for is the guy who would not usually approach her. Keep in mind that it is not your "wasted time" you are worried about..... its rejection. So put yourself out there but be yourself and always remember not to try and be someone you are not! | |
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nzd
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Joined: 9/25/2008
Msg: 565 | |
| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/1/2008 2:51:57 PM | I understand the feeling.
If you already have low self esteem and don't think you deserve, you don't.
If you already have an idea that beautiful women only belong with a handsome, high. income earner, you're wrong.
If you put her on a pedestal, you won't reach her.
If you label her, you're thinking in black and white.
It is how you view yourself. IF you feel you're a good person and a deserving one, you'll have the confidence to approach beautiful women.
Beauty is only a skin deep. The real beauty is within. Don't get too hung up on it! | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/7/2008 2:04:21 AM | If I may........please do ask.
I'm the most modest and humble person, and still, I sit alone.
I was sitting on the subway about ten years ago and an elderly gentlman was leaving the train, on his way out he said "what's dangerous about you is that you are beautiful, what's admirable is that you don't know it" | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/7/2008 2:49:09 PM | ^^^ yeah, but you are in Ontario, so you are surrounded by horrible hockey lunatics. Enjoy!
Most "Nice Guys" limit themselves by NOT doing any asking when working...but will accept if asked. Usually, if a guy is conversating with you on a regular basis, he'll likely date you....but Professionalism means that he can't ask when he's doing Official Business.
Of course, more guys need to know what a Business Lunch can possibly be...that way they can ask out that secretary while waiting for an appointment with her boss.... | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/7/2008 3:20:07 PM | shrek~ you giving dance lessons again? Hello buddy where ya been? Hybernating with your sweetheart I hope..The girls say hello....great advise by the way.....^^^^^^^^^ 
<----------is a hockey lunatic!!!! | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/7/2008 6:44:46 PM |
freebird6333: "Men are their women who you think are so beautiful that you would be wasting your time if you asked them out?"
No, there aren't any women who are so beautiful that I wouldn't talk to them.
There are those though that seem to put out a vibe that they're only interested in you if you're famous. If I did approach them I'd do it in such a way to match their own aloofness since it's really no point. I'd be polite of course. | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/7/2008 7:48:46 PM | Are there women so beautiful, I won't waste my time trying to get no for an answer? Sure, happens every week. The definition of insanity is, to do the same thing over and over, and expect a different response.
Its been five years since a woman I found attractive, was attracted to me. Hence, I got the hint. Somewhere there'll be a hottie who thinks working within my limitations is a lousy attitude...and I'll counter, "how many times do you jump off the roof before you determine, you aren't capable of flying?"
It is what it is. You can ask her out, and if she says no, then you worry about being creepy by continuing to check her out. Or you can keep doing it on the sly, like she isn't used to it. But its sure funny how many women try to say, "its not the looks, its the attitude!" and in the next breath, claim, "I only wish I could meet more men who had that attitude!"
Excuse me? Why did you date the guys who didn't have it? What made them so attractive? oh....it was their looks. Um hum.
As for advice, I'm not sure what advice the OP is looking for. We all have things in life we want we can't have. Hot chicks have lonely nights. They deal with it. So can we.
Intelligence is relative. Some hotties are labelled dumb, b/c they ARE. As its taken me a long time to learn, dumb people don't think they are dumb,b/c by definition they aren't smart enough to realize it. A rocket scientist may think someone is dumb, yet be so lacking in common sense, that the rocket scientist cannot find a partner due to their lack of common sense. So, just b/c someone thinks your dumb, doesn't mean they are right...or wrong. They may be smarter than you in some ways, and not in others.
But...who cares? They aren't a good match for you. So what? there's 8 million more to go thru :) | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/8/2008 4:14:49 AM | ^^^ ok. You have a solveable problem there. All you have to do is hit the gym a few days a week, build up some serious muscle and you will be SET. You look like a rocket scientist...thin, but lean-type muscle.
Which is good. But having a 6-pack & cannonball shoulders is better!  Women, no matter how much they say differently, will STILL chase & prefer Brad Pitt-types.
And then there are many women who like guys who look like a Shaved Sasquatch...less common, but still plenty of 'em THANK GOD!! | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/8/2008 10:59:26 AM | It's what is called, Approach Anxiety, which most guys have when they want to approach a girl that they would like to be with. If a guy is not thinking about hooking up with that particular for some strange reason talking with that one girl makes it a lot easier but if the guy wants more than just friends it seems to develop a fear of not knowing what to talk about. That is why always approach a woman just to be friends and if anything else is to happen, it will happen on it's own.
I used to be that way but now I don't think about it anymore I just be a friendly guy and just have a conversation with anyone. It has helped a lot, and I have made great friends that way also. | |
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| When a woman is so beautiful you can't approach her.
Posted: 10/8/2008 1:16:36 PM | Well, speaking as a gorgeous minx, I think men should not be scared or intimidated by attractive women. I get a lot of attention from outlandish men that really don't care what reaction they get. Most of the time, as long as someone has good intentions (emphasis on good intentions), they will get a warm response from me. However I do turn down a lot of offers. Crazy old men are always the one's after me. Why is it though, that when you do politely turn a guy down after having a nice conversation, they don't want to hear another word from you. It is disrespectful. It shows me that they only want one thing. For example, usually if I turn a guy down, I just lie and say I have a boyfriend or that my therapist doesn't allow me to date (the later excuse I use to get the guy to just leave me alone, and I do tell a little white lie to avoid saying I'm not attracted to you). But letting a guy know he can't date you seems to make a lot of men think he can be completely rude and make a horrible comment or ignore you.
I digress. | |
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