| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:47:24 AM | Must admit I asked myself this same question, seems everyone here has kids or they are just too young for you anyways. Guess either you can deal with someone that has kids or you cannot. Having older kids or young adults as it may be is a far cry from younger ones.
Ive never had any kids...... so maybe it just scares some of us. I think people that have had kids and maybe are dealing with shared custody would get it more than those of us that dont.
And you have to ask yourself if you met someone you really liked would their having children stop you from trying to make such a long term thing....... only each person can answer that for themselves. | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/6/2009 10:29:22 AM | | If I were to want to be in a relationship, I would prefer her to have kid(s) around my daughters age. That would also depend on how well mannerd they are. I will not even think about dating a woman who lets their kids talk back to them, run around the grocery store. I won't tolerate it with mine and would say something wrong which would probably end us anyways. | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:43:42 PM | Damn - You say you already raised one dead beat dad's kid. I honestly feel sorry for you! If you really feel that way, you don't deserve to be around kids!
I have three kids. I fought for my marriage! (through bankruptcy, his girlfriend, and more but enough is enough!)
Honestly, if you can't open your eyes and realize that the person you should be with may not be exactly how you expect them then you have a lot of growing to do! All I'm saying is don't close doors and walk away before you give us a shot. | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/8/2009 3:09:04 PM | ^^^^^ If you're talking about me, I just know what I want. I don't want to meet a woman with any more than 2 kids, and I want them around my daughters age. What is wrong with getting what you want?
If you weren't referring to me, my apologies. | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:10:19 AM | <-- Single, childless female in Washington. Let the avalanche begin! (grin)
But seriously, buying into any stereotype is to agree to allow it to constrain your outlook and thus, your life. Why would anyone do that?
The statistics from the State of Washington department of health and human resources demonstrate very quickly that the stereotype is untrue and, in my experience, the "Seattle Freeze" simply doesn't exist.
Obviously, your mileage may vary, but well-behaved children are the best indicator of a woman who knows how to engage and interact with others, particularly in a "position of power/authority" and I'm surprised more men don't recognize (and value) this for what it can mean in the context of a relationship.
That said, in my experience, men who are absolutely dead set against children tend to be more self-absorbed and needy on the whole (I don't want you to have anything else to pay attention to but me).
When my children were growing up, I simply wouldn't have anything to do with a man who couldn't understand and accept that it's ok to have more than one focal point in your life and that, believe it or not, you can manage it without anyone being shorted on time, attention, and care. | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:42:36 AM | ^^^^^^^Great post. I completely agree with "(I don't want you to have anything else to pay attention to but me).". When in a relationship some people do expect to be the only one that gets the attention. Thank God I am not one of them. I enjoy my time as should a lady I am dating. How she spends that time is up to her obviously, and I wouldn't want her to think she needs to worry about me when ouot with girlfriends or what ever she's doing.
Back to the kids, as I said, there are certain things that I know what I want in my next relationship. Too many or misbehaved children aren't on the listof wants. It ranks up there with a woman who smokes and one who is full of conflict(constant arguing). It's nothing personal against any individual, it is a matter of what I want and don't want, because in the long run I know if I had those items in my life I would not be happy. I will NOT live that way. | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/12/2009 9:27:45 AM | 'Well, someone once told me that Washington State is the single mom capitol of America'
..I think they meant to say that WA is the deadbeat dad capital of America. Maybe you need to streamline your search  | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/12/2009 9:27:50 AM | I'm single and childless...
although I run an in home daycare so that usually is a huge no no for guys around my age so i've found. I also have found it very interesting that a lot of women around the area my age are on their 2nd or 3rd kiddo full of baby daddy drama (i tend to hear most of it). In my opinion, it's one thing to have raised your kids in a marriage and there were just too many things to overcome, but it's another thing to have baby daddy/momma drama and try to bring that into a new relationship.
I completely understand read only's point of view of only wanting kiddos around his daughters age, less likely to bicker and she'd have new friend that she could probably relate a lot to. My mother married when i was 18, his youngest daughter is 11 months older than me. We're literally the best of friends. It was rocky at the start, but once we figured out all the things we had in common things were a lot better. His youngest son is also my little sister's age (they're 4 months apart) and they get a long well most of the time as well. | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/12/2009 9:50:14 AM | "I completely understand read only's point of view of only wanting kiddos around his daughters age, less likely to bicker and she'd have new friend that she could probably relate a lot to. "
Thank you Italian, that is exactly my point. My other point is that I am not interested in a woman with anymore than 2 kids at the very most, and that may be high. It's nothing personal against the woman who has 2+ kids. It boils down to wants. I have my reasons for that. It's already too expensive to raise just one kid. If people get to where they have 3-4-5 kids to haul arond it gets expensive in many different ways, and I will not go there. I know I'd be unhappy in the long run.
I think more people need to figure out what they REALLY want and go by that list, it would make them a lot happier. | |
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-DCI-
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Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 160 | |
| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/12/2009 11:52:21 AM | Yeah because off course its the fault of the men. Its nice to assume that the reason there a lot of single moms in this state is because of the man leaving. You understand that LOTS of women want to be single moms right? How about purposely having the baby of some random guy? Or my personal favorite, being such a b***h that someone wouldn't want to spend more than 5 minutes with you. Yes there are dead beat dads, but I'm sure thats not the case when comes to the number of single moms nowadays.
I don't have anything against single moms at all, but I find it funny how women act like its so hard NOT to get pregnant around here. I compare dating a single mom to dating a girl who has her exes name tattooed on her. Its a constant reminder that another man will have some influence in her life. You don't know what kind of relationship she has with the father of her kids. Its also a unfair advantage for her, because she can use her kids as an excuse to avoid most relationship responsibilities.
So if you do find a woman without kids, make sure you use protection. Don't wake up a father because a woman thought that is what you should be. | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/12/2009 5:17:12 PM | "So if you do find a woman without kids, make sure you use protection. Don't wake up a father because a woman thought that is what you should be. "
I hve the best protection. Been fixed and tested many times. 1 is all it is here, LOL | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/12/2009 6:29:59 PM |
I have the best protection.
No...I have the best protection. I'm a 40 year old woman with two preschoolers. All I do is say that to men, and they run screaming the other direction. Extremely efficient birth control.
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/12/2009 6:41:38 PM | "No...I have the best protection. I'm a 40 year old woman with two preschoolers. All I do is say that to men, and they run screaming the other direction. Extremely efficient birth control. "
Now that was awesome. Below is me.
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/12/2009 10:11:15 PM |
So if you do find a woman without kids, make sure you use protection. Don't wake up a father because a woman thought that is what you should be.
Indeed, because the notion of keeping it in your pants, or actually talking about things is just so passe'.
Wow. | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/13/2009 5:51:50 AM | Am i just from another generation, but doesnt anyone use birth control anymore......i spent my life in college until about 26 years old........it does seem strange to me that in Boulder which was a wild and crazy place, lots of sex and fun, I do not remember any woman ever getting pregnant.....7 years of college and everyone i knew was sleeping with someone or 2 someones.......but the small washington town i moved from last, 1 in 3 high school girls either had a kid or were pregnant before they had graduated the 12th grade......?????.........even a woman i was very close to who was 36 had a 21 year old son........when i questioned about maybe the lack of birth control measures offered she said........"the county nurses bus came to town every 2 weeks".............so please tell me exactly what is it i am not getting.
is it a lack of education............look thru this site.......there are hundreds of single un-married moms....(dont get me wrong i have no moral issue with that)......birth control pills cost what........$20 a month.......compared to a life being 19 single and having to feed a child, with some 19 year old guy who doesnt have any interest in being responsible, and at 19 who does, isnt birth control a cheaper solution.
yes i expect someone to come here and say why is it the womans responsibility to be on birth control............maybe its a shared responsibility........but a horn toad 19 year old teenage boy isnt concerned about that......he cant get pregnant...........she can.
and on the comment some of us men dont like women with kids because basically we are self absorbed and want constant attention.................ha ha ha .........funny if you read some of these profiles the women with kids have more rules about what you can and cannot be or do in your life than the single women without kids.........so some of us are self absorbed because we would like to have someone in our life that can give us the same attention most women demand....... so because you have a kid your list of do and donts is ok but for us its self absorbtion.........thats not even funny. | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:25:37 PM |
and on the comment some of us men dont like women with kids because basically we are self absorbed and want constant attention
Perhaps you should try reading what I actually said rather than what you projected onto it. The difference is, massive. (But thank you, you are rather making my point with your over-reaction.) | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/14/2009 4:41:47 AM | heres what you said:
That said, in my experience, men who are absolutely dead set against children tend to be more self-absorbed and needy on the whole (I don't want you to have anything else to pay attention to but me).
what you wrote i responded:
and on the comment some of us men dont like women with kids because basically we are self absorbed and want constant attention
so what was my over reaction.............sounds like a response to your comment to me.....your comment was not that complex.....maybe you should have said what you really meant , but my response was appropriate.
you commented men that are dead set against kids are more self absorbed and needy........ what kind of responses did you expect you were going to get from such a generalized comment???
did you expect we would just sit back and say.....oh yeah.....we are totally self absorbed and needy......sorry if to me that has a bad ring to it. | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:48:34 PM | Try again, friend. You may wish to print it out and underline the words "tend to be" so you recognize them as indication that I realize it is not the case that "they are all like that", only that, in my experience, they "tended to be so" (sic).
More specifically, you may wish to consider that I did say what I meant, and your projection of a complete indictment is your addition to my meaning, thus is your little brown bag to tote.
As to 'generalized comments', I use them because those who identify with them or feel any degree of conflict, guilt, or shame in relation to them (e.g., who are not comfortable with themselves) will immediately self-identify, usually by way of "taking exception" or becoming defensive. If you watch forums and how people react, you very quickly note that people only tend to sit up and holler when they think you're talking about them OR they feel as if you've misunderstood them -- both of which are instances of self-identification.
Obviously it doesn't bother me as I'm neither affected by it or do I have any reason to be concerned for it (my child-bearing days are past, my children are grown, and my post was a statement of personal observation that, regardless your sensitivity to the experiences I've had, does nothing to affect or change that they are, indeed, the experiences I've had).
Perhaps it 'had a bad ring' to it because that's what you're carrying in relation to it. Sorry, that's no one's issue but your own to manage.
Best wishes. | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:55:00 AM |
ahh i see another person with a psychology degree.....whatever.
Interesting. All I see is a collections of issues, possibly subscriptions. You'd benefit from some serious recycling; I suggest making a collage or possibly some paper mache, turn those into something softer and more interesting.
Best wishes. | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/15/2009 5:15:18 AM | All I see is a collections of issues, possibly subscriptions.......
your newest psychoanalysis
thanks for making my point for me
all i did was comment on your statement that in your experience most men that dont want a woman with kids are self absorbed and needy......i found that comment ridiculous.......you didnt like my response........and i have issues
yeah with your original comment......you may read into it however you so choose
lol..... | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/15/2009 4:33:29 PM | | It's no worry here, the way I see this, it's something of a public service. A person can't keep their behind in their drawers and forgets that their profile shows it, gets the instant karma that comes from it. :) | |
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| Are there any WA Ladies without kids???
Posted: 7/31/2009 4:13:36 PM | I don't have children and I don't desire to have a love relationship with women that do.
Women always put their kids as a first priority in their lives, meaning ahead of their romantic interests. A new man in a single mother's life will ALWAYS be secondary, and that is within her rights as a "good mother" to live by those rules. I just choose not have that kind of relationship. It's my choice. I want to be high priority, if not "top", with my love until the point we both decide to share biological children together. It is then that we both can shift our priorities to our common interests. That is aacceptable to me.
I do, at 45, still hope to meet a single or divorced female never having born children, but like others have mentioned in this forum thread .... almost all the type that I seek are in their mid 20's and their profiles indicate that they are usually seeking younger men than me. Almost 100% of all women my age have profiles that read: "Already have my litter/ I don't want anymore" or "Don't have them and never want them". The profiles of these women are fine with the exception that they do not share my goals.
I feel that in all fairness they have just as much say as to whom they choose as a life partner as I do. It's a matter of a give and take lifestyle choice. I am not upset whether or not a woman would choose to have children with me .... I'd just try to politely move on until I find the woman who best matches my and her interests.
I am friends with many single mothers and have dated some as well, so don't think that I am bashing them. I just have my own priorities.  | |
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